A Trail of Destruction in His Wake
by imdoingthiswhy
Summary: This was a gift for my sister-in-law. I've added an extra chapter that she & a couple of people here asked for. A post "Always" story. Rated T. Rick & Kate work at their new relationship as well as the mess surrounding Maddox, injuries, suspensions, resignation, Gates, cases, Smith, deals for Kate's life... Love, Angst, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Cases, Fluff & some of Castle's past.
1. Chapter 1

A Trail of Destruction in his Wake

Sitting with his mother, Castle had smiled genuinely at Alexis' graduation and felt himself swell with fatherly pride at her valedictory address, touched at her 'Always' closing and the little wave he knew was meant for him. When she called later in the evening, he reassured her, putting on a brave face to avoid ruining her graduation party.

Then Beckett was at the door.

He was still hurt and angry. He was alone, had just dumped her case file in his computer's trash bin. Right after beginning the process of wiping her out of his life, there she was at the door. He knew she had a permanent place in his heart, but he didn't want to let her into either his home or his head. Maybe, with enough time, and without her constant presence, he would be able to shove her into a corner of his heart where she wouldn't be so obvious…but here she was, demanding his attention again. Something was different this time, though; she was apologizing. She was reaching for him, kissing him, needing him, letting him touch her, wanting him to kiss her…more than once. She was dripping wet from the storm, but, mixed in with words that conjured up frightening happenings he couldn't deal with right then, she was saying things he needed to hear; and he couldn't resist her. She took his hand, they walked to his darkened room, and he pulled her into his bathroom, removing their wet clothing…hers soaked and his now very damp…and dropping it on the tile floor a piece at a time. He dried her lovingly with thick, fluffy towels and wrapped his bathrobe around her shoulders for warmth. Then, in spite of the injuries…scrapes and deep bruises, battered ribs, and the muscles that experience said would be aching and painful by morning, she led him through the dark to his bed…all the tension between them melting into the pleasure they were finally giving each other. Everything they had held back for so long was allowed to surface, and after they had exhausted themselves, they held each other close for a while. And he eventually asked the question again. "What happened, Kate?"

She told him about the roof and the rescue, the suspension, Esposito, the resignation. It was only a few sentences, and very brief descriptions; but it told him volumes, and he held her close for comfort…then they touched and kissed and soothed one another into sleep

xxxxx

Castle woke in the wee hours of the morning and reached for Kate, but no one was there. Just as he had begun to think he had been dreaming again, he heard faint sounds from the living room, so he pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and went to investigate. He found her in the dark, curled up on the couch in his bathrobe. She was sitting in the dark in the corner of the couch, facing away from the study, crying quietly. Her knees were drawn up close to her, her arms folded over her knees; and her face rested on her arms, seemingly in an effort to muffle the sounds. A box of tissues was on the table beside her, several tissues were in her hand, and a trash can with a good collection of used ones was beside the couch. It looked like she had been at this for a while.

He stood behind her near the couch, afraid of what he might hear. "Are the tears because you're having second thoughts? Are you sorry we…?

She wept harder when his voice surprised her and she realized he was there, but she shook her head hard so he would understand that wasn't the reason.

"Come here." He sat down beside her and turned her to pull her into his lap, holding her head against his shoulder. "How long have you been out here?"

She just shrugged. She was still crying, couldn't speak coherently yet, and hated that he was seeing it; but at the same time, it felt so good to have him hold her and care that something had made her cry. Before she reached his apartment earlier, she was afraid she had ruined everything and had lost him for good.

"Let it all go, Kate. Get it out. Then we'll deal with it."

She buried her face against his chest and cried as she breathed in the comforting scent of him, the scent of them; and he held her close and secure, now and then planting a consoling kiss on her head. When she had cried herself out and was down to occasional hiccupping sounds and ragged breaths, they both relaxed a bit. He continued to hold her, rubbing her back and her arms and soothing her.

Finally he asked, "Are you sure this has nothing to do with sleeping with me tonight?"

"I'm sure," she sniffed, her breaths still unpredictable. "I wouldn't trade that for anything."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I'm wrong. I've been so selfish, and I couldn't see it…or didn't want to see it…or just ignored it. I'm not sure which. I've made such a mess of everything. I've treated you so badly, and you still took me back. I don't understand why you even let me in your home. You should be so angry, but you made love to me like I was something precious to you, and you're holding me the same way now."

Rick moved her from his lap and stood, walking away and running his fingers through his hair in frustration. He loved her, knew he always would; but he _was_ still hurt, and he _was_ still angry, and she had just reminded him of exactly why.

"I'm angry, Kate. I'm mad as hell at what you did…how you treated me…how you treated us. When I said that I love you, you hardly even reacted. When I pointed out that you already knew that, you behaved as if I had a lot of nerve to mention it…because you felt betrayed…even though I did it to keep you alive. Don't you think I felt betrayed, too? You lied to me…repeatedly…for almost a year. When I heard you with that suspect, shouting that you remembered everything…I died a little bit inside. No. I died a lot inside. That was something that should have been said to me…gently, to ease the pain of hearing it…not shouted at some random suspect who couldn't have given a smaller damn. I thought I could trust you, that we were finally making progress, and then…" He stopped to pull his words together and pulled in a deep breath that he released into his next words. "All I could think was that you didn't want to have to tell me you didn't feel the same way…that you just kept me around because you didn't want to give up the friendship…the partnership…that I must have imagined all the progress we were making…" His voice was tense and rising in volume. "Part of the time you act like you care, but then suddenly you back off and it's all about Kate. And when it's your mother's case, you become so egocentric that nobody can reach you. You keep telling me it's your life, but it isn't _just_ your life. You affect everybody who loves you, but you don't see it enough to care. I can't fight that anymore, so if you didn't really mean that you can get past it, tell me now. Don't give me hope and then shove me away again. It's cruel." He suddenly sounded more sad than angry. "You _are_ precious to me, Kate. I love you. The closest thing to that rabbit hole in my life…it's Kate Beckett. It's hurt my family because it's hurt me, and I owe them better than what was left of me last night. I was finally ready to give you up, but you're back…giving me hope. Am I going to have to survive having it snatched away again?"

Kate stood and threw her arms around his waist, but this time his arms stayed at his side. "Rick, I'm sorry." She hugged him tighter. "I'm sorry. I woke up next to you and saw how peaceful you looked…then I remembered the pain I saw when you left me…the hurt and anger when you opened the door and asked what I wanted. Then it all came pouring in…the way I've acted…the things I've said…and haven't said. I don't ever want to hurt you again."

He moved his hands to her upper arms, ready to push her away if he didn't hear the right answer. "I want so much to believe what I think you meant last night, but I'm afraid of misunderstanding. What did you mean when you said all you wanted was me? Do you want us to have a life together? Do you love me, or did you just need me tonight…and know that I wouldn't have the strength to send you away? I need to know that…now."

"Have I been so horrible that you can really think I would use you that way?" The tears were welling up again.

Worried that he hadn't gotten the answer he'd hoped for, he pushed her away gently and walked a few steps from her before he turned to face her again. "How can I know what to think? I told you that I love you…twice…and it didn't even seem to register. I begged you not to take such chances if you cared about me, and the only response I got was anger that I was trying to get in your way. Then you suddenly show up at my door after a horribly traumatic day and tell me you're sorry, not that you love me, but that all you want is me…and then we're in bed…and it was spectacular…and… How the hell am supposed to make sense of all that?" He stopped and ran his hand through his hair again, still agitated and frustrated, then took a deep breath, exhaled a huff of air and asked more softly, "I was making love to you tonight, Kate. What did it mean to you?"

She stayed where she was, but she looked up at him so he could see the truth in her eyes. "I was making love to you, too, Castle. I don't think I ever knew what that meant before. I do love you. I'll apologize as many times as you need to hear it…for everything I've done wrong. I can drop anything else, but I won't give us up without a fight." She closed the few steps distance between them, reached up to stroke his cheek with her hand, and pleaded, "Please don't give up on us yet. Help me learn to be better at this. I love you so much."

He finally put his arms around her, and tears of relief threatened his eyes. "You don't need to keep apologizing. I just need to know that you love me. I can't accept less than that anymore. I'm sorry I was so hard on you."

"Don't be," she answered, putting her head back on his shoulder and comfortingly stroking his back. "I've earned it. When everything was on the line, the biggest regret I had about dying was that I'd never have the chance to tell you that I love you…that I need you…that I don't want to spend my life without you. I don't know why I didn't say it before now."

He wrapped his arms tighter around her and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much, Kate, but I'm not asking you to give everything up for me…just for you to want us enough to stop daring them to kill you."

"I can't promise the job won't put me in danger again, but I can promise I won't invite it from now on."

He held her for a long moment then kissed her forehead. "You just said the job could put you in danger, but you said you'd resigned. We're both wide awake now. Come in here and talk to me." He took her hand and led her to the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink? Juice, wine, milk, hot cocoa? I think mother and Alexis keep some chamomile tea around."

"Wine."

"Have you eaten anything since you left the precinct?"

"No," she mumbled quietly from beside him.

"Then let's find you something." Checking the refrigerator, and nearly being blinded by the sudden light, he quickly found cheese and fruit to go with the wine. Depending on the ever present lights of the city to provide dim light through the window, he took down two glasses and some crackers from the cabinet, and set it all on the kitchen counter. Then he pulled out two bar stools and motioned for Kate to join him.

She hadn't realized she hadn't eaten until he mentioned it, but at the sight of food, she was suddenly ravenous.

They sat close to one another, arms and legs touching, communicating pleasure at being together without needing to speak. Castle shared the midnight snack, giving her time to settle down and to take the edge off her hunger before he observed, "You made some life-changing decisions today...us…your mother's case…your job...finally having to admit that you aren't invincible. Does any of that figure into the tears?

"I'm sure it did. The whole day was overwhelming…horrible; but hanging from that rooftop, what kept rising to the surface was that I never told you I love you. When they pulled me back up to the roof, I thought I might never be able to apologize enough to make you trust me again; I had to take care of that first. Tomorrow I'll have to face the reality of everything else. I do love you, Castle. You may get tired of hearing it. The dam seems to have broken, and it just keeps pouring out."

He smiled at that. "Don't try to hold it back on my account." He looked down and said, While apologies are in the air, I need to apologize, too. I spent a few weeks behaving abominably. Mother finally told me that if I wanted to punish you, I should at least tell you why. I told myself I was just trying to get over you, but she was right. Getting over you didn't require dragging it in front of you at work…in front of our friends. We have to learn to talk to each other. We've been acting like insecure teenagers, and that clearly has to stop."

"When you did try to talk to me, I didn't listen. That's one of the biggest regrets I'll ever have. Can you eventually forgive me?"

"I may have already forgiven you. That was an incredible apology," he answered with a little smile and a lighter sound. Then he took her hand, kissed the back of it, held in both of his, and asked, "Is there anything you regret about your other decisions…like resigning?

"I really regret getting Javi suspended. Maybe resigning, but maybe not. I need time to back away from all of it and regroup. If it takes a new job to do that, I guess that's how it has to be. It's probably too late, anyway. I've already resigned." She reached out with her other hand and took his; and, as they talked, their fingers alternately stroked and intertwined, keeping them connected. "I'm not even sure who I am without the job. It's defined me for so long.

"If you really want to resign, I'll be your partner in that, too; but if you're having second thoughts about that, I'd give you good odds that the captain doesn't want to lose you. If you catch her before the paperwork is filed, she might still consider filing the suspension instead. That probably means talking to her right away."

"Or she might kick me out on sight…refuse to talk to me at all. She was pretty angry. When we left the hotel, I had already been thinking about you and my mom, then we left the emergency room and went back to the precinct. When Gates said we'd disgraced the department, that was it. She was right. I could see what I had done. Maybe I thought the department had let me down, too. I should have been able to trust somebody who could help. Anyway, I resigned, packed up and left…and she didn't try to stop me. She looked surprised, but she didn't say another word."

"She's as strong-willed as you are. Did you think she'd try to talk you out of it?"

"No, and I didn't want her to. At the time, I thought I knew exactly what I was doing; then later, I realized I had no idea. I went to the cemetery and 'talked' to my mother, then sat on the swings where you and I talked, then I came here. Whatever else I wasn't sure of, I was finally sure of us…hoping I hadn't done us irreparable damage."

He put an arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek. "Would the suspension give you time to regroup? You can always resign at the end of it…if that's what you really want.

Kate moved away from him and stood to pace back and forth, looking like a little girl in his too big robe, pausing now and then to make a point. "I don't know. I have to get my head straight…give the case up. It's too big for us, and I don't know who to trust with it. I don't know how to fight the people who had my mother killed. They seem to have carte blanche to kill and threaten and control. Whoever the man in control is, he's left a trail of destruction in his wake…my family, Roy's family, the other women who were killed around the same time as my mother. Who knows how many other families have been decimated by the same person. It's like they know what's going on by the time we do. That shooter today…he must have had Special Forces training. When we fought, I gave him my best hits, but he swatted me off like a fly. I'd have sworn that apartment was clear, but he appeared out of nowhere…even took Esposito by surprise. That doesn't happen too often. It was like he knew to watch for us…like he knew we were coming. How would he know? It isn't like he had left us much to find. It's like Raglan. I didn't tell anybody but you that he called, and you didn't have time to tell anybody else; but they knew where to send a sniper."

Castle suddenly seemed to be considering something. "Maybe he did know you were coming."

"What do you mean? How?"

"To know as much as they do, they need eyes and ears everywhere. We know that. They needed to keep an eye on you, and more than likely on Roy, so there's probably at least one informant in the precinct, and maybe electronic 'ears.' How did we miss checking on that before now? Do you want the option of keeping your job?"

"Maybe. Probably. I really don't know."

"Would you trust me to talk to Gates in the morning? Check her office and the team's desks while I'm there?"

"I'm a big girl, Castle. I can talk to her myself."

"I know that. But it would give us a chance to ask to talk to her away from the precinct. We have to either give up your mother's case entirely or turn it over to somebody we can trust to handle it carefully. The decision is yours; but to keep you alive, it has to be one or the other. Do you think you can trust Gates?"

"I've begun to lately, but it's hard to trust anybody anymore."

He turned on the bar stool to face her, caught her hand when she started to pace again, and pulled her into the V of his legs, wrapping his arms around her waist. "My gut says we can trust Gates. Whatever this is, it's too big for the team to handle alone. For your safety and all our families' safety, we have to either give it up or trust somebody; and a by-the-book former Internal Affairs investigator is probably a good place to start. She hasn't always been happy with us, but there hasn't been a single time that she hasn't come through for her detectives when it was necessary. If she were a part of it, wouldn't it have been easier to just let them kill you? To solve their problem for them, all she needed to do was to hold off on getting the team in there until it was too late…but she did get people there in time. As long as I live, I'll be grateful to her for that."

"I hadn't thought that far yet…but you're probably right." Suddenly something from earlier in their conversation dawned on her. "Wait. Are you saying you actually have something in your bag of toys to sweep for bugs?"

He smiled mischievously. "You'd be surprised what I've bought in the name of research."

She smiled and shook her head in amusement. "I'm afraid to ask." Then she looked more serious again. "Okay. Talk to Gates as an excuse…I trust you. And when you talk to whoever your contact is again, tell him I agree. I'll stop."

"I know how hard that is for you, but I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear it."

"I don't want them after you or your family...or the boys, either." As an afterthought, she added, "And after tonight, I don't want to die before I have a lot of years to share a bed with Richard Castle," she added.

"The bed is in there waiting for us," he answered, giving her a look that, even in the very dim light, left her wanting him again.

7


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kate was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, but there was still a feeling like adrenaline pumping as they talked about the case and she remembered the rooftop. She needed to put it out of her mind, she needed sleep, and she wanted Castle's attention elsewhere. She had a lot of making up to do. "Can we go back to bed and start over?" she asked, tugging at the waistband of his pajama bottoms. "I want you to know exactly what we're doing this time. No doubts."

He stood, pulled her closer and kissed her hungrily; then he led her back to his room.

Still wearing his robe, she pushed him to lie on his back and straddled him. She leaned forward and named and kissed everything she loved about his face, traced her index finger down the shape of his profile and told him how much she loved seeing it when she glanced at him as he sat beside her at her desk, whispered close to his ear the things she would miss if he had given up on her, interspersing them with little kisses on his face and neck, the warmth of her breath at his ear slowly destroying his ability to be still and only accept. He reached for the tie on the robe she still wore and pulled it slowly, spreading his hands across bare skin at her waist when it fell open and sliding his palms deliberately and unhurriedly up to slip the robe from her shoulders and arms, replacing it with exploring hands…which were stealing the restraint she had been using. She wanted him to know that she did see him, hear him, know his importance to her. They took their time, whispering and teasing and seducing, and loving one another until nearly dawn. This time she knew he fell asleep feeling well-loved, not just sated and satisfied.

Castle had set his alarm; but, in the morning, he didn't need to use it after all. He had slept for a little while, but his mind was too full of the day's events to settle itself. Alexis had graduated. Her life was about to move away from his, even if she didn't leave home…Kate almost died again…she said she loves him, more than once…she's in his bed. What next? Maybe Gates hadn't filed all the paperwork yet. Maybe if he talked to her… He believed they could trust her with the case, but he couldn't be sure. Maybe he could give her just enough to be able to read something in her demeanor that would make him trust her more. They had to trust somebody. Whoever this man might be, he shouldn't be allowed to run rough shod over anybody he chose; but someone with more authority and more objectivity needed to be in charge. The night before, he had only gotten as far as dumping Beckett's file into the trash bin when he heard her knock at the door. He hadn't emptied the trash yet. The file could still be retrieved and passed on to someone else…if that's what Kate wanted.

Kate was sound asleep, and it was nearly seven. The curtains were closed, and he didn't want to disturb her. She'd had a long, stressful day…as well as a long night, he remembered with a smile, and she should sleep for a while longer. After easing out of the bed, careful not to wake her, he took a quick shower and then got dressed in the semi-darkness. Before he left, he stopped in his study to write her a note and leave it on his pillow. They had agreed that he would talk to Gates that morning, but they had a lot of fence mending to do before they both had full confidence in what was between them now; and he didn't want her to worry when she woke up and he wasn't there. He took a relatively small device from his desk drawer and put it in his pocket before he left.

xxxxx

Castle had been sitting outside Gates' office for twenty minutes when he finally saw her leave the elevator and walk toward her office at seven-thirty. He had already checked Beckett's desk, and his suspicions were confirmed.

"Captain Gates, may I have about five minutes of your time?" he asked, standing in appropriate respect for the woman in front of him, who was quite obviously not happy to see him.

"Since your partner resigned, I see no need for you to be here, Mr. Castle," she said as she passed him brusquely to unlock her office door.

"Please, Captain. I'm only here for a few minutes to talk. I didn't come to ask you to take her back or to excuse anything that was done. But what I need to say could be something you need to hear. May I have just five minutes…maybe not even that long?"

Something in his manner registered as worth acknowledgement; so, against her better judgment, she motioned him into her office. "Five minutes, Mr. Castle, and it had better be important."

"Bear with me before you start counting minutes, please. I'll bring you coffee if you'd like…I haven't had mine yet." And, to Gates annoyance, while he talked, he took a piece of equipment from his pocket and swept the room quickly, finding a listening device under the base of a lamp on her desk. She appeared shocked as he tipped the lamp and very carefully pointed it out, trying his best not to jar the lamp too much as he did. He lowered the lamp back into place and moved away, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

She breathed out audibly. "All right. I need a couple of minutes anyway. I'd appreciate the coffee. I take it black."

Castle left, and Gates sat down and stared at the lamp, trying to decide why her office would be bugged and what to do about it as they talked.

Castle came back with two hot coffees and a note on an index card. He sat down in a chair in front of Gates' desk and showed her the note that said, 'Do you need to keep that intact?'

'For the moment,' she wrote on a note pad.

"Now why are you here?" she asked, sounding annoyed without looking it.

"How much do you know about Beckett's life after her mother's murder…or about the time leading to her shooting?"

"I thought _you_ were going to talk, Mr. Castle."

"Then I'll talk. She stopped depending on anyone but herself when she was nineteen. Her father became an alcoholic after her mother's death. In his grief, instead of her father taking care of his nineteen year old, she had to take care of him. For all practical purposes, she was left alone to grieve the loss of both parents. A little less than a year ago, we discovered that some of the police officers she had worked with and trusted, and at least one who worked on her mother's case, were involved with the same people who had her mother killed; and it looked like the same people could have had something to do with hiring the sniper who almost killed her. Another training officer used her for information in another scheme. With that many betrayals coming out in not much more than a year, she had no way to know who to trust. When there was a lead on the sniper, she didn't know who to go to…so she went without back-up…knowing that if the information reached the wrong hands, the man would be gone before they could find him. Esposito knew there was no talking her out of it, so he was trying to keep her alive. It doesn't excuse either of them, but it's the honest explanation."

"Detective Ryan told me a little of this yesterday. You're supposed to be her partner. Where were you yesterday afternoon?"

"Being a proud father...listening to my daughter's valedictory address. She graduated from high school yesterday.

"Congratulations to your daughter…and to you."

"Thank you." He couldn't help the fatherly smile that took brief control of his face, something that didn't go unnoticed by Captain Gates. "But we were talking about Beckett."

"When they pulled her up…a fraction of an inch from falling to her death, she was calling for you." The captain didn't miss the brief look of pain at that revelation, either.

"The two of us have pulled each other back from the brink too many times. I never expected not to be there for her when she needed it."

"And where is your partner this morning?"

"Probably either asleep or pacing. It wasn't her plan to have me speak to you; but I needed to be sure you had all the facts. I admit I left her on bad terms that day. We argued about her involvement in the case, and I told her I wouldn't stay and watch her die again. I had, in effect, resigned as her partner."

"It seems there's a lot of resigning going around," she answered drily.

"I saw the life drain out of her when she was shot, and she flat-lined on the way to the hospital, but they managed to bring her back. That's a tough thing for a partner."

"Yes, it is."

"Yesterday, she couldn't see the threat to herself, only the possibility of finding the shooter and the information about who he worked for."

"I'm her captain. Why couldn't she have come to me personally? It didn't have to be done in front of anyone else."

"In all fairness, Captain, after several others connected to this case had been killed, you replaced someone we had all trusted…and lost…apparently to the same people. By the time Beckett was back at work, her case had already been closed. She was one of your own, and the case was treated like any generic shooting. She felt deserted and betrayed again. How could she know whether you were simply a by-the-book captain or someone else trying to sweep her mother's case back under the rug? How could any of us be sure?"

"I won't defend myself. I did what I thought was best, but I can see your point."

"She came to see me last night and said this incident had convinced her to give up on finding the shooter…and on her mother's case. This time, I think she means it. I think Esposito's suspension has affected her as at least as much as her resignation. For what this information is worth when you consider how to proceed, I thought you should have it. It takes a long time to train a detective as good as Beckett, and what she does takes a lot of natural ability that can't be taught. If I were in charge of the twelfth, I wouldn't want to lose that."

"There are things to consider in what you've said, but what she did can't be ignored. She took another of my best detectives down with her…and left us without you as well."

"I would think you might have offered her a medal for that last accomplishment," he answered wryly.

"And there have been times I probably would have. You could have come to me yourself, you know."

"Again, Captain…in all fairness…"

"I did concede that point, didn't I? The fact remains that the secrecy has affected the twelfth. For the length of Detective Esposito's suspension, we're down almost an entire team. For a while, there will be resentment between two men who were like brothers, making them less effective as colleagues; and Beckett has resigned, leaving me losing an outstanding lead detective. That puts the twelfth at a distinct disadvantage."

"Have you filed the paperwork on the suspensions and the resignation yet?"

"No. I plan to submit it this morning,"

"Can you be convinced to hold on to it, possibly talk to Beckett now that the dust has settled?"

"I'll think about it. That's all I can promise."

"Then that will have to do. I'll leave the ball in your court." On the back of the index card he still held, he jotted a note saying, 'There's more to tell. My mother's acting school tonight at seven?' and held it for her to read before he tucked it back in his pocket.

She nodded, and he handed her one of his mother's business cards with the school's address, and told her, "Thank you for your time."

"Good-bye, Mr. Castle," she answered, sounding dismissive for the benefit of whoever was at the other end of the listening device.

Gates watched as Castle entered the elevator. It still galled her that she had been forced to accept the man in her precinct, but almost all the others at the precinct treated him as if he were one of them. He had earned their respect, and in spite of herself, she was getting there, too. He had, until yesterday, been right there beside her detective, no matter what was going on, and she suspected that there was more to his leaving than refusing to watch her get herself killed. She wanted to file the paperwork and put this behind her; but her office had been bugged, and he had known to try to find it before they talked. He worked around it efficiently and planned an unbugged meeting as easily as if he had been doing it all his life. He was good. Her detective's senses were tingling. It looked like there could be a lot more to learn about this case, and her curiosity wouldn't allow her to stay away from that meeting tonight, even if she tried. She couldn't abide dirty cops; and if one of her cases gave her the opportunity to ferret out another few, then the opportunity must be there for a reason. She looked at the lamp again. Her office had been bugged…right there in the middle of a bullpen full of detectives. There could be cops on someone else's payroll right there in her precinct, on the same floor with her office. The thought made her skin crawl.

5


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Castle returned to his loft bearing coffee.

When the door opened, Kate looked warily out the door of his study, wearing a pair of his drawstring sweats and one of his T-shirts. "I was afraid it might have been Alexis," she said, taking her coffee from him. She took a long sip before saying, "Mmmm. Thank you."

"Those look much better on you than they do on me," he said with an appreciative smile. "I hear the dryer running. Your clothes from yesterday?"

"I rinsed them in the washer when I got up, then threw them in the dryer, hoping I could be dressed in my own clothes before Alexis gets home."

"Unless she's here a lot earlier than I expect her, we should have a couple of hours," he said, leaning to kiss her and loving that it felt like something they should do now. "Good morning. I love you."

"I love you, too." Then she smiled at him, the smile that made his heart melt, and she looked happy and content to be there.

Alexis would be home in the next couple of hours, and they would have to decide how much to tell her; but right now, he could take Kate to the couch, sit her in his lap, and hold her as they enjoyed their coffee and more kisses. She curled into him, her head on his shoulder, and they sat quietly, enjoying the feeling of finally being open about wanting to be together.

The dryer buzzed not long after they finished their coffee, and Kate went to get dressed. When she came back from Castle's room in her own clothes, she appeared much more confident about seeing Alexis.

Castle had waited for Kate on the couch, and he held out his hand to encourage her to come back to where they were. He pulled her back into his lap gently, knowing she must be more aware of the pain and discomfort from her struggles yesterday, now that the adrenalin and desperation had worn off; and he kissed her again, gently. "I missed you," he explained.

"It was only a few minutes…but I missed you, too." She kissed him back, running her fingers through his hair as she did. She loved his hair almost as much as he loved hers. It was soft and felt good around her fingers; she had told him that the night before.

She lifted her face to look at him, and that was when he saw the bruises around her neck. It had been dark the night before; even when they talked, lights had been too dim to notice, and the rest of the time he had been either sleeping or thoroughly distracted. Even this morning, he had left the room dark to avoid waking her up. Now he was having a severe attack of conscience.

"Kate, where else are you hurt? How badly?" He pulled her shirt up and saw the bruises and scrapes on her sides and back, then he unbuttoned her shirt and found scrapes and bruises on her shoulders, some of the collection now a deep, frightening shade of nearly black purple. He had felt the roughness of her fingers and where there were scrapes on her skin, but she had insisted it wasn't anything to worry about. "You should have told me. Did I hurt you? I should have checked. Everything started in the dark, and I didn't think…"

"Don't apologize. I was pretty determined, if I remember correctly. We needed last night, Rick, and I was glad everything happened in the dark so you wouldn't be a gentleman and insist we wait…and I knew you would…no matter how much you might not want to. One of those things I love about you. And I didn't feel pain so much last night."

"The first time, maybe. But later, telling me how you love me, showing me…by then you had to have been in pain. Any time I asked, you said it was nothing to worry about. You didn't have to do that for me. It could have waited. You could have just given me the words.

"No, I needed that as much as you did. I didn't want you to ever go to sleep again wondering if I love you. Even when we were talking in the middle of the night, I was remembering, thinking about the case…the fight, hanging from a rooftop, the stuff with Gates. Adrenaline, maybe? There wasn't that much pain."

"You must be in pain now. Did you find something to take for it while I was gone?"

"Yeah, it all kicked in this morning. I raided your medicine cabinet and found some ibuprofen."

"Tell me what hurts. I don't know how to help if I don't know…"

Kate sighed in resignation. "My muscles hurt, and the bruises hurt, and it hurts to take a deep breath…ribs, I guess; but I don't want you to think you can't touch me. Just hold me. That makes it seem better."

As he buttoned her shirt back, he answered, "Then find where you're most comfortable, and tell me if I'm doing anything that hurts you."

She snuggled into him, finding a position where she could rest easily, and he put his arms around her where he didn't remember seeing too many bruises.

"Are you going to tell Alexis anything…about us…why I'm here during the day? Maybe I should go before she gets home."

"Don't go. I won't lie to her. I'll tell her we've worked things out, that we both want the same thing now. That isn't too far from the truth. We at least know we want to be together."

"What about last night?"

"If Alexis asks questions, I'll answer them honestly. She's eighteen, and she isn't stupid…and she knows me well enough to know if I'm lying to her. But if she doesn't ask, we don't have to tell. I'll explain to her later that there may be some changes here in the very near future."

"She's probably angry with me again," Kate speculated. "And I can't blame her. I'd be angry with any woman who put my dad through the wringer more than once. That's over, though. I promise you, Castle…never again."

He pulled her gently into a closer embrace, and took her lips in a possessive kiss, his fingers tangled in her hair. "All the things you said last night…things I didn't know you had noticed or cared about…you do love me."

"I have for a long time. I was just too stupid and scared to admit it."

"Are you still scared?"

"Yeah."

"Me, too."

"But at least I got past stupid. This is so much better than stupid," she answered with one of her smirky smiles.

He chuckled, and then there was another deep kiss, quickly full of need, arms around one another and fingers entwined in hair, and in the midst of it, the sound of the door opening and closing quickly, and Alexis dropping her bag at the door and calling out, "Dad, I'm home."

When it was a fraction of a second too late to stop herself from calling out to her father, the two people on the couch became obvious to Alexis, followed by the flurry of movement as Kate and Rick pulled apart, untangled their fingers from soft, warm hair, and separated their close, warm bodies.

"I'm sorry," Alexis gasped, "I didn't expect you to have company."

"We didn't expect to have company either, not quite this early," Rick answered with a rueful chuckle." Careful of her injuries, he reluctantly helped Kate move to the seat of the sofa; but he gently put his arm around her shoulders, concerned at the catch in her breathing.

"I could tell. So, do I need to start making lots of noise when I come in the door now to avoid finding my father and his partner making out on the couch?"

"If I'm lucky," he answered mischievously. Leaning his head back to look up at his daughter more soberly, he said, "Sorry, Honey. We didn't mean to surprise you like that."

"I'm sorry, Alexis. I didn't mean to embarrass any of us," Kate told her.

"When did this happen?" Alexis challenged, looking borderline angry as she sat down in a chair across from them. "Before graduation, I had the impression the two of you were over.

"Well, since then, we worked some things out between us, and now we're not." Castle answered matter-of-factly. "Not too many questions right now, Pumpkin, okay? We don't have too many answers ourselves yet, but we'll find them; and we promise you'll be the first to know. Until then, we're both happy about it."

"It sure looked that way."

"Is knowing that enough for you right now?" Rick asked.

Alexis glared at Kate. "Don't you ever hurt my father again," she warned her sternly.

"Alexis, you are not allowed to talk to Kate that way."

"Yes, she is," Kate insisted. "She has every right. She loves you, and if she sees me not considering your feelings, I'll expect her to call me on it. She has my blessings to take all the time she needs to get over not trusting me."

"Just don't do it again, Detective Beckett," she said less threateningly.

"Please call me Kate. It's just Kate."

"I've seen you and Dad working together, and anybody watching would think you were already together. You practically read each other's minds, and the way you look at each other sometimes… Everybody knows you belong together, and nobody understands why you aren't…weren't. But, fine…no questions yet."

"Thank you," Kate answered quietly. "Could I ask one?"

"Go ahead."

"Congratulations. I hear your speech went really well. Did you have fun at your all-nighter?"

Alexis couldn't hold back a big smile. "Yeah."

Kate slid over so Rick could move to the center of the sofa. "Come over here with your dad so you can tell him about it."

Rick moved over, too, kissed Kate's forehead, and whispered, "Thank you." Then he patted the seat on his other side, inviting Alexis to sit there. She sat down, already talking. Kate adjusted herself to find a comfortable position against him, and he sat there between two of the most important people in his life, feeling like a very fortunate man.

By the time Alexis had finished telling her stories, she was leaning against his other side, they had agreed on a couple of things that were truly disgusting, some that were great fun, wondered about some of the choices of entertainment, and laughed a lot, and everybody was more relaxed. Kate had quickly discovered that laughing hurt as much as breathing too deeply, so she confined herself to smiles and facial expressions to let Alexis know she was enjoying hearing about her party.

With Castle's arms around both of them, the two women were looking at each other part of the time Alexis was talking, and she could see the ready smile she had seen from Kate sometimes at work or during times Kate had been with them at the loft. She admired that Detective Beckett could walk into a room and take charge, map out a plan of action on the spot, and that people responded to her authority. Her intellect and sense of humor were as quick as Castle's. They were a good match. There was a lot there to like and respect, but Alexis was still wary.

"I hope you didn't mind that I was here to listen in," Kate said. "It was fun…reminded me of being your age.

"I could get used to this," Castle commented.

"I can probably get used to this, too," Alexis said, sitting up at the edge of the sofa. "I want you to be happy, Dad. I want you both to be happy…together." She kissed her dad and got up to get her backpack from beside the door.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Castle said, "I'm glad you had a good time. Did you see your tassel?"

"Yeah." She gave him her best smile. "It looks good on the lamp."

"I'm really proud of you," he told her.

She looked at Kate one more time. "You're the only one who can hurt him as badly as we've seen him hurt; but if you can keep him as happy as he looks right now, I can share my dad with you, Kate. Just don't hurt him again." This time she seemed to be pleading.

"I won't," Kate promised.

She looked at her father and Kate sitting on the sofa, and, for some reason that she couldn't fathom, Alexis actually believed Kate this time. They both looked so content. Something was definitely different. Lightening the mood a bit before she turned and went up the stairs. Alexis looked at her father, pointed a finger at him, and ordered, "And if I'm going to have to come home and find you making out on the couch, at least be sure you keep it clean. You do have a study with a couch and a door, you know."

"Yes, ma'am," Rick answered with mock remorse.

"Does that role reversal happen often?" Kate asked quietly, smiling at the play between the two of them.

"Now and then, but I usually deserve it." More seriously, he added, "Alexis and I have taken care of each other for a long time. She and mother and I are a close family. When one of us hurts, all of us hurt. Try to forgive her for worrying."

"There's nothing to forgive…nothing at all."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

By the time Alexis reached the door of her room, she had strained her ears to hear the entire quiet exchange between them and chanced a look back just in time to see her dad lean down to kiss Kate. It wasn't the kind of kiss she had walked in on; but it sounded like both of them had meant every word she'd heard, and the kiss seemed to seal the agreement. She smiled to herself as she went into her room and closed the door. Then she took out her phone and dialed her grandmother.

Castle had his phone out, too, answering a call from a worried Lanie. Esposito had gone to Lanie the night before, not thinking about much else, but this morning he was worried about Beckett. He knew she hadn't sounded happy about Castle the day before, but he took a chance and asked Lanie to call Castle anyway while he got ready to go and check at Kate's apartment.

"Hey, Castle. I've been trying to find Kate…make sure she's okay. Javi told me what happened. He called her, but nothing yet. He's ready to go to her apartment. Have you heard from her?"

"She's here. She's pretty battered and bruised, but she's okay."

"How bad is it?"

"Sore stiff muscles and some really scary looking huge bruises, and ribs probably. She has some pain with a deep breath."

"I'll be over during lunch to check on her. I'll feel better if I see for myself. Is it okay if I bring Javi?"

"Sure…and I'll feel better if you say she's okay, too."

"If I weren't so worried about her, you'd get the third degree on how you know so much about those huge bruises, writer-boy. See you around noon."

"Thanks, Lanie." Ending the call, he told Kate, "She's coming by at lunch to see for herself that you're okay. I'm going to straighten up my bed so you can lie down for a while…let the ibuprofen work. When Lanie gets here, she's going to get the story out of you, anyway. No sense in climbing the stairs to the guest room just for show. Javi's coming with her."

"Good. I owe him huge apologies."

7


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

There was a knock at the door, and a courier package was delivered for Castle. After taking it to his study to open, he found a burner phone with a note attached; it read '11:00a.m.,' and he knew immediately who it was from. Kate would have to be told. It was enough that he had arranged a meeting with the captain tonight and he hadn't managed to tell her yet. Now this. Maybe good sense would still be in charge and they could handle it together. At least they would know what Smith had to say before they talked to Gates…or Esposito.

After taking a deep breath, he braced himself before going back to the living room to talk to Kate. He took her to sit at the kitchen table, where he could watch the stairs and be able to leave Alexis out of the discussion, and then he explained everything to Beckett.

"You already arranged a meeting?" she asked stiffly, but quietly, also mindful of Alexis.

"If you don't want to talk to her, we can cancel the meeting, but it was easier to arrange a meeting we could cancel than to make a suspicious second visit. This may give you options if you want them. You were angry yesterday when you made your decision, and you'd been through hell. If you don't regret resigning, I'll be more than happy to take care of you for the rest of your life, or back you in whatever else you want to do; but if you think you might regret it somewhere in the near future, maybe you should think about not burning all your bridges quite yet. Any later than this morning, and the paperwork would have been in…options would have been more difficult." He paused and asked pointedly, "Are you angry because I asked her to hold your resignation, or because I hinted at the case you promised to give up?"

She obviously knew that his question was in the form of a challenge and seemed to decide that honesty was required. "Both, I guess. Old habits die hard. I'm not going back to working on it; I promised you…I promised us…that I wouldn't. I know it's for my own safety, and but that doesn't make it easier."

"I know that," he said, tracing circles on her hand. "And I wish I didn't need to ask you to stay away, but I don't want to lose you. None of us want to lose you… not your dad, none of us here, none of your work family. My gut says we can trust Gates, Kate. I believe she was honestly shocked to see that listening device under her lamp.

"Your instincts are as good as any cop I've known, and my gut says we can trust her, too; but I don't like it."

"Giving up working the case doesn't mean giving up being informed, or consulting now and then. Between the four of us, our team has more information on all this than anybody else seems to…except Smith and the people who are who are up to their ears in covering it up. Maybe we can consult in the background now and then, but we can't check in for information all the time, and we can't be involved. Somebody else needs to be in charge… somebody just as capable but more objective…and with more authority and better connections."

"Better connections than you? I don't think I've ever known anybody with so many connections to so many people."

"The kind we'll need later? Probably."

Kate was up and pacing, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "You're probably right. No. I'm sure you're right. I just don't like it. We'll have to tell her about Roy, won't we?"

"Probably. She was IA for a long time. She may have her suspicions already."

"I just hate to bring him into it. It feels like I'm the reason he died."

"And I feel like I'm the reason. I went nosing around where I had no business being, when I should have stayed out of it. But, Kate, the truth is that if it had come out at the beginning, it would only have been a matter of routing out a few bad cops and maybe a couple of ambitious higher ups. After this much time, though, it's grown. We might have been a catalyst, but neither of us caused the problems they're so willing to kill to protect. The fact is that Roy's first concern was protecting his family. He knew that if he were gone and hadn't revealed anything, those people would have no reason to hurt his wife and children. The information Roy sent Smith was to protect you after his family was safe. He felt that he owed you."

"It still feels like it was my fault." She reached out toward him, and he took her hand in both of his. "And after all that, I pushed them with my lack of good judgment, and they tried to kill me again."

"I know," he agreed. "I know."

"What time do we meet the captain? And don't expect me to grovel."

"Seven…and I'd never expect such a thing."

"Are you sweeping the school for bugs before we talk to her?"

"Yep. I swept the loft, too."

"Did you find anything?"

"No. And I gave the bedroom and study some extra attention. No need to share that with anybody else," he said with a mischievous grin.

"No," she agreed and slid her arms around him for another kiss.

xxxxx

As promised in the note, the new burner phone rang at eleven o'clock. "What's going on?" Castle asked.

"The shooter is no longer a problem, but Detective Beckett isn't necessarily in the clear yet."

"What happened?"

"He found me, but you don't push your luck with the people he worked for without having contingency plans ready. He got in the way of one of mine, but I'm sure he had already reported on where to find me.

"Who found you?"

"Your sniper…the man who nearly killed Detective Beckett. I'm disappearing again, but I'll stay in touch when it's necessary. The information is still under my control, and I have his phone and wallet. Detective Beckett is safe for the short term, but there's no way to know how long that will last. Stay out of this, and she might have a chance."

"Detective Beckett is off the case. She's giving it up."

"You have to be sure. I don't know how long it will be before they find me again, but the information will be safe. The man who was here…whoever he really is…said that I didn't have a deal…I had blackmail. He still intended to kill your detective once they had the information. Both of you need to be careful."

"Can Gates be trusted?"

"Yes. Roy encouraged her to apply for the job…told her he was retiring…said he sent her a letter the day he mailed me the information."

"What was…" Castle looked at the phone. "He hung up."

"Are all the calls like that?"

"Yeah. Short, often cryptic, and frustrating."

"What did he say?"

"That the sniper is no longer a problem, that Smith still has the information…that Maddox had found him and said that he didn't have a deal, only blackmail." Castle paused briefly and looked worried. "And that Maddox had intended to kill you as soon as he retrieved the information from Smith."

"Was that ordered, or was it because I had crossed him?"

"I don't know. You have to really give this up. We need to turn over everything we have. Both of us."

"Oh, God, Rick. If any of this puts your family in danger, I'll never forgive myself."

"If it does, it's my own fault. I have to look like I'm out of it, too. Maybe we can have a convincing discussion in Gates' office with the bug, so we know they hear it."

"And Gates?"

"He said Roy encouraged her to take the job. If we're lucky, a little sniff of bad cops will grab her attention and she'll want to help. Everything we've found has left another piece of destruction behind us, and this time it's affected Javi and put a real strain on the team. Maybe after tonight, Gates will understand. And if we can do something to help Javi, maybe we won't have to feel guilty that our being together grew out of this mess."

"It's going to be so hard to let somebody else take over."

"I know. But you have to. Your dad might not survive losing you. And I need you alive, too. I love you, Kate. Please don't let yourself fall into this again."

"Almost falling from that building made me see things differently. I want whatever is left of my life to be with you, Castle. My mother would understand that, and she wouldn't want me dead, either. As hard as it is, I have to back away from it, but I still want to see it solved, even if it has to be without me.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, breathing a sigh of relief. "I don't know how to tell you how glad I am to hear that."

xxxxx

A little before noon, Kate was resting in Castle's bed and he was putting together something for a lunch big enough for the two of them, his daughter, and their friends. Alexis came downstairs when he was about half finished and helped him out. She was horrified when he told her why Javi and Lanie would be there for lunch, explaining to her what had happened to Kate.

"That must be why she had her hands folded under her chin so much of the time we were talking. She didn't want me to worry about the marks on her neck. She knows I'd recognize them for what they are now." She looked at her father with remorse. "Dad, I was so mean to her, and all the time, she was in pain…and still smiling at my stories and being so understanding. I'm sorry."

"You can tell her later. She's resting in my bed. I didn't see any reason to have her climb the stairs to the guest room. I think most of her muscles hurt right now, and she's pretty badly bruised, and it's hard for her to take a deep breath."

"I'll talk to her after everybody leaves."

"Honey, I'm going to insist that she stay here tonight, and she's going to stay with me…not upstairs this time." At Alexis' questioning look, he assured her that that he just wanted to be close if Kate needed anything. "I love her, Alexis, and I want to be the one to take care of her…nightmares, glass of water, pain meds, whatever."

"She'll be okay with that?"

"As long as you are. She cares about what you think."

Before the conversation moved farther, there was a knock at the door, and Castle went to invite their friends in.

"Where's my girl?" Lanie asked without greeting anyone.

"She's resting. Come on. I'll take you to her," Castle answered.

Lanie looked toward the kitchen and saw Alexis wave tentatively. She smiled and waved back, but didn't stop, and Esposito didn't follow.

Looking over at Alexis, he explained, "It's probably better if I wait until Lanie is finished with her. She'd just run me out anyway." He sounded both down and concerned.

"Lunch is almost ready," Alexis volunteered.

"Smells good. Did you make it?"

"Dad and me," she answered with a little smile.

Little Castle's smile always made him feel better. "What are we having?" he asked to distract both of them, and Alexis gave him the culinary tour of the stove and countertop.

Lanie stopped at the door of Castle's room and looked up at him knowingly. "This is your bed, isn't it?"

"All the others are at the top of the stairs. She hurts, Lanie. See if there's anything you can do for her…please."

Looking at his concern for her friend, she wanted to give him a hug, but she settled for going in to see Kate instead. "I'll check her over. I'm gonna close the door so she's more comfortable with it, okay?"

"Yeah. Lunch will be on the table when you're finished. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will." She gave him a sympathetic look before shooing him out of his own room.

"Hey, girl. Where does it hurt?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The medical examiner went directly into 'doctor of live patients' mode. "Let's get that that shirt off, girl. I need to see those injuries."

Not moving from where she was, Kate protested, "Lanie, they released me from the hospital. They said nothing was broken. It's just going to take a while for all the things that were bruised or sprained or pulled to recover. I'm okay…mostly."

"You get that shirt off, or I'll do it for you. Come on. I'll help you sit up."

Kate groaned, sat on the side of the bed, and helped her impatient friend get the shirt off.

"Oh, Kate," Lanie said, feeling pain for her friend, and did an examination that satisfied her that Kate's assessment of her injuries were probably what she had reported. "Drop the slacks. What else is here?"

Kate stood and let her slacks fall as far as her knees, "Just more bruises and scrapes. Most of it stops above my knees. I can feel where the worst of his blows struck. Most of my muscles rebel at nearly any move. At the end, I was holding on with my fingertips…with one hand. That side hurts more than the other. My hands are stiff and scraped and there's a sore spot on the side of my head. There are bruises that look like fingers on my neck where he tried to strangle me. Taking a deep breath hurts…ribs, I guess; but x-rays didn't show any breaks. On the bright side, I don't have any stitches, so I can take showers and baths. There's too much to ice it down. I just have to wait it out. Anything to add?"

Finishing her exam, Lanie answered, "Nope. Looks like you pretty well covered it. Do you have pain meds?"

"They gave me a prescription, but I'd forgotten I had it. I spent a lot of time in the rain yesterday. I don't even know if it's still worth having."

"Well, where is it?"

"In my purse, maybe…or my jacket pocket?"

"Where's your purse?"

"On a hook in the bathroom…with my jacket, I think," Kate answered as she pulled her slacks back on."

Satisfied that nothing was worse than Kate had reported, Lanie was now ready for non-medical information. "And why, pray tell, would your jacket and purse be in Richard Castle's master bath?"

"They were dripping wet from the rain, and I didn't want to leave them in the floor in the foyer any longer," she answered absently as Lanie helped her back into her shirt.

"The rain stopped before midnight. How long have you been here? What else spent a soggy night on the floor…or hook…or whatever? You were looking pretty comfortable in Writer-boy's bed." Lanie's arms were folded and a little smirk was on her face.

Realizing she was being interrogated, Kate just gave in. She didn't have the energy to hide things right now. "It's a very comfortable bed. We spent last night in it. I walked over here in the rain, dripped water into his apartment, threw my soggy self at him, told him things I should have said a long time ago, promised to give up my mother's case, took responsibility for my mistakes…and woke up happier than I can remember being since…probably ever. I'm so in love it's ridiculous, and he's taking care of me like I never treated him as badly as I did. I don't deserve him, but I'm so glad he doesn't seem to agree." Her shirt was now buttoned, and she took a breath to recover from her confession. "Does that do it for you?"

"Are you telling me that man saw all this and still took you to bed?" Lanie asked indignantly.

"He didn't see it because everything was dark, and when he asked about the scrapes he felt, I told him it didn't matter. And I didn't give him much choice, Lanie. I was so wired last night that I didn't feel all of it until this morning. It's all on me. And if Alexis is out there, don't push this. She caught us in a pretty serious kiss when she got home this morning. We got through that, but she doesn't need to know all of it yet. And I don't think I can deal with that along with this right now."

"Sweetie, I think that's more talking about the two of you than you've done at one time the whole time you've known Castle. I'm really happy for both of you. You need each other. Everybody can see it. Hold on to this tight." She gave Kate a gentle hug and a big smile. "Your writer promised us lunch, and it smelled good. You up to eating something?"

"Probably. Definitely ready to be close to him again." She stopped and laughed. "I sound so sappy, even to myself."

"You sound happier than I've seen you since...probably ever," she answered, eyes twinkling as she threw Kate's own words back at her. "Let's get you out there close to your man."

"Is Javi here?" Kate asked as they walked through the study.

"Yeah. He just knew better than to get between me and checking on my girl."

"I need to apologize."

Castle met them at the door of the study. "Is she really okay?"

"Yeah. It's no worse than she thought," Lanie assured him.

"Did last night cause…"

"She dared me to try to blame you, but no. These things are usually really bad the next day or two, then it gradually gets better. You're doing good, Castle."

He looked visibly relieved.

Esposito walked over to them. "Hey, boss. You doing okay?"

Lanie and Castle left them to talk, and Kate hugged him, feeling tears welling up. "I'm so sorry, Javi. The last thing I wanted was to get you into something that would affect your record. You didn't deserve that."

"It was my decision. I'm still mad with Ryan, but I know you would have died if he hadn't talked to Gates. From what I heard, it was way too close, anyway. One minute I want to hit him, and the next, I want to hug him. I'm a mess."

"Yeah. My mind is still a mess, too." She inhaled a deep breath, moved back, and told Esposito, "We're going to turn the case over to Gates. I realized yesterday that this is way too big for the four of us to handle. I can't let this get to Castle's family. They have nothing to do with it. And I don't want to lose any of you. We both could have died yesterday if Maddox didn't have to run. I was completely out of control, and I took you down with me, and I'm so sorry. We're going to talk to Gates tonight, take her everything we have. It's for the best.

"Yeah. I want to find this SOB, too, but you kind of scare me when you get too close to it."

"You had my back anyway."

"Yeah, unlike…"

"Don't go there, Javi. It was my fault he bowed out, and he was at Alexis' graduation, anyway. That's where he belonged. The rest is between Castle and me."

"He's really worried. It looks like he's taking good care of you. You must have worked it out, whatever it was."

"He is, and we did."

"He took a good look at her.

"You look happy."

"I am. I'll be a lot happier when it doesn't hurt to move…and when I've actually handed this case to somebody else."

"Moment of truth yesterday?"

"Something like that."

"I hate that you resigned. You should have just taken the suspension."

"I think making the job go away yesterday helped my moment of truth. But I'll talk to Gates about that tonight when we talk to her about the case." Changing the subject, Kate said, "I'm hungry."

"Me, too." As they walked to the table, he said, "You'll let me know how it goes with Gates?"

"Count on it."

Lunch became more pleasant from there. Esposito and Lanie watched the new ease Castle and Beckett showed around each other. They joked later that they practically had 'We're in love' stamped on their foreheads.

Alexis watched, too. Her grandmother was going to be beside herself when she got home and saw it with her own eyes.

Kate was visibly wilting. The ibuprofen had run its course and was no longer taking any of the edge off the pain. Kate wanted nothing more than to go back and lie down.

Lanie claimed to be leaving, but when Castle walked her to the door, she told him, "Kate said something about a prescription for pain meds, said it might be waterlogged. "If you'll go and check on it, I'll wait. If it isn't legible, I'll write one for her when I get back to the morgue. She said it's either in her jacket pocket or her purse. I think they're both in your bathroom, but she didn't want it to be too obvious in front of Alexis."

"Be right back." He checked her jacket pockets and found nothing, and he wasn't about to open the purse without permission. He'd learned that lesson long ago from other women in his life, so he took the purse to Kate and let her check.

Kate found the prescription, relatively unscathed, and Esposito volunteered to take it to the pharmacy for her. Castle told him where to find one, only a block away, and said to ask them to deliver it to the loft. That being taken care of, Lanie and Esposito left, and Castle helped Alexis clean up the kitchen.

Alexis stood next to Kate and said, "I'm sorry I was so mean this morning. I didn't know you were hurt so badly."

"You weren't mean." She reached out and took Alexis' hand in both of hers. "You didn't say anything that you didn't have every right to say. I'm just happy that your father is such a forgiving man. I do love him, Alexis. Things are going to be better, I promise."

Alexis started to give Kate a hug. "I don't know where," she explained when she stopped.

"Anywhere…just gently." Kate smiled and gingerly held her arms out.

xxxxx

Kate opted to settle herself on the sofa until the medicine was delivered, which happened about forty-five minutes later.

Castle read the instructions…every four hours. That would work out well, he thought. One for a good long nap, then one to get Kate across town and through a meeting with Gates, and one more before bed. He knew he'd be lucky to get her to take them for even one more day, but at least she could be a little more comfortable for now.

Alexis got Kate a glass of water, took the pills away from her father, read the instructions carefully, and handed both to Kate. "It says one every four hours as needed, she told her. I hope it helps."

"Are all Castles genetically built to be caregivers?" Kate asked.

"I think it's in the Rodgers genes. Wait until you wake up and have to deal with Grams," Alexis told her with a grin and bent to kiss the top of Kate's head. She looked startled, and her hand went to her mouth as if she thought she might have taken things a step too far.

Kate smiled. "Genetic?" she asked good-naturedly.

"That one's probably environmental," Alexis answered, pointing toward her father, who was chuckling at the awkward but heartwarming scene before him. Then she bounded up the stairs to her room.

"Take your medicine and get some rest," Castle told Kate. "I can get some writing done this afternoon, and maybe you can catch up on a little sleep."

"When does your mother get home?"

"A couple of hours." He walked over and held out his hand to help her up.

Kate took her pill and then took Castle's hand and stood slowly to humor the pain in her muscles. He didn't let go of her hand, just walked beside her to the bed and saw that she was settled comfortably. When he started to close the door, she asked him to leave it open.

"I want to be able to creepily watch you work for a while," she teased.

Castle smiled at that and left the door open. Then he sat down at his desk, opened his laptop, and went to work.

xxxxx

Martha returned when they expected her, and was surprised to hear about the injuries when she asked about Kate. Castle caught her up on the situation.

Alexis, having heard Martha come home, came downstairs to join them, and they went into the living room and talked for a few minutes. In the midst of Martha's report on her trip to the Hamptons, they heard Kate call out, "Castle!" It was a terror stricken sound, and Castle got up and ran to his room, barreling through the open door just in time to hear Kate whimper pleadingly, "Castle," as she tried to pull herself from sleep.

He sat down on the side of the bed and pulled her into his arms, holding her tight and crooning soothing words. "It's all right, Kate. I'm here. I'm here. It was only a dream. It's all right.

She finally realized it was a dream and clung to him as if he might disappear in a puff of smoke if she let go. "I'm sorry. It was just so real."

"Was it about what happened on the roof?"

Kate just nodded against his shoulder, still painfully trying to catch her breath.

Martha and Alexis had followed Castle as far as the door, but stopped outside the room as he took her in his arms. The intimacy in the trust and familiarity was nearly visible, and Martha put her arm around Alexis' shoulders and led her out of the study and back to the living room.

"Is she okay?" Alexis asked, worried about Kate.

"It was probably just a nightmare. She's been through a lot recently. It's all still fresh in her mind."

"She let Dad hold her and take care of her. I didn't think she let people do that."

"She loves him, darling. She's decided she can trust him with her moments of weakness. Sometimes that's as intimate a thing as making love…especially for a strong woman like Kate. Richard understands that about her, and I'm betting he feels pretty special right now…and that she feels pretty safe." She had Alexis sit on the couch with her.

"Do you think she really loves him?" Alexis asked.

"I doubt she'd still be here if she didn't."

"I should start thinking she'll be living here full time, soon, shouldn't I?"

"I hope, so, dear. I really hope so. Until recently, in all these years, I don't think I've ever seen your father truly in love. He needs her, Alexis. Even if it doesn't last, we have to be happy for him as long as it does."

"From what we just saw, I think she needs him, too. I've never seen Kate look that scared."

"How are you doing with this?" Martha asked, taking her granddaughter's hand in hers and resting it on her knee.

"I guess it bothers me a little. It isn't fair of me, though, is it? I'm going to college soon, and he needs somebody who understands him. He doesn't do well spending too much time alone."

"If it didn't bother you at least a little bit, you wouldn't be normal."

"I just hope she'll be there the same way for him when he has his nightmares."

"I suspect she will. Right now, though, I'll bet she doesn't even know he has them. He wouldn't have told her that."

"Because he loves her and she already had enough to deal with?"

"Because of that."

When Castle cajoled Kate back to the living room, it was easy for the other two women to see that she was embarrassed. "I'm sorry. If I sounded to you anything like I did in my dream, it must have must have been scary," she apologized as she eased herself down into a chair.

Kate, as predicted, got the full Rodgers mom treatment, starting with a big hug. "You're the only one worrying about it, darling. After what you've been through in the past few days, it would surprise us if you _didn't_ have nightmares. Don't give it another thought." Turning to her granddaughter, she ordered Alexis to find the large cold pack Martha kept in the freezer in a plastic container.

"Mother, I didn't know you still had that," Castle exclaimed. "If I had we'd have used it by now."

"Then it's a good thing your mother is home, dear," she answered, fluttering around the counter to take the container from Alexis. She unfolded a long, wide soft ice pack from the container, found a toweling cover for it on the shelf in the hall closet, and took it to Kate. "Here you are. This is big enough to cover your entire back. I bought it for mine after a fall during a rehearsal a few years ago. It stays cold for ages. It's wonderful. Just lean forward a little, and I'll slip it behind you."

"Thank you, Martha." Kate smiled and leaned forward slightly. She didn't know how much it would help, but there was obviously no stopping the mothering in progress, and she knew it couldn't hurt to get a little cold on those bruises. "It does feel good," she said when she leaned back, as if she might have been surprised.

Martha had already been to the kitchen and poured her a glass of wine…the Martha solution for a wide variety of ills…and stood next to Alexis to hand it to Kate. After Kate took it, Martha leaned and kissed Kate on top of her head before walking away.

Kate looked at Alexis with a knowing smile. "Genetic," they both said softly at the same time and grinned.

Martha missed it because she was already back in the kitchen offering to get Kate something to eat.

Castle stood leaning on the doorway outside of the study, enjoying the whole flurry of activity. Nope. Neither woman in his family would have any qualms about keeping Kate around for a while. If he played his cards right…and carefully…gave her the room to make her decisions…before long, he might be able to keep her there forever.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Beckett and Castle arrived at the dark acting school a little early to have time to check the room they would meet in and then stationed themselves near the front door to let Gates in when she got there. A few minutes after they were there, they saw a figure approaching the building and identified it as Gates, so Castle went to the door and let her in. They walked through the partially darkened entrance and into an inner room where there would be no visible light from the outside after they closed the door.

"A little cloak and daggerish, don't you think Mr. Castle?" Gates asked as he ushered the two women into the room.

"Forgive me, but after two attempts on Kate's life, I can't be careful enough." He invited them to sit at a round table in a corner of the room. "Her mother's death and the attempts on her life are connected."

"You're sure the sniper and Johanna Beckett's murder are linked?"

"Absolutely. Kate was close to finding out too much, and it didn't look like she would stop. She apparently scared someone important."

"And how were you involved in all this?"

"You won't like it."

"It's too late to worry about that now, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir."

"He managed to get a look at my mother's case, Captain. He found something I had missed," Kate told her, "Other cases I hadn't connected to my mother's. After Coonan, I gradually eased back into the obsession to find her killer. I had expected the mafia or drug dealers, not dirty cops with high powered connections. Every time somebody tried to tell us something, they'd end up dead, and we soon understood it was bigger than we thought. After all these years, some of the people who knew what was going on have apparently advanced to more prominent positions and don't want any of the past to come out…and they're willing to kill to prevent it. We don't know how far it goes….how many people are involved…how many other crimes may be connected…how many eyes and ears they have around us…when they might strike again…" She stopped and took in a breath. "I'm sorry to have put you in this position; but I honestly didn't know who to trust, and I didn't want Maddox to get away. I wanted to know who hired him."

"And your obsession was in full swing again?"

"It was," Kate conceded. "Castle tried to tell me that I wasn't in control, but I didn't listen. That's the last time it will happen. You both have my word."

"Well, at least one of you was using good sense. Do you plan to share details with me?"

Castle took a stick drive from his pocket. "I brought you everything we have. Johanna Beckett's case file is here and Kate's case file from the shooting last year, details about every case that seemed to be related, any information we found last year that seemed to have a connection, my communications with a man who contacted me using the imaginative name of Smith…everything we have. Kate needs to be very obvious about giving all this up. Her life may depend on it."

"You're certain you aren't being overly dramatic?"

"Look at what we have and decide for yourself."

"I've been through everything we have on Detective Beckett's shooting and what we have on her mother's case. But all right, let's see it. Might as well start at the beginning. Maybe your points of view will make a difference."

Castle set his laptop in front of her and plugged in the stick drive; and, with Beckett and Castle guiding her tour, Gates scanned through the case files and other information, questions and answers being exchanged between them in the process. An occasional surprised quiet intake of air was heard from Gates.

When they had quickly looked at all of it, Gates commented, "I didn't see anything about Roy before he met Lockwood and those other men at the hangar. There's more, isn't there?"

Beckett and Castle looked at each other with remorse. They hadn't wanted to lay it out if it wasn't asked, but they knew it would eventually come out anyway. Gates was nobody's fool, and it was information she would need.

"Roy Montgomery, as a rookie cop, was working with Raglan and McAllister," he told her. "They mentored him, somehow convinced him that what they were doing was all right, and he ended up indirectly linked to Johanna Beckett's murder. He realized how bad it was and wanted out, but he knew too much. He tried to make up for it every way he could…turned himself around and separated from them, but he knew he and his family were in danger if he tried to rectify it.

"And how are you so sure of that?"

He looked at Kate with regret that everything had to come out. "We were both at the hangar that night. He said Lockwood had called him and demanded that he bring Kate to the hangar to turn her over to them. Roy had a longstanding deal with them that they would leave Kate alone if she left her mother's murder alone. Then it was dredged up again. Later, Lockwood came to Roy's house…slipped in to talk to him away from his family. He threatened Kate and Roy's family….told him he could have one or the other, but not both. Roy said Lockwood was holding one of his daughters' teddy bears while they talked. He knew his options were at an end...called Kate and told her to meet him at the hangar…claimed new evidence; then he called me to be there ahead of them so I could get Kate out before the shooting started."

"I didn't know all of that," Kate interrupted.

"He didn't intend for you to know."

"Does anybody know exactly how he was connected to the hit on Kate's mother?"

"When I got there, I got a text telling me the third cop we were looking for was Roy," Kate answered. "He had a gun. I thought he was going to shoot me; but he let me ask questions. He gave me most of the answers…but not the name of the man at the top. He said if he did, it would be the same as shooting me on the spot because I'd go straight for the man and get myself killed; and right then, he was probably right. A couple of days ago, he would still have been right. It all started with a few cops working for somebody we haven't been able to identify. They were kidnapping mobsters and holding them for ransom."

"I saw that in the files," Gates breathed, shaking her head.

"It gets worse. They planned to take Pulgatti that night, but there was another man there, Bob Armen, who was FBI, working undercover. He wasn't supposed to be there. In the scuffle, Armen was killed, so they framed Pulgatti for the killing. My mother was looking into Pulgatti's conviction and found things that didn't add up. When she got too close, whoever was running things had her killed. When I got too close, he ordered a hit on me. Roy said he wasn't going to jail…that he couldn't do that to his family. It was a suicide mission from the time Lockwood left Roy's house. I couldn't turn him in…couldn't do that to his family. It was…"

Castle took her hand, captain or no captain.

"It was withholding evidence," Gates interrupted. "I know it was hard to deal with, but…"

"We're sure he died that night at the hangar to protect his family," Castle told her. "They knew nothing about any of it. Before Roy died, he sent Smith all the information he had, with the request that he use it to make the deal for Kate. Smith was able to blackmail someone at the top into letting Kate live if she stopped working on her mother's case. He calls me randomly with warnings about what's likely to happen…or with just enough information to drive me crazy, without telling me enough to completely solve anything. He's the reason we solved the murder Bob Weldon was being set up for. He gave me a hint and left me to figure it out.

"What do you know about the shootout at the hangar?"

"They wanted me out of the way," Kate explained. "Roy lured them there by telling them he'd get me there for them. He called Castle in when we heard Lockwood and his men coming, and Castle took me, literally kicking and screaming, out behind the hangar just before the shooting started. No one but Roy saw me. Roy had been a mentor…had been like a father to me for years…and, the whole time, he knew everything but never told me any of it. I had trouble coming to terms with that, but I couldn't just turn off caring about him."

"So you hid his involvement?"

"We didn't want his family to know. They had enough to deal with. He was a good man, a good cop for all of his career…except for the time he made the rookie mistake of trusting the wrong people…and having to protect his family from them.

"Noble reasons, but we have to consider all the facts, not just the ones we choose."

"Yes, sir," Beckett answered sadly.

"Roy and his family were good friends of mine for a long time. I don't want his name dragged through the mud any more than you do, but if there's anything else I need to know, you need to be sure you haven't left it out in the name of good intentions, understand?"

"Anything else we find or think of, we'll tell you," Beckett promised.

"Does knowing all this bring you closer to understanding Beckett's state of mind yesterday?" Castle asked her.

Gates turned, speaking directly to Kate. "It's disappointing that you didn't feel you could come to me; but knowing all this, I can understand why you didn't trust anyone but your team. It leaves me in a bad place, though. I haven't filed the papers yet. The suspensions will have to stand; I can't ignore them."

"Them?" Beckett asked.

"If you want to rescind your resignation," Gates said matter of factly. "If we can find a way to work on this mess without getting any of us killed, we can eventually call it undercover work and have the suspensions expunged from your records. Since it requires rewriting your paperwork, if you want to re-think that resignation, I'll need to know now. I can't wait longer than tomorrow to send it in, or it won't look kosher. You can resign later if you decide that's what you want, but once a resignation is on record, it gets more difficult to change your mind. I'll find a way to speak to Ryan and Esposito under the radar. Having two of you on suspension is going to put the twelfth at a disadvantage. We also lose your shadow here; and, as much as I hate to admit it, he's become a valuable asset. Ryan will have to work with someone else's team in the meantime. I'm sure they'll find him to be a valuable asset as well. The suspensions will be two weeks for Esposito and a month for you.

"Turn it in as a suspension," Beckett requested. "I have some things to work out before I decide about the resignation."

"Do those things involve your partner?"

Kate looked at Rick questioningly.

"Come on, Detective. You've given me this much. Don't hold out on anything else now. I need to know where things stand with my staff."

"Yes." Kate answered.

"I love her," Castle admitted. "If that means I can't come back to the precinct, so be it. Kate doesn't ever have to work again if she doesn't want to; but if she does, I don't want to be the reason she has to give up something she's spent years building."

"I need him working with me, Captain. He does his best to keep me grounded. He's one of the few people in my life that I know I can trust completely. He didn't just arbitrarily give up on me a couple of days ago. He did everything he knew how to do, but I might as well have shoved him under a bus and walked away…and, in spite of that, he's here backing me up. I love him, too; and I won't give that up."

"I suspected as much. I've observed you since I got here. That was half of my problem with having Mr. Castle work with you. I saw it before I ever spoke to you. I was there at Roy's funeral when your partner tried to get you out of the way of that bullet. The way he held you where you fell looked like more than just a partner. No matter what Roy said, I still believed that would be a problem. How long has this been going on?"

"First, for the record, he was the only one there who realized what was about to happen. The place was full of cops, and Castle was the one who saw that there was a shooter. If he hadn't called my name…if I hadn't changed positions just slightly when I heard it, I'd probably be dead. He's worth any amount of faith you can have in him. As for the rest…I finally came to my senses last night," Kate told her. "Now I have to regain _his_ trust."

"Well, it's high time, then. Maybe working it out will clear some of the tension in the air. At least I have the length of the suspension to figure out how to handle that particular problem. You two are very high maintenance, you know. If your team's solve rate weren't so high, I'd gladly pack you off elsewhere and let somebody else worry about you." She sighed, looked resigned, and continued. "Now back to the bigger problem. You're going to have to relinquish control of both cases and trust me to work with people I know I can rely on. I don't see how I can run this kind of investigation alone. I need time to decide how to go about it, and I obviously can't have either of you working on it. I have no use for dirty cops…or any other kind of dirty government officials, and I want to see this cleaned up, too."

"Be careful who you trust. We don't have enough to know how big this can of worms might be. You could be in danger, too," Castle pointed out. "As much as we annoyed each other at the beginning, Captain, I have a lot of respect for you. We don't want to lose anybody else."

"Can you at least keep us in the loop if something new comes up?" Kate asked. "There could be something where we'd see a connection nobody else would see. We've both been at this a while. Castle and I have the evidence pretty well memorized, my team has all the particulars of the cases connected, and Castle's perspective isn't always the same as ours."

"So I've noticed," Gates said drily.

With the hint of a smirky smile, Kate explained, "What I meant is that he has a wealth of information from research…things we don't always see…never had reason to. He has the instincts of a cop with the perspective of an outsider…but, point taken,"

"I'm still here in the room," Castle reminded them pointedly, and both women smiled before settling back to business.

"I'll keep you informed, but if my office was bugged, we can bet other parts of the precinct are, too. We'll have to be careful."

"Captain, I know you like to do things by the book, but there isn't much 'by the book' about this. When you're ready to research things, if you need equipment that doesn't have to go through the department, I have the means to provide it…and the connections to get it…off the grid…without doing anything illegal. Whatever you need, it's yours. Just let me know."

"That's very generous of you, Mr. Castle. Let me have time to make more sense of this before we go there. May I borrow that gadget you used this morning? I suddenly don't know where I can feel free to talk. I didn't expect to leave here tonight feeling paranoid."

"Consider it yours, Captain. I'll get another one. Consider this yours as well." He put a new laptop in front of her. "Something not connected to anyone they'd recognize. I gave someone cash to buy it for me, and he had it delivered it this afternoon."

"Again, very generous of you, and I'll reluctantly agree to take you up on this. I have a family to consider, too."

"Anything, Captain. I want all of us to be safe.

"Thank you. And, Detective, it might not hurt for you to come in tomorrow morning and convincingly talk to my office bug about not intending to pursue the case any further. Hit men don't usually operate that way; but, if you're lucky, Maddox wanted you out of the way because you escaped him twice and you knew his face…and generally became a symbol of two failures for him. Maybe the others will stick with Smith's blackmail."

"I'll be there first thing."

Gates nodded in agreement. "Is there anything else? Should we arrange another meeting now…after I have time to look things over and see what questions I might have, and you have time to think about what you might have forgotten?"

"Day after tomorrow? Seven again?" Castle suggested. "Beckett can come in tomorrow with some suggestions as to where, and you can decide or make your own suggestion. Starting tomorrow, one of the other teachers will be having rehearsals here in the evenings. Too many people around. I guess we're all feeling a little paranoid at this point."

"All right," Gates said as she stood to leave. Turning to Castle, she added, "I don't want my detective alone for a while, Mr. Castle. I assume you can see to that."

"Yesterday morning, I spoke to my publicist and agreed to the book tour she's been bothering me about…two and a half weeks, mostly on the other side of the country. If she'll agree to go, I'll take Kate with me. I leave in three days."

"Not a bad way to spend a suspension, Detective. I'd take him up on it. Sounds like you can come back to work the week after you get back…if you decide that's what you want."

Kate nodded.

"Well, the two of you are full of surprises. I'm not sure whether to be glad you decided to trust me or to be sorry I ever met you, but you've certainly made my job more interesting. You'll be in early tomorrow morning, Detective?"

"Around seven-thirty?"

Gates nodded, picked up the bag with the new laptop, put the other device in her purse, and put her hand on the doorknob to leave.

"Captain," Kate said, and Gates turned back toward her. "Thank you."

"No captain wants to lose her best detective," Gates answered, and then she was gone.

Castle took Kate in his arms, and they both breathed a sigh of relief; then with his arm gently around her shoulders, they went back to his car.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"'Morning, sleepyhead," Kate heard softly from the man lying next to her, who was propped on one elbow and had apparently been watching her sleep.

"Hi," she answered drowsily, snuggling closer to him.

Enjoying that they felt this comfortable together now, Castle wrapped his arms around her before he kissed her gently. "I like this," he said quietly. "For the last two days, the first thing I've seen in the morning is you."

"I'm trying to remember why I put you off for so long before this happened," she mumbled sleepily. "I was such an idiot. It took all of one night to feel like this is how it's supposed to be."

"As much as I hate the idea, if you don't get up and get dressed, you'll be late. Gates will be looking for you at seven-thirty."

"And Alexis and Martha will find me still here."

"When we get back, I'll tell them they should expect to find you here often. They already know I intended to keep you with me last night. I told them I wanted to be the one close enough to take care of you, and they both understood."

"Being with you, in your bed…feels like finding home. The idea of being with them, early in the morning after spending the night with you, feels…awkward."

"They know what's between us, Kate, and how long it's taken us to get here. They're going to be on our side. I've already told them we're working things out. When you're feeling better, Mother may say the same things Alexis did; but it will end the same way. And I'm not leaving you alone in your apartment yet."

"I don't want to be alone in my apartment yet," she admitted quietly.

"That was a big confession for you, wasn't it?"

Kate just nodded against his shoulder.

"Thank you for trusting me with it." He stroked the hair away from her face and kissed her forehead. "Tomorrow morning we can sleep in if we want to. How do you feel now? Any less pain than yesterday?"

"I don't know yet. Haven't tried any big moves. Shower with me…to be sure somebody has my back if I need help washing it?" She had voiced a plan of action, but she wasn't showing any sign of moving from where they were.

"Always," he answered with a grin, enjoying that she didn't seem to want to leave their bed any more than he did. After seeing the extent of her injuries, he had refused to do more than hold her as they slept until her injuries had healed, but he assured her that they'd more than make up for it when she was better.

She angled her face up to be kissed again, and he readily obliged.

"Come on. Let's go check those bruises. I promise I'll wash your back gently…and anything else you want help with."

"What time is it?"

"Time to get up."

She groaned. "Don't want to."

"Tell you what. I'll get the shower started, and you come and join me."

"That means your warm body is leaving me."

"Then you'll have to get up and follow it," he teased as he slipped from under the covers.

She groaned again and eased over on her back to listen for him to get in the shower, moving slowly and testing her muscles gently before sitting up.

He adjusted the water temperature, then called her, and she heard the shower door close; so she dragged herself and her sore, stiff muscles out of the bed and stepped in with him. He was waiting with a lathered washcloth and a mischievous smile. "Where shall I start?" he asked.

She turned her back to him, and he carefully stroked the soapy cloth over it. "The bruises aren't quite as dark this morning. Another day or two, and your back will be lovely, variegated colors."

"That should be quite a turn-on."

"If it bothers either of us, we'll turn off the lights. We managed pretty well in the dark before."

"Yeah, we did," she agreed with a grin as she turned.

She took the cloth from him and turned him around to enjoy returning the back washing favor, soaping up his broad shoulders and solid back…then patted his backside before telling him he was on his own from there.

As she reached to pick up the shampoo, he saw a little wince. "It hurts to reach behind your head, doesn't it?" Seeing Kate nod, he took the shampoo bottle and said, "Let me help." He poured shampoo in his hand and they both enjoyed it as he ran his fingers through her hair and repeated the actions with the conditioner.

"Thank you," she said appreciatively, then with a hint of shyness added, "That was nice."

"Yeah, it was" he admitted. "I've wanted to get my hands in that beautiful hair for a long time. He gave her a flirtatious smile, lathered his own washcloth, and they made short work of the rest of their shower.

After their meeting with Gates the night before, they had stopped at Kate's apartment long enough for her to pack a bag; so she had her own robe now, and her own toiletries, and a couple of days worth of clothes.

While Kate dressed, Castle started the coffee and then dressed quickly so he could go with her to the precinct. He didn't want to leave her alone yet. While the coffee brewed, he dropped bagels in the toaster and took out a couple of spreads to choose from. They had just enough time for that before she needed to leave.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"With you. I promised the captain, remember? Besides, you don't have use of the Crown Vic right now. I'll only walk you to the precinct, then I'll go to the coffee shop and wait for you in the precinct lobby."

"I can't believe I'm not fighting this."

"You just don't want to be without me now," he teased

"No, I don't," she admitted as she pulled him to her for a kiss.

"Wow! No argument?"

"Apparently, I'm a changed woman."

xxxxxx

Castle saw Beckett into the elevator before he left to get coffee. While he was in the coffee shop, he thought he should pick up pastries for the boys, too; then he remembered it would only be Ryan. He'd get something for Ryan, anyway. He owed him way more than a couple of bear claws. Kate would have died if it weren't for him. Jenny would be on the receiving end of the angst that came with this mess, too…maybe something nice for the two of them after things settled down. He owed Ryan big time. While his mind wandered, the barista called his name, and he paid for his purchases and walked slowly back to the precinct. He had told Kate he'd wait for her in the lobby, but he needed to talk to Ryan face to face; so he braved her displeasure and took the elevator to their floor. With any luck, Beckett was already talking to Gates and wouldn't notice. He could speak to Kevin and escape to the lobby before either woman noticed.

xxxxx

Beckett was at Captain Gates' door at seven thirty-three. The captain put on her best annoyed scowl and asked, "What brings you back here, Miss Beckett?" It had to be a good show for their audio audience and anyone among the small staff who had been there overnight and might be watching. She motioned Kate in, and Kate closed the door behind her.

"I know how angry you are; and, in retrospect, I know you have every right to be. If you haven't filed the paperwork for my resignation yet, I'd like to stay. You have my apology and my assurance that it won't happen again. Castle did everything he could to stop me, but I shoved past him and left him in my dust."

"Roy Montgomery was my friend. We talked about our jobs now and then. According to Roy's notes, this has happened before when it involved your mother's death…your obsession with it. I believe he referred to it as falling down the rabbit hole. Why should I believe it won't happen again?"

"The afternoon you and Ryan found me was the dose of reality that finally brought me to my senses. After I was shot, I fought hard to recover, and it took months of hard work. I don't want to die, and my mother wouldn't have wanted to be the reason I did. Basically that covers it."

"If you don't want to die, there are other jobs that give you a better chance."

"I know that possibility goes with the job, but I won't be going on any more suicide missions. Castle talked through it with me…but he let me come to my own conclusions. I was no match for Maddox, and I'm no match for the man at the top, whoever he is. Do what you can about the case, but I promise to bow out."

"And why should I reconsider the resignation?"

"I'm good at my job, and I run a very effective team. When I left here, I had been enticingly close to catching a man who could tell me who had my mother killed. I had to watch him walk away because he left me hanging from the side of a tall building about to drop to my death. I wasn't in the frame of mind to be allowed to make life-changing decisions. If it isn't too late, I'd appreciate it if you could file the original suspension instead."

"You can really give up investigating your mother's murder…investigating the man who put a hit out on you?"

"I was dangling from that building, a fraction of an inch from being broken and dead on the pavement, because I was stupid enough to think I could actually find the man who ordered the hits on my mother and me. There have been too many deaths, including Roy's…followed by evidence that led to dead end after dead end. Two near death experiences at our mystery man's hands in the same year…it's finally convinced me that if I'm going to have a life, I have to stop. I visited the cemetery after I left here and made peace with my mom; and I've had a day or two to consider what I want in my life. To have that, I have to be alive."

"Your partner was in here yesterday morning to advocate for you. That's the only reason I held the paperwork until today. I'll file a suspension because I hate to waste a good detective. You'll see the department psychologist again during your suspension. After what you've been through, you'll need to be cleared to return to work. And when you're back, you'll see what you can do about settling the bad feelings between your other two team members. Since he seems to have the good sense to try to keep you in your right mind, your shadow can return when you do. But, Beckett, if I see any sign of rabbit holes or withholding information from me, I won't wait for you to resign. You'll be gone on the spot. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Make an appointment with Dr. Burke when you leave here. Esposito is suspended for two weeks. Your suspension will be a month. You led your team astray, and I can't have that from a lead detective. You're lucky I haven't put someone else in charge of your team. I want you at the top of your game when you return…working by the book. Anything that looks even vaguely like a connection to your mother's case is to be brought directly to me and will be assigned to another team."

"Understood, Sir." She slipped a note on the captain's desk with several possible meeting places for the next night.

"You've left us short-handed. Let me get back to work, now, and I don't expect to see you at the precinct again until your suspension is over." Gates looked down at her files, pulled the note to her, circled her choice of location and pushed it back, never looking up.

Kate took the note, folded it and palmed it, and said "Thank you, Captain."

In response, there was a non-descript noise from the captain as she kept her eyes on the files on her desk, and Kate turned to went to speak to Ryan before she left, and found Castle with him in the break room, just leaving him with a handshake and the look of a serious conversation.

"Busted. You couldn't just wait in the lobby, could you?" she asked, surprising Castle with a tone that sounded more amused than annoyed.

"I needed to thank Ryan."

"I need to thank Ryan, too. Javi and I are both lucky that you did what we should have done in the first place. Don't second guess yourself, Kev. You did the right thing. Thank you."

Ryan looked relieved. Two reassurances in the same morning. All that was left now was to get Esposito back on board. When Kate hugged him, he held her longer than he usually would, remembering how close they came to losing someone who felt like one of his sisters. He'd had nightmares both nights since then. Castle looked down, giving the two old friends that healing moment.

When they separated, Castle picked up the box with the bear claws and handed it to Beckett along with her coffee, then picked up his own cup.

Ryan shook his hand and said, "Thanks…both of you. When will you be back?"

"A month for me…which includes Castle. Two weeks for Esposito."

"Think he'll ever speak to me again?"

"I talked to him yesterday. He'll come around." Beckett assured him. "Maybe two weeks will give him time to see the light. I'm just hoping he'll still be talking to _me_ after two weeks. I'm the one who created this mess…got him suspended. It isn't going to happen again. If you see anything about either my case or my mother's, don't clear it with me. Take everything you've got straight to the captain. I have to be done with it. Understand?" She put the box down and took his hand briefly as she thanked him again and apologized for putting him in the position he was in, and he felt her leave a small piece of paper in the palm of his hand.

Looking down at it as he picked up the plate with his bear claws, he saw that it was a phone number that he didn't recognize. "I understand…and seriously…thanks, guys," Ryan said again as they walked into the elevator.

"Call later if you want to."

"I will," he answered, giving them a little wave. Then he picked up the bear claws Castle had left for him, smiled, and went back to his work with his heart a little lighter, the phone number in his pocket, and his curiosity running rampant.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

In the car on the way back to Castle's loft, he asked Kate, "Will you go with me for the book signing tour?"

"I don't know, Castle. You don't think that's a little too much when we're just getting together?"

"It should give us a good look at how it could work out. If you want, I'll tell Paula to book two bedroom suites. That way, if I get on your nerves, you can have your own room and close me out…or send me to mine."

She smiled. "You'd let me send you to your room?"

"As long as you don't want to sleep without me. I really like waking up with you."

"I really like waking up with you, too." She reached out and rested her hand on his thigh, and he glanced over at her, smiling, as he drove.

"Can you give me some time to think while we're gone? I need to sort some things out…figure out what I need to do from here."

At his look of concern, she assured him, "Not about us. I want us to work as much as you do. But I need to figure out everything around us. Not being with you isn't an option for me anymore."

"Then we should last a couple of weeks without falling apart."

"I do like bookstores."

Without a word, he laid his hand, palm up on the console between them and wiggled his fingers. She took her hand from his leg and put her palm on his, lacing their fingers together, and he squeezed her hand gently.

"There should be a lot of time for you to contemplate. I'm scheduled for a few talk shows and a lot of book signings. You can come with me if you want…just browse the bookstore or find a place to sit and read until it's over. It would be great to have you sign them with me, but it might be better to keep you low profile until we see what happens with Smith's efforts. I've hired security for home, and I'll get someone for us, too, so if you want to stay at the hotel, we'd be covered…people I've worked with before and know I can trust. I won't cross Gates orders to look out for you. After the way we started, hearing her give me even minimal credit for being an asset is not to be damaged. And…"

"Do you always plan so many details?"

"I can't help it. I think of all the 'what if's', and then I have to think about solving them."

"How that mind of yours works fascinates me. Sometimes I almost think I can hear the gears turning."

"My mother used to say she could smell the sawdust burning."

Kate grinned. "I can hear Martha saying that."

"I'd hate to face Paula's wrath if I cancelled, and I'd hate to have to tell Gates I left you alone. Either way, if you go with me, you'd be saving me from a bad place. And I _so_ don't want to go to bed without you now."

"You won't have to."

"So, it's settled? You'll come with me?"

"Yeah."

He flashed her his heart melting smile, and this time she squeezed his hand in response.

"Since you're going on the trip with me, shall we stop at your apartment and pack a suitcase before the pain medicine wears off? We leave day after tomorrow. You aren't likely to feel any more like packing tomorrow than you do today, and we're not far from your apartment."

"Might as well."

Castle maneuvered the car into the next lane and drove to Kate's building. After pulling in next to the curb, he helped her out of the car, and they went up to her apartment.

"Tell me where to find your suitcase, and I'll get it for you," he volunteered. "I can pack it, too, if you'll tell me what you want. I know you still hurt."

"It's in the bedroom closet, in the back on the right," she told him as she dropped her keys and purse on the table next to the door."

When she got to her bedroom, Castle had the suitcase out and was opening it flat on the foot of the bed. "Do you need the overnight bag, too?"

"Probably."

He went back to pick that up for her.

"I miss my gun," she said suddenly.

"Am I in trouble?" he asked, putting the overnight bag on the bed. "I don't remember doing anything wrong."

Kate smiled at the look on his face. "No, goofball. When I come home, I usually put the gun and badge away before I do anything else. The routine feels wrong. That's all. And my hip feels naked without it."

"You had me worried for a minute," he said, looking both amused and relieved, then wrapped his arms around her gently and kissed her. "And I like it when your hip is naked," he teased. Still holding her he asked, "Do you want some help packing?"

"I think I can manage," she answered. "Would you get a bag from the cabinet and get rid of anything in the fridge that might not live for two weeks? I wouldn't want to come home to that. I needed groceries when this happened, so there shouldn't be too much in there."

"I can do that. Anything else you need to take care of…newspapers, mail delivery?"

"Just the mail. I'll call building security and ask them to hold it for me."

Castle took care of his job and went back to see how Kate was faring.

"Are you doing okay? Need help with anything? Just take enough for a week. When you're feeling better, I want to take you shopping…buy you some things that make you feel good."

"You're not buying me a new wardrobe. You can buy me a few books so I have something to do while I get better."

"We can argue about that later," he answered, obviously not giving up on the idea. "Are we ready to go?"

"Almost. Let me find a couple of scarves and sleeveless turtle necks. I don't want people to be staring at the bruises on my neck. I'm not up to answering all the questions."

She gathered the few more things she was looking for and Castle gently moved her out of the way while he closed the suitcase and took it to the front door. He left it there and went back to get the bag he had used to empty the refrigerator and the trash cans.

"You get your purse and keys and the door. I've got the rest."

"I can take the suitcase, Castle. I can pull it."

"You're actually letting me take care of you. I'm going to do that while I can 'cause I know it won't last long. Now, open the door."

"Yes, sir."

She followed him through the doorway and locked up, and they took the elevator to the lobby, where she obligingly showed him where to take the trash bag when he asked, then she waited in the lobby for him to return and take charge of the luggage again.

When they reached the car, he opened her door for her then went to put the luggage in the trunk. She turned toward him as he got in on his side. "I do appreciate that you want to take care of me, Castle. I just haven't let anyone take care of me for so long… I don't handle it well. So, thank you…before I forget to say it."

"Always," he answered, looking at her lovingly, and then he started the car. He turned to her before pulling the car out into traffic. "Tell you what. You try to let me take care of you until you're better, and I'll try not to smother you with it. We'll see if we can find a balance."

"Deal," she answered.

xxxxx

When they got home, Martha had left to check on things at her school, and they could hear music from Alexis' room, indicating she was home.

Castle deposited Kate's luggage in his closet, brought a pillow from the bed and dropped it on the sofa, then got Martha's big ice pack out of the freezer. Putting it in its cover, he said, "It seemed to help yesterday. Lie down on it for a while."

As much as she wanted to protest being told what to do, the thought of the cold on the aches and bruises was appealing; so she sat on the couch, toed off her shoes, and carefully swung her legs up on it. At the same time, Castle sat at the other end of the sofa and lifted her legs gently over his.

"Is this okay?" he asked, stroking his hands up and down her shins and over the tops of her feet. "If it isn't comfortable for you, I'll move."

"It's good, Castle. Are you always this touchy/feely?" she asked, but she was smiling so he wouldn't worry.

"I think I'm still afraid I'll wake up and find out I've dreamed the last couple of days. I love touching you…can't get enough of it. Am I smothering you with that?"

"Not yet. I kind of like it, too." She started to say something else, but Alexis had started down the stairs.

"Hi. I thought I heard you come in." Seeing her stretched out on the couch, Alexis asked, "Are you okay, Kate?"

"Ice pack," her dad explained.

"Can I get you anything else?" Alexis still seemed concerned. It wasn't like Kate to give in that way.

"No. I'm good," Kate answered.

"Are you going to stay with Grams and me while Dad is on his book tour? We'll take good care of you, I promise; and it would be nice to have you here. You should be all better when he gets back."

Kate was quiet, deferring to Castle as to how to handle that question.

"I'm taking Kate with me, Honey. Mother will be back at the school the first of next week, and you promised Lanie to be back at your internship until the end of June. I need to be able to see for myself that she's okay, and there are things we need to work out between us. Having some time, even with the kind of schedule I have on those book tours…"

"It's okay, Dad. I understand."

"I…" He looked down at Kate and held her gaze for a second before looking back up at Alexis. "We…want this to work; we want to get this right…and we have to build some understandings to get there. This gives us some time…"

Alexis smiled softly as she saw Kate's hand reach for her father's and Castle reach out to take it. "I really do understand, Dad. You don't need to justify it. I want to see you get this right, too. Did you already call Paula? She's going to be so excited about making changes in her plans."

Castle winced. Easing himself out from under Kate's legs, he told the two women, "I'd better call her now. She won't have to change very much, but that won't save me from a royal dressing down."

"Just remember, she works for _you_," Alexis reminded him.

"What would I do without you? Good to be reminded of that before I call."

Castle went into his study and closed the door to make his phone call, and Kate talked to Alexis about her plans for the summer after leaving her internship with Lanie.

Castle was in his office for longer than he expected. By the time he came out, Alexis had helped Kate move the ice pack to the most painful shoulder and side for a while, and it was time for another pain pill.

"Thanks, Alexis. I'm sorry to be so much trouble." Kate told her.

"It doesn't feel like any trouble. Genetic, remember?" she said with a grin. "I'll bring you some water to take your pill."

"I don't usually take these things. I don't know why I'm taking them now."

"Because you probably forget them or think you're too tough when you're alone," Castle answered. "This time, you're getting the full Castle care package. Come on. Take your medicine, then try to get some sleep…recover from doing too much this morning."

Kate sat up and took her glass of water with her to the bedroom to get her pain meds.

Alexis went back to the kitchen, looking wistful, and Castle noticed. "What's wrong, Pumpkin?" he asked, putting one arm around her shoulders.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm really happy for you and Kate. It just happened so fast. It's been there for a long time, but now it looks real, and I might be a little jealous. Not enough to worry about, but a little bit. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry. When another man gets to be that important to my little girl, I'm planning to be way more than a _little_ jealous."

"I've known for a long time that you love her; but that was back when you didn't have her. Now she's stopped running and let you catch her, and it's real. It feels different to watch it happen. You really love her. It isn't like Mother or Gina, is it?"

"Not even close."

"Why did you marry them?"

"The wrong reasons, obviously. When I married your mother, I had visions of a family. I guess I thought she did, too; but I was wrong. I thought Gina and I would learn to love each other, and that you'd have a woman to turn to as you got older and needed someone to talk to. It was what I thought worked at the time. It wasn't like this, though. I love Kate almost as much as I love you."

"Dad, you need her, too, not just me. It's all right if you love her as much as you love me. Just try not to love her more…okay?"

"I could never love anybody more than I love you," he assured his daughter and pulled her into a strong, fatherly hug.

"And I'd never want him to," Kate added from behind him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be eavesdropping…just brought the glass back and couldn't help hearing. Alexis, I'll never try to come between you and your father. Being such a good dad is one of the things I respect most about him, and I'd never try to sabotage something that important."

"I believe you," Alexis answered. "Just take good care of him. He can be a pain, but when he loves you…"

"I know," Kate answered, looking up at him. "I'm gonna go lie down now. I promise not to sneak up on you again."

"Go tuck her in," Alexis told her father. "You know you want to."

"You're as close to a perfect child as it gets," he told Alexis, kissing her forehead. "Find a game. We'll play while Kate gets some rest." Then he followed Kate to the bedroom, kissed her, and pulled the covers up around her shoulders after she was in the bed.

She snuggled down into the soft sheets after he left and smiled to herself. It was completely out of character for her to allow such a thing; but something in her had changed after the incident on the rooftop, and she liked the openness that came with it. She knew as well as Castle did that when she was feeling better, she would probably again rebel at such things as being, for all practical purposes, tucked in like a child. But, for the moment, the full Castle care package felt nice; and she could let herself relax and allow both of them to enjoy it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The rest of the day was more relaxed than the morning had been. Kate's responsibilities for the trip were covered. She had packed her suitcase. That was all Castle needed her to do. He let her sleep all afternoon, spent some time with Alexis, and then made some phone calls to confirm or finalize plans for the trip. They watched a movie with Alexis and Martha after dinner and talked with them a while before everyone went to bed.

"Here. You'll sleep better." He told her as he handed her the prescription bottle. "Do you need anything else before the pain meds knock you out again?" he asked as they got ready for bed.

"I don't think so. I even brought a glass of water so I can take the drug the three of you keep pushing at me. All I need is you."

"Not a problem," he answered. Then he got in bed and added with a mischievous smile, "The kid glove treatment to help until the meds kick in is waiting under the covers."

"Mmmm… My favorite part. When does it start?"

"As soon as you're close enough."

After swallowing the pill, she sat on the side of the bed and put the glass on the bedside table, then she moved her stiff sore limbs carefully under the covers. Moving closer to her, he let her snuggle against him until she found a comfortable position before he rested his arm across her waist and stroked her back where he didn't think he remembered seeing injuries. "Tell me if I make anything hurt, okay?"

"It's okay to touch me…gently. When it's you, it's still relaxing."

He tenderly stroked his hand over her back and across her hip, soothing and relaxing both of them, and she caressed his side and planted small occasional kisses on his chest where she was cuddled against him.

"I owe you lots of attention when I'm better…back rub, massage, breakfast in bed…other stuff," she said suggestively. "I can't wait to be better."

"Don't rush it. Just give yourself time to heal…because, after that, I may not let you sleep for days."

She chuckled softly. "The sooner, the better."

"We can sleep in tomorrow morning if we want. I need to pack and organize a few things before I leave; but everything can be done from here, except the meeting with Gates. The next day we need to be up early again."

"I've been thinking. Maybe we should have Ryan and Esposito meet with us, too. They should know what's going on. They may have something to add…and Gates was worried about how the suspensions will affect the team. Maybe it would help focus them back on working together. Do they know about Smith?

"No. I hadn't told anybody…except Mother. She doesn't give up easily when she knows something is bothering me.

"I'm sorry I've put you both through so much."

"Shhhh…. We're going to put our efforts into the future from now on.

"Okay."

"Simple as that, now?"

"Yeah. I love you. You're my future…as long as you can stand me. After all this time, you know you're probably in for times when I may not make it easy."

"And you know you're in for times when I drive you insane."

"But it's been four years, and I can't imagine living without your particular brand of insanity anymore.

"And I can't imagine living without your bull-headed charm, so we're even?"

He could feel her mouth curve into a smile against his chest and took that as a yes; and she could feel his smile against her forehead just before he kissed her there. Then in quiet agreement, they drifted off to sleep.

xxxxx

Rick and Kate were standing in his study with his check list of what needed to be done before they left for the west coast the next day when Castle's new burner phone rang. He had hoped it was Smith, but it was Ryan finally checking in. Castle put it on speaker, and he and Kate explained about turning the case over to Gates and asked if he wanted to meet with them the next night. He agreed to be there, and they hung up.

"Have you called your father yet?" Castle asked Kate matter of factly.

"No," she admitted. "What can I tell him that won't worry him?"

"That you'll be out of town for almost three weeks? It would make him feel better to know where you are."

"I guess I didn't want to tell him I've given up on Mom's case. He called and we talked about Maddox…before we knew much about him. I know he'll ask, and I hate to disappoint him."

"You won't disappoint him, Kate. And you haven't given up. We're just passing it on so he doesn't lose you, too. He came to see me just before Roy was shot, and we talked for a while."

"He what? Why?"

"He seemed to think I could influence you to stop. He could see you were losing control, and he asked me to talk to you. That's what pushed me to ask you to drop it…but it turned into a big argument, and…"

"And I kicked you out. Rick, I'm…"

He put his fingers over her lips to stop her words. "It's history. We don't need to worry about it now."

"He really came here and asked you to get me to stop?"

"He's your father. He was worried about you. Think about it being Alexis in the same position. You know how I'd feel. Call your dad. If you tell him nothing and he finds out accidentally, he'll be twice as worried."

"Yeah. You're right." She reluctantly picked up her phone and walked into the living room, bringing up her dad's number as she moved.

From his study, Rick went back to his checklist, smiling as he heard "Hi, Dad." from the living room. He could hear Kate talking softly to her father for a few minutes, then she reappeared at the doorway to the study saying, "He wants to talk to you."

"Hey, Jim. How's it going?"

"I hear you're taking good care of my Katie."

"I'm doing my best."

"And I appreciate it…more than I can tell you." He stopped for a moment of thoughtful silence. "She said the two of you are leaving tomorrow. Do you have time for me to stop by to see her tonight…about seven? I won't stay long, but I'd like to see for myself that she's okay."

"We promised to see someone at seven. Can you be here about five?"

"I can leave work a little early. Thanks, Rick."

"Not a problem. We'll be looking for you at five."

"Thanks. See you tonight."

"He's coming here?" Kate asked, sounding concerned.

"He wanted to see you before we left. It's a dad thing. He needs to see that you're okay…or at least that you're going to be."

"Okay," she sighed. "The two of you are on a first name basis, huh? Must have been a good talk"

"We talked at the hospital, too. Maybe we got along well because we both love you so much."

"Just don't gang up on me when he gets here."

"I promise." He smiled and kissed her cheek on the way to his desk. "I need to make a few phone calls before we leave. I won't be long."

"I'll find us something for lunch."

"Sounds good." He didn't dare voice the thought that he liked the domestic feeling of being at his desk arranging the trip while she put lunch together in the kitchen. They would likely never entirely be that sort of domestic couple…but moments like this now and then would be nice.

xxxxx

Alexis was home early that afternoon. She had a doctor's appointment, the standard physical that would be submitted to Columbia before she started classes in the fall; and she came home to shower and change before the unusually late afternoon appointment. Having a little time to spare, Alexis unwittingly interrupted Castle and Beckett's discussion of what else they needed to tell Gates that night as she called out to see if they were in the study. Hearing an answer, she went in to talk to them until it was time to leave.

When she opened the door and started out, she nearly ran into Jim Beckett, who was close enough to the door to be raising his hand to knock.

"Hi," he said with an amused smile. "I'm Jim Beckett, Katie's father."

"I remember…from the hospital. Sorry, I have to leave for an appointment. Are they expecting you?"

"Yes, but I'm a little early."

"Then just go on in. They're in Dad's study. First door on your right."

"Good to see you again, Alexis."

"Good to see you, too. Bye."

Alexis went down the hall and pushed the button for the elevator while Jim let himself in and closed the door. As soon as the door closed, their prior conversation already had Castle and Beckett's attention.

"If I had just kept my curiosity out of your business, none of this would be necessary," Castle told her. "You wouldn't have had to recover from bruises and bullet wounds and…"

"Stop it, Castle. Raglan came to us, remember? That pushed me to want to know more. Before that…Coonan would still have happened without you. Lanie would still have seen the connection. I told you it took a year of therapy to drag myself away from Mom's case the first time. When Roy called me into his office and asked if I could handle working on it again, I told him I couldn't…and I walked away. I left it. I was going to let somebody else handle it."

"But I had planted the seed again, and you went back to it. You came to me..."

"And you said you'd do anything I needed, including nothing, if that's what I wanted. I dragged _you_ into it, Rick. It honestly wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it was mine," they both heard Jim Beckett say from the doorway. "Sorry, kids. I couldn't help but overhear. Alexis let me in as she was leaving…told me where to find you. Katie, I'm so sorry."

"Dad…"

"No," he answered with a hand palm out toward his daughter in a very dad-like fashion. "From all I can tell, this is one of the best men I've ever met. He doesn't deserve to carry around this kind of baggage. It's my doing, Rick. It was done mostly out of ignorance, but it's still my doing. For too long after Johanna was killed, I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't know until right now that it took Katie a year of therapy to get herself straight. I didn't know she had walked away from the case after Coonan's brother was killed.

"Daddy…"

"Hush, Honey. He needs to know this. Katie called me to let me know what Lanie had found after Jack Coonan's autopsy. She was upset, and I met her at a diner to talk. She admitted she knew enough to scare her, and I still sat there in that diner and reminded her of what her mother called Johanna's Immutable Law of the Universe…that life never gives us more than we can handle." His eyes looked misty as he started to explain further, obviously disgusted with himself. "I sat there and smoothly told her that if her mother were here she would tell her that the truth couldn't hurt her…that the truth was still her weapon to wield, not theirs. God help me, I gave her the pep talk that pushed her right back into her mother's case. I might as well have shoved her in front of that bullet you tried so hard to save her from. Whatever happened this time, I might as well have shoved her into that, too. She's right, Rick. It wasn't your fault, and it's time you stop taking the all the blame. It looks like most of it sits right here with me."

By then, Kate had gone to put her arms around her father, burrowing her head against his shoulder; and Jim was telling Rick the last of it from over Kate's head as he held his daughter close.

Rick was torn. He wasn't ready to give up on his guilt, and he had rarely seen Kate exhibit the raw emotion he had witnessed in the past two days. He wanted to hold her and comfort her himself, but he recognized what the admission he had just heard had cost both Kate and her father; and he couldn't imagine the pain Jim must be feeling.

"I'll give the two of you some time to yourselves." He touched their shoulders and squeezed gently, offering his support to both of them and turned to leave, but Jim stopped him.

"You don't need to go, Rick. It's all been said now. If I had known any of this, I would have taken that burden from you last summer. There isn't much else I can do except apologize to both of you. I have her past, but I think you're doing a fine job of taking care of her future. You need to know that I trust you with my little girl. I can see that she's safe with you." He grabbed a handful of Kate's hair and gently yanked her head back and forth playfully. "Knowing my girl, though, I'm pretty sure you have your work cut out for you."

Kate poked him in the ribs, and all three of them smiled slightly watery smiles.

"I love you, Dad," Kate told her father softly.

"I love you, too, Honey," he whispered raggedly, "I'm so sorry I pushed you into all this." Taking a deep breath, he squeezed her tighter.

Rick could see enough of her face to know that Kate was working hard to suppress a hiss of pain. Her dad's hand was on one of the deep bruises at the top of her shoulder…and he was squeezing it hard. Rick couldn't help himself.

"One of the worst bruises is on that shoulder, Jim."

Mr. Beckett let go of her shoulder as if it had suddenly become explosive. "Where else are you hurt, Katie?"

"A lot of everything from my knees up," she answered. "I wouldn't tell you that and worry you, but Castle would probably rat me out."

"Good. I knew there must be a reason I like him. How bad is it, Rick?"

"Pretty bad. She's in pain, bruises and abrasions, some pretty bad bruises, ribs…but this time, no stitches and no scars, nothing broken. No permanent damage. She was lucky it wasn't a lot worse."

"Can I tell you the rest when we get back, Dad…when I don't have to remember it and hurt all at the same time?"

"You promise you'll see me when you get back…before you go back to work?"

"I promise."

"Bring Rick, so I'll have somebody to rat on you if you start leaving things out." He pulled her hair teasingly, and all of them smiled. He released his hold on her and took a step back. "In spite of everything, you look more relaxed…maybe even happier than I've seen you in a lot of years.

"I am. I just need time to get better so I can enjoy it. It's been a little easier today."

"Well, you have someone to see in a little while. I need to let you go." He pointed his finger at his daughter. "After you get back…before you go back to work."

"I promise," she assured him.

He walked toward the front door, and the two younger people accompanied him. After giving his daughter another hug, he kissed her forehead and let her go. Surprising both of them, he gave Rick a quick, fatherly hug and told him, "Thank you…for everything." With a little pat on the arm and the slightest hint of a teasing smile, he added, "I won't even ask how you know where her bruises are."

"And I won't try to answer. I've never been fond of the taste of shoe leather, and I'm sure that's where any answer would go. I'll simply assure you that my family and I are respectfully looking after her. They care about her, too."

Trying to avoid making anybody uncomfortable, especially after Jim's last remark, Castle intentionally didn't reach to put his arm around her shoulders; but Kate came to him and put her arm around his waist, leaning against him for her father to see, so Castle moved his arm around her shoulders, accompanying the movement with a look of love her father couldn't miss.

"Enjoy your trip…both of you." Jim said, looking back and forth between them. He turned his gaze to Castle. "Take care of her, Rick. She's the most valuable thing left in my life."

"I understand."

"I know you do." He reached over and took his daughter's hand briefly, squeezing it gently and kissing it softly, not knowing if it hurt for some unknown reason, too. "Bye, Katie."

"Bye, Dad." She squeezed his hand in return before he opened the door and let himself out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

When her father left, Rick took Kate's hand, led her to the kitchen, and got each of them a glass of wine; and they sat close together at the dining table to enjoy it.

"That was hard for your dad…hard for both of you, I'd imagine."

"Yeah, it was. I hadn't admitted it to myself entirely, either; but I knew it wasn't your fault. I was angry when you looked into Mom's death after I asked you not to. You shouldn't have done that, but I never blamed you for any more than that…not once." She took a sip of her wine and looked down. "Do you believe me now?"

"It really wasn't all because of me?"

"It really wasn't. He told you the truth. That's what happened right before I came here and asked for your help. Lanie told me the other medical examiner had already looked at the murders that happened around the same time as my mother's, so when she approached him with Jack Coonan's wounds, he immediately saw the connections. It might have taken a little longer if you hadn't already had someone look at it, but Lanie said he's very thorough. All that would have eventually happened without you, too. You said you'd met him. Is he the one you talked to?"

"I had worked with him on research for my books. He has a reputation for being the best, so, yeah. That's who I went to. Mother calls him Dr. Death."

"Can we trust him if we need him later?"

"You mean if Gates needs him later?"

"Yeah. That's what I meant." She good-naturedly elbowed his ribs to retaliate for the reminder and immediately wished she'd kept her bruised elbow to herself.

He smiled at her response, then said more seriously, "I think so."

"Never hurts to have some back-up."

Sliding his fingers into her hair just above the nape of her neck, he leaned and kissed her. "Nope. Never hurts."

Everything finally caught up with her, and Kate leaned against Castle and let the tears fall, knowing he would cradle her against him and let her cry. All these tears, especially in someone else's presence, were not normal Beckett behavior; but she knew now that she didn't have to always be strong in front of him…that he would help her through all this and still see her as a strong woman.

A few minutes later, Kate was pulling herself together and wondering when she had turned into someone who was crying every time she turned around. "We need to finish lining up what to tell Gates tonight," she said, wiping her eyes and sniffling, and pulling away to sit up without his support. "I'm sorry I keep crying. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing is wrong with you. A lot of things have happened in the last few days, and it takes a toll. This is me, Kate. You don't need to hide anything, and you don't need apologize for being human enough to need somebody."

"The captain ordered a visit with Dr. Burke while I'm on suspension. I called his office after lunch, and I have an appointment at seven-thirty tomorrow morning. I can take a cab, and you can pick me up there on the way to the airport."

"We can do that."

She started to say something, then stopped, looking uncertain.

"What?" he asked, cupping her cheek with his hand.

"Or you could go with me and we could leave from there."

"Do you want me to go with you?" He seemed pleased and planted a little kiss on her lips before moving his hands back to the table in front of him.

"I'd like you to meet Dr. Burke. Actually, I'd like him to meet you. You've been the topic of conversation often enough, and I think he might be curious."

"If you want me to go with you, I'll put some of the luggage in the car when we leave tonight. That way, I can get the rest down in one trip tomorrow morning. I'll have my driver meet us at Burke's office, drop us off at the airport, and bring the car back here."

"You don't mind?"

"I feel honored to be invited. Until the last couple of days, you haven't exactly shared feelings easily. I like that you're letting me in."

"Okay. We'll both go. You know you don't have to always be strong for me, don't you? We'll take turns having each other's back.

"We usually do."

"At least we've usually managed to do that right," she agreed, putting her hand over his. "We don't have much time," she said, suddenly changing the subject. Let's finish this list for Gates."

"Right. We need to leave in about fifteen minutes."

Digressing for a moment, she placed her hand over his and said, "Rick, thank you. I don't know how I would have managed the last couple of days without you."

xxxxx

Arriving at Gates chosen location, Beckett and Castle parked behind the building and saw that the captain was already there. Castle had arranged use of a small building that belonged to an old, trusted acquaintance, and there would be no security guards or custodians to see or overhear. He unlocked the outside door, turned on the light in the room they would use, and allowed the women in first.

"Do we have an agenda?" Gates turned and asked with no introductions.

Castle had told Kate it was her job and her cases, and he wanted her to handle things her own way; so Kate answered for them. "We spoke to Ryan and Esposito and invited them to be here. They deserve to know what's going on, and they need to get over being angry at one another. If you'd rather meet with them another time, I'll call them now. Otherwise, they should be here in about fifteen minutes. I couldn't call you at the precinct to clear it without attracting unwanted attention."

"I understand. If they can't get along with one another, we'll send them home. Otherwise, they should probably be included. They may or may not have something to add, and it gives me a chance to speak to them without looking for a way around being noticed."

"Good."

"I spent time with the new laptop and transferred your data from the stick. Your murder board is impressive, Mr. Castle. Very thorough and easy to follow."

"Did you find any details we missed last time?"

"Most of the earlier information had already crossed my desk, and I was familiar with it. I added the details you gave me connected to Roy Montgomery and those about the situation with Maddox and Smith. Ryan filled in most of what I didn't know. Kate, you and Esposito will have to take care of anything I may have missed. I'd like you and Mr. Castle to check the new entries for accuracy before we do anything else…see if you have anything to add or correct."

She opened the laptop on the conference table in the room, they all pulled up chairs, and she turned it toward Beckett and Castle with Roy's page open. They read through that information, both of them jotting something on Castle's notepad occasionally. Then they moved to Maddox.

By the time they had finished reading and had made a few adjustments, Esposito was knocking at the outside door; and Ryan arrived a couple of minutes later. An uncomfortable feeling entered the room with them. They were obviously not happy with each other, and stood on opposite sides of the table, arms folded over their chests, refusing to even acknowledge one another.

"If we need you to confer about something to get to the bottom of it, I'll expect you to confer in a civil manner, gentlemen. Otherwise you can ignore each other and pay attention to the rest of us," the captain ordered. "Any arguments and you might as well go home. You won't be doing us any good, and we don't want to be here all night."

Each man mumbled something that could serve as an agreement to her terms.

"What do our other two detectives know about Roy's involvement or Smith?" Gates asked.

"Most of what you have about Roy, and nothing about Smith," Kate answered.

"Who's Smith?" Esposito asked.

"Your turn, Mr. Castle," Gates answered, leaning back in her chair.

"About the time Kate went back to work after the shooting, I got a call from someone identifying himself as Smith. He said Roy had sent him enough information that he could make a deal with the man who ordered the hits…that it would keep Kate alive as long as she wasn't working on anything connected to her mother's case. Long story short, she was obsessing by the time she was back, and I managed to talk her into putting it on the back burner for a while."

"And she didn't know about this?" Ryan inquired in amazement.

"No." Castle wasn't happy about rehashing that sore subject right before he and Kate left town together, but the boys deserved to know what had been going on. At least he knew there would be a therapist available first thing in the morning. Whether he or Kate would need the most help was yet to be determined.

"You didn't tell Beckett? You got a death wish or something?" Esposito snorted in amusement.

"She knows now. She was just recovering from major surgery. I couldn't take the chance they'd come after her again," he barely short of snapped back in his own defense.

"So did you hear from him again after that?" Ryan asked.

"A few more times. During the mayor's case, he gave me a vague hint that allowed us to find the right murderer, who was apparently connected to the people we're looking for. Afterward, I met with Smith in a deserted parking garage, and he said some other things that were also pretty cryptic in the saving Beckett context. After Maddox left Beckett and Esposito at the hotel, he found Smith. Smith sent me a new burner phone and called me on that. He said that when you're dealing with people like these, you need contingency plans…that Maddox met with one of his and isn't a problem now. No further explanation. Smith said Beckett is probably safe for the time being, as long as she leaves her mother's case alone. He's had to move."

Esposito was obviously intrigued. "Do you know where he was before, or who he is? Can he be trusted?"

"We met in New York, so I'm assuming he's here somewhere, but other than that, I know nothing about him. Since he had to move after Maddox found him, I'd guess he isn't on their side. He still has the information Roy sent him, though. That's what Maddox was looking for. He said he also has Maddox's wallet and phone. Basically, the rules are that he calls me, not the other way 'round."

"When I fought with Maddox on the roof, he was way beyond my skills." Beckett observed. "If Smith took him down, how did he do it? How did he have that good a contingency plan? Somebody must be backing him up."

Esposito was still leaning against the wall, arms still folded. He straightened, relaxed into the theorizing, pulled a chair out and sat down, resting his elbow on the table. "When we got to his hotel room, Maddox had the stuff that was taken from Roy's house. There was a photo album on the desk with a picture missing. You think that could be Smith? Looks like Smith was his next stop."

"I'll find a way to ask Roy's wife who it was without alarming her or giving us away," Gates promised. "We'll see what comes of it. Anything else you can tell us about Smith, Mr. Castle?"

"Not much. He's a mysterious man."

"What about the other comments at the parking garage?" Without seeming to realize it, Ryan imitated Esposito's move into working the case, pulling out a chair and sitting across from his partner while watching Castle.

"He said something about a well-placed pawn sometimes being more powerful than a king. No clue who the pawn might be. The mayor? Kate? Me? The captain? I don't know who he meant. He asked me to consider what would happen if the mayor were out of office. In the context I was thinking from at the time, my answer was that I'd probably be kicked out of the precinct; then he asked who would keep Detective Beckett from looking into things that she shouldn't…then added 'keep her out of harm's way.' Judging from that, the recent conversation, and the way he handles business, I think he knows way more than Roy gave him; and I think his involvement is much deeper than just making a deal to keep Kate alive. I'm guessing that's just all he thinks I need to know. But that's just speculation."

"Why did he call you?" Esposito wanted to know.

"Another mystery. Roy called me. Even Beckett's dad talked to me. They had apparently deluded themselves into thinking that I could influence her to leave this case alone. But she was still shot and thrown off the side of a building. I assumed at first that Roy had told him to call me. That may still be the entire explanation.

"Anything else about Roy?" she asked.

"Another detail you won't like," Beckett answered.

"There's not much in this situation I do like. Let's hear it."

"Looking at your notes tonight, I realized that the gun Roy used as a rookie is the one that killed Armen. Roy's wife said she shot the intruder with Roy's old service weapon. Did he bring a weapon home from military service, or was it the one he used as a rookie? If that comes out of ballistics connected to Armen's case, there could be all kinds of trouble."

"Good Lord! It just keeps getting worse," Gates answered in frustration. "I'll ask her about that, too."

"There's a guy in ballistics that I went to school with. I could talk to him…see where they are," Ryan how far back the computer records go?"

"Look into it if you see an opening, Detective. Just be careful about it." Gates answered.

"Anything to add, gentlemen?" Gates asked Ryan and Esposito, looking back and forth between them.

"No," they said almost in unison, each still ignoring the other.

"Anyone have any suggestions as to how to identify the man at the top?"

"The man needs an easier name until then," Ryan grumbled.

"When we interviewed MacAllister, after Raglan's shooting," Castle mentioned, "he told us, 'You woke the dragon.' I'm pretty sure it was just an expression, but…"

"Okay. Until we can do better, he's the dragon," Esposito answered

Without thinking, he and Ryan almost fed the birds, but stubbornly stopped themselves and turned back to look at the others.

"Fine," Gates agreed testily. "Anyone have any suggestions as to how to identify the dragon?"

Everyone was silent for a long moment, then Castle suggested, "Could you do a search for men who rose rapidly to powerful positions. You could hide it by searching a big enough span of years, or cities, or both, that it doesn't rouse suspicion. Maybe something from eighteen or nineteen years ago will turn up."

"Not bad, Bro'," Esposito responded.

"I'll see to it," Gates answered. "None of you are to follow up on any of this. Understand? You're here tonight to complete the information we have so far. Anything beyond this will be a courtesy or a brief consultation. I'm down two detectives and a civilian for a few weeks already. I certainly don't want to lose anybody for longer than that, or heaven forbid, lose them completely."

"What will you do next?" Kate asked.

"I'll update my notes on the board here, start the search, and start considering who I can trust with this mess…besides you. And I'll tell you nothing until I have something new, and substantial. All of you have to be out of the loop for a while. Kate I know this will be hardest for you, but you have to trust me to handle it. We can do this periodically when we have enough new information to make it worthwhile to consult about it, but it's now my case."

"I understand."

Turning to Ryan and Esposito, Gates informed them, "You need to know that Mr. Castle found listening devices in my office and your desks. I think it will probably be to our advantage to leave them where they are and only feed them what we want them to know. I suspect that, when we check, we'll find others; so be careful about saying anything you'd rather not share with the other side."

Standing and closing her laptop, Gates started gathering her things to leave.

"Detective…Mr. Castle, enjoy your trip. Detective Esposito, I'll see you in about two weeks. Detective Ryan, one of Detective Karpowski's team left on emergency family leave this afternoon. You'll fill in until he returns. Thank you…all of you, for your help."

Various versions of 'you're welcome' and 'good-night' sounded from the group, and Captain Gates returned to her car and went home.

"Well that was interesting," Esposito said, looking surprised.

"And you didn't even tell us about Smith? Really, Castle. You didn't trust us, or what?"

"I didn't know what to do with it. It was like my stupid CIA theories coming to life. Burner phones, mysterious phone calls out of the blue, meetings in a deserted place with a man who just kind of disappeared…didn't get close enough for me to get a good look at him. But mostly, I was worried about Kate."

"Okay. I get that." Ryan paused and smiled. "Kate, huh?"

"Yeah. And what's this about a trip? Just the two of you?" Esposito asked, arms folded and grinning.

"And my publicist, and our security guy, and a lot of book signings and a few TV shows…"

"It's okay, Castle. We don't have to hide it from them."

"You look at each other like that and think you can hide it from anybody?" Ryan gloated.

"Okay. Just the two of us when we can work it out that way. Captain's orders, honest to God. She told me she didn't want her detective alone for a while, and I stepped up. Security for her and everything."

"How altruistic of you," Esposito prodded. For two men who weren't speaking to one another, he and Ryan had certainly tag-teamed Castle and Beckett pretty effectively.

"Shut up," Beckett ordered good-naturedly and watched the teasing turn into self-satisfied smirks. "Did you take cabs here? You want a ride home?"

They heard, "Yeah." And "That'd be good." Simultaneously from their two partners.

"Come on. We'll drop you off," Castle told them as he turned off the lights.

They all went to Castle's car, and the boys got in the back seat. They still hadn't said one word directly to each other, but the atmosphere among the four of them was more comfortable than before. It was progress. Things between them would work out before too much longer. They dropped Ryan off first so he could get back to Jenny.

As they pulled away from the curb, Castle looked toward the back seat and asked Esposito with his own smirk, "Your place or Lanie's?"

"Lanie's, smart-ass," he mumbled, trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile; and he heard two chuckles from the front seat. They were even.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Kate and Castle had spent time with Martha and Alexis the night before and said their good-byes then, knowing they would be leaving the loft early, but Alexis surprised them and had breakfast ready when they woke up. She had breakfast with them and then hugged them, kissed her dad good-bye, and went back to bed.

"Do you want help with anything?" Kate asked as Castle juggled the remainder of their luggage, finding a good balance to get it to the parking garage in one trip.

"No. You're not moving anything heavy yet."

"I'm not helpless, just not quite back to normal."

"You're nowhere near back to normal…and already arguing about letting me help for a little longer; but I can see normal stubbornness approaching."

"I told you to expect it."

"And I did." After reorganizing one more time, Castle seemed satisfied, and said, "That should do it. You can get the door and lock up. I'll meet you at the elevator."

Kate rolled her eyes, walked to the door, opened it, and waved him through with a huge flourish, which her muscles immediately made her regret.

"Quite a gesture. A few days here, and my mother is already rubbing off on you," Castle teased as he eased past her, and he heard her chortle as she locked the door.

"Worse things could happen," she responded as she met him at the elevator.

"Ooooo. You really should discuss that thought with Dr. Burke," he answered in mock seriousness, edging into the elevator without putting any of the luggage down.

His answer was a major eye roll in lieu of the backhanded swat across the chest that she knew she'd regret. Then she made a production of putting his keys back…very deep in his pants pocket…as if she needed to find just the right place for them.

"Not fair," he complained. "I don't have a free hand to retaliate."

"I'm sure you can free one up before too long," she answered unrepentantly.

"Evil woman," he whined.

When they reached the parking garage, Kate asked sweetly, "Do you need help getting to those keys, Castle?"

By then he had set the luggage on the pavement and refused her help. "No. The next groping will be mine…when I have two free hands." He found his keys, popped the trunk open and hefted the largest bag into the trunk, reached for the next one and found a place for it, and then gently pushed Kate aside as she leaned, intending to hand him the carry-ons. After he opened the door and Kate was in the car, he insisted on helping her with her seat belt, entertaining himself by being very certain that the seat belt rested properly across her chest. "If I have to see a therapist all hot and bothered, you do, too," he said over his shoulder as he went to get in his side of the car."

xxxxx

When they reached Dr. Burke's office, they were a few minutes early, and his receptionist was just settling at her desk.

"He's ready for you, Ms. Beckett. He said to send you in when you got here."

"Come on, Castle. I can at least introduce you."

The office door was standing open, and they could see Dr. Burke picking up pen and paper from his desk.

"Good morning," Kate called from the door.

"Come in, Kate," the doctor answered as he turned, then registered his surprise at the sight of the man standing at the door with her.

"Dr. Burke, I'd like you to meet Richard Castle. Do you mind if he sits in on some of the session this morning?"

"Not if you want him to, but I might want to spend a few minutes one on one before you leave." He reached to shake hands with Castle. "It's good to meet you, Mr. Castle. I've read most of your books. It would be entertaining to invite you for a few sessions of your own…see where all that murder and mayhem comes from."

Castle had been a little uncomfortable about what to expect, but the doctor's humor put him at ease. "I might not want to know," he responded. "It might mess with the mojo."

Both men smiled easily, and Kate looked more comfortable, too. She sat in one of the roomy chairs, and Castle sat in another close to her, crossing one leg over the other.

"This is quite a surprise, Kate," Dr. Burke observed as he sat down, ready to start their session. "I was under the impression that this visit was ordered because of another close call on the job. To what do we owe the honor of Mr. Castle's visit?"

"Things have changed since the last time we talked. I wanted you to meet Castle…Rick. I've told him he's been the topic of more than one of our conversations."

"You've told him that?" The doctor looked surprised and curious and jotted something down on his notepad. "Would you like to elaborate on why now, after all this time, you've asked him to join us…assuming, of course that you won't mind his hearing your explanation."

"I'm trying to be honest with him. He knows how I feel about him now, and we're trying to make things work between us. Since I apparently haven't scared him off yet, I think we'll have a good chance. He knows me better than anybody else, and he puts up with me anyway."

"That works both ways, by the way," Castle interjected. "She has to put up with a lot, too."

"I know now that I don't need to hide anything from him, and this seemed to be a good place to start."

"This is a major step. I'm impressed."

"Me, too," Kate answered, looking atypically shy about her answer.

"Me, too," Castle added, smiling at her with a look of pride…and he noticed the doctor adding something else to his notes.

"Can you tell me what brought on these insights?"

"The close call that required me to see you before I can go back to work. I nearly died again, and I realized my biggest regret was the things I should have told Castle…and didn't. The last time I had seen him, my behavior was abysmal; and that would have been his last memory of me. When I didn't die…"

"Your moment of clarity?"

"Yes."

"And Mr. Castle is happy with this…new clarity?"

"He is," Castle assured him. "Wholeheartedly."

"Is there any more to your new understandings?"

"That my mother's murder doesn't have to rule my life. It isn't what she would have wanted for me. I've told my captain and the rest of my team that anything even vaguely related to her case is to go straight to the captain for reassignment."

"Do you think you can carry through on that? It's been a major part of your entire adult life."

"It won't be easy, but I'll have help." She gave Castle a look of complete trust, and the doctor's pen was busy again.

"Without your mother's case taking prominence, have you decided what will fill its place?"

"I'm still working on that, but it's going to include Castle. We'll work it out together."

"Mr. Castle, do you have as much confidence that the two of you…"

"I do. In spite of a lot of ups and downs that I suspect you may already know about, we work well together. We both know it won't all be sunshine and roses, but it's well worth the effort."

Dr. Burke gave Rick an assessing look, then simply gave a brief nod before turning his attention back to Kate.

"Since a visit was ordered, I'll need to hear your version of the incident that brought you here and what led up to it. Are you comfortable with Mr. Castle hearing that?"

Kate's response to his question was to launch into her explanation of the situation with Maddox, the issues of who could be trusted, and her stubborn determination that she could take him on alone. She included the argument with Castle, but left out any reference to Smith or anything about him; and Castle didn't add to her story…simply allowed her to make her choices.

"And the incident itself? You said you nearly died again?"

"I'm not sure I want Castle to hear every detail. It's painful for both of us."

Rick reached over to take her hand…a little gesture of support that was not lost on the doctor. "Whatever you need, Kate," he told her gently, as if he were trying to make it a private conversation. "If you want me to leave, I will; but if it would help to have back-up, I'm here. You don't have to protect me."

"You already know most of it. You don't need to hear any more. Just wait out there," she asked, inclining her head toward the door.

Castle rose from the chair, not releasing her hand. He watched her face for a moment, put his other hand over hers briefly, and told her, "If you need me, just open the door." Then she drew her hand away, and he left the room, as she requested, and closed the door behind him.

"You don't want him to know what happened?" the doctor asked.

"He knows what happened, and he's seen the injuries. He doesn't need to hear the details of where each one came from or what was in my mind. I think he already feels guilty that he wasn't there."

"Should he?"

"No. I had pushed him away so hard this time that he had finally given up on me…had left me. Even if we had been on better terms when it happened, his daughter graduated from high school that day. I wouldn't have expected him to miss that. He's been a single dad most of her life, a really good dad. Alexis is amazing. She was valedictorian," Kate told him with a look of pride that set Dr. Burke's pen moving again. "I wouldn't have let him miss that…no matter what else was happening."

"You're fond of his daughter?"

Kate nodded. "And his mother. I've been… Sorry. You need to know what happened with Maddox while we still have time to talk about it." She described the situation at the hotel and the fight on the rooftop, leaving out nothing she could remember. "All the ramifications of what I had done hadn't caught up with me as I was trying to hold on to the edge of the roof. Last week, if anybody had asked me what I thought my biggest regret would be if I died, I probably would have said that it was not being able to solve my mother's murder. But when dying was really about to happen, it was Castle…just him." She shrugged as if she had no explanation.

As she watched him write, she told Dr. Burke about Esposito's suspension, the rift between her two team members, her resignation, the captain's agreement to a suspension for her, but with warnings. "I finally realized how much I affect the people around me when I fall into this addiction to solve my mother's murder."

"Have you had nightmares? Flashbacks?"

"Only once…so far. Castle insisted I stay with him, so I've been surrounded by Rick and his family…and taking pain meds. Maybe that's helped me sleep. Some of it wanders through my mind during the day, but they've kept me distracted, and they've taken care of me. Accepting all that attention isn't like me, but it's been kind of nice. It's been like having a family again."

"They're fond of you, too?"

"They seem to be…but his mother _is_ an actress. His daughter seems to be accepting me. They've both had their doubts about me more than once…and I deserved it."

"I've noticed that whatever we talk about today seems to come back to Mr. Castle. You said he had left you. How did the two of you get to what I witnessed before he left the room?"

She smiled at the memory of their reunion. "I tried to call him, and when he didn't answer, I went to his place and…" She stopped and looked somewhat embarrassed, then breathed out a puff of air, "and basically threw myself at him…apologized, and apparently said the right things. He took me back. We've talked through some things that needed to be said…have more of that to do. What you saw before he left is what I could have had in my life all the time I've been seeing you…what I didn't think I was ready for. I've been an idiot, haven't I?"

Dr. Burke smiled. "Your assessment, not mine. I make no such judgments. Sometimes things happen when the time is right."

Kate smiled, too.

"You seem more relaxed than I've ever seen you, and you seem to be handling this latest incident well so far."

"I am…so far. I have no delusions that it will just disappear from my mind, but it helps knowing I won't be alone with it."

"We should probably plan another session next week to re-evaluate."

"Castle has a book signing tour, and I'm going with him. We leave from here…for a couple of weeks. I'll make an appointment for the week we get back."

"Another big step. How do you feel about all this?"

"Scared…nervous…but pretty confident we won't kill each other or give up before we come home."

"Then I'll look forward to our next session. I hope to see you just as relaxed and confident and just as much in control."

Kate stood and walked to the door, opening it to get Castle's attention, and he was there immediately.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, placing a hand on her upper arm solicitously.

"I'm good." She gave him a reassuring smile. "We're done. Have you called your driver?"

"He should be here in a couple of minutes. Are you ready?"

The doctor smiled behind them when they weren't watching. He could see the same things their friends could see. He then came to the door and shook Castle's hand again. "You're welcome to accompany Kate any time she wants, Mr. Castle. It's good to have met you."

"Thank you. It's good to meet you, too. Kate has a lot of confidence in you, a lot of trust; and coming from Kate, that's quite a compliment."

"Yes, it is," the doctor agreed, and he watched as the couple turned away from him and Castle slipped his arm around Kate's waist to walk her to the exit door. As he opened the door for her, the doctor couldn't help calling out in his subdued manner, "Enjoy your trip."

They simultaneously turned and smiled at him and waved. The interplay between the two of them had been quite a revelation. He smiled again, then he called his next patient.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The driver met them at the door when they left the office building, and it wasn't long before the airport complex was in sight. When they arrived, Castle and his driver took the luggage from the trunk, and he checked their bags at the curbside check-in; then they went in to face the security hassle, following it with a trip to the closest coffee shop in the concourse. They didn't need to rush to the gate for their flight, so they walked leisurely, talking, sipping coffee and occasionally dodging other, less patient travelers.

When they reached the gate, they met Paula and the security guard Castle had hired, mostly for Beckett, and Castle took care of introductions. Rick and Kate both breathed a sigh of relief when they were allowed to board the plane and relax into the roomy first class seats. "I feel like we've been going non-stop for days," Kate sighed, putting her hand over Rick's where he had put it on the armrest between them. "It feels good to sit and not worry for a little while. And before you think I didn't notice, I realize I've slept through a lot of it."

"But, while you were awake, there was a lot of planning and worrying about what to plan…and facing things we've avoided for a long time, and trying to keep family in the picture. Having three people around you when you would usually have retreated into yourself probably added to the stress, but I needed to be sure you were all right. You finally trusted me, and I couldn't help myself."

"It was a little overwhelming sometimes, but it wasn't as foreign as I might have thought a few days ago. It was actually kind of comforting…especially the you part. It hasn't been easy for you, either, has it? You've been taking care of me, taking care of Alexis' doubts, involved in everything I've been involved in, keeping tabs on this trip, taking care of having everything covered for your family while we're gone, and you still managed to get a little writing done. How do you juggle it all?" Her eyes were open now, and she was giving him a look that matched the sound of respect in her voice.

"You do what has to be done. It all works itself out."

"I need to get better so I can help you juggle some of it. If we're going into this together, you can't take everything on yourself." She paused and looked out the window briefly. "Do you think Alexis and your mother will ever completely forgive me?"

"I think they're almost there already. They don't hover around trying to look after people they don't like."

"You're not just saying that?"

"No. I've promised to be honest with you, and I will." Rick gave her a loving look. She said that his family was comforting, and she sounded concerned about his taking on too much...and she mentioned shared responsibilities as if it was nothing. Neither wife had ever worried too much about that. Meredith didn't have a clue that the world didn't revolve around her, still didn't; and Gina's only concern about his taking on too much was that it would slow the steady stream of money-making books. He had worried that family would be too much for Kate and push her away, but she didn't seem to mind too much. That was a relief. He hadn't entirely given up worrying, though. Kate's safety was still iffy in his mind, even though Smith had said things were probably okay for the time being.

People were filing past them on the way to their own seats, and the man Rick had hired to provide security for them was allowing Paula to settle her things into the overhead storage and herself in the window seat before he stowed his bag and sat down across the aisle from his two charges…keeping an eye on the sometimes noisy, steady stream of humanity passing through the cabin.

Rick had offered Kate the window seat, and was relieved when she accepted it without question. That put him between her and the possibility of anybody with bad intentions. He knew he was being overly cautious, and he was trying to keep it low key; but he wasn't taking any chances.

The noise from the other passengers allowed them a few minutes of relatively private conversation, and Kate put gentle pressure on Rick's hand to get his attention.

"Thanks for bringing me along," she said, eyes closed again. "I might go stir crazy waiting at the hotel or the book stores for you to finish signings and TV spots, but at least the scenery will change from day to day. If I'd stayed home, I would have been insane before the week was out."

"Remember who you're travelling with?" he answered with self-deprecating humor. "You may be insane before the week is out, anyway."

"Good point," she said, smiling at him as she opened her eyes. "But I love you, so maybe it won't be too bad."

"God, Kate. I can't get enough of hearing that."

"What? That I love you?" she said flirtatiously.

"Yeah. That."

She leaned closer and whispered next to his ear, "I love you…a lot."

"I love you, too," he whispered back and turned his hand over to lace his fingers through hers.

"All I know is that we're going to LA. What happens first when we get there?" she asked.

"Nothing until tomorrow morning. There's a live TV spot for a morning show tomorrow morning and a book signing at Barnes and Noble that starts at three. I have to be there pretty early for the TV spot. You can sleep in and watch me from bed."

"Or I could just sleep in," she teased.

"What kind of support is that from somebody who's supposed to love me?"

"Okay," she answered, feigning being put upon. "I'll watch."

"Oh, no way! I just realized you don't have a clue where we're going, other than the western half of the country. You're actually following me blind, aren't you?" He seemed both delighted and surprised.

"It _is_ a little out of character, isn't it?"

"A _little_ out of character? If I'd thought about it, I would have expected a full interrogation by now. Who are you and what have you done with Kate Beckett?"

"I've been a lot out of character for the last few days. Thanks for not making too big a deal of it before. And brace yourself. The better I feel, the more of the old Beckett you're likely to see. I hope it doesn't disappoint you too much when she's back."

"It'll be okay. I love her, too." He leaned and placed a quick kiss on her lips.

"Not too much of that in public, okay? Save it for just us?" She meant what she said, but she couldn't help stroking his cheek when she said it.

"Ahh. A hint of the real Beckett returning. I'll behave…but there might be a lot more of that when we're alone."

"I'm counting on it."

"Is this allowed? he asked, holding their joined hands slightly above the armrest, a teasing little twinkle in his eye.

Definitely," she agreed, squeezing his hand gently, and they both leaned back into the seat again.

The swarm of humanity moving through the cabin was now less than a trickle, and the flight attendant was about to start her spiel. As the woman talked and demonstrated, Castle leaned over and asked quietly, obviously concerned with Kate's injuries, "Do you need anything? It's a long flight. Are you comfortable?"

"As comfortable as I'm going to get for the next few days. It's a little better today, though. The muscles aren't quite as stiff, and taking a deep breath is a tiny bit easier." She paused and whispered mischievously, "And the seats are great. There's something to be said for travelling with a rich guy."

"Just wait. It gets better," he promised. Then he quietly asked suggestively, "You need any help with that seat belt, Beckett?"

She whispered back, "In case you missed the concept, Castle, a plane is a public place. I think I can manage."

She wore the look she always did when she was trying to act annoyed and hold back a smile at the same time. He loved the look, and he reveled in it because it was almost always because of him. With a satisfied little smirk, he fastened his seat belt, and they settled in for take-off.

"I love you," she whispered again and watched for his contented smile.

They talked for a few minutes, and Rick had a short conversation with his security guy, who was obviously a long-time colleague; then they leaned their heads back and gave in to the relief that things would be quiet for a while.

"My shoulder is available if you want it," he offered.

"You do have comfortable shoulders," she answered, looking over at him and smiling before she moved closer, rested her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes. Humoring his need to know it, she traced "I love you" on his arm and wondered if it was possible to get any more cliché. She was totally disgusted with herself but couldn't bring herself to care too much.

He smiled back and kissed her brow before he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, too. They were still holding hands.

There was a long flight they could sleep through if they wanted to, no more meetings or appointments that day other than a short confab with Paula at dinner to firm up the first week's schedule, and then they had the evening to themselves.

xxxxx

After giving instructions to the passengers, the flight attendant went to the front to help prepare the first class service cart and told the other flight attendant, "There's the sweetest couple in the back two seats. You should see how they look at each other. They just seem so happy." She smiled and sighed. "I hope I live long enough to find somebody who looks at me like that."

The other attendant laughed. "You're such a hopeless romantic, Chelsea. I'll take a look when we start serving."

When they were ready to deliver the hot towels, the romantically inclined flight attendant said softly to her friend, "They're on your left. You take that side." Aww. It looks like they're going to sleep. You missed it."

Looking to her left at the last seats in first class, Jacinda saw the face of Richard Castle, his eyes closed and his face peaceful. And her friend, said he was with a woman…apparently looking enough like he was in love to have Chelsea melting over it. 'Well, this could be awkward,' went through her mind. Recovering from the surprise, she told the other attendant, "Why don't you take care of the towels. I'll start taking orders. Maybe they'll wake up before we finish that, and I can get the full effect."

"Okay."

Jacinda was going to be professional, but she couldn't help wondering if this was the woman Rick had been trying unsuccessfully to forget; and she wasn't looking forward to the moment he realized she was on this flight with them…even less to when the woman with him might realize it. She took a deep, resigned breath and went about her task, getting closer and closer to where she couldn't avoid them if they woke. As she got close enough to see them, the brunette whose head was on his shoulder came into her view. Rick's head had now drooped to lean against hers, and they were still holding hands. His finger were laced through hers, and her other hand was on his arm. Even innocently asleep, there was an aura of closeness about them. Nobody would bother them unless they opened their eyes and seemed interested, and having already taken orders all around them, that didn't seem likely at the moment. That was fine with her. It would put awkward off for a little while longer.

Paula, who was sitting in the window seat across the aisle from Rick and Kate, tapped their security guard's arm and asked, "Why don't you wake Rick up and see if they want anything?"

"I'd rather leave them alone," he answered, keeping his voice down. "Detective Beckett was injured on the job. She is still in pain, and I am certain he would rather not disturb her when she can sleep."

"Why didn't he tell me that?" Paula asked in her brash manner. She wasn't happy about being left out of the loop in any matter concerning a client.

"I am here for her security more than his this trip. He wants to know she is cared for, and wants to keep her out of the public eye right now," he answered, holding a hand palm out to invite Paula to engage in some volume control as they spoke.

"She didn't look like she was in pain when we met them at the airport," Paula challenged quietly.

"She is a successful woman in a man's world, so the appearance of strength is important to her. I imagine you have felt that need at times in your job," he answered diplomatically. "Preserving the image…it becomes a habit. She is a police detective. People expect the police to look strong, so in jobs like ours, it becomes habit to hide your pain. Would you have any confidence in your security if I came limping toward you when we met this morning or grimaced in pain each time I took a deep breath or stretched to reach for something?"

"You make your point well, Ahmed. Is that how she feels right now?"

"Judging from experience, and after hearing of her injuries, I would imagine so. I would also imagine that each morning should bring a small lessening of the pain. They have had a difficult few days and probably need sleep. He is concerned about her."

"You trying to tell me I should give them some space?" she asked good-naturedly.

"Your perceptive abilities are improving, Paula."

She answered him with a smack on his arm, and they both laughed; then she went back to reading her book.

Ahmed was trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, not like a bodyguard; but inconspicuous wasn't easy for him. He was a little over six feet tall, an attractive, dark-skinned, muscular man who walked with an economy of movement that implied strength and confidence. His English was slightly stilted, but he spoke it fluently with a pleasant and distinctive accent, giving an impression of both intelligence and competence. When he was in full security mode, he was a formidable looking man. He and Rick had met when he immigrated to the United States from Africa and had been friends since; and as owner of a small security company, he always took care of Rick's security needs himself.

Paula knew him well now, too, and had often seenthat the hard security exterior could quickly melt into the kind, thoughtful family man and friend who had just teased her, showing his sense of humor and flashing his easy smile.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

A couple of hours later, Castle opened his eyes, orienting himself to his surroundings. He started to move his arm, realizing that it was tingly, almost numb; then he found the reason for that in the welcome, warm weight of Kate Beckett leaning against him, her head still on his shoulder. His head was still leaning on hers, too; so he lifted it carefully and leaned it back against the seat. He knew her muscles would be stiff when she woke, and thought he might as well let her sleep and postpone that as long as possible. Not thinking about anything else, he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head and smiled.

Suddenly. he was aware of a presence, someone stooping down next to his seat. Jacinda. Not someone he had wanted to see.

"Hi," she whispered, seeming no more anxious to wake Kate up than he was. "Is that her?"

"Is that who?" he whispered back.

"The reason you weren't looking for anything but a distraction? The reason our fun was always…um…limited?"

He looked uncomfortable answering, but he wasn't going to lie. "We've worked things out."

"I can see that. She's asleep. She didn't need that look or that little kiss. You did."

"Jacinda, I…"

"It's okay, Rick. I knew you were rebounding. We had fun, but I could tell there was somebody you weren't ready to give up on. Most women have sort of a sixth sense about those things. You have nothing to be sorry for. We both enjoyed it for what it was. Are you happy?"

"Very."

"Then I'm happy for you." Realizing it would become obvious if she stayed too long carrying on a personal conversation, she stood and got back to her job. "Do you want something to eat?" she asked quietly. "I can find you something you can manage one-handed. Or something to drink?"

"I'll wait until she wakes up. We should both be hungry by then."

"Okay." She stood up to go back, noticing a call light near the front seats.

"Jacinda," he whispered, and she turned back toward him. "Thanks for understanding."

She smiled and went to answer the call light.

Kate woke about half an hour later, and his arm was well and truly numb by then; but he had stoically ignored it until she started to sit up. She moved, and most people wouldn't have known how much it hurt her; but he knew her expressions too well not to see it.

"You okay? He asked as he wiggled the fingers on the hand he had just extracted from hers and tried to rub the circulation back into his arm."

"I will be after I stretch a little bit. How about you? Did your arm go to sleep along with me?"

"Yeah, kind of. I just woke up about fifteen or twenty minutes ago."

"How long did we sleep?"

"A couple of hours. Are you hungry?"

"Not awake enough to know yet. I think I'll see how much I can stretch here and make a trip to the rest room before I think about food. Everything is stiff. I need to move a little bit."

Castle watched as Beckett did an impressive amount of stretching in that small space.

"That's amazing. You have to teach me to do that."

"Spend enough time in a car on stake-outs and you learn a lot of things," she told him as she rolled her shoulders and stretched her back.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Knuckles to the small of my back? It's still hard to reach that far."

"Won't that hurt? The bruises…"

"The bruises aren't going anywhere for a while. At least the muscles will feel better."

He started by rubbing her back just below her waistband, then gradually, as she asked, used his knuckles as gently as he could to knead the muscles there.

"Is it helping?" he asked after a minute or so.

Kate sat up then. "It helped a lot. Try to stop worrying about me, Castle. You're going to turn into a mother hen before long."

"Mother hen," he sputtered. "You wound me, Detective."

She smiled at the hand to the heart. It was so Castle.

"If you're nicer to me, I might plead to Father Rooster; but I'll have you know I've never been mistaken for a female anything."

She laughed and said, "Let me get out. I'll be right back."

He stood to let her into the aisle. As he sat back down, watching her move away, Ahmed watched both of them for a moment; and when Kate closed the door to the rest room, he leaned across the aisle conspiratorially and said quietly to keep it between the two of them, "Tell me that was not the flight attendant from last month."

Rick leaned toward him to answer, "I wish I could." Then he looked up to see Kate leaving the rest room. "Oh, God. Please tell me she isn't about to talk to Kate."

"I wish I could," Rick heard in the rich African accent of his companion, who obviously found the whole situation quite entertaining. Ahmed gave a quiet, low rumble of laughter and reached out to tap Rick's arm with the back of his hand. "I keep telling you, my friend, it will all come back to haunt you." And he leaned back in his seat with another chuckle.

Kate left the rest room and found a familiar looking blonde flight attendant in her path.

"Is your name Kate?"

"Yes." Her detective instincts led her to check the woman's name tag, and she wasn't happy with what she found. A very distinctive name.

"Can we talk for just a minute? I won't keep you, I promise," she said, pointing toward the small open area near the pilot's door.

"I probably shouldn't be talking to you," Kate answered, following her anyway, her curiosity roused. "I'm pretty sure Rick won't be comfortable with this." To her credit, the woman was keeping her voice down and handling things in a way that would cause as little undue attention as possible, and their backs were turned to anyone who could see them.

"He might be okay with it when I'm done." Jacinda took a deep breath and appeared to be deciding where to start. "It didn't take but a couple of dates to know Rick was on the rebound; but he's a great guy, and we had fun together…movies, dinner, dancing. Pretty frivolous stuff. With what I'd read about him, I was kind of surprised that was all. You need to know that when it got to the place where something more would usually happen, he started backing away. I asked him who you were, told him I could tell there was already somebody in his life. The fun never got that far, understand? It was like he wanted to, but he wouldn't cross that line. I don't know what happened to have him looking for somebody else for a while; but if it was you, please don't do it again. He's a really good guy, and he doesn't want anybody but you."

Kate said softly, "You didn't have to do this, but I appreciate it."

"He deserves for you to know…not to have any doubts." She took another deep resigned breath. "You'll both probably be more comfortable if Chelsea takes care of you. I know neither of you have eaten anything yet; so I'll send her back after you're seated, and she'll get you something."

"Thank you, Jacinda," she answered. "This was much more thoughtful than you needed to be."

"Take good care of him, okay?"

Kate just nodded and went back down the aisle.

"That guy is the one you were dating…the one with the Ferrari?" Chelsea asked in ammazement.

"Yeah. Rick Castle. He writes those Nikki Heat books."

"And her name is Kate?"

"Yeah."

"Jacinda, have you read the books?"

"No. I keep meaning to."

"The woman he based Nikki on is Detective Kate Beckett. Look. It's right here on the flight manifest. She's the one with him. He works with her…does consulting work for the police. After what I saw today, I think some of what's in those books is what he wants for them."

"Well, whoever she is, he's definitely in love with her, and we definitely keep all this to ourselves, understand? I don't want to be the reason they get a lot of publicity while they're trying to get back together."

"It was nice of you to do that for her, Honey."

"I did it for him. I wasn't in love with him, but I really liked him. He deserves to be happy. Now go find out what they want."

Rick watched Kate nervously as she came back, standing again so she could get to her seat. After they were both settled again, he asked, "Are we still okay?"

"Yeah. We'll talk about it later, but we're okay." She lifted his hand and kissed the back of it for assurance.

xxxxx

The rest of their trip was uneventful. There was a car waiting to take them to their hotel, and before dinner, their bags were in their rooms.

The four members of the book tour had dinner together in the hotel's restaurant and laid out the plans for the next several days. They would be in LA for two nights, then San Diego overnight.

One stop took them to Seattle and then they would move on, stopping in both large cities and a few smaller towns. This time, Rick insisted that they include some of the independent bookstores that brought in a regional readership, as well as the more commercial ones. He was looking forward to it. It would be a nice change of atmosphere from the big cities, and might attract new attention to some of the independent stores.

They had booked three one bedroom suites, one for Paula, and two adjoining so security would be easily available to Kate if she needed it during the times Rick was gone. The stores had enough security for Rick. She wouldn't easily admit to it, but they both knew Kate wasn't in any condition to defend herself right then, and he wasn't leaving her without back-up, no matter how wide her independent streak might be.

After Ahmed had checked their suite and everybody had retired to their own rooms, Rick unlocked the adjoining door and had told Ahmed to do the same, each knowing their privacy wouldn't be breached for anything short of a full-fledged emergency.

"Alone at last," he said, wrapping his arms around Kate and giving her one of those kisses he mentioned on the plane.

"Cheesy movie lines? I thought I was here with a writer…a wordsmith."

"What can I say? You either get words or more of this." After another kiss, he added, "I'm too tired for both."

"Then just shut up, and let's have more of that," she answered with a smile, and she started the next kiss herself. This one was long and hungry and ended with both of them breathing harder, their foreheads touching as they recovered. "Castle, I want you so much."

"I want you, too. But we're waiting until your ribs are healed enough that you don't get those little hitches I hear in your breathing every time you take a deep breath. He enveloped her in a big, loving hug and breathed out, "God, I love you."

She slid her arms around his waist and closed her eyes in pleasure. He loved her, and even though there would be no sex that night, they would be in each other's arms until morning.

"I have to be up at five-thirty to be there in time for that TV spot tomorrow morning. Why don't we take a nice, long hot shower and wash off the travel dust or whatever? Maybe some of those muscles will relax enough for you to sleep better…and I'll be happy to help you wash whatever you can't reach yet…or anything you can reach, if you want.

Kate could feel him smiling where his mouth was leaving little butterfly kisses on her neck.

"We won't get there like this," she warned.

At that, he pulled away, leaving her missing his warmth, and walked toward the bathroom as he unbuttoned his shirt. When he reached the bathroom door, he took the shirt off and threw it over his shoulder in the general direction of the bed; then, as it floated to its destination, he unbuckled his belt, pulled it out of the loops, and let it fall to the floor as he turned slightly to look back at her with a mischievous smile and asked, "You coming, Beckett?"

She grinned delightedly at the role reversal, started unbuttoning her own shirt, and followed him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

During the night, Kate woke to the sound of Castle's voice, but he sounded distressed. He was calling her name and saying "No." Each time he said it, it was louder and more frantic, and she shook him and called him until he woke up, knowing Ahmed was likely to be there if he got much louder.

"Castle, it's okay. It was just a dream. You're okay. You were just dreaming." She pulled his head to her shoulder and held him close, whispering assurances, stroking his shoulders and back, and soothing him awake. He wrapped his arms around her desperately. When he calmed, she said softly, "It must have been a bad one."

"It was. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up…or worry you. I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

"I told you that you don't always have to be strong for me. I need to take care of you sometimes, too. It had something to do with me?"

"Yeah."

"What was the dream?"

"You don't need to…"

"You made me talk about my nightmare…and it made me feel better…to say it and know it wasn't real…so talk to me. Castle. We're going to be honest, remember?"

"This time he killed you. You were hanging from the building, and he shot you, and you fell." He turned away from her and ran his fingers through his hair, and there was a catch in his voice as he said, "All I could do was watch you fall."

"Look at me. I'm here. It didn't happen. She reached for his face to turn it toward her for a kiss, then she understood why he turned away. She felt the tears and pulled him back to her. "It's just me," she reminded him. "You don't have to hide anything from me. Have you had nightmares like this before?"

"Yeah."

"For how long?"

"Since you were shot."

"I didn't know."

"I guess the cat's out of the bag now, huh?"

"You want me to talk to you. I expect the same thing, understand?"

"Okay."

"Can you sleep now?"

"Am I hurting you if stay here?"

"Not if I move this arm just a little. There. I'm fine."

"I can hear your heartbeat from here."

She felt a tear run down her own cheek as she held him, trying to protect him from his dreams. She held him where her heartbeat would give him the comfort of knowing she was still with him, and after a few minutes, they had both fallen asleep again.

xxxxx

Rick got up and dressed early the next morning and slipped out quietly, careful not to wake Kate. He was a little embarrassed that she had caught the tears, but seeing how insistent she was about needing to take care of him, too... That was well worth a little embarrassment.

Ahmed had promised to be awake and alert after Rick left, so he met Rick in the hallway to assure him he was on duty. He understood both his friend's concern for the woman he loved and Kate's need for healing sleep.

"Thanks for this," Rick said.

"You pay me well, feed me well, give me a fine place to lay my head…and you are my friend. No need for thanks. I will watch over her…as you would do for my loved ones."

"Then I won't worry."

"That is a lie," he answered, smiling in amusement.

"Well, I won't worry much." Rick smiled at being called out on his tendency to worry.

"I can accept that as truth." As Castle turned to leave, he heard, "Rick…" and turned back at the sound. "The stewardess yesterday…did it hurt you with your Kate?"

"We talked before we slept last night. Jacinda told Kate the truth about what happened between us. It was what Kate needed to know. She probably did me a favor."

"You lead a charmed life, my friend," he said, shaking his head. "Enjoy your day, and try not to worry."

Rick gave him a brief, brotherly pat on one arm and was off to meet Paula and the car that would take them to the television station.

xxxxx

Kate woke up when her alarm went off at seven-forty-five. Rick's TV spot was scheduled for eight. She got up, made use of the bathroom, splashed some water on her face to help her wake up, and put on her robe. Knowing Rick had left Ahmed to provide for her safety if she needed it, she knocked on the adjoining door. It rankled her that she might need help if it came to it, but she had admitted to herself, even if to no one else, that her injuries had left her less capable than usual. She hadn't been able to cope with Maddox when she was at her best, and she knew she wouldn't stand a chance against someone like him now. Theoretically, she was safe unless they found Smith again, but there were no guarantees. She had much more to live for now, so she conscientiously wasn't complaining about security…at least for now.

Opening the door on her side a little way, she called, "Morning, Ahmed. I know Richard Castle didn't leave here without being sure you were awake. You want to watch him on TV with me?"

The other door opened fully, and Ahmed loomed in the doorway for a moment before he came into the living room of the suite.

"He should be on in a couple of minutes," Kate told him, easing herself into a roomy chair. "I think I'll watch and then go back to bed if you don't mind. You can leave the adjoining door open if it makes it easier."

"That might be best," he agreed, sitting down on the sofa.

About that time, Rick was being introduced on the show, and they both smiled, commenting a time or two as he worked his charm on the two anchors, hawking his book, dropping teasers about the plot, and leaving his audience wanting more.

"He's really good at this, isn't he?" she said.

"Wait until you see him at a book signing. He has them eating out of his hand there, too."

"Actually, I've seen that before," she said a little sheepishly. Way before he started following me around for the Nikki Heat books, I stood in line for an hour for a signature. To this day, I don't know why I wanted to do that, but I'd read all of his books. I was going through a tough time, and I could get lost in them. They helped me get through some things…and I ended up there...like a fan girl. It's the only time I've ever done anything like that. Then I worked with him long enough to know the real man. He amazes me."

"You amaze him, too, Kate Beckett. I'm happy that my friend has you with him."

"I'd think anyone who cares about him…anyone he confides in, would be less than that trusting of me."

"I am a good judge of character…a necessity of the job. I saw the two of you together yesterday, and I did not see a woman who does not care deeply for Richard Castle."

Kate simply smiled and looked down, uncomfortable at such a conversation with someone she had known for such a short time, surprised that she was allowing it, and nodded in agreement at his statement. "The two of you seem to be good friends," she observed. "How did you meet?"

"I met Rick at the airport in London on my way to this country…shortly after I had to leave my own. He and Alexis had been on holiday in London and were on their way home. My family and I were having difficulty navigating such a large airport, and we stopped him to ask questions; the rest, as they say, is history."

"How did that develop into such a friendship?" she asked, more interested now than before.

"Richard Castle can't resist a story. He is a curious man."

Kate laughed. "Probably the understatement of the century."

Ahmed chuckled, too. "He apparently saw a story in us and needed to hear it. When it turned out that we would be waiting at the same gate, he sat with us…my wife, my brother and me, and before we knew it, we had told him our story…beginning to end. He is also an easy man to talk to. Alexis was about ten years old; and, for a child that age, she had nearly as many good questions as her father."

"What was your job before you left your country?"

"Perhaps I should begin at the beginning," he suggested.

"Always a good starting point," Kate agreed.

Ahmed said he had been married only a few months at the time, and spoke of how happy he and his wife were in their first home.

"My brother and I were in the army and had both distinguished ourselves enough to be trained as members of the palace guard...something like your secret service. At that time, our country had a king. He wasn't a perfect man, but he was a good man. He cared about the country, about the good of the people, and he had made an effort to rid the government of some of the corruption that had been rampant under his father. That angered a lot of important people, and some of the military leaders took over the government, killed him, his family, and the unit guarding him that night, along with as many other members of the palace guard as they could find. Two of the guards who had escaped managed to warn those of us who were not on duty that night. There were members of the community close by who we depended on to provide assistance if we needed to move the king inconspicuously, and they had become friends. My wife, my brother, and I went to them with barely more than what we were wearing and the papers we would need to travel, and they smuggled us out of the city. We managed to cross the border and make our way to an American humanitarian aid group who allowed us to stay for a while until we could decide what to do. We worked for them in return for food and shelter, and we found jobs outside their group as well. After we decided on a path of action, they helped us work through your embassy for asylum. We were given student visas to study in this country, and a supporter of the group offered us transportation to London…in a truly frightening commuter plane. I don't know how old it was or what was holding it together, but it did get us to London; and we were exceedingly grateful…both for the kindness and the fact that we all lived through it. We barely had enough money for our plane fare, let alone anything else. That was when we met Rick at the airport."

"He must have been fascinated. I can almost see him writing your story in his head as he listened."

"I'm certain he was, but we didn't know at the time that we were talking to a well-known writer. We simply enjoyed our conversation. My family liked him, too, and all of us enjoyed Alexis. He offered his help when we got to New York…helped us find a place to live…and, I suspect, paid some of the rent without mentioning it. We realized much later that the rent was quite low for the apartment we had at the time. He called me when he needed security, which was more often then, and recommended my brother, Joseph, and me to friends of his who had similar needs periodically. We worked at clubs…large events. All of us were business students, and eventually, we built on the clientele that grew from Rick's recommendations and established our own security firm."

"And you stayed in touch?"

"Spending as much time together as we have on tours like this one, Rick and I talked a lot, confided in one another. As different as we are, we found that we had a lot in common. He's a good man…a good friend."

"I know," Kate agreed. "I hope I'll have a chance to meet your family sometime. Do you have children?"

"Two," he answered with a fatherly look of pride. "A seven year old daughter and a three year old son."

"I can already see one of the things you have in common."

"What is that?" he asked with a smile.

"That's the same kind of look I see on Rick's face when he talks about Alexis."

"It is often difficult for fathers to control such things," he answered with a broad smile.

Kate laughed. "I seem to remember catching that look on my father's face, now and then when I was younger."

"It is undoubtedly still there. You simply are not there to see it so often now. He still has much to be proud of."

"Another thing you and Rick have in common. Knowing the right thing to say," she answered with an appreciative smile.

He stood to leave. "His television time is over now. Why don't you try to sleep a while longer? Sleep is healing, and you will enjoy the trip more when your injuries heal. Rest. The doors will be open, and I'll be close by."

"Thanks. I hate admitting it, but it does make me feel better."

"I understand that. We are both trained as warriors. Perhaps one day I will need to ask for your help, and I have no doubt that you will provide it well."

Kate smiled. "All this, and a diplomat, too." She started toward the bedroom and stopped, turning slightly back toward Ahmed. "Castle is a warrior, too. He's fearless when he needs to be, keeps a clear head in battle, thinks well on his feet. You should know that about your friend. And he's an honorable man. I don't just care about him; I have a great deal of respect for him, too."

Ahmed smiled in return, looking pleased; then he nodded and retreated to his suite, leaving the doors between the rooms open.

Kate closed herself in the bedroom, went back to bed, and wasn't awake even long enough to be surprised at how quickly she was falling asleep again. She was still asleep long after Rick returned, and she got up just after he had ordered lunch for the three of them.

xxxxx

"Good morning," Castle said to her with a teasing smile. "I was beginning to think I wouldn't have the pleasure of your company again until after the book signing."

"I can't believe I've slept this long," Kate answered, sitting down beside him on the couch and leaning against him sleepily.

He turned his head to give her a little kiss on her lips; then he put an arm around her shoulders and leaned back, where she could be more comfortable resting against him. "Lunch should be delivered soon, and Ahmed will be right back to join us."

"He's an impressive man…surprisingly easy to talk to…even for me."

"He has a brother who's almost as impressive."

"Good genes there," Kate commented with a smile. Suddenly changing the subject, she said, "You were good on the show this morning."

"You got up to watch?"

"Only for that." She moved her chin to his shoulder to look at him, knowing he would notice that she was throwing his words from the day before back into his path. "Otherwise, what kind of support would that show from somebody who's supposed to love you?" She stopped and kissed his neck because it was the closest thing to her mouth, and added, "I was impressed. You were definitely in charge."

He kissed her mouth again while it was so close and smiled. "Thank you."

"Enjoy the compliments while they're here, writer-man," she said, moving her head to his chest. "We'll see how much of the old Beckett eventually returns."

"I fell in love with the old Beckett, remember…but I gotta say, I'm liking this huggy, kissy, admits she loves me Beckett a lot." He kissed her head, and heard her little chuckle. "The book signing will be over before dinner. That gives us the evening free again. Do you feel like going out somewhere, or would you rather stay here tonight?"

"Can we play it by ear? I thought I'd want to get out for a little while this morning, but I seem to have slept through most of it."

"Sure. Whatever you want."

"How did you get to be so patient?"

"Just wait until those ribs let you breathe easier and you aren't hurting when you move. Then you'll see a lack of patience. I'll be dragging you back to our room every chance I get, probably not asking so often what you want to do."

"Because you'll already know," she answered suggestively. "One night making love with Richard Castle is not enough. And that still doesn't answer how you can be so patient."

He grinned and answered, "It didn't hurt that Lanie threatened to kill me and make it look like natural causes if I touched you before your ribs allow you to breathe without pain."

Having heard such Lanie threats before, Kate's laugh burst from her; and she was immediately reminded that the ribs weren't ready for such action quite yet. She had coughed that morning, which also served as a warning.

Rick kissed her head and sat quietly holding her until her little burst of pain subsided. "You okay?" he asked.

"I'm okay."

He turned himself more toward Kate and pressed her gently against the back of the sofa, kissing up her jaw line and reaching her lips with soft kisses that she returned, each one becoming more insistent. When the last one broke, they were both breathing harder, and he was kicking himself for getting lost in the kisses. Her response to breathing heavily still showed some trouble, and he decided he'd have to tone down the kissing, too, for another few days. They both knew Lanie wasn't his only reason for being patient.

"Another few days, probably. We've waited for years. We'll survive another few days. And, for the record, one night making love with Katherine Beckett isn't nearly enough, either."

"Sorry I'm so worthless on that score right now."

"When we get there again, the anticipation will make it even better." Rick planted one more quick little peck on Kate's lips before they heard the outside door of the next room close.

Having heard the quiet, loving sound of the voices next door, Ahmed called from his room to let them know he was there. Then he entered their room and went to open the door for the obviously intimidated young man who was delivering their lunch. The cart had been checked in the hall before he was allowed to enter the room, and Ahmed's practiced eye had looked him over carefully for the possibility of weapons.

Even though Rick was happy to have such security in place, he did feel sorry for the unsuspecting young man and went to give him a generous tip before he left.

"Poor kid," Kate chuckled from the sofa as the two men smiled. "Is all that really necessary?"

"Just doing my job," Ahmed said in his defense.

"What he said," Rick responded, "and I did give 'the poor kid' a healthy tip to help him get over it."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

After lunch, Rick left for his book signing, and Kate finally got dressed in real clothes and told Ahmed she wanted to see if the hotel gift shop had a decent book to keep her occupied. After wondering why she was accepting his presence without complaint, she finally decided that knowing he was also Rick's long-time friend must be a factor. It wasn't just some random security guy. Rick had told her the night before that Ahmed's brother was looking out for Alexis and Martha.

Once she was up and moving around, Kate felt better. After looking through the gift shop and finding a book for herself and cards for her dad, Lanie, and Rick's family, she went back to the room and tried some easy yoga to stretch and test what her body would willingly allow her to do. She was pleased to find that it went pretty well. Her life was an active one, and she was beginning to crave movement; but she wisely sat down with her book to recover from pushing herself earlier and smiled to herself, thinking of her blue-eyed incentive to avoid causing any more body trauma right now.

When Castle returned, she was showered, dressed, and sitting on the sofa engrossed in her book.

"You must be feeling better," he said, leaning over to kiss her. "Does this mean you're up to going out for dinner?

"If you want to."

"How does Italian sound? I know a great place. Alexis and I found it when she was about twelve."

"Sounds good."

"Ahmed," Rick called, knowing he would be close enough to hear. "You feel like Italian for dinner tonight?"

"The little place Alexis likes?" he asked, appearing at the open doors.

"That's the place."

"What time?" he asked with a grin.

"I'll take that as a yes, and I'll call for a reservation and see." After a couple of minutes on the phone, Rick reported, "Dinner at seven. The three of us. Paula is meeting friends." This place is about two blocks, from here, Kate. How do you feel about walking? Would you rather I call the car?"

Ahmed was treated to the signature Beckett eye roll. "For two blocks? I think I can walk that far. Geez, Castle. You're acting like a rich guy again."

"Just don't want any setbacks now that you're a little better," he said mischievously. "And I _am_ a rich guy. I wouldn't mind if you wanted to take advantage of that more often."

"I'm not like your other women, Castle, remember? I'm not looking for ways to spend your money."

"There are no other women anymore, Beckett…except Alexis and Mother, and you actually like them…even though they both find plenty of ways to spend my money."

"I kind of miss them," Kate answered, surprising both of them.

"Me, too." he agreed.

"I found cards for them at the gift shop…and for my dad and Lanie. "You want to sign them, too?"

"Sure. Can I see what you got?"

"Yeah. Be right back."

When she went to get the cards from the bedroom, Rick turned to Ahmed with a satisfied look. "She thought about my family…like it's no big deal."

Ahmed's low pitched chuckle rumbled as he clapped his friend on the shoulder before going back to his room. "Let me know when you're ready to leave," he said, returning the smile and leaving Rick alone with Kate, knowing what a big deal family was to Rick.

Kate returned with the cards, humorous ones, and Rick read them and proclaimed them perfect. They sat at the small table in the room passing some time as each of them decided what to say and traded the cards back and forth so each of them could write their own notes before sealing the envelopes.

"Am I dressed okay for dinner?" Kate asked as they finished. "I can make a quick change if you want."

"This is a casual place. I'm probably overdressed. I'll just lose the suit coat and tie before we leave."

"Too bad. You look pretty hot dressed up like that, but I can take the disappointment if you let me help you take it off," she answered.

"Remove anything you want," he offered.

"If I did that, we might risk your death from natural causes." She accompanied the last two words with air quotes before she ran her hands sensuously across his chest and up to his shoulders to slide the jacket off and down his arms. Dropping it on the closest chair, she then went to work on the tie, loosening the knot and slowly sliding it apart to pull it from under his collar. The top three buttons on his shirt were her next target, using the third one as an excuse to get her hand inside his shirt. "Is that better?" she asked innocently.

"I love your wicked ways, woman. I don't even care how I look at this point. I kind of want to put it all back on and let you do that again."

She gave him an evil grin, took his face in her hands, and kissed him thoroughly before she picked up the jacket and tie, saying, "I'm going to hang these up. You'll need them in good shape tomorrow"

Castle stayed behind watching her walk away in absolute awe, not caring that he had two more suits with him and the hotel staff would see that whatever he needed was pressed if necessary. For the last few days, he had been enjoying the fact that she was responding to his need to be close to her…to touch her…to say he loves her out loud, where they could both hear it. It suddenly dawned on him that she wasn't just responding to his need. Kate Beckett couldn't keep her hands off him, either. She woke up and snuggled closer to him in the morning. She leaned into his side when they sat together. She held his hand. And she touched his arm or shoulder or trailed her fingers across some part of him when she passed him. Beyond that, she had said in plain English that she loves him and wants him…and she kind of missed his family. And he had no doubt that she would come back from their bedroom to find him smiling uncontrollably, possibly non-stop for the rest of the evening.

xxxxx

Castle and Paula left the hotel early the following morning for a meeting with the same movie moguls who had produced the first Nikki Heat film. Afterward, they returned to pick up Beckett and Ahmed for the approximately two hour trip to San Diego. They barely had time for lunch before the afternoon book signing. While Castle charmed his fans, Kate browsed through the shelves at the store and found several books to keep her occupied during their next few stops. She bought the books and found a comfortable place to sit and read…where she could look up now and then and have a good view of Castle. After seeing the number of books he signed as he chatted amiably with his fans, she multiplied that by the number of similar stops on their journey and began to realize that the book tours were not the easy trips everyone seemed to think they were. He was bound to be exhausted by the time the tour was over.

After leaving the bookstore, they went straight to the airport for their flight to Seattle.

"How are you holding out?" Kate asked after they were seated, seat belted, and waiting for take-off.

"I'm tired. How about you?"

"I'm okay. What's next on the agenda? Nothing tonight, is there?"

"No. Not sure I'd survive it. I just want to go to bed with you snuggled up to me."

"I can help with that," she answered with a smile. "Did your meeting go well this morning?"

"Not much progress on either side. We just established that both sides are still interested in the next film. Other people will be involved after this…and your alter-ego will eventually be on the silver screen again.

"Anybody ask you to sign her chest this afternoon?" she teased.

"Two…but I didn't."

"For me?"

He glanced over at her. "Yeah. And for my daughter, who never approved, anyhow. Besides, it isn't as attractive an offer as it used to be. I have something better now." He leaned in and whispered, "But if it's you asking, I'll sign anywhere you want."

She gave him one of her little smirks and reached to take his hand, trying to figure out why she suddenly had such a need to be touching him; and then realizing she didn't care why...and she wondered if it would change after the new wore off the togetherness. She would enjoy the trip, do her best to see that he did, too, and they'd figure out what to do with it when they got back to New York. She knew she had to get herself back under control before they returned to the precinct, otherwise Gates wouldn't want Castle around anymore; and for Kate, that was no longer an option. She needed him there.

She and Castle both needed to indulge themselves in the pleasures of this new side of their relationship for now, though…and it helped to be far enough from everyday responsibilities to concentrate on each other. They would face more of the realities that went with it when their lives returned to their version of normal. Even considering the frequent presence of Paula and the nearly constant presence of Ahmed, being away from the curious eyes of most of their family, friends, and acquaintances made the adjustment a good bit easier. Paula was giving them as much time alone as she could reasonably manage, and Ahmed seemed to have a sixth sense about when to disappear while still doing his job.

Leaning back in her seat, Kate gave Castle's hand a little squeeze and closed her eyes. Without thinking first, she took a deep breath and was pleased to note that it took longer to reach the point of the little burst of pain on her more injured side. Testing, she tried breathing in again, seeing that there was a noticeable improvement; and she smiled as she allowed herself to relax into the drifty feel of the precursor to sleep.

Castle soon fell asleep, too, and they slept for most of the flight to Seattle.

Once in Seattle, all of them dropped their luggage off in their rooms and had another dinner meeting with Paula to map out the next leg of the journey.

Castle had insisted that Paula plan signings for some independent bookstores in places other than large cities. At the time he arranged it, it was because he was looking for some change of pace distractions to keep his mind free of Beckett. He had always enjoyed the wealth of human interaction he could encounter when he travelled. Castle was a people person, his outgoing personality making it easy for him to get most people to warm to a conversation with him. Sometimes people he met in small diners or out of the way places provided at least the beginnings of backstories for characters in his books; and he squirreled away mountains of trivia and colorful expressions to write into their conversations. Besides that, he loved the independent book stores. Each of them had a character all its own…ranging from quirky to erudite, depending on their owners. Some were sandwiched in downtown areas of a city, and others could be in one of a group of small towns and serve the entire region; and he was looking forward to what he'd find.

With their planning done, they all went back to their hotel rooms, anxious to relax for the rest of the evening.

Their room was checked, and Ahmed went back to his room next door. "I'll be up for a while," Ahmed told him. "Get some rest. Tomorrow will be another long day."

Rick thanked him and left his adjoining door closed but unlocked; then he returned his attention to Kate. "Is it too early for a shower and sleep? Sleeping on a plane isn't the same as sleeping in a bed."

"No. You must be wiped out by now. I had no idea until I watched today."

"It hardly qualifies as work compared to what you do, but I'm still tired."

"Then let's get into a nice relaxing shower and a comfortable bed."

They walked to the shower, picking up their robes and leaving a pile of clothing in the bedroom floor. The shower was shared with no intention of things going any farther than making the other partner feel loved, and anticipating sometime in the next few days when they would feel it was safe to do more.

"Where's your shampoo?" he asked.

"I can do it myself. It's easier to reach behind my head now."

"Let me do it anyway. I like washing your hair for you."

"I could have managed alone from the beginning if I'd had to, but I didn't…because I liked it, too," she confessed, handing him the bottle. The way he smiled at her made her want to confess all kinds of things she may have forgotten to mention yet; and she closed her eyes leaning into his touch and letting him know how much she enjoyed his strong fingers massaging her scalp and drawing through the length of her hair. She thought she might try to find one of those confessions each day so she could see more of that smile; then she picked up his shampoo and treated him to the same luxury.

Standing under the streaming water, they touched with only the soapy cloths they each used to bath away the stress of the day for the other. When he got to her back, he commented lightly on the variety of colors in her bruises.

"If it's anything like the ones I can see in the mirror, it's hideous," she answered ruefully. "Do we need to take showers in the dark for a while?"

"Not on my account," he assured her. "I find it rather attractive at the moment. It means it's getting better," he explained, smoothing the washcloth over her back and leaving a kiss on her shoulder, "'cause I know what else goes with getting better." There was another kiss on the other shoulder and a playful nip on her neck with his teeth before his arms circled her waist and pulled her back against him. "I never would have thought I could do this."

"Do what?"

"Be with you like this and not feel like I need to haul you off to my bed like a caveman and have my way with you. Not that I don't want to, but apparently, keeping you safe and healthy is important enough to preserve my self control. I must love you more than I thought I did…something else I didn't know I could do."

She leaned her head back against his shoulder and turned it so she could kiss his cheek. "Come on. Let's dry off, and then go to bed. I want to snuggle up to you and wrap my arms around you while you sleep…as requested."

"I'd like that."

She reached for a towel and dried his face and chest, then his back and arms and across the derriere she often admired as he walked away…and then she handed him the towel, saying that she wasn't sure she was as well in control as he was. He finished drying himself smiling the same kind of smile she had seen the night before. Although she wasn't sure what brought it on, she was pretty certain it had something to do with her; and it made her happy to know it...and wanted to cause more of those smiles. She knew she and Rick were bound to be angry with each other now and then. Royally annoying one another and arguing about it was part of who they were together, and the likelihood that it would stop was practically nil; but she didn't ever again want to cause him the kind of hurt she had seen when he left her apartment the week before.

Once dry, they put on pajamas and Rick took out his shaving kit, which Kate took away from him.

"Don't worry about it tonight. We're tired. If you can stand to look at my multi-colored bruises, I can sleep with your stubble. Sadly, it's not like we're risking whisker burn tonight, anyway."

He didn't argue, just followed her to bed where, as promised, she snuggled up against him, wrapped her arm around him, crossed one ankle between his, and kissed under his chin. "Is this what you wanted," she asked.

"It's perfect," he answered, kissing her forehead. "I sleep much better when you're this close," he admitted.

"Me, too. I knew I needed you, Rick, but it kind of scares me to realize how much."

"It scares me how much I need you, too. I guess we'll have to work that out together."

"We do still have things to work out."

"We can do it. If you love me even half as much as I love you, we can do it."

Kate gave a little puff of a laugh. "As distant a memory as it seems right now, I think I remember we can do it pretty well, too," she said teasingly and patted his backside.

"Kaaaaate," he protested. "No fair. I've been using all the self-control I can find. Don't get me thinking about that when you're all wrapped around me. It's close enough to a miracle that I've behaved this long."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, moving her hand up to his back.

She chuckled, tucked her head chastely under his chin, and settled in for the night.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

For Rick, the next day in Seattle, held another television spot, this one being recorded for a late show, and it took longer than usual. That was followed by another book signing late in the afternoon.

Kate stayed at the hotel most of the day, reading and pushing the yoga a little farther, finding it was easier that day. Her breathing seemed improved, too. She was definitely feeling better. Not quite where she wanted to be yet, but very close.

The four members of their little group were relieved that they could spend a second night at the same hotel…no plane to catch until morning, when they would be on their way to Montana and the first of the independent bookstores. The flight was at eight-thirty the next morning, so they were up early and off again. The book signing went well, then they caught a shuttle to Wyoming to stay overnight, having a reading before the signing at another store the next morning. From there, it was a night in Salt Lake City, another in Arizona, and on to a small town in New Mexico. In all of those places they talked to local people while they were at dinner, or walked a little in town, enjoying the small town atmosphere. To Castle's delight, Kate joined in his game of creating stories about some of the people they met, a couple of them good enough that he jotted them down so he wouldn't forget.

By the time they reached Denver the next afternoon, they were looking forward to the luxury of two nights in one place again. There was nothing scheduled until late the next morning and no plane to catch until the morning after that. It felt like a reprieve. The four of them went to their rooms, unpacked what they needed for the next two days, took a little time to unwind, and went to dinner together, feeling more relaxed than they had for a week. Then they walked around and did some window shopping. Paula saw something she liked in a shop window and started to pull Kate in with her, and Ahmed was about to follow.

"Oh, for goodness sake," Paula snapped at both men. "It's a little dress shop. You can't lose her in here. The poor woman has barely been out of your sight for close to two weeks, and it's the first time in days we've had any real down time. Go next door and get coffee or something, Rick. You can go in and have Ahmed wait at a table out front if it makes you feel better. Give Kate a few minutes to shop without one of you with her. She's probably feeling like a prisoner by now. Besides, we might want to look at something personal. No audience needed. We won't be long. Give her a little girl time."

Rick was taken aback by Paula's defense of Kate...impressed mostly by the thought that she might feel like a prisoner by now. Kate hadn't seemed to resent it, but he had noticed that she seemed to feel better…moved more easily. Even if she didn't feel confined now, it wouldn't be long before Beckett resurfaced and started to rebel. It was good that Paula had pointed it out so he'd be more aware…and ready. He obediently went to get coffee for Ahmed and himself, and they sat outside the coffee house while the women shopped. It was just after dusk on a pleasant evening, and all of them were enjoying the luxury of being unhurried.

"Thanks, Paula," Kate ventured.

"No problem. Is it really bad enough for all the security? I want you to be safe."

"It could be, but we think maybe not. It's a complicated mess that we can't talk about. I'm trying to understand that he worries a lot and isn't taking any chances."

"Then we won't take too long and worry him. That's the dress I want to try on."

"The color will be great on you," Kate commented, and she wandered toward the back of the store to look around while Paula headed for the fitting room. The bruises on Kate's neck had faded first and were nearly gone. She still kept the last of them covered in public, but a few more days and she should feel comfortable with open neck shirts again. She found two on sale and tried them on. On the way to the fitting room she spotted a red, satiny nightgown and smiled. Finding one in her size, she took that with her, too.

Paula came back and modeled the dress, which was perfect for her. She returned with it on the hanger, and both women took their finds to the counter. Castle, partly because he wanted to do something for Kate and partly out of habit, started into the store, reaching for his wallet.

"Stop right there, Castle," Kate told him. "Go back and finish your coffee. I've got this." Not wanting to argue when things were going so well, he went back outside with his friend.

"You don't let him buy you things?"

"Things like this? No. Coffee, lunch, little stuff, maybe…but I buy my own clothes."

"You really aren't like anybody else he's been with. They'd usually leave with multiple bags of things that were cheerfully bought with his money. He does have plenty of it, you know. He'd never miss that little bit."

Kate finished her transaction and Paula handed the saleswoman her dress.

"That has nothing to do with it," Kate answered. "It just doesn't feel right. I don't love him for his money. I just love him."

"And he's gonna love that slinky red thing you bought," Paula said as they were ready to leave the shop.

"That's to celebrate when the bruises are all gone and I feel like myself again."

"It won't matter what you wear. I've seen how he looks at you, Kate…how he treats you. I guess if Richard Castle is off the market, I'm gonna have to figure out how to spin the idea…without losing all his fan girls. One day, after you're sure you're out of danger, of course, will you do a tour with him…sign some books with him? The men would be in the line, too if they thought they'd get to talk to Nikki Heat."

"I'm not Nikki Heat."

"Close enough for the fans."

"What did you get?" Castle asked as the women stepped back out on the sidewalk.

"A couple of new shirts," Kate answered casually. "I'll show you when we get back."

"And I bought the dress that called us in there," Paula answered. "Not that you were interested."

They sat at the table with the men for a bit, and while Ahmed was asking Paula something about the next day's event, Kate leaned over to Rick and whispered, "Look what I've been able to do all day today." She slowly took in a long, deep breath, exhaled, and then repeated it for good measure, without it catching in pain.

"Do it again. I want to be sure," Rick insisted quietly, listening carefully until he was satisfied. "How fast can we get away from them?" he whispered.

"Not nearly fast enough for me," she whispered back. "You're going to be lucky to get any sleep at all tonight.

"I'm okay with that. Look for an opening. You're about to see a lack of patience."

The hotel was only a few doors from the coffee house. The couple sat and talked easily with the other two for a few minutes before Rick stood, took Kate's hand, pulled her up with him, and then announced, "Kate and I are going to head back to the hotel."

"I guess we ought to go, too, Paula answered. "I don't really want to carry this dress around too long anyway, and you're going to want Ahmed to go back with you. "I think I'll take a long bubble bath and start a new book."

Ahmed and Paula rose to go with them, and in spite of their mutual impatience, Castle and Beckett managed to walk at a reasonable pace back to their room, saying goodnight to Paula. Ahmed did his security check and left them alone, then they indulged in a stream of kisses that lacked any restraint at all, and they left a trail of discarded clothing from the door to the bedroom.

Rick snatched back the covers and breathlessly promised to be careful.

"I don't want to be careful," Kate answered as they none too carefully fell into bed.

"But if we're careful, maybe we can keep each other awake until morning. We don't want to use up all your energy too fast."

"Okay. Maybe I can live with careful for now."

Then there were only the sounds of kisses and small groans and soft whimpers of pleasure, and the quiet sounds of love making. When they moved apart to lie side by side, there was a resounding belly button kiss, and they both laughed.

"Must be our bodies rejoicing in relief," he suggested.

"At the risk of inflating your ego even more, you're really good at this," Kate breathed heavily from beside him.

"We're really good at this together," he answered, joining their hands between them. "I love you. Are you okay? Did we overdo it?"

"I'm way beyond okay, and we didn't overdo it. We need to pace ourselves, though. Morning is…"

"You're still talking about…"

"Afraid you can't take it?"

"You'll tell me if you want me to stop? I will if you need me too...no matter where we…"

"I know. I trust you. That's why I'm here…learning about crazy book tour schedules…and how to be in love. Why don't we just let things happen? If all night happens, we'll enjoy it. If it doesn't, we should sleep really well," she answered with a big smile. She turned and stretched out on top of him, her arms crossed over his chest, and rested her chin on her hands, stretching to kiss his chest and neck.

They talked softly, touched gently, and whispered endearments that they now felt free to express, and before long, things were happening again.

**xxxxx**

When everyone met for breakfast, Castle yawned a few times, looking less than wide awake while they were in line at the breakfast buffet.

"Didn't you get enough sleep, Rick?" Paula asked, looking amused.

Before he could answer, Kate yawned, too, and took the blame. It's probably my fault. I didn't sleep much…couldn't seem to be still. It probably kept him from sleeping, too," she answered innocently.

Hearing her answer, and trying hard not to laugh, Rick took a sip of the coffee he had just poured, swallowed it badly, and started coughing.

Ahmed, keeping it to himself, swallowed his suspicions about Kate's statement and pounded his friend on the back a few times.

After seeing that he was recovering, Paula said more sympathetically, "Maybe you should see if you can squeeze in a power nap before you have to go to the bookstore. Wouldn't want your fans to think you'd pulled an all-nighter."

"I might do that," Rick agreed, finally letting a chuckle escape when he had some control of his voice again.

'That nap might be a good idea," Kate encouraged. "It won't take you long to get yourself together. Your clothes for the bookstore are ready and waiting."

Looking at Kate, Paula asked, "Were you in pain again?" She sounded concerned.

"The pain is much better now, thanks," Kate assured her.

After breakfast, Paula checked the time, insisted that Rick needed to look more rested for the audience at the bookstore, and shooed him back upstairs for a nap.

When the elevator doors closed, Castle looked surprised and said, "We forgot Ahmed."

"It's okay. It seems safe here to me, and you know he'll be in the next elevator." Kate seemed to have a moment of guilt. "I'm sorry. I should have thought about your job. I didn't mean to put you at a disadvantage today."

"I don't remember trying to fight you off," he said with a grin, pinning her against the elevator wall for an appreciative kiss. "And it was _so_ worth it. I've been less than rested for these things before and made them work. I only agreed to a nap so I could have you to myself again."

"When we get back home, we'll have to remember that this is what we get when we go at it like a couple of bunnies for most of the night," she answered with the smirky little smile he loved.

"Well, we did sleep a little." he smirked back at her, and placing his hands blatantly on her backside and pulling her close, he asked, "So are we really going back for a nap…or are we hopping down the bunny trail again?"

"You're sleeping," Kate insisted, poking him in the ribs and unsuccessfully trying to contain a grin. "Besides, if your stewardess was being honest…"

"And she was," he assured her.

"Then that's more action than either of us have seen in a very long time, and we might need a little break to recover. Besides, who knows what they'll ask you to read. Especially with some of those excerpts they choose for you, I don't want sleep deprivation to make you read 'Rick and Kate' instead of 'Rook and Nikki.'"

"And considering the reason I'm sleep deprived, it could happen," he agreed mischievously. More seriously, he added, "You could use some rest, too. I kind of forgot myself and took advantage when you were as enthusiastic as I was." He moved his wandering hands up to her shoulders. "It means a lot that you trust me that much now."

"You wouldn't be this sleep deprived if I didn't," she responded.

The elevator stopped, he gave her a little peck on the lips, took her hand, and they went back to their room. "That was quite an explanation you gave Paula. Are you trying to kill me?" he asked with another chuckle as he opened the door.

"I wasn't ready to give them the real reason, but I didn't lie, either," she answered smugly as they entered their room.

"Must be those lawyer genes from your parents," he answered with a grin. "Actually I was pretty proud of your creative word skills. Kind of a turn on."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he answered, pulling her close for a kiss.

"Maybe I'll see how creative I can be after the book signing, but right now we're resting, Writer-man."

He sighed. "If you're going to insist."

"And I am."

"Everything clear in there, Kate," They heard from Ahmed next door.

She checked the bedroom and bathroom and opened the door between the rooms. "Clear." She affirmed. Sorry we forgot. I didn't mean to make your job harder."

"I'll be here if you need me," he answered.

"Thank you," Rick called from the bedroom door, and Ahmed lifted a hand in response and closed the door.

"So we'll set the alarm for an hour, and we both at least rest. Do you want to go to the bookstore with me this time, or would you rather stay here?

"I'm running out of reading material… I'll go with you."

"We have another evening free. The schedule eases up a little after this, and it won't be quite as hectic for a few days. After we finish at the bookstore, we'll find something to do if you want."

"Sounds fine."

After they stripped down to their underwear, Rick set the alarm on his phone and they were under the covers and asleep in no time.

xxxxx

The reading was an interrogation scene that left the audience wanting to know more; and as Kate listened, she was relieved that she didn't have to hear Castle's voice describing Nikki and Rook having a night similar to the one she and Rick had enjoyed the night before. It would have been awkward for both of them. When he finished, she smiled and applauded with the others, then she wandered off into the store while the line at the signing table grew. She found several books that would provide some distraction for the rest of the trip, and again sat down to read as he signed books and charmed fans.

They had a leisurely dinner with Paula and Ahmed, then Castle got out his phone and looked at the movie schedules, eventually finding one they could all agree on. He called Alexis on the way and handed the phone to Kate for a minute. Alexis was beginning to ask for her when he called. They enjoyed the movie, had a drink at the hotel's bar when they returned, and went their separate ways for the night.

xxxxx

When they were back in their room, Castle wrapped Kate in his arms and said, "I've wanted to do this since we left the bookstore."

She had already slid her arms around his neck and found the spot that felt it was created for her head to rest on. "Me, too," she sighed contentedly. "Sometimes I don't know how I lived without this."

He led her to the sofa in the suite and they sat with their feet propped on the coffee table, snuggled against each other, needing the time to be together quietly.

"How are you feeling? he asked, one arm around her shoulders. "Was last night too much? I really should have used more restraint…better judgment."

"I really didn't want you to," she answered, kissing his cheek, "but I admire that you're enough of a gentleman to think about it. For somebody who has your reputation…and probably a good bit of it well-earned…you've managed to hold on to some old-fashioned values."

"Is that what kept you away from me all this time?" he asked tentatively. "My reputation? Did you think I'd lose interest and find somebody else?"

"That was part of it. You kind of did once before."

"I what?" he asked, looking at her in shock. "We never…" Seeing the look of hurt on her face, though, he knew he needed to shut up and listen. "When? What did I do?"

"A couple of years ago…when you spent the summer in the Hamptons. I think, somewhere deep down, I knew how I felt about you then, but I hadn't thought I could count on you for long…didn't want to be just another conquest. Javi said something that made me think I should give it a chance. Tom was a good guy…somebody I knew I could depend on, but I still went back and broke up with him. I was about to tell you I'd go with you for a few days, then Gina showed up. It was what I was most afraid of…how fast I could be replaced."

He turned and pulled her to him with a touch of desperation, almost able to feel the hurt pouring from her at the memory. "Kate, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. You couldn't be replaced, even then. I settled for somebody else because you were with somebody else. I saw you with Demming, and you looked relaxed and happy, and I wanted you to be happy; but it broke my heart that it wasn't with me. You had planned a weekend with him that told me you weren't available, and I had to respect your choice. When we were married, Gina always loved the house in the Hamptons. She called about something else, found out I'd be there alone, and asked if she could come along. I didn't have a reason to say no. If I'd known..."

"I believe you now, but then…it was harder."

"Did you ever really love Josh?"

"I tried to. I wanted to. He's a good man, but he wasn't you. Even when I was trying hard to make it work, you were always between us."

"The heart wants what the heart wants?"

"I guess so. Did you think you were falling in love with Gina again?"

"It was more like I was trying not to remember that I had fallen in love with you and couldn't have you. Gina filled an empty space. She was nostalgia...somebody familiar. It didn't take long to remember what wasn't there before, why it didn't work the first time...and how different it was with you. We let it go on longer than it should have…I guess because neither of us wanted to be the one to say it wasn't working. What do I need to do to convince you there won't be anybody else now?"

"Nothing. I think I'm the one who needs to be sure you can trust me. For a while, I may need a little space now and then; but it won't be for long, and it won't be because I don't want us to make this work. Will you try to remember that?"

"Are you still okay with this trip? I know I tend to hover when I'm worried about somebody I love, and you probably think the security is a little over the top. Was Paula right? Are you starting to feel like a prisoner? We could..."

"I'm okay. While I really couldn't defend myself, I actually stopped being stubborn long enough to be glad somebody was here. I realize that doesn't sound like me, and I'm not sure where it came from; but it did make me feel better. I'm feeling better now, and maybe a little confined; but I'm here because I want to watch you work for a change…to have time with you. Both of us need that."

"I do need that. I'd send Ahmed back with you if it's too much for you, but I'd rather not. And I'd like to hear from Smith one more time before I give up on the security."

"Listen to me," she said firmly, cupping his cheeks in her hands, "I don't want to go home without you. If Ahmed is willing to put up with letting me get out a little, I think I can avoid melting down and embarrassing you in front of your friends. I feel better, now, though; and I need to start getting out and running, or going to a gym, doing something more active."

"We were pretty active last night," he answered suggestively from between her hands…relieved that he wasn't smothering her…yet.

"Yeah, but I can't do that while you're at a book signing," she answered, pulling his face to hers for a kiss and then moving her hands to his shoulders.

"I'm not at a book signing now."

"No, you're not."

"More sleep tonight, though?"

"We'll see what happens?" she asked seductively.

"Maybe. I'm trying hard to take care of you."

"I know."

He stood, took Kate's hand, and pulled her up with him; then he held her and slowly, teasingly, kissed her cheeks, her face, her lips, and her neck repeatedly as he walked her backward toward the bed and closed the bedroom door behind them, both of them laughing softly as they moved.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Another morning, another airport. They were up early and going through security before seven-thirty, and the four sleepy members of the book tour party found a coffee shop across from their gate to provide a caffeine boost before boarding. They found a table and sat down, and once the caffeine kicked in, Paula went over the upcoming schedule again.

They would be in Dallas for a local live television spot around noon and in a big bookstore in a mall at six-thirty. The next two days were free, and Kate asked why. They hadn't had an entire free day since the first day of the tour.

"We always plan a couple of extra days when we get to Dallas," Paula explained. "My family is from Brooklyn, but my sister met a guy from Texas, got married and moved south. It gives me a chance to see her for a little while."

"And there's an old friend of the family I always visit when I'm here…somebody I want you to meet, Rick added. "I'll tell you about him later. Our flight should be boarding in a few minutes. We should probably head that way."

Once they had boarded and were settled on the plane, Kate asked again about the family friend she was about to meet.

"His name is Mackenzie Barton. Everybody calls him Mack. When I was ten, Mother and I moved in at his ranch for a couple of years before Mother got her big break; and then we moved to New York permanently. He's the closest thing to a father I ever had."

"And I get to meet him tomorrow?"

He smiled when Kate looked excited about it. "No…"

"No? You're going without me?"

"No, you don't meet him tomorrow. I've arranged to rent a car to drive there after the book signing, so you meet him tonight. The ranch is outside Fort Worth, so it won't be too late when we get there. Tomorrow, we have all day at the ranch, then we'll leave the next day after lunch." He beamed a smile at her. "I still can't believe you're just following wherever I take you."

"Don't expect it to last much longer. When we're back at work, you're on my turf again."

He answered quietly, trying to keep their conversation between only them. "Ooooo. Beckett is rising from the ashes. I've kind of missed her, but new Kate has made some serious inroads."

"As hard as it is to admit it, I kind of like the new Kate, too. She's feeling a lot freer than the old one."

"You know I love all sides of Kate Beckett, right? Some of them I like better than others," he added with a devilish smile, "but I love the unabridged version…have for a long time."

"I love the unabridged Richard Castle, too. I have to admit to worrying about how we're going to manage this when we get home, though."

"Let's talk about it tomorrow. The ranch is a great place to relax. Talking is easy there…open space, horses, cattle, big, old-fashioned front porch, iced tea, lightning bugs…mosquitos."

"You had me relaxing…right up to the mosquitos," she answered, smiling at how fond he obviously was of the place.

"Ceiling fans on the porch…keeping the air moving helps a little."

"Can we go riding?"

"We'll talk to Ahmed about it. Security…there's a lot of open space…a lot of unwanted opportunity for anybody..."

"I get it," she sighed. "but it's getting old, having to worry about it all the time."

"If not this time, I'll bring you back when we know you're safe.

**xxxxx**

The flight was short, but once in Dallas, the schedule was tight. When they reached the hotel, Castle barely had time to dress for the show and leave for the television station. Kate opened the adjoining door between their room and Ahmed's and knocked on the one on his side. When he appeared at his door, she asked, "After I put a few things away, do you suppose we could go for a short run?"

"Are you sure you want to run in this heat? You your strength is just coming back."

"I haven't been able to work out for two weeks, and I need to do something. Just a mile or two? I need to see what I can do."

"I train my security people myself. If I see that you're not ready for more, will you stop?"

"Can we find a gym instead? I'll listen if you think I'm pushing too hard, and we'll be indoors."

"I will see what can be found."

"Thanks, Ahmed. I'll find some workout clothes."

He suspected Kate would want something similar to the workout area at the precinct, so Ahmed made a few phone calls and found a gym that seemed appropriate. He then put on his own workout clothes and called into her suite, "Are you ready?"

"Any time."

"Then let's go."

At the gym, Kate started sensibly, ramping up as much as she felt she could. Then she wrapped her hands, put on her gloves, and Ahmed held the heavy bag for her as she seemed to be taking her anger out on it.

"You are imagining the man who injured you?"

She answered between punches. "And the one who killed my mother…and the one who killed my captain…and a few others.

"Anger can help, but not in situations like the one where you were injured. You went into battle and attacked your opponent in anger, didn't you?"

"I should have known better," she answered, stopping for a moment.

"Other than his strength and training, the man who attacked you was effective because he used no emotion, only focus. Anger is human nature, but it distracts you in a fight. Separate yourself from the anger and use only its energy to focus your strength. Hold the bag for me."

Kate had trouble holding the bag steady because, with his larger size and weight, Ahmed punched with all the strength Kate had for hers, but his punches were well-aimed, efficient, and effective.

"Impressive," she observed. Closing her eyes and trying to separate the anger and the energy, she said, "Let me try again."

Ahmed held the bag again and Kate made an effort to use his advice. She wasn't as efficient as he had been, but it was better than before…better than the rooftop.

"Improvement," he said. "Once more." He watched and evaluated as Kate made another effort. "Again," he insisted and watched and offered advice as each effort was better than the last. "I knew you were a warrior," he said triumphantly.

"I could feel the difference, but it wasn't easy."

"It will come."

"Do you train anyone other than your own people?"

"For you and Rick, I would find time."

"I might take you up on that. Good workout. Thank you."

"That is probably enough for today. I would not want to return to the hotel and explain to Rick that I allowed you to re-injure something."

"Neither would I," Kate answered, with entirely different reasons in mind.

As she took off her gloves and unwrapped her hands, she asked, "Who makes you angry enough to focus that much energy in a punch?"

"Those who caused my family to flee our country in fear of our lives," he answered without hesitation. "Those who killed so many only to hold on to power..."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"It was years ago, but the anger still returns at times. You understand such anger, I think. Rick has told me of your mother…and your present situation."

"I do understand."

xxxxx

The rental cars were brought to the hotel and packed with their luggage before they left for the bookstore. The book signing went well, and Kate brought back more books. Paula left in her car to visit her sister, and the other three members of the party headed for the ranch.

"Have you been to the ranch before, Ahmed?" Kate asked.

"Several times," he answered. "It will be a nice break from a book tour."

"You're going to like Mack," Rick chimed in. "And Mack is going to like you. You actually want to get close to a horse."

"Did he meet Meredith and Gina?"

"He did, and he wasn't impressed. They didn't want to get near the barn, let alone a horse. Alexis loved it here…still does."

"Tell me about the place."

"Lots of wooden fencing," Rick started. "Looks like it fell right out of an old western movie. There's a good-sized Spanish style house…a big front porch with rocking chairs and one of those big old sofa sized gliders."

"There was one of those at my grandparents' house. I had forgotten about them," Kate said with a big smile. "I used to love that thing when I was a kid."

"Me, too."

"There is a lot of open space," Ahmed added. You can walk without finding buildings, the way I could in my country near the village where I grew up. And there are animals…sounds of nature, not sounds of traffic. It is a calming place."

Kate looked over at Rick and could see the calming effect of just thinking about it. She smiled. "It sounds amazing. I can't wait for tomorrow when I can see it."

"Tonight you will meet Mack," Ahmed answered with a chuckle. "That will be enough."

"Mack is an experience," Rick agreed, glancing over at her as he drove. "He's a big guy, as tall as Ahmed…has a heart as big as Texas, and a personality to match. You'll see for yourself before long."

"I'm looking forward to it," Kate answered.

After that, all three of them settled into a comfortable silence, interspersed with brief conversation as they rode.

xxxxx

Eventually Rick turned off the main road and on to a small side road. About half a mile from there, he turned on a narrower road, which was the half mile long entrance to the ranch.

When they drove up, they were met by several barking dogs and a tall, well-built man in his early sixties with a mustache and a shock of white hair reminiscent of Mark twain. He had the look of someone who spent a lot of time in the sun, his tanned face sporting a big smile. "Ricky! Welcome back!" He grabbed Rick in a big, solid, fatherly hug and pounded his back with one hand as he squeezed.

Kate had to laugh, half expecting to see Castle lifted off the ground at any second.

When Mack finished off by shaking Rick's hand, his next target was Ahmed, who smiled broadly and accepted the obviously not unexpected Texas sized hug as Mack enthusiastically said, "Good to have you back, too. One day you're going to have to leave this one home," and pointed his thumb over his shoulder toward Rick, "and bring that family of yours out here to spend some time."

"They would enjoy that," Ahmed agreed, engaging in the vigorous handshake that followed.

When he turned his attention to Kate, she found herself wondering if she was about to be picked up off her feet and hugged to within an inch of her life…not sure how to react, no matter what happened.

Mack stood for a moment and just looked at her. "Well, Ricky, she's every bit as pretty as you said she is."

"Hi, Mack. I'm Kate Beckett," she said. She started to hold her hand out, then thought again and opened her arms for a hug.

Mack smiled as wide as he did for the men, looking pleased, and wrapped his arms around her, with the same enthusiasm but less gusto than he had the others. "I'm glad to finally meet you, ma'am. Ricky's been talking about you for a while now."

"It's good to meet you, too. You _will_ be sure I leave with a few blackmail stories, won't you?"

Turning to Castle with a twinkle in his eye, Mack said, "You might have met your match, here, boy."

"I think you could be right," he answered, looking at Kate proudly.

Mack started up the porch steps. "Well, come on in. Let's get inside."

The four of them sat in the front room with drinks from Mack's liquor cabinet and talked, the men catching up about family, friends, and what was going on in their lives, and occasionally asking Kate about her father or things she and Rick had worked on together.

Kate was fascinated to see Rick's interaction with the other two men. She had seen him with Ryan and Esposito and some of the other men at crime scenes, making guy jokes and goofing around at the precinct, and she knew he wouldn't back away from danger when something had to be faced, but this was different. There, he was Richard Castle…rich guy/writer turned almost police detective…who'd had to earn his place there. This was Rick/Ricky, separate from anything she had known of him…a place he had earned by simply being himself…and a maybe a bit more masculine an incarnation than the one in the city, not that there was anything wrong with that one. He seemed comfortable with himself in either place. She was happy mostly observing, and it was an interesting mix to observe. There was Rick's smooth voice, used to delivering presentations, Ahmed's wonderful accent and rather formal English, Mac's Texas drawl…and the three men presented a rather testosterone filled atmosphere. Then there was her sometimes clipped New York detective voice…the only female voice in the house at present. The eclectic group made her smile. It was so much Castle. His source of friends was apparently as wide and varied as his interests.

In the midst of her musings, another female voice inserted itself from the back of the house. "Ricky, is that you? I saw the car go by and couldn't wait 'til morning."

Castle got up and met Rosa at the door with a big hug. "It's me…and Ahmed…and Kate. I'm glad you couldn't wait."

"Kate, it's good to finally meet you. We've heard so much about you, we almost feel like we know you already."

Kate stood to meet the older woman, again deciding whether to shake hands or offer a hug; but the decision was taken out of her hands when Rosa pulled her into a nearly bone crushing hug. Apparently, these Texans didn't pussyfoot around their hugs.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Rosa was a medium height woman in her late fifties or very early sixties with short, dark hair. She was Hispanic, just a bit on the heavy side, but she appeared fit. There was an appearance of confidence about her and a hint of mischief in her eyes as she looked back and forth between Kate and Rick. "So he finally caught you, huh? Took him long enough."

"She just got here, Rosa. Behave yourself," Rick told her good-naturedly.

"Come on, Kate. Let's send the men to get the bags from the car. I'll show you where to find your room."

Ahmed had gone upstairs to take a look around and was on the way back down when the other men went outside to the rented SUV.

"It's this way," Rosa said, and led Kate through another room to a stairway to the second floor. "This was Ricky's room when he was a boy…only cleaner now."

Kate laughed. "Was he a terrible mess?"

"Sometimes. Does he still get obsessed with things? He used to zero in on something and work on it for days at a time…everything else fell along the wayside." Rosa turned serious again. "You're really together this time? You won't hurt him, will you? Those other two he brought here…well, I won't speak too ill of them; but they weren't good for him. In it more for themselves…and his position…and his money."

Apparently Rosa didn't pussyfoot around what she wanted to know, either.

They reached the door of the room, a good sized room with a large bed and a several big windows.

"Yeah. He still gets obsessed sometimes," Kate answered as they walked in. As she looked around the room, imagining Rick as a boy of ten, she said firmly, "And I'm in this with him, Rosa. It's new, but we're giving it our best shot."

"He's a good man. He deserves to be wanted for that."

"I know."

Rosa gave Kate a long appraising look. "I think maybe you do," she answered, and she started toward the door of the room. "Come on. I'll show you where to find the kitchen, in case you want something during the night."

They walked to the kitchen in the back of the house, Rosa pointing out various items or features of the house on the way and Kate commenting or asking a question now and then, the two of them making snippets of general conversation as they moved around. By the time they returned, the men had the luggage in the rooms and were standing in the front hall, and Kate and Rosa joined them as Mack was talking to Ahmed.

"Go to bed and get some rest, Ahmed. Johnson and Santiago will have people helping them watch the house tonight…people we've known since they were kids. They can sleep tomorrow, and Emilio and his men will help you out. Ricky's got her now. We're gonna help you make sure he keeps her."

"Thank you, Mack. I've been here often enough to trust them."

"Go on," Castle told Ahmed. "Just sleep tonight without worrying for a change. Take a break."

"My arm does not need to be twisted, my friend. Call if you need me."

"I will," Castle answered as Ahmed walked away.

"You mean more people are being inconvenienced because of me?" Kate interjected. "Castle?"

"We'll talk about it later, but for now, it is what it is."

"You call him by his last name?" Mack asked, surprised.

"And he may call me Beckett or Detective before we leave. We were Castle and Beckett to one another at the precinct for most of four years. Habits." She shrugged.

Mack smiled at them with a fatherly sort of look. "It's been a long process, hasn't it? Rosa showed you your room. You okay with that, Kate?"

"I'm okay with it," she assured him, appreciative of his understated offer of her own room if she wasn't comfortable sharing Castle's. Looking around at them, she said, "I think I'll say goodnight. I know where the room is now, so I'll go on up to bed. Thank you for the warm welcome." Directing her next words to Castle, she added, "You don't have a lot of time here. Stay and talk to Mack and Rosa for a while. You know you want to."

Castle walked with her just into the next room. "Thank you," he said softly, stroking his hand over her upper arm. "I won't be too long."

"You didn't rush me with my dad, and they're obviously like family to you," she answered just as softly, one hand on his chest. "Take all the time you need. I love you, and I already appreciate them." With a mischievous look, she added, kissing his cheek and whispering next to his ear, "If I'm asleep, you can wake me up if you want to…Ricky."

He smiled the smile she loved, the one that made crinkles at the corners of his eyes, and kissed her goodnight. "I love you," he whispered back.

She touched his cheek with her hand and let it trail away as she turned and walked toward the stairs. Mack and Rosa called "Goodnight" behind her and watched Rick as he watched Kate walk away.

"The boy's got it bad, Rosa. You ever seen him look at anybody like that before?"

"Not that I can remember."

"Guilty," Castle answered, returning to where they stood.

Mack slung his arm around Castle's shoulders and squeezed the one under his hand. "It's high time you found somebody worth your trouble. I think I might like this one."

"She wants to go riding tomorrow, but I'm not sure it's a good idea. It might be okay except for that ridge on the north end."

"I'll talk to Ahmed in the morning. We'll see if we can work something out." Mack leaned back in his chair. "So you finally found one that appreciates a horse? This one has promise."

Mack grinned, and they laughed, and Rosa agreed and said her goodnights, too. "See you at breakfast, Ricky," she said as she went back to her car.

Then Rick and Mack drifted into conversation.

"Sit. I'm gonna get us another scotch." Rick sat in the chair across from the one he knew was Mac's favorite, and Mack asked as he handed Rick his drink, "Is there really that much danger for her?"

"We can't say for sure. It's a bad situation, though," Castle told him. "It's the same man who had her shot last year. She's just now recovering from the last round with his hit man, and we don't know what's going on. It's likely to be a case of better safe than sorry, but I won't take the chance." He described the obsession, the rooftop battle and the ensuing injuries. "But she's given it up. We hope that will appease him."

"You're sure? They could come after you, too, you know…or Alexis, or Martha."

"They could have done that any time in the past couple of years, anyhow; but they seem focused on Kate. It's a long, complicated story. I'll tell you about it one day, if anybody ever solves it."

"Fair enough." Mack took a sip of his drink and changed the subject. "So Alexis is all grown up. Valedictorian, huh? You must have been one proud daddy."

"Oh, yeah. She was great, too. You know how she is. She researched good valedictory addresses, then decided they were all cliché and came up with her own…and it was right to the point and right from the heart. She's an amazing kid. Did I tell you that she finished school a semester early and took on an internship with the medical examiner? Not exactly what I would have chosen for her, but she took to it like a duck to water."

"Isn't she a little young for that? I wouldn't have thought they'd let her in."

"She's eighteen now. Legal age for her own decisions. Kind of scary, to tell you the truth. The ME is Kate's best friend, and I think she may have pulled a few strings. And Mother, knowing she has power of attorney for legal decisions for her if she had needed it, agreed without telling me. I think she was giving Alexis the opportunity to see why the police work is important to me. My childl was a little testy about it after Kate was shot."

"She was scared. Did it help?"

"Yeah. It still scares her, but she understands. She's back with the ME until the end of June, then she's taking some time to get ready for college. Anyhow, the end result of all that is that my little girl has decided to be a doctor."

"Well, tell her any time she needs a break, she can come here and unwind."

Rick laughed. "Don't say it if you don't mean it. She'll be here, probably with a couple of friends, before you can blink your eyes."

They talked about Alexis for a while, then Mack asked, "And Kate. You think it's gonna work out this time?"

"There's more hope of that than we ever had before."

"What makes this time different?"

"She came to me. After she was hurt the last time, she came to me. She's been honest with me about everything. Before…we never talked about what was between us. We always let it be the elephant in the room, but we aren't dancing around it anymore. There are things we still have to work out, but I think we're both willing to make the effort now. "He took another sip of his drink and looked down. "Mack, I haven't ever been in love like this. I don't know what I'll do if we can't make it work. I need her the way I need air.

"Where do you see it taking the two of you?"

"I want her to be the wife I can get old with. I can see her still shooting come-backs at me when we're eighty-five…still enjoying walks along the beach more than designer based shopping trips with my credit card. I don't have to always impress her with high-powered events or fancy cars or expensive gifts. I would, but she doesn't want me to."

"Have you asked her yet?"

"It's still a little early for that. I don't want to scare her off."

"Isn't that what you were dancing around all these years…trying not to scare her off? If she loves you, don't wait too long. No offense, boy, but you ain't getting any younger, and the wedding night won't be near as much fun if you wait 'til you're eighty-five."

Rick laughed and agreed that Mack had made a good point.

"At least test the waters and tell her that's where your mind is., Mack suggested. "From what you've told me, she's a woman who won't make promises until she's ready to keep them. If she's being honest, she'll tell you where her mind is, and then you can work it out. Never saw any sense in elephants in the room myself. They take up way too much space…hamper activity."

"Good advice, Mack. I'll do that…first opening I find."

Their conversation wandered to the ranch, the people Rick knew when he was a boy, Mack's latest, and less than successful, romantic interest; and when they finally parted to get some sleep, it was the wee hours of the morning.

Rick didn't wake Kate up. He just slipped into the bed quietly and enjoyed that even her sleeping self snuggled against him as if their bodies were magnetically attracted to one another. After that and the long, easy conversation with Mack, he almost immediately fell into a deep, contented slumber.

xxxxx

Kate woke first in the morning, knowing Castle had been awake half the night; and she didn't wake him. She was excited about seeing the ranch in the light of day, so she dressed and went downstairs quietly, going out the front door to stand on the porch and look around. It was as Rick had described it. There were more than half a dozen chairs spaced for conversation, separated by the front door; and there were two ceiling fans, one on each end of the porch, with long pulls to turn them on or off. Then she remembered the glider, found it and fell into the seat with a big smile, pushing herself back and forth much more easily than she could when she was a child. Enjoying the soothing movement of the glider, she surveyed the space beyond the porch…open space, flat ground. She could see the small road where they had come in the night before stretching far enough out that she couldn't see the end. Somewhere way off in the distance, she imagined she heard the lowing of cattle, but she couldn't see any from where she was. There was another house that looked like it must be near the end of the entrance road, and she could hear the occasional sound of horses not too far away and voices calling out now and then getting the day's chores started.

Mack opened the front door with a cup of coffee in hand. "Ricky's mentioned your caffeine habit. Rosa said she'll be out in a minute with yours," he said, raising his cup as if in salute before he sat down in the nearest rocking chair. "She was putting it on a tray when I left." He took a sip of his coffee before saying anything else. You're up early."

"I'm usually up early," she answered. "Sometimes out in the middle of the night. Murderers aren't a thoughtful sort.

"I hear you can hold your own with the bad guys."

"Most of them. I guess Rick mentioned the last one."

"He did. You doing okay now?"

"I think so. Everything is about healed."

"You're good for him, you know."

"Sometimes I wonder, but I know he's good for me."

"That's how it ought to be," Rosa interrupted as she backed out, pushing the door open with her back and depositing the tray she carried on the table between the glider and the chair. "And make no mistake, you're good for him. There's something in the air around the two of you that tells the story."

"You didn't have to go to this much trouble for me. I could have come to the kitchen," Kate answered, instantly drawn to the coffee. "But thank you…a lot."

As Kate poured herself a cup of the steaming brown liquid, Rosa said, "Breakfast will be ready in half an hour. Don't forget to wake sleeping beauty upstairs in time."

Before she took a sip from her cup, Kate laughed and promised to do that. Taking the first sip, she closed her eyes and nearly moaned in pleasure. "Great coffee, Rosa," she called just before the storm door closed behind the older woman.

They had sat and sipped coffee for a couple of minutes before Mack asked, "Want to walk out to the barn before breakfast?"

"You don't need to ask twice. I'll need to get back in time to wake sleeping beauty, though."

"I could do it. When he had to go to school and wasn't waking up, I'd just go in and yank the covers off him."

Kate grinned. "And how did he handle that?"

"Not well, as I recall," Mack answered with a mischievous smile, "but it made me feel a lot better."

Kate laughed. As they got closer, the wonderful smell of coffee was mixed with the familiar smell of barn and horses. It briefly registered in Kate's brain that it ought to be a little gross, but it didn't affect her that way at all. It was connected to two things she loved.

"Rick said you asked about riding today. Have you done much riding?"

"I used to when I was younger. I had the standard girl crush on horses when I was about twelve. My parents were both lawyers, so they could afford to indulge me in it. I took lessons for a few years and rode when I could after that…until I hit the rebellious stage and started riding the motorcycle…when I was seventeen."

Mack laughed out loud. "I'll bet a couple of lawyers loved that for their little girl."

"Oh, yeah."

"You probably had an English saddle. I got a couple of those around here somewhere, but they'll take more dusting off than the western ones."

"When I was at Stanford, I had a friend whose family had horses. We'd go up every few weeks and ride. I think she missed her horse more than her parents. They rode western. I doubt we'll be riding, though. Rick is worried about security…probably that ridge I saw on right on the way in. Everything else is flat enough to see anybody who doesn't belong here unless they're in one of the outbuildings or behind one."

"You caught all that walking to the barn sipping coffee, huh? You need a job?"

"What I need is a little more freedom. Looking over your shoulder all the time gets old, but I understand the security is necessary for the time being…Rick needs it as much as I do. He worries."

"He's always worried about people he loves. He can't help it."

"I know."

"I've got a couple of things for you." He went to the tack room and came back with two pairs of boots and handed her one of them…the ones she had worn for work all winter."

"How did you get these?"

"Rick sent them before you left on your trip, apparently snitched 'em from your closet while you were packing and hid them…so I could get these made for you." He handed her the others, a new pair of cowboy boots. "He said if you visit a ranch in Texas, you need cowboy boots."

"That man is incorrigible…and full of surprises."

"Emilio and some of the others are riding with Ahmed to check out the ridge."

"Ahmed rides?"

"He does now. We got him on a horse the first time he was here, and he loved it, took right to it."

"And all that is for me? You're going to way too much trouble."

"We've been patrolling it for years anyhow…checking for signs of trouble. We know all the places people would usually hide….and a few they haven't found yet. So you might still be going riding, young lady. They'll be back for breakfast. We'll see what they have to say."

"Thank you, Mack," she said with a huge smile. "Since he put you to all that trouble, I think I'll try on the boots. See what Rick thinks." She sat down on a bench and changed shoes, pulling the boots on. They were a little stiff, but not as much as she had expected. Otherwise, they were perfect. "How did you manage such a good fit?"

"He said to spend whatever I had to, so they were custom made. He told me you don't let him spend money on you, but don't give him a hard time. If you like them, it's gonna make him real happy, and I like seeing him happy."

"Me, too. I guess I should let this one slide." Suddenly aware that this man might be the closest thing to a father-in-law she would ever know…and wondering how that thought even got into her head…she gave him a big hug, which he returned willingly. "Thank you, Mack…for taking care of the boots…and for taking care of the boy."

"What is this?" They heard booming from the open barn door. "I sleep late, and you make a move on my woman?"

"I got a feeling I wouldn't have the chance of a snowball in hell of getting away with that, Boy. I think this one's all yours."

By that time, Rick was by her side, wrapping his arm possessively around her shoulders and giving her a quick kiss.

"Good morning," she said, kissing his cheek. "Thank you for the boots. They fit perfectly, and I love them."

He stepped back a little and checked them out with a flirty smile. "They look good. Those legs do wonders for them." He looked pleased and put his arm around her again, pulling her closer.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

A loud clanging from the old, triangular dinner bell at the back door of the house called the trio in the barn to breakfast.

"You still use one of those?" Kate asked, smiling in fascination.

"We still need to know when to eat, and we're still spread out around the ranch when it's time. Haven't found anything that works better yet," Mack answered matter of factly. "Rosa rings it early enough to give us time to put things away, get in, and wash up; but you'd better show up in her time limit or have a really good reason, not an excuse. We've got a little time before the others get back, though, if you feel like communing with a horse."

Kate walked over to one of the two horses still in the barn, a chestnut with a white star, and stroked down to its muzzle, petting it and talking to it softly. Mack and Rick watched as she and the horse seemed to be bonding.

"That's Betsy, Kate. Looks like she wouldn't mind riding with you if things look okay for that."

"You hear that, Betsy?" Kate said to the horse. "If it's okay, we're going out for a good run. I guess that one is for Rick?"

"Yep. That's Sam." Rick answered, and Kate went to meet Sam, too.

"Aren't they usually out of the barn by now?" Rick asked.

"I got sidetracked by this pretty little thing you brought with you," Mack answered, swinging an arm around Kate's shoulders, a fatherly looking gesture. "Nah. I left the two I thought you'd be riding so it would be easier to saddle them up after breakfast if it looks safe out there. If not, I'll come back and take them out then. And speaking of breakfast, we don't want to push our luck."

They went back to the house and cleaned up for breakfast. Entering the kitchen, Kate was surprised at the amount of food on the long table. "How many will be here for breakfast?" she asked.

"Emilio and Ahmed and the four men who rode out to the ridge with them this morning…and us," Rosa answered.

"It looks like enough for twice that many." Kate answered.

Rosa smiled, "I always cook big when Ricky's here…and I didn't know what you like, so there's a little of everything. And with the crowd I see coming in, I can guarantee it will all be gone before they leave the table; so don't be shy about getting what you want."

"It looks wonderful."

"Get in here and wash up," Rosa told the men coming in the back door. "It's getting cold."

In no time, they were all back and finding places at the table. Conversations went on around the breakfast meats, eggs, pancakes, grits, biscuits, white gravy, fresh fruit, and jams and jellies that filled their plates; and Kate watched in amazement as, just as Rosa said, the massive quantities of food rapidly disappeared.

One of the first topics of conversation was Ahmed telling Kate that they found no reason she and Rick couldn't take the horses out and see the rest of the ranch. She thanked all the men, apologizing for causing them extra work; but her smile when she heard the news would have been enough to get her message across…and make it worth the effort.

When everyone had finished eating, she helped clear the table and was about to help with the dishes when Rosa ran her out of the kitchen, telling her, "Go saddle up. It's getting hot out there already. Enjoy your ride before it gets worse."

"Thanks, Rosa. Breakfast was delicious."

"You ready?" Rick asked.

"Oh, yeah."

Mack went with them and brought Kate everything she needed, including a cowboy hat. "It was supposed to go with the boots," he told her as he plopped it on her head. "I forgot."

xxxxx

They saddled the horses and led them out of the barn, then mounted and walked them for a while, talking as they ambled along.

"Tell me about Mack and Rosa. I thought at first she might be his wife, but it sounds like she lives somewhere else."

"Rosa manages the house and the household accounts. Her husband manages the ranch. One son, Emilio, runs the barn…sees to the cattle. Mack doesn't have any other family, so the place will probably go to Rosa's family eventually. She has a couple of others who take care of the kitchen most of the time now; but when I'm here, she always takes over. She looked out for me a lot when Mother was away, scolded me right along with her own boys…still mothers me from time to time. The house down near the front gate is hers. She and her husband started working for Mack's father not long before he died. When they were about to have their second child, Mack gave them that piece of property near the road to build a house. It's worked out well for all of them."

"What about Mack?

"You're asking what Mack meant to me?"

"Yeah. It's fun imagining you as a little boy."

"Well, I was kind of little when I got here, but I had a major growth spurt before we left. I came here about five feet tall, and left close to six feet and a lot stronger…hormones running rampant, but my mind wasn't ready to be that interested in girls."

"Must have been confusing.

"Sure was. Mother did manage to time everything right, though. I had Mack to help me through it. From the beginning, he let me follow him around, taught me about what he was doing, just talked to me in general, let me ask him dumb questions and didn't laugh at me for asking. I thought the sun rose and set in him. Even after we left here, I'd come back to visit him in the summer or on a holiday now and then. When I needed a man's advice, I could always call him, or get on a plane and visit for a weekend. By the time I needed that kind of advice, Mother could afford the plane fare…and didn't mind getting me out of her hair for a few days.

"Sounds like you were lucky to have him."

"I was." He was quiet for a long moment. "Seeing how men treated my mother made a lot of my decisions for me, but Mack helped with some of those values you talked about…told me how women should be treated. In spite of my reputation, I had some self-imposed limits."

"What did he tell you?"

"That sex is okay, but only if the woman wants it, too. Don't force her…don't even try to talk her into it. Always assume that no means no. That, if you love somebody, you want them to be happy…even if it isn't with you. Don't make promises you can't keep and if you make commitments, don't cheat on them.

"Guess _I'm_ lucky you had him, too."

He smiled at her, and they rode in silence for a while longer.

Watching the herd grazing a good distance in front of them, Kate said, "I heard the cattle this morning. Can we pick up the pace a little and take a look?"

They nudged the horses into a trot and pointed them toward the cattle, enjoying the ride, the company, and the open space that was so different from their everyday surroundings. Rick looked over at Kate and grinned, then cantered off, leaving her behind just to see what she'd do. She caught up in no time, sticking her tongue out at him as she and Betsy matched his pace. They slowed and stopped at a fence near where the cattle were grazing and dismounted, enjoying the slower pace of the atmosphere of the ranch. Wrapping the reins around a rung of the fence, they moved a little away from the horses and rested their arms on the fence, just watching the animals for a while.

"Thank you for bringing me here," she said, glancing over at him. "It's so peaceful. I can see why you and Alexis love it. Did Martha love it, too…when she was here?"

"I think she liked it for a while because Mack was here, but she never really loved the place. She did ride with us sometimes, but mostly it was Mack and me or Rosa's kids and me on the horses. I seem to remember her complaining about the dust and the heat, too."

"How did she go from acting in the big city to living on a ranch in Texas?"

"She was on a television show for a while, which was a good foot in the door for her, but there was a dry spell after that. She had met Mack when he left home to try his hand at running a business in Los Angeles. Mack was one of the very few of her boyfriends who was interested in what was good for me. He spent time with me, and we got along well. Around the same time Mother realized money was about to be a problem again, Mack's dad died. He decided to come back home and run the ranch, and he invited us to come home with him; she took him up on it, and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I spent two years here with the same friends…in the same school. He financed her trips for auditions and kept me here when she was away. He loves kids, and he treated me like family.

"Looks like he still does."

"I had visions of seeing them married and Mack adopting me, but it didn't happen. When she started getting better roles and the money started rolling in, she moved us to New York. He told her to let me come and visit any time I wanted, and I held her to it. It took me a long time to forgive her for taking me away from here."

"Wasn't she in love with him?"

"I think she was in deep like…but not love."

"Was Mack ever married?"

"Once, but it didn't last long. I think Mother might be his Kate Beckett, but he wasn't as lucky as I hope I'm going to be. I always wanted a two parent family like yours. This was the closest thing I ever had to that. But Mother loved me. There was never a time I didn't know I was loved."

"Wasn't there family time with Meredith and Alexis?"

"I had hopes; but by the time Alexis was a few months old, there were signs it wouldn't work."

He took a breath to steel himself, still looking ahead, and took a chance. "After we've had time to decide where things are going, I hope we'll still be together, Kate…and I hope you'll decide you'll marry me. I know you said we don't need to worry, but nothing is a hundred percent foolproof. The way things are going now, it's possible we could make a little Castle, and that would be okay with me. I like being a dad; but if that happens, I'd like to do things in the right order this time…really be in love with the baby's mother first, make commitments to each other, and then find out we're going to have a baby. I won't push you into either of those things if you don't want them, but it seems fair to tell you that's what I imagine for us."

"I'm trying to do this right, too, and trying to be honest. I'm not ready to think that far ahead right now, Rick; but three weeks ago I wasn't ready to admit that I love you…and look where we are now. I've never been so clingy and snuggly, but I can't stop wanting to touch you…can't get enough of being close to you. I've never been this open with anybody before, either."

"I'm not asking for decisions now...just being honest about what I want."

"We've made most of this progress away from our real world, Rick. Can we see how it works there before…"

He looked down, as if afraid to ask the next question. "Are you going to need space as soon as we know you're safe?"

"I don't know. I know that isn't the answer you want, but it's the only one I've got right now."

"You will stay with me until we hear from Smith again, won't you?"

"I'll do that."

"And after that, if you want to be on your own for a while, promise me you'll call or text or something…not just disappear."

"I promise."

"And that you won't stop talking to me…being honest. We can't make this work if we don't do that."

"I may backslide now and then. You know how hard that is for me."

"I do, and it means a lot to me that you're trying so hard. That's all I want…to know you'll keep trying."

She moved away from the fence and slid her arms around him tightly. "I don't know why you decided to love me this much, but I'm so glad you did. I don't even know how to say how much I love you."

He held her as if his life depended on it. "I didn't decide. It just happened…because it was supposed to happen, I think."

"I think maybe I believe that, too."

They stood there holding one another for a long moment, then, with a smile, he pushed both their hats back and kissed her.

"Ready to go back?" Rick asked. "I love that you wanted to ride with me."

"You can have that in whatever context you want, cowboy."

He grinned at her suggestive answer. "Did you scare your parents when you rode?"

"All the time," she answered with an evil grin. "Did you scare Martha?"

"All the time," he answered in kind. Then he challenged, "Race you back," grabbed the reins, and mounted his horse, pulling around in the direction of the house.

She immediately took up the challenge and had mounted hers almost by the time he had. They took off toward the ranch, up to a full gallop in short order, pounding their way back. Several men were on the ridge again, watching and pointing and smiling.

Hearing pounding hooves coming closer, Mack looked up from what he was doing outside the barn and went to check on what was happening. When he saw them, he grinned widely. "Rosa!" he bellowed to the woman on the back porch. "Look at that girl ride!"

By the time they came nearer to the house, they were so close to a draw that neither rider cared who won…the freedom and exhilaration of the ride had taken over. They slowed the pace gradually and managed to reach the barn at an easy trot…out of breath, and laughing, and sweaty. They dismounted, fell into each other's arms, and Rick picked her up and swung her in a circle before he kissed her.

Mack met them with a loud whoop. "Looks like ol' Betsy got a workout today. That was some good riding, young lady."

"Thanks. I haven't done that in way too long," she answered, still not able to contain her smile.

Rick just looked at her with pride. "Come on. We owe these guys a good rub down."

"I can get one of the hands to do that," Mack offered.

"No," Kate insisted. "When you work your horse that hard, you have to be sure it's taken care of."

"That's what you always taught me," Rick countered.

"Suit yourselves," Mack smiled, immensely satisfied at their answers. "I'll get back to work."

Kate and Rick led the horses into the barn, removed the saddles, and walked them for a few minutes to cool them down.

"That was so much fun," Kate said.

"Yeah, it was. I was a little disappointed at first when you decided to ride western instead of English. I was kind of hoping to ride behind you and watch you do that little bouncy thing," he answered with a grin.

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"No disappointment here. You're pretty extraordinary on a horse, as well as anywhere else."

"You're pretty good yourself. I didn't even know you were acquainted with horses…except that poor police horse you insulted with your naked body."

"Hey, my young, naked body wasn't an insult. It was kind of impressive."

"Your old naked body isn't bad, either," she teased.

"Old?! I'm not even close to over the hill yet. And I haven't heard you complaining."

"No disappointment here, either," she assured him flirtatiously as they walked.

They bantered back and forth as they walked, and then took the horses back to the barn and checked their hooves. After getting the brushes and curry combs and giving them good rub downs, they turned the horses out of the barn, halterless and looking as if they felt as free as Kate and Rick did right then. Then the couple went back to the house, arms around each other's waists.

"I wasn't thinking…again. Please tell me your ribs didn't have a relapse after any of that. 'Cause I'm pretty turned on by the whole Kate galloping across the ranch on horseback thing."

"We're okay. I'm breathing just fine," she answered with a grin. "And you looked pretty impressive, too. Think we could sneak away and go to bed early tonight?"

"Think we could say we need showers and clean clothes…and sneak away now?"

"Works for me."

The two of them went back to the house, talked to Mack and Rosa for a few minutes, excused themselves for showers and clean clothes, and returned later…both cleaner and even happier than they had been when they left.

Mack had to go into town unexpectedly that afternoon, and Rick went with him. Knowing that he and Mack would enjoy some time together, Kate stayed at the house. While Rosa and Johnson's wife, Amelia, planned supper, Kate sat on the glider on the porch and read for a while; then the other two women came out with bowls and a bucket of beans to shell for supper.

"I'll help if you'll tell me kid stories about Rick," Kate offered.

"Be right back," Rosa told her, and quickly returned with an extra bowl and another bucket for the shells.

The three women pulled the rocking chairs in a semi-circle around the buckets, and the stories and bean shelling began. When Rick and Mack came back, all three women were laughing.

"Well that's something I never thought I'd see," Rick stated in surprise, looking at the bowl in Kate's lap.

"It was so worth it." Kate laughed. "I have so many blackmail stories…"

"Rosa, what did you tell her?"

Rosa just laughed.

xxxxx

The evening was spent on the dark front porch talking to Mack and Emilio, who offered a few Rick stories of his own. After Emilio was gone, Kate again left Rick and Mack to themselves.

"I'm going to read for a little while and then get some sleep." She leaned over and kissed Rick before she left. "See you in the morning, Mack."

"Night, Kate," he answered. When Kate was inside the house, he told Rick, "I like her, Ricky. She's good people, and anybody with eyes and good sense can see she loves you. Hold on to this one."

"I'm trying, Mack. I'm trying hard."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Morning came, the book tour beckoned once more, and Castle and Beckett were packing suitcases again. Ahmed and the two of them had to meet Paula at the Dallas airport that afternoon for a flight to New Orleans.

There was another big breakfast on the table. Conversation was again easy, and they sat at the table talking long after the meal was over.

"You're gonna come back before long, aren't you…both of you…and bring Alexis? " Mack asked.

"If Alexis and I can't get him out of town, can we come without him?" Kate asked mischievously.

"Hey. You can't come here without me," Castle insisted.

"You come on down here anytime you want, Miss Kate. We just won't tell him," Mack offered.

"You're supposed to be on my side," Rick grumbled good naturedly.

"You're not as good-looking as she is," Mack shot back with a big smile.

"You might be right," Rick answered, looking over at Kate and taking her hand. "But, regardless, we need to get on the road if we're going to meet Paula on time."

"I'll help you with the bags," Mack volunteered.

Kate hugged Rosa before going back upstairs to take one more look around…checking to be sure they hadn't forgotten anything. "I'm glad Rick wanted to bring me to meet all of you, Rosa. I've enjoyed your company. Thank you for making me feel so welcome…and for all the good stories."

"Thank you for making Ricky feel so happy. I hope it works out for the two of you. You seem so right together. And I've enjoyed your company, too."

Ahmed was coming back from checking the rented SUV and putting his luggage in it as Kate was passing the other two men on the stairs. "Almost ready?" he asked.

"I'm just taking one more look…making sure we packed everything," Kate told him.

By the time the bags were in the car, she was coming down the front steps of the porch. Mack gave both Rick and Ahmed a fatherly hug, then Kate hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you for everything, Mack., Kate said. "This is the most relaxing couple of days I've had in months. You made me feel like I belong here. And I think I understand Rick a little better, too. You were a good influence."

"I hope I did him a little good. And you're welcome here any time you want to visit…with or without the boy."

The three departing visitors got into the SUV and waved as they turned on the drive and headed back to the road.

"How could you have never told me about him before?" Kate asked.

"I don't know. I guess you aren't the only one with a few secrets. I think I started to once, and something interrupted. Just never got back to it."

"That place must be your best secret. It's like a whole different world there."

"You needed that, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I just didn't know it until I got there." She thought for a minute and suddenly said, "Do you realize we haven't seen a dead body for over two weeks?"

"Are you missing it, Beckett?" Castle asked, smiling.

"No. But we left your eighteen year old working with Lanie, seeing the dead bodies every day. I'm just realizing how abnormal our normal is."

Ahmed gave an amused little snort from the back seat. "That is only now occurring to you?"

"Shut up, Ahmed," Kate answered with a little smirk.

"Oh, she's ordering you around now. Consider yourself accepted into the inner circle," Rick told him.

Ahmed laughed and they drifted in and out of idle conversation until they reached the airport. The rental car was turned in, and they got themselves to the gate to meet Paula with time to spare.

xxxxx

There was a book signing in New Orleans late the next morning, so they all took advantage of the free evening and walked down Bourbon Street watching the street performers around dusk; then they had dinner and stopped in a jazz club for a while before retiring for the night.

The following day held the book signing and the last plane ride, the one back to New York.

Ahmed had been told that, until they had heard something positive from Smith, Rick wanted him near Kate any time she left the precinct and Joseph somewhere near Alexis. Alexis would do most of her work in the morgue, rather than in the field until Smith reported in again. Someone would also be watching out for Martha.

The plane touched down in New York, and the four members of the book tour breathed a sigh of relief. They could all sleep in their own beds tonight…except Kate, who had promised to stay with Castle, at least until Smith called; but she didn't seem to mind too much. They both knew that they had left their last night outside their real lives behind them for now. It was nice that they had a few days before going back to work, but other factors like family, commitments, decisions, uncertain worries about danger and security, jobs, and two apartments would still figure into daily life again.

They reached Castle's loft a little before Martha and Alexis got home and put all the luggage in the study. "We'll be back in a few minutes, Ahmed," Castle told him. "I need to talk to Kate."

"Take your time," he answered with a smile that showed amused skepticism. "'Talk to Kate' all you want." Then he picked up his newspaper and sat down in the living room as Castle closed the door to the study and pulled Kate into his arms for the scorching kiss he'd wanted almost since they had left the hotel in New Orleans earlier in the day.

"Do that again, and Ahmed will have a longer wait than he expects," Kate sighed.

"You really like my old body, don't you?" he asked with a smug smile.

"Castle, if you honestly aren't sure if I'm attracted to this body, you have seriously not been paying attention. That's all the ego building you get out of me right now, big boy," she teased, as she gently patted a part of his anatomy that she knew would garner his full attention.

"And if you keep doing that…"

"Okay, I'll behave," she answered, feigning sadness, and removed her hand from its warm and appealing location.

"You'll still stay until we get the call we're waiting for?"

"I will, but it's going to be a little uncomfortable. Martha will understand, but we can't tell Alexis that you're just taking care of me anymore. There's no reason for me to stay in your room except the obvious…which would be even more obvious if she caught me sneaking down the stairs from the guest room in the middle of the night to get back here…for the obvious. And I don't think I can be this close and not want to sleep next to you now."

"There's no way to make it less awkward, but we're honest with each other in this family. All she needs is the basic truth, no details…which I'm sure she wouldn't want anyway. She knows there's nothing frivolous about this relationship, Kate. I've never brought that home with me."

"I'll stay. I know security isn't a bad idea, but I hate it. It might as well all be in one place, though. No sense in hiring somebody to stay outside my apartment…and I know you would. "

"Probably." He hesitated, but asked the question anyway. "Has all the togetherness been too much for you?"

"No. I've loved being with you. Don't second guess anything, Castle. I've been a lone wolf for a long time. I'm going to need some time to do mundane things like paying my bills, getting the layer of dust off the kitchen counters, getting groceries…"

"Sitting down in the quiet to regroup?"

"Yeah. That, too."

"If you need space before we think it's safe, you can take over a guest room…have a place to be left alone when you need it. We'd all respect that. We know when you're here with all of us, you get a lot of Castle."

"When I go, I'm only going to my apartment. I'm not backing away, I promise. You can trust me this time. I'll even call or something before I go to bed. I'm giving this everything I've got."

"I know," he answered. "And I'm trying not to be too demanding."

Castle had one more book signing in Manhattan that night. Paula usually had him close his tour in New York, and she had chosen a place that would draw some of the summer tourists. He asked Beckett to come and sit with him, maybe even sign a few books.

"You know it's going to happen sooner or later if we stay together. You might as well get a taste of what it would be like," he told her. "On the road it would have called a lot of attention to us for you to be with me; but here, and in the evening, it wouldn't seem out of the ordinary. It would look like you're off work and sitting in to keep me company."

"I don't know, Castle. I might go and hang out at the bookstore and wait for you, but the idea of helping sign the books seems a little too foreign to me."

"Okay. You can hang out at the bookstore, and if a fan starts coming on too strong, you can move in and protect your territory," he answered with a grin.

"So you're my territory now?"

"Lock, stock, and barrel," he answered.

"Then I guess I'll go and keep an eye on my turf," she answered with a little smirk before she sighed. "Do you think Smith is ever going to call again? I really like Ahmed, but I'd really like to have you to myself until the family gets home."

"Me, too; but we agreed to be careful."

They heard the front door open, and immediately went to see who was home. Ahmed reached the door as Alexis saw them, and they braced themselves for an oncoming Alexis.

She grabbed both of them in an enthusiastic group hug. "I'm so glad you're back. Are you all better now, Kate? Did the tour go well, Dad? Are you both completely exhausted?"

Castle laughed, grabbed her head, pulled it to his shoulder, and kissed the top of it. "I'm glad to see you, too, Pumpkin."

"Hi, Ahmed," Alexis said, smiling from across Kate's arm.

"Hello to you, too, little one," he answered, opening the door for his brother, who reached the door immediately after Alexis.

"I am glad you let me know you were here so I didn't have to slow her down when we left the elevator," Joseph told him with a chuckle.

The brothers sat down and conferred about how to handle security until things were more certain, while Rick, Kate, and Alexis conferred about what to expect at home. In their discussion, Ahmed and Joseph agreed that Ahmed would stay at Castle's loft that night so Joseph could go home to his family, and that they would alternate nights at the loft to allow them both to spend time at home.

"I have one more signing at a store in Manhattan, Honey," Castle told his daughter. "I've talked Kate into coming with me…possibly sitting with me, maybe signing a few books…from the look I'm getting, I'd say it's a big on the maybe about the books. I need to change if we're going to be on time."

"I guess I'd better find something more worthy of Paula wanting me near him if I'm going to even sit and keep him company." As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized she was now in the position of standing in front of Alexis and deciding where she should change clothes.

Alexis caught the feeling of discomfort, and in her usual straightforward manner, she asked, "You didn't have separate rooms on the trip, did you?"

"No," her father answered. "And we won't here, either. We're…"

"I get it, Dad. I want you together. It's going to be a little weird at first, but I get it. Just go do whatever you need to do so you won't be late." She hesitated a brief moment and added, "And maybe close the study door so I don't know who's where?"

"I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable, Alexis. If it weren't for security, I'd go home so we…"

"I don't want you to go home. I want you to marry him so I know we can keep you," she blurted out," and then put her hand over her mouth and looked at Kate wide-eyed, realizing what she'd said.

"Give us a little time, Honey. Your dad is trying to work this out with somebody who's never been much good at it, but I'm not leaving him…and I'm not leaving you."

"Okay." Alexis gave her a hug, looking simultaneously anxious to run and relieved that she didn't seem to have upset anyone. "Go get ready for the bookstore."

"And close the door behind us?" Castle asked.

"Yeah…please."

They went into the study, closing the door behind them, as requested, and Kate exhaled sharply. "Well, that was as awkward as I thought."

"But she doesn't want you to leave."

"I just hate to have her feeling like she needs to be constantly careful in her own home. It's her last couple of months before college. It doesn't seem fair. I don't want her to feel like I'm just waiting to replace her."

"She wants you to marry me," he answered, giving her a quick kiss," so I doubt she feels that way. Come on, a quick relaxing shower will help you unwind. You'll feel better."

"Probably," she responded, giving his backside a squeeze and watching his male ego expand.

After showering quickly, Kate dried her hair while Rick shaved. She put on in the dress slacks and white dressy shirt she had left in the closet after her last visit to the precinct then stepped into the "ridiculously high heels" she knew fascinated Castle, and he chose a suit similar to the one she seemed to be attracted to during their trip.

"Alexis," Castle called from the bottom of the stairs, "We're leaving now."

"Okay" she answered, coming out of her room. "We have ice cream for when you get home. We didn't know what Kate likes, so Grams and I got an assortment."

"We'll look forward to you and Martha and ice cream," Kate said with a smile that told the teenager she was being truthful.

"Have fun," Alexis answered before going back into her room. Calling over her shoulder, she added, "You look nice, Kate."

xxxxx

When they reached the bookstore, the manager met Rick at the door and ushered him to his office. Rick introduced Kate and Ahmed and told them Kate was to be allowed access to the signing table if she wanted it.

Rick was escorted to the signing table and introduced to the people in line, and Kate looked around in the store for a while. She then told Ahmed she was going to the coffee shop section of the store and asked if he wanted anything. At his lack of interest in anything but his job right then, she ordered coffee for Castle and herself, and took a breath to brace herself for the feeling of being completely out of her element. Then she walked to the table, outwardly as confident as she appeared at a crime scene, sat down next to him in the chair the manager had left for her, and handed him his coffee.

"Beckett," he said, surprised. "Thank you."

The line was much shorter than when they first got there, and most of the people in line heard her name when he said it, starting a buzz through the crowd.

"You're Kate Beckett?" the woman at the table gushed.

"I am," Kate answered.

"Would you sign my book, too?" the woman asked. "Please."

"How could you refuse such a polite request?" Castle asked her, handing her a pen.

"I had nothing to do with writing it. I just provided the atmosphere for his overactive mind," Kate answered with a pleasant smile.

"And a lot of character inspiration," Castle added, looking back at his fan.

The woman seemed thrilled to be standing and listening to the exchange between the pair at the table, seemingly for her benefit; and after Castle signed her book and pushed it back to her, she pushed it toward Kate. "Please?"

Against her instincts, Kate smiled again, signed the book and gave it back.

"Thank you so much," the woman answered, looking back and forth between them, and left, looking happy.

Most of the others in the line wanted Kate's signature, too, and Castle seemed not only content, but happy to have Kate sharing the glory. He was proud of the way she handled herself with his fans, and they responded well to her.

"I think the people who were there after you came in were glad they ended up in the back of the line," Castle told Kate. "You were good." Then they left the store, overjoyed to be done with the tour.

"Let's go home and get our share of that ice cream," Castle said as he stood aside to allow Kate and Paula to get in the limo, then he and Ahmed followed.

"Kate, you can show up for these things any time you want," Paula told her. "They loved seeing you with him. The two of you have a good vibe together."

"It won't happen too often, Paula. I have this other job where I'm supposed to be catching murderers…kind of demanding."

"Just saying…when he's stuck at a book signing and you need to meet him somewhere anyway…"

By then they were at Paula's building, they dropped her off, and everyone looked forward to the ice cream buffet that was waiting for them."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

When they returned to the loft, Martha met them at the door. "Welcome home, she said, hugging them. We missed you…both of you."

"Thank you, Mother/Martha," they said simultaneously.

"Bonded on this trip, did you?" Martha drawled.

"I dare you to say, 'Shut up, Martha,'" Castle said leaning toward Kate conspiratorially.

"Shut up, Castle," she answered.

"Hey! How did that happen?"

"You've just added another woman to your house, that's how," Martha told him. "We stick together, you know."

"Dead man walking," Castle mumbled, and Kate grinned and put a consoling arm around his waist.

"Ahmed. It's good to see you," Martha added, moving to give him a hug as he laughed at Castle and his houseful of women.

"Ready for ice cream?" Alexis asked from next to the refrigerator. "We were beginning to think you'd never get home."

"I never turn down ice cream," Ahmed answered.

"Me either," Castle agreed, taking off his coat and tie and unbuttoning his collar. "What's on the buffet?"

Martha went to help Alexis take out the eight half gallons of assorted flavors of ice cream they had bought, lining them up on the breakfast bar with bowls and spoons and taking the lids off the cartons.

"Why did you never do this when I was a kid?" Castle asked Martha with his little boy enthusiasm.

"Because I knew who would clean up the mess when you ate until you were sick."

"Eeew, Grams! Table talk." Alexis complained.

"He asked; I answered," Martha responded unrepentantly.

"Still gross," Alexis told her.

"If you want ice cream you'd better stop sassing your grandmother," Martha answered, grabbing the ice cream scoop out of her hand. "I'm getting mine now. The rest of you are on your own." She dished out what she wanted and rinsed the scoop, handing it to Ahmed. "Here. My family is being disrespectful. They can wait."

The rest of the group made their choices and served themselves, Kate and Alexis put the ice cream away, and all of them sat at the dining table with Martha, catching up on the last couple of weeks' activities.

Martha went up to bed, and Ahmed made sure the security system was armed and went to his room, leaving Alexis with Kate and her father. She wanted to hear what Kate thought of Mack and Rosa and the ranch.

"I hated to leave," Kate told her. "Everybody was so friendly…all of them…and the whole place…"

When she paused, looking for words, Alexis helped her out. "So you really liked it?"

"Yeah, I did."

"When was the last time you spent a whole day just playing?" Castle asked. Turning to Alexis, he said, "You should have seen her, Honey. She can ride."

"Really? Can we all three go sometime, Dad? We could always go riding somewhere around here, but it's so different there with all the open space."

"Mack wouldn't forgive us if we didn't. He and Rosa liked Kate." Castle looked at Kate with a little smirk. "He told me you were a keeper."

"Does Alexis scare you when she rides?"

"All the time," Castle affirmed. "I guess what goes around comes around."

"You notice he's still here. I haven't given him a heart attack yet," Alexis protested. "I guess I'd better go to bed. Some of us have to be at work tomorrow," she said with mock disdain.

"And some of us have been all over the western half of the country making the fans happy so he can sell books…books that finance your ability to intern instead of being out having to support yourself," Castle teased, and he grabbed her around the waist as she started to walk away.

Alexis giggled and kissed him on the cheek, then she turned and hugged Kate before she went to her room.

Castle and Kate conscientiously waited until Alexis had gone into her room and closed her door before they slipped away to theirs.

xxxxx

The next morning was a Thursday, and it was relaxed and quiet. While being aware of the appointment with Dr. Burke at eleven, they knew Martha and Alexis would be at work, and Rick and Kate saw no good reason to leave their bed early. Just as their lazy morning in bed was getting interesting, Rick's burner phone rang. It took his Kate-hazed mind a few seconds to register what he was hearing, then he feared he might do himself serious damage getting out of bed to grab it from the dresser and answer it in time.

"Smith?"

"It looks like they've finally decided that Detective Beckett has really backed off the case," Smith answered with no introductory pleasantries.

By that time, Kate was standing next to Castle, listening with him.

"So we can assume she's safe?"

"You can stand down unless she involves herself in the case again. He knows I have plans that will send the files where they would do him the most damage if anything happens to me."

"What about my family?"

"He doesn't seem interested in you or your family. Apparently he hasn't caught wind of our connection yet. If he has, he must believe you're an asset in keeping Detective Beckett in line. But keep her away from it, Mr. Castle. She's made him angry, caused him trouble; and the information I have is the only thing keeping him from ordering another hit."

"I'm here, too, Mr. Smith. He doesn't have to keep me away. I'm leaving it alone," Kate assured him.

"It's crucial that you do, Detective. You're both still playing a dangerous game, but at least you're being smart about it this time. Whatever else you may know is happening, you have to leave it alone. Things other than your life are counting on your discretion."

"What other things…" The answer was nothing but a dial tone.

"What does that mean?" Kate shouted at the phone, following that with a loud growl of frustration.

"Well, at least now I have company in wanting to throw the phone against the wall, yell all the curse words I know, and jump up and down on it until it's dust," Castle answered. "A little earlier, I was hoping to hear that growl in a different context, but the man was a definite mood breaker.

"He knows about Gates, doesn't he?"

"Sure sounds like it."

"What in the world is going on? Where is he getting his information?"

"I don't know. My biggest interest now is that you're safe. We might as well make coffee and talk to Ahmed."

"Probably ought to put some clothes on first," Kate smirked.

"Yeah, probably."

They quickly got dressed, and Kate started the coffee as Castle sat down in a chair near the one Ahmed occupied.

"Smith just called," Rick told him.

"Ah. That would account for the massive growl of frustration that just issued from your room?"

"It would. Apparently he's aware that Gates has the cases now, and apparently Kate's life isn't the only thing hanging in the balance if she doesn't stay out of it."

"And?"

"Dial tone and growling."

"I see. So my services are no longer needed?"

"Not for the time being anyway, but if you can be on stand-by for a while, I'd appreciate it. Thank you for the diligence and for always being available when I need you."

"You were there when my family needed help. It is not a kindness that will be forgotten." He stood and walked to his room, bags already packed in anticipation of going home to his family that night while his brother took over at the loft; and he returned to the living room with the bags."

"Coffee is almost ready. Would you like some before you go?" Kate asked.

"No, thank you. I believe I will go home and have coffee with my wife." Looking over to Kate, he said, "Kate Beckett, I have enjoyed coming to know you."

Kate walked over to where he stood and gave him a quick hug. "I've enjoyed getting to know you, too, Ahmed. You did make me feel safer when I needed it most. I hope, in the future, we'll see each other without the security element involved. Thank you."

"Thanks for everything," Rick said. "And can you leave me that scanner? Just add it to the bill, and I'll need three more…one for Kate and two more for Ryan and Esposito."

Ahmed removed the device from his pocket and handed it to Rick. "As you would say at your bar, 'This one's on the house.'" He gave Rick's upper arm a brotherly pat and left. "If either of you need me, just call."

Kate had walked back to the kitchen, and holding Castle's coffee out to him, she told him, "I'm dying to call Gates, but we can't, can we?" It was asked more as an observation than a question.

"We don't dare," he answered, walking over to accept the mug she held. "You heard Smith." There was a pause, as if he hated to voice the words. "If he knows, do you think anybody else does?

"I don't even want to think about that happening." She took a sip of her coffee. "You think we can find a way to ask her when we're back at work?"

"I don't think so. She made her rules pretty clear. I think we have to wait for her." There was another growl, and Castle put their coffees on the counter, took Kate in his arms, and rubbed her back to console her. He knew how badly she wanted to be in the middle of everything that was happening. "You heard Gates. When she has something worth telling, she'll let us know."

"This is so hard."

"I know. But at least we know you're safe." He kissed her brow in sympathy. "Maybe Gates will have something to tell us when we get back. Until then, we're free to go where we want, when we want…and I have a very nice house in the Hamptons. Javi shouldn't be the only one enjoying it."

"Javi has been enjoying your house in the Hamptons?"

"I gave him a key when he and Lanie came by to check on you. I thought it might make the suspension a little easier to live with. I meant to tell you."

"Thank you. I feel a little less guilty about going off and having a good time while he was waiting things out. Don't you think you should offer Ryan some time there, too?"

"Sure. We can do that, but he gets something way bigger…I just haven't decided what yet."

"Maybe we can figure out something after we're back at work."

"But he can't have the house this weekend. If Mother and Alexis don't want to go, I think we can come up with a way to pass the time on our own. Tomorrow is Friday. We can go down in the morning…today if you want…and I can have someone drive them down when they get home tomorrow. We could stand some distraction from Smith and Gates, and we can have a nice weekend at the beach before we have to meet any more dead bodies."

Kate smiled at his enthusiasm. "The beach sounds nice, and I'd like to see your house. I'll need to go home and get some beach clothes."

"We'll take an empty suitcase, and I'll take you shopping. Mother and Alexis would have no problem showing you the best places to shop, but I'd rather take you myself. I can find a lot of them. My credit card and I have wandered through enough of them waiting for world-changing fashion decisions to be made."

"I can't let you do that."

"Why not? I like doing things for you."

"You do terrific things for me without spending anything. Don't you know that yet? And the trip we were just on cost you plenty. Don't think I didn't fight myself about that, too; but I couldn't talk myself out of being with you. And custom made boots… I think you've done enough."

"Come here," he insisted, taking her hand and pulling her toward the study. "There's something I want you to see." He had her sit on the sofa while he took a large envelope from the wall safe. "I've never voluntarily shown this to a woman before because I've never trusted a woman in my life not to take advantage of it. You know how to read it. I've seen you with financials for cases."

"Castle, you don't need to…"

"I know I don't need to. I want you to see what we have. And as far as I'm concerned, if we're going to make a life together, it's going to be ours, not just mine." He took the papers from the envelope and put them in her hands insistently.

Kate reluctantly looked through the pages, awestruck at what she saw. Then, among the numerous assets and bank accounts in various places, she saw that there were several trust funds…one for Alexis, one for Martha, and one with Kate's name on it. "What is this," she asked, almost angrily.

Castle sat down with her and looked to see what she was questioning. "A percentage of the Nikki Heat profits. Putting up with me that first year, you earned it. If, heaven forbid, things don't work out between us, that should provide you a good retirement fund. I mentioned something like this once, and you didn't even want to talk about it; so I just put it in the trust until I could talk you into accepting it."

"Why? I have a job that takes care of me. And my mother left me a small trust fund. And I didn't write the books; you did."

"I did it because you were the inspiration for them…and because I wanted to. That isn't so terrible, is it?"

"No. It's very generous of you. Taking it would just feel wrong. I'm not used to taking what I didn't earn."

"I know, and I respect that. I just think you should know what you would be committing to…and before you point out that it doesn't matter to you how much I have…I already know that…or you wouldn't have all this in your hands."

"What are all these properties? They're all over the country. Are these investments?"

"Now and then, while I'm traveling, I run across situations where some really good people have run into some really bad luck. With their permission, I'd pay off the loan at the bank and they'd pay me instead…but the payment is now low enough they can afford it with their lowered incomes."

"There are more than a dozen of these here. Have any of them taken advantage of you?"

"Only one. When I was sure that's what was happening, I gave them fair notice and let them know which bank would be buying the mortgage. All the others have sent payments faithfully. They were all hard-working people who just needed a chance."

Kate leaned into him and kissed him. "What makes you do things like this…not that I'm not impressed that you do."

"Mother had me when she was pretty young, her family basically disowned her, and we had some tough times before she made a name for herself. A lot of people helped us out when she needed it, and she tried to return the favors when she could, even if it was in the form of paying it forward later. When there's something you can do, it feels good to do it."

"How come nobody reports on this side of you?"

"Paula doesn't know, or they probably would. Part of the agreement with the home owners is that they keep it to themselves. The money doesn't come directly to me, so I don't even think about it too often."

"You're a good man, Ricky Rodgers," she said, lacing her fingers through his and resting their hands on his knee. Seeing the look on his face, she said, "It embarrasses you a little that I know, doesn't it?"

"Maybe a little. I never told anybody else, not even Mother and Alexis. The attorneys and accountants were told to keep it quiet, and so far, they've respected that."

"And I will, too," she assured him.

"Other than that, you can see that I've made good investments…expanded the book income considerably."

"I knew you were a wealthy man, Rick, but this is… I never expected there was this much."

"And I want to be free to spend some of it on you…without a fight on my hands every time I try. Come on. One big shopping trip at the beach, then I'll hold myself back before I ask again, I promise." With the excited little boy look she had trouble resisting, he suggested, "We can leave this afternoon right after your appointment with Dr. Burke and buy everything we need for the rest of the weekend. A shopping adventure. It would be fun. Just this once, Kate. It would be fun, he emphasized. "Let me enjoy having all this to share with you."

"And you promise you won't keep insisting later?"

"Scout's honor."

"Didn't we establish a while back that you were never a scout?"

"Okay. _I promise_."

"Just this once?"

"For a while...at least a few months. It would make me happy. You want to make me happy, don't you?"

"When do you want to leave?"

"I'll call and be sure the house is ready for us, then we can get in the Ferrari and leave when we want to."

"Can I drive?"

"I know where it is. How about I drive there and you drive back? We'll take turns while we're there."

"Deal."

"Will you find us some breakfast first? I'll need to call Mother and Alexis, too."

After Castle called Martha and Alexis, Kate's phone rang and she heard Lanie's excited voice. "You haven't seen his place in the Hamptons, have you?"

She laughed at Lanie's exuberance. "Not yet. Only a couple of pictures. It looks great. Alexis has been talking, hasn't she?"

"She's excited. She can't help it. She told me how she feels about it. Sweetie, I'd almost be willing to marry the man for that view and those 97,000 thread count sheets alone. What are you waiting for? You know all he needs is a little encouragement to take him there. He's loved you through a lot. Don't make him wait too long."

"This is new to me, Lanie. Give me time to adjust before you get too demanding. If he's willing to do that, you can wait a little longer."

"I just want it to happen while I'm still young enough to look good in my bridesmaid's dress. You're gonna love it there. Have lots of fun. Monday isn't that far away, and reality is back."

"We intend to."

"Speaking as 'we,' now are you? I liked the couple signatures on the cards you sent, by the way. Nice touch. You're really in it this time, aren't you?"

"Who'd a thought, huh?"

"I'm happy for both of you. So is Alexis, in case you needed an outside opinion."

"That's good to know. Thanks, Lanie."

"Back to work. Have fun, Honey."

"_We_ will," Kate teased. "Bye."

"Lanie?" Castle asked with a smile, returning from his study.

"Yeah. Breakfast is ready."

"Then let's eat, shower, dress, and leave with nothing but the clothes we're wearing. I can't wait."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Half an hour after breakfast, they had cleaned up the breakfast dishes, showered, and were dressed and in the Ferrari.

"I'm in love with a crazy man," Kate said with a grin as she buckled her seat belt. "I can't believe we're doing this."

"All this spontaneity is killing you, isn't it?"

"It didn't when I was younger, but… Okay, I'm having a little trouble with the size of it, but I'm actually remembering a little of how it used to feel."

"That's a good start for the weekend," he answered as he pulled out of the parking space. We'll see Dr. Burke and get your clearance for duty, and leave from there.

"Look at me following where you lead again. What's wrong with me?"

"Good thing we're on the way to see the therapist, huh?"

She backhanded his upper arm and laughed.

"Hey, isn't there something illegal about assaulting a man when he's driving. You should arrest yourself."

"I can't. Suspended…remember? Guess you're out of luck."

"I could tell Dr. Burke you've become violent."

She backhanded his arm again.

"See. I wouldn't even be lying"

"Shut up, Castle," she answered, unsuccessfully trying to smother a smile.

xxxxx

Kate really wanted to cancel her appointment and just leave town with Castle, but she needed the doctor's approval to return to the precinct.

Dr. Burke greeted them at the door of his office. "Good morning, Kate." He shook Kate's hand, then Castle's. "Mr. Castle, nice to see you again. Looking back at Kate, he asked, "Will we have a guest for the session again today?"

"Yes, if you don't mind."

"Then I take it the trip went well."

"Yes," she answered and sat in her favorite chair.

Castle pulled his chair within hand-holding range of hers…just in case it was needed was what he told himself.

"Are your injuries healed?"

"Yes. I'm in good shape again."

"Did you feel safe while you were gone, any paranoia?"

"Moments now and then, but nothing I thought was worth mentioning. And Rick hired security…an old friend of his who cared about me because he cares about Rick."

Rick shot her a surprised look.

"Have you had any flashbacks…any nightmares…panic attacks?

"A few flashbacks, a couple of nightmares, no panic attacks."

"You didn't tell me about the flashbacks…or the paranoia," Castle interrupted in surprise.

"They were just moments…nothing big. There was no need to worry you with them."

"But how can I help if I don't know what's happening? Dr. Burke, how much do I need to know?"

"Those moments will happen, and they will be intrusive for Kate. If they become more intrusive or make daily life more difficult for her, it would help for you to know."

"I intend to be there when you need me. If that happens, will you tell me?" Rick asked her.

"If it happens, I'll tell you." She paused, then said with a look of concern, "I discovered that he has nightmares, too. I didn't know that before."

"Because he didn't tell you?"

"I need to know how to help you, as much as you want to help me," she told Castle. "Do I get a promise, too?"

"You get a promise," he agreed.

Dr. Burke was writing a lot.

"What about your mother's case…your case? Any changes in the cases…or your involvement?"

"I don't know. I'm still on suspension…no contact. And I'm still not planning to go back to it. I don't want to spend what's left of my life looking over my shoulder. We just spent a little over two weeks with security hovering everywhere I went. I don't want to live like that."

"How has the suspension affected you?" the doctor asked.

"I feel less guilty now that I know Castle gave the key to his beach house to the detective who was suspended with me…so he could enjoy his time off, too. If I had stayed home alone, the suspension would probably have been terrible, but it was actually a godsend."

"In what way?"

"We had the chance to be away from family and friends and adjust to being with one another. We learned some things we didn't know…had time to be close…to talk about some things that will be important to us…had time to just relax now and then. I met friends from Rick's childhood, heard stories, visited the ranch where he spent some time when he was a boy…went horseback riding."

"You should have seen her," Rick interrupted with a look of excitement. "She had that horse at a gallop, flying across the ranch, hair blowing over her shoulders…smiling. I've never seen her look that free. She spent most of that day looking like she didn't have a care in the world."

"Did you feel that free?" he asked Kate.

"Yeah." She smiled at the memory. "It was…amazing."

"Since Mr. Castle is here again, I assume things are still good between the two of you?"

"Better than before. We're going to his house in the Hamptons from here."

"My mother and daughter will join us tomorrow night."

"How do they feel about your relationship?"

"They're happy for us. My eighteen year old daughter wants her to marry me 'so we can keep her,'" Rick answered with a smile and air quotes around the last few words."

"It kind of sounded like adopting a puppy, but it felt good that she seemed to mean it," Kate added.

"So you've already discussed marriage?" the doctor asked.

"Not yet, not really, but we want this to work," Kate answered

"You've come a long way, Kate," the doctor observed. "You seem to reaching for what you want."

"I am," she answered.

"And you seem happy."

"I am. We still have things to work out, but I think we're happy." She looked at Rick as if for assurance.

"I think so, too," he agreed.

"Do you have any particular concerns you want to discuss today?"

"No. I feel amazingly close to normal."

"Well, it seems to me you're ready to go back to work. I'll see that Captain Gates gets the proper paperwork before Monday. I believe we can make this a short session and get you on the road to the Hamptons."

"Let's follow up about a month after you're back at work. You know you can call me between now and then if you need to. I'm pleased to see you taking control."

"Thank you for allowing me to sit in again," Castle said, reaching to shake the doctor's hand.

"I'm meeting my wife for lunch today," the doctor told them. "I'll walk you out."

When they reached the curb, Dr. Burke said, "Nice car, Mr. Castle."

Castle leaned toward the doctor and said quietly, "Spend the next session talking her into marrying me, and I'll buy you one…any color you want."

The doctor laughed leaned in and answered, "Not in my job description. Sorry." Then he lifted his hand in a sort of wave. "Good-bye, Kate. I hope you both enjoy your last few days off."

xxxxx

Pulling away from the curb, Castle said, "Adventure time! When we get there, let's get everything we need for tonight and tomorrow. We'll look for something to wear for a nice dinner tonight… go somewhere we can sit outside and look at the ocean while we eat, then we can do round two tomorrow. And Mother and Alexis will probably want to show you around, too. "Does that sound okay?"

"It still feels like I shouldn't let you do it, but dinner by the ocean sounds great." He looked so excited that Kate couldn't help smiling. She realized she had been seriously undervaluing spontaneity for way too long.

On their way, they good-naturedly argued over radio stations and where to start their supply and wardrobe shopping. After some discussion, they decided they'd break Kate in slowly…shop for toiletries first, Castle second, and then Kate. He glanced at her often as they drove, enjoying the gradual change as she relaxed into some anticipation of the small, unexpected adventure. Martha and Alexis would join them on Friday night; but, until then, he had Kate all to himself…and intended to savor every minute.

Do you want to go to the house first or start the shopping first?" he asked.

"Shopping first, she decided. "Then when we're tired of shopping, we can go to the house and relax."

"Shop, relax, late dinner?"

"Sure."

"We're officially in the Hampton's…but not near the house yet. First stop is a drug store?"

"Yeah."

Castle let Kate take in the scenery and the tourists and intended to start their little adventure at a drugstore he knew was big enough to have everything they needed. Before much longer, he pulled into a parking space outside a store and came around to open the door for Kate. "Hang on a minute. Let me call for reservations.

As Kate leaned against the hood of the car, he found the restaurant's number in his phone and took care of a table for dinner, then led her toward the door. "Where do you want to start?" he asked, picking up a basket as they entered the store.

"Toothbrushes. We don't want to be without those.

They looked around at the overhead signs, and he pointed to his right. "That way."

When they rounded the corner of the aisle and found the display they were looking for, Kate reached for a toothbrush like the one she had at home; and Castle drooped his head in playful dismay.

"Kate, Kate, Kate. Do you not yet understand the term adventure? When you're on an adventure, you don't reach for the ordinary. You look for something different." He looked at the part of the display meant for children, and his eyes lit up. "Like this." He held up a Spiderman toothbrush. "See? It spins while you brush, and it's a superhero."

"She couldn't help but laugh. He was the nine year old on a sugar rush again. "She looked at the display, then back at Castle. "So how come you get the only superhero on the shelf?" she demanded. "There's Star Wars, but it only flashes light, and the Disney princesses only have pictures. I want one that spins."

"Here's Hello Kitty."

"Not since I was five or six."

"SpongeBob SquarePants?"

"Eeeew!"

"Here's one that says it's for teenagers. It spins _and_ glows. And here's Dora the Explorer. She's adventurous."

"I don't know Dora. I'll take the one that glows."

"Toothpaste?"

"Can't be ordinary?"

"Nope."

"How about cinnamon? It looks kind of sparkly."

"Now you're getting the idea. Floss?"

"Maybe the kind with the little plastic handles? That's about as exciting as it gets."

"Can't win 'em all."

They moved on to sniff body washes and make a game of finding make-up, shaving cream, and other necessities until the basket Castle carried was nearly full.

"Can you think of anything else?" he asked.

"No. Let's go before they kick us out," Kate answered with a grin.

They paid for their purchases, and Castle put them in the trunk of the car and opened the door for Kate.

"I can open a door, Castle." She said as he brushed her hand aside so he could do it for her.

"An adventure, Detective. We do things differently, remember?"

"Where do you shop for you?"

"A couple of blocks from here. There are lots of clothing stores down there. Let's park there and wander around. We can probably find some things for you somewhere on that block, too." He drove into a parking space outside the store, and made sure he opened Kate's door before she managed to get out. "You allow me to be the gentleman my mother tried to teach me to be this weekend. Okay?"

The Beckett eye roll was back, but she even let him open to door to the store as they went in, trying to play along.

"Mr. Castle, it's good to see you again. How can I help you today?"

"I need to restock some basics, Daniel…and something for dinner out tonight. We need to look around first."

"Just let me know if you need any help."

"Thank you." Turning to Kate, he said quietly, "See anything you want to take off me after dinner tonight?"

"How about this? It's adventurous," she said with a smirk, taking what had to be the ugliest shirt in the store off the rack and looking at it speculatively.

"Ooooo, you wouldn't even need to be turned on to want to rip that off my bones. Put it back, put it back," he said with a little shudder.

Kate laughed, and the games began. They found dressy/casual clothes for Rick for dinner that night, underwear, socks, shorts and a shirt for the next day, and a silk robe and pajama bottoms Kate said she'd be willing to rip off him after dinner, which was all the incentive he needed to find them appealing.

"I don't think I've ever seen you have so much fun looking for clothes, Mr. Castle," the sales clerk observed as he happily rung up the stack of not inexpensive purchases.

"I needed some new things to leave in the closet at the house here, and Detective Beckett was kind enough to help me out."

"Detective Beckett? The Nikki Heat Detective Beckett?"

"Just Kate Beckett. Nikki Heat is fiction," she answered.

"I've read all the books, and you're as beautiful as Mr. Castle makes Nikki seem."

"Exactly where the inspiration came from," Castle answered, signing the credit card bill with a small flourish and pushing it back across the counter.

"Enough," Beckett answered, feeling less than comfortable with the conversation.

"Thank you, Mr. Castle. It was nice to meet you, Miss Beckett."

They both waved on the way out, and Castle put their purchases in the car before they moved on.

"Shoe store," Castle pointed out. "Comfortable looking sandals and killer heels all in one place. We'll stop there on the way back. I want sandals for the beach, and those sneakers you're wearing might not work with a dress for dinner."

Now it was Kate's turn…a new kind of game, Castle thought. He had to make it enough fun that she could forget (Who was he kidding? Possibly almost forget…or maybe barely accept) that he was spending money on her for no good reason.

"Here's a place I recognize. I like that dress on the right. What do you think?"

"It's nice," Kate answered.

He could feel the reluctance pouring from her as they walked in the store, where he stopped her just inside the door for a short, quiet, private conversation. "Did you have fun shopping for me?"

"Yes," she grudgingly admitted, seeming to know where the conversation was going.

"Then try to have just as much fun shopping for you. Let go for just a little while," he almost pleaded. "I want to have that much fun shopping for you. And I'll be happy to look around with an eye to what I'd like to help you remove tonight."

"That's good of you, Castle." He finally got a playful little smirk and felt more like she might give in. "There are the dresses like the one you liked. I'll see if there's one in my size," she conceded. "I'm guessing I'll need a dress for dinner?"

"I like seeing you in a dress now and then."

"Okay. A dress for dinner…for you."

"That's a good beginning," he answered, then grinned and whispered, "I'm looking forward to the underwear shopping, too."

"Why am I not surprised? Come on. We might as well start with a dress."

The saleswoman, seeing that their private conversation had ended, came over to greet them. "Mr. Castle. How is your daughter?" she asked, looking curiously at Kate.

"She just graduated from high school…valedictorian," he answered proudly. "She and Mother will be here before the weekend is over. You might see them on Saturday."

The woman's curiosity was obviously high. Castle wasn't acting the way he did on the few occasions he had brought a date in to shop. He was behaving the way he did around Alexis…just seeming to have fun. It was clear that she was dying to know who this woman was, but wouldn't risk asking questions.

"We'd like to look around, Lana," he said, reading her name tag. "We'll let you know if we need help."

Lana looked disappointed that she wouldn't be with them, but she answered, "I'll be right here."

"When you try them on, you have to show me…even if they're awful," Castle told her as they looked through the dresses.

"Is that one of the spontaneity rules?"

"Yep."

"Are these rules written down somewhere?"

"Nope. I'm making them up as we go…spontaneously."

Kate laughed and added another couple of dresses to the stack he was holding across his arm. Looking at the number of dresses they had gathered between them, she said, "Maybe I'd better try some on before we break your arm," and they turned so Castle could point out the location of the fitting rooms. The saleswoman had been watching for that cue and immediately came to help hang the dresses in the room.

Kate tried them on, dutifully allowed Castle to see each one, and they started separating sheep dresses from goat dresses, as Castle referred to it. In the middle of the selections, Kate found one that Castle had sneaked in while she wasn't paying attention…a strange neckline, and a truly awful color, and she laughed out loud before she could stop herself.

"You have to show me all of them," he told her from the chair where he sat for the fashion show.

Kate put the dress on and opened the door far enough for him to see it, both of them laughing.

"It fits you really well," he said, still snickering, "and you're as beautiful as ever. But I don't think there's a woman in the world who could make that dress look good."

"Goat dress," she stated firmly.

"Definitely goes with the goats," he agreed.

She narrowed it down to three, which they left in the room for later decision making, then found shorts and a top for the next day. She decided on a dress, then said quietly, "Since I shared your underwear shopping, I guess you expect to share mine?"

"Of course. The lingerie shop is on the next corner," he whispered, wiggling his eyebrows and making her laugh again.

He took the dresses to the counter, and Kate took the other items and told the saleswoman which dress she had decided on. "Do you need a purse or some kind of bag for the beach? There are some in the corner up front. Might as well take a look while we're here."

While Kate looked, he whispered to Lana to wrap all three dresses fast, so she quickly pulled a long dress bag over all three and reached under the bag to scan the tags before Kate came back empty-handed. By then, the dress bag was hanging over Castle's arm and Lana was ringing up the total. Castle signed for the purchase and delivered them to the car to join his things.

Outside the lingerie shop, he leaned to Kate and pointed to a bra in the window. Get one of those…the one that fastens in the front. I have an idea for Jameson and Nikki, and I want to see if it works.

"If I see anything in that book that looks like us, you're in deep hurt, Writer-man."

"Well, you might see this, but technically, it falls under the category of research; and you'd know ahead of time…so this shouldn't count."

"Came up with that spontaneously, didn't you?"

"I'm a writer. It happens." He shrugged, doing his best to look innocent.

"Just for the record…that innocent act…while you're admitting to planning sex scenes for characters based on us…as we're about to enter a lingerie store where you've already requested a specific style of bra 'for research...' Not buying into that story, but let's go see if we can make you happy anyway."

"That was so hot!" he exclaimed softly, trying hard to not to embarrass her.

"Behave yourself," she ordered quietly as they opened the door.

They left with things, more of them than she ever intended, that made them both happy…including Rick's research item. From his comments, she gathered that the research involved teeth and that clasp in the front. He had seemed to have more trouble deciding what to eliminate than she did. They stopped at the shoe store on the way back to the car and bought shoes for their dinner out and for the beach, and then drove toward his house…tired, but happy.

"See. That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked as he turned on his street.

"You did make it fun. It didn't seem so much like, 'Come on, Kate. I'm going to spend a lot of money on you.' And I haven't forgotten that we have a deal about that." Then she smiled at him, and just before he pulled into the driveway of a large, light colored brick house, she gave him a big, relaxed smile. "It was a great adventure," she admitted. "Thank you."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Castle turned into his driveway and looked over to see how Kate was responding. He didn't usually care how people reacted to his possessions, but this was Kate. He wanted her to like it.

Kate looked up at the house. They had passed other larger or more ostentatious houses on the street, but she loved the look of this one. It was a large, two-story house with an understated elegance. There were large windows and a front porch, a smaller, much more updated version of the porch on the ranch. The house had sleek, contemporary lines that somehow didn't sacrifice a feeling of warmth and welcome. It was very much Castle.

He smiled. She liked it. He knew her, and he could tell.

Taking the keys from the ignition, he walked around and opened the door for Kate; and when he offered his hand, she stopped staring and took it, and he led her up the front steps.

"Come on," he said excitedly as he unlocked the front door. "You have to see the view from the deck." They walked through the foyer and into an area almost as open as the loft, and there were more large windows, allowing an amazing view of the ocean. "This is my favorite part of the place," he told her, opening the huge sliding door to the deck. "I spend a lot of time out here with my laptop. Sometimes I actually write. Other times I just keep it company and enjoy the peace."

"Rick, how do you ever make yourself leave here?"

"Aaaah. She finally speaks. Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful…and it looks like you."

"So you think I'm beautiful?" he asked with his smart aleck smile.

"She looked up at him as if trying to decide how to answer, and decided on, "Yes you are…inside and out," then she slid her arms around his neck and kissed him nearly senseless.

"Where did that come from? Not that I'm complaining, you understand."

"Spontaneity. That's the word for the weekend, right?"

"Yeah. Right. I'd forgotten for a minute there. Things in my brain were about to move to other parts. Maybe we'd better get everything out of the car before we get any more spontaneous," he suggested.

"And then you can give me the grand tour of the house?"

"Definitely."

They divided the packages between them, Rick being sure he got the dresses, and took them to the master bedroom. The large, walk-in closet held very little…a precious few things that would accommodate any of the four seasons if he decided to make an impromptu trip. He took the garment bags off and hung the three dresses and his dinner clothes while Kate was putting things in drawers in the dresser.

"Here are our robes if you want to hang them in…" Then she spotted the three dresses. "Castle, I can't wear all of those this weekend. Why did you do that?"

"I guess I got carried away, but I was having so much fun." The little boy was back. "Why should I leave them hanging on a stupid store rack when they all looked so good on you? You can wear one tonight; we'll go to dinner somewhere tomorrow after Mother and Alexis get here, and you can wear another one; and you can take one home…and we'll figure out where to go so you can use that one. See? None of them will go to waste."

"There might be a warped sort of logic somewhere in there…maybe. Rick, it's great that you want to do this for me; but when I agreed to it, I didn't expect you to get carried away with it. Although, I can't imagine now why I didn't."

"Tomorrow we need to look for bathing suits," he said, ignoring her remarks. I'm looking forward to that almost as much as I did underwear," he said with a grin. "And family friendly sleepwear. I'm not wearing that robe and pajama bottoms in front of my family, no matter how good you say I look in them; and I doubt Alexis is going to want to see you in that clingy purple hotness we bought for you. I can't wait to see you in it, though…and decide on what creative way we can get you back out of it."

She couldn't stay angry at him. His enthusiasm was contagious, and she found herself on the verge of laughing. "We can put the things from the drug store away later. Show me the rest of your house." She took his hand and pulled him toward the hallway. "I can't believe you wake up and have that view before you even get out of the bed," she said as they left the room.

There were four more bedrooms upstairs horse-shoed around the stairway. Downstairs, there was a large, open space with a huge great room that opened to a kitchen, and a smaller space that seemed to be intended to be separate, as if for reading. And, as at the loft, there was a study with a door that closed out the noise from the rest of the house. Apparently Richard Castle needed his own space available when he wanted it. The large deck was obviously intended for entertaining. It was built in two levels with some built in seating on each one, as well as standard outdoor furniture.

Kate decided he was right. The deck was likely to become her favorite place, too…well, that and the bedroom with an ocean view, and a comfortable looking bed with Castle in it.

They agreed that a trip to a grocery store should be added to tomorrow's shopping…that they'd get up when they pleased, have breakfast out, do what shopping they needed to, and come back and enjoy the beach until the rest of the family arrived. It already sounded like a good day.

After finishing the tour of the house, they went back to the master suite to finish putting away their purchases, and they showered and dressed for dinner afterward…enjoying looking nice for one another. Sometimes talking, sometimes just closing their eyes and enjoying the ocean breeze and the sounds of the surf, they sat on the deck for a while before leaving for the restaurant.

"Ready to go?" he asked about twenty minutes before their reservation time.

"I hate to leave, but I'm hungry."

xxxxx

Dinner was almost as relaxing as the beach house. Their reservations were for a table on a large white deck that overlooked the ocean. The food was good, the service was impeccable, the weather was nice, and they left content.

Before going back to the house, they walked along the street and looked for places for tomorrow's shopping.

As much as Kate hated the idea of accepting expensive gifts, he really had made it fun for her. She knew part of his efforts were just because he would enjoy it, but part of it was knowing that she needed a major distraction from Smith's call that morning. And his method of distraction had been spectacular.

He had taken her hand when they left the restaurant, and as they walked, she squeezed his hand to get his attention and looked at him. "I love you," she said firmly.

He looked over at her in pleasant surprise and answered, just as firmly, "I love you, too." Then he turned them around toward the valet parking area where they had left the car, arms went around waists, and he said, "Let's go home."

xxxxx

"Do we at least have coffee for tomorrow morning?" Kate asked hopefully as they entered the house.

"The management company knows that when I ask to have the house ready, it includes coffee and cream. We have coffee for tonight if you want it."

"This late?"

"I don't think I've ever known you to turn down coffee, but it won't matter. I'm planning on keeping you awake for a while, anyhow. When do I get to see the purple hotness?"

"After you're wearing your silk hotness. Does now sound good?"

"Race you upstairs."

They both ran for the stairs, laughing as they reached the top and pushing each other out of the way at the door, each trying to be the first one into the bedroom. Kate reached the clingy purple nightgown first. As she held it in her hand, ready to shed the dinner clothes and put it on, she was still laughing.

"When we dress in something like this, aren't we supposed to be all serious and sexy…not all goofy from racing up the stairs and shoving each other at the door like ten year olds?"

"But that was fun, too," he answered. "We can always admire each other, and go out on the deck for a while until things turn all serious and sexy." Kate was again treated to the mischievous eyebrow wiggle.

"Okay. Hurry up. I want to admire you in silk and a bare chest."

"You're going to wear silk and a bare chest?" he answered bringing his hand to his heart in mock shock. "That might be better than purple hotness."

"Shut up, Castle." She was laughing as she disappeared into the bathroom. When she returned, she leaned against the door frame, looking like a lingerie ad, and asked with her best Russian accent, "Do you like it, you handsome man?"

His mouth opened, but there were no words.

Still using the accent, which was obviously working well for her, she said. "I'll take that as a yes. And you look very sexy."

"I… Wow!"

"Come on wordsmith," she said with a big teasing smile, and without the accent. "Deck, darkness, serious, sexy? You ready? Didn't I see one of those wide chaise things out there? It looked big enough for both of us."

"You really are the most extraordinary woman I've ever known." He said appreciatively and went to the closet and got a couple of soft blankets. "Yeah. I'm ready." At Kate's questioning look, he explained, "Sometimes the breeze is kind of cool at night." Then he took her hand and led her down the stairs through the dark open area of the house and out to the deck where they spread one blanket on the wide lounge chair, put the other on the table close by, and snuggled together on the chaise.

"You look stunning," he told her, watching her relax in the moonlight.

"And you look ruggedly handsome."

He chuckled and pulled her closer so her head was on his shoulder. "Thank you for today, Kate. I know it started out of your comfort zone, but you had fun, too, didn't you?"

"I had fun. And I should be thanking you. You yanked me right out of my limited, sometimes obsessed little world and helped me remember spontaneity."

"Can we do it again sometime? Next time we can get on a plane and go somewhere in Europe…or…"

"Whoa. Let's finish this adventure first."

"Serious…sexy?"

"Yeah. Let's get back to that," Kate answered, playfully dropping little kisses along his jaw line while she trailed her hand over his bare chest.

"Mmmmm… Good start."

Serious and sexy escalated as kisses became more heated, and hands wandered across sensuous fabric to arouse the bodies beneath it. When Rick started to slide the gown away from her, Kate stopped him.

"This weekend is an adventure, right?"

"Right," he answered, not sure where the unexpected conversation was going.

"We had such fun choosing what we're wearing…let's not take it off. A challenge?"

He was immediately visualizing. "Re-adjust…but not remove?"

"Use our imaginations?"

"Mmmmm… You want to start?"

"Okay," she said seductively, and made the first move.

"I like the way you think, Detective."

After that, the creativity was mutual. Later, with the breeze cooler and the second blanket spread across their still clothed bodies, they lay side by side on the chaise and Rick looked at Kate with a satisfied smile. "I think we met your challenge admirably. That was definitely the most fun I've ever had with clothes on."

Kate giggled and curled against him again.

"Kate Beckett just giggled," he gloated. "Can Nikki and Rook…"

"No."

"I did promise. Sorry I considered it for even a second." He was quiet for a moment, then said, "I may have to write it, though. Even if you're the only one who ever sees it."

"I could live with that…probably enjoy it, but that was just ours."

"Best adventure ever," he sighed.

The two of them held one another and enjoyed the closeness of the moment, gradually getting drowsier; and about half an hour later, Castle said, "This is now officially my most favorite place at this house, but I don't think I want to sleep out here. There's a very comfortable bed upstairs."

"Let's go," she answered, and they gathered the blankets, left them on the sofa as they passed, walked up the stairs together, and slid between the crisp, clean sheets.

Sometime close to dawn, Rick had to wake her and comfort her after a nightmare. He called her name several times and pulled her close in his arms to get her attention. "You're safe, Kate. It was a dream…that's all." When he saw her eyes open, he insisted, "Tell me what happened. Take away its power."

"He won this time, Rick. He let me live…so I'd know he had them kill you…because of me."

"But I'm safe, see? Come here. You fall asleep where you can hear my heartbeat this time."

"It seemed so real."

"I know, but it wasn't. I'm right here. Try to get back to sleep. I love you."

"Love you, too," she mumbled, and then wrapped her arm around him tightly and snuggled close to the comfort of his heartbeat.

xxxxx

The next morning they lingered in bed, enjoying the ocean view and each other until they both needed coffee. Martha and Alexis would be there for a late dinner, and they would need to behave more carefully after that.

They had breakfast at a little place near the shops they had found the night before, then looked for the other things they needed before Alexis and Martha arrived. Kate found herself rolling her eyes more than once at Castle's foolishness during the bathing suit excursion, but it was still fun. They found everything they needed, went home and put it away, then went for a long walk on the beach.

Alexis and Martha arrived early in the evening, and they all went to dinner looking very much like a family.

Sunday morning they made a big family sized breakfast and sat around being generally lazy. Except for Martha, they enjoyed the beach most of the afternoon. Martha enjoyed sitting on the deck, alternately studying a script and watching her family enjoy the beach. By the end of the weekend, they were feeling even more like Kate was one of them. If Rick had to decide, on a scale of one to ten, how much he wanted that to happen, he would probably have rated the wish at about a fifteen.

Late that evening, Rick and Kate had decided which of their shopping finds would be left at the beach house. As they packed the last of their new belongings in the one, empty suitcase they brought with them, Rick asked Kate, "You'll stay with me at least for tonight, won't you? We have to be at the precinct tomorrow morning. I'm used to going home without you after work, but giving you up tonight would be hard. I've gotten used to having you with me. I like having you with me."

"I'll stay tonight. After we're back at work, we'll figure out how to manage us. I need to get back to my apartment sometime soon, though…pick up my mail, pay my bills, figure out which clothes are where… I'm feeling like I'm being kind of irresponsible about that. But I'm not running away. You don't need to worry about that anymore."

"Okay. We can talk about how to handle things at work while we drive back tonight. The car should be here for Mother and Alexis in about five minutes. I'll take the suitcase down and put it in the car, and we can leave as soon as we're sure they're on the road."

The driver pulled in to pick up his mother and daughter as Rick was closing the trunk of the Ferrari. He and the driver put their bags in the car, and Alexis and Martha hugged him before they left.

"I guess we're ready," he told Kate sadly when he returned to the house.

Looking around at the mostly darkened rooms, Kate said, "I loved this weekend, Rick. I love this house, and the shopping was fun; but if you didn't have all this, I'd love you just as much…and we'd figure out how to have just as much fun together without it. You know that, don't you?"

"I know that," he answered. "It's another one of those things that makes you extraordinary.

"Can we come back sometime soon? It's such a change from the city and the dead bodies, and the traffic, and the pressure.

Rick's mood brightened. "We can come back any time you want. If we're going to get to work early in the morning, though, we need to get on the road." He held out the car keys, and Kate grinned.

"Let's go," she answered, grabbing them from his hand and heading for the driver's seat in the Ferrari as he locked up the house.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Beckett and Castle had discussed how to handle their return to work. Their team and Captain Gates knew they were together; and working in a room full of detectives, they knew it wouldn't take long before others figured it out, too. The reporters who picked up on Castle's activities had reported on his book tour, but they had blessedly missed the fact that Beckett had gone along. Going back in after a suspension would be easier without the added distraction of everyone knowing they had spent just over two weeks traveling together…and had seen each other naked.

In order to keep the captain appeased, they agreed ahead of time on what would not be allowed to happen at work, deciding to stick to their old behavior as much as possible…hopefully with fewer arguments and less tension than in the last few weeks they were there.

They also agreed that they would drive in together on the mornings when they spent the night together; but Castle would go for coffee and come back after Beckett was at her desk, making at least their first few days back a little less obvious. The idea of letting the others in the bullpen gradually notice the change in their relationship was a much more appealing option to Beckett than simply blurting it out.

They went in early on their first day back…timing their arrival just before the night shift left and the day shift came in. When she entered the building, Kate took the box of things she had removed from her desk, intending to have her desk back to normal before the day shift started. Castle went to the twenty-four hour coffee shop around the corner from the precinct and returned with coffee.

"Morning Beckett," he said as he approached her desk with their morning caffeine and a box of pastries to share with the boys. "Need any help with that?"

"No, thanks. I've got it under control." She reached for her coffee and gave him a big smile. "Thank you."

"Feels good to be back, doesn't it?" he asked sitting in the familiar ugly chair.

"Yeah," she answered, touching one of the little elephants on her desk. "I just got things back in place. It almost looks like I never left."

As detectives from the night shift were leaving, a few stopped by Beckett's desk to speak to her in a little show of support, and most of them shook Castle's hand, too.

"Check the board with me," Beckett said after the others had left. "The boys will fill us in when they get here…and that shouldn't be too long."

The detectives for the day shift wandered in, most stopping in the break room for coffee before going to their desks. Most waved or stopped to say a few welcoming words to Beckett and Castle before starting their week.

The couple sat together on the edge of Beckett's desk, carefully trying not to look too much like a couple, and looked over the information. They found that the prime suspect was Warren Malik, a long time thief who now ran a fencing operation. He was suspected of killing one of his men who had been careless enough to leave a piece of evidence behind after a transaction. When the police found it, Malik killed the man as a warning to the others that they should be more careful. All his men had been questioned, but nobody was talking. Ryan and Esposito had gathered enough evidence that search warrants had already been served for Malik's home and the warehouse where he had stored his merchandise; and evidence was found at his home. The warehouse was empty, but enough traces of evidence were there to indicate that the contents had been moved recently. The suspect had escaped the two officers who went to pick him up and had injured them in the process, so he now faced additional charges of resisting arrest and assaulting two police officers.

"Welcome back," they heard from behind them as Esposito came in.

"Thanks," the two of them answered simultaneously.

"Still doing that, huh? Oh, wait. You weren't apart all that time, so you aren't out of practice," he teased with a big grin.

"Shut up and have a bear claw or something," Beckett answered, and Javi laughed.

"Good trip?" he asked, checking to see what else was in the box.

"Good trip." Castle confirmed. "How about you? Did you enjoy the beach?"

"Great week. Thanks, man. Lanie managed to get a long weekend to come with me for a few days. She loved it." Reaching in his pocket, he handed Rick the house key. "Before I forget," he said.

"Maybe we can have everybody there some weekend. Mother and Alexis would enjoy that," Castle answered, pocketing the key.

"Catch us up on the case?" Beckett asked.

"Sure," he agreed, "but the Boy Scout is running the show on this one."

"Are the two of you still fighting?" Beckett asked.

"Things are still a little tense, but I do know he's probably responsible for keeping both of us alive."

"He's absolutely responsible for keeping both of us alive. If Maddox hadn't had to run, there was no reason for him not to kill you. He played with me like a cat with a mouse…then just let me hang there, knowing it was only a matter of time before I fell. We were evidence, Javi. He didn't have any intention of leaving either of us to talk. Ryan got help there just in time. You need to get over it. If you have to be mad at somebody, take it out on me. I made this mess for both of you. Kevin just did his best to get us out of it alive."

"I know you're right. Lanie keeps telling me the same thing. I guess I'll get there eventually."

They heard the elevator ding and turned to see Ryan smiling at them as he walked toward Beckett's desk.

"Good to see things getting back to normal," he said. "It wasn't right without you."

"We hear you're in charge on this one. Ready to get us caught up?" Beckett asked.

"How was the book tour?" he asked with his arms folded and a smirk on his face.

"It was great," Castle answered, grabbing the box and holding it out to Ryan, hoping the pastries would distract him the way it had helped with Esposito.

Gates left the elevator about that time.

"Ryan, get them up to speed on the case. I have a message to call robbery about Malik." With that she went into her office, put her things down and was immediately on the phone.

"Yes, Sir," Ryan answered.

"I guess some things never change," Castle sighed. "What do we need to know?"

Ryan started filling in blanks before Gates returned to tell them that a couple of Malik's men had been spotted at another warehouse near the docks and that surveillance had been set up. Esposito held the box of breakfast goodies out to offer one to the captain as Ryan talked to Beckett and Castle.

"More work, less socializing, Detective," she responded and returned to her office.

About half an hour later, Gates called out on her way to get coffee. "We've got two more men in the warehouse. Looks like something might be happening."

Ryan and Esposito bumped fists. They had worked hard on the case in the two weeks since Esposito was back, and they were ready to put it to rest.

With nothing to do but wait, Ryan went through the outcomes of two cases that were left pending at the time of the suspensions so Beckett and Castle would know how those cases had been resolved if they ever needed the information. About three hours after her last appearance, Gates returned

"Malik was seen entering the warehouse with two more of his men. We have seven there now…that we know of, and a truck, hopefully full of evidence; and we know he's dangerous. Get over there, but wait for back-up. I've already made the call."

The entire team moved into action, and Gates followed them into the elevator.

xxxxx

They waited outside the warehouse as inconspicuously as possible until substantial back-up arrived. They knew he now had six men with him; the last two had arrived in a large truck that they assumed held the stolen merchandise that had been removed from the previous warehouse.

When the back-up team arrived, Beckett's team moved in first, Ryan in the lead, followed by their back-up; and Gates stayed outside coordinating with the remaining two officers, who were ordered to wait with her for further orders. Knowing the danger to an unarmed civilian, she insisted that Castle stay outside, wishing she could give him a gun and send him in with Beckett. As they stood, waiting nervously, they heard a shot ring out from the building, followed by several others.

"Officer down," Gates heard on her radio. "Gunshot wound to the thigh." Then she heard several more shots, and it was quiet again. She immediately called for medical assistance and started toward the building to check on the situation.

"We have suspects in custody," Ryan's voice announced through the radio, and Castle moved quickly toward the building, followed by Gates. Less than a half minute later, just as they reached the door, the radio picked up Beckett's voice. "We have six suspects here, and Malik isn't one of them. Send somebody to cover the back. I know I saw him when we came in. He's still here somewhere." The two officers with Gates immediately sprinted for the back of the building while the back-up officers inside spread out to search the rest of the interior, and Gates motioned Castle to the left side of the building's entrance. She went to the right.

Castle stood just inside the front door, his dark clothing blending into the shadows as he looked behind the stacks of small crates not far from where he stood. There was the glint of a gun as a small ray of light hit it, and he watched carefully to see what the man holding it was doing. Fortunately, Malik was watching the officers who were looking for him, and he hadn't noticed Castle yet. As he moved toward the front door, nearly backward, he turned suddenly to make a run for it, gun in hand…and encountered Castle. Castle shoved Malik's gun arm into the air, and a shot was fired into the roof of the building, alerting the others to his location. Castle tackled him to the floor, one of the back-up officers quickly assisting; but Malik managed to twist out of their grasp and get to his feet to run again, foolishly turning to take one more shot into the huge room. The shot lodged in a crate about three feet from Beckett, Ryan returned fire and hit Malik's arm, and Malik dropped the gun.

As Ryan and one of the officers restrained him and read him his rights, Castle kicked the gun out of Malik's reach. Having seen the look on her face when the bullet came so close to her, Castle then walked directly over to Beckett.

Esposito walked toward the suspect, saying quietly, barely moving his lips, as he passed Castle, "She needs you, Bro'."

Castle stopped a couple of feet from Beckett, standing as much as possible between her and anyone else's line of vision, and talked to her softly for a couple of minutes. Her answers at first were only nods or shakes of her head. Then he was getting short answers, and she seemed more engaged in the activity around her.

Captain Gates was watching from across the room and motioned Esposito aside. "What are they doing over there?"

"That's one of the reasons she needs Castle as her partner. You saw him handle himself as well as most of the officers here. Malik has been pretty slick about getting away from anybody who's gone after him…two trained officers were wounded trying to bring him in. In this case, if any of us did better than Castle, it could easily have been luck. What you're seeing now is the other reason. I saw Beckett's face right after that bullet hit the crate near her. She puts up a good front, but we know her. That was a full on panic attack, and Castle saw it from all the way over here. I can guarantee that what he _wanted_ to do was run over there at mach ten, wrap his arms around her, and tell her everything would be okay; but you saw what he did. He _walked_ over, stood close, never touched her, and talked her through the worst of it…because he knows she needs the appearance of control to keep her credibility in front of other cops, to say nothing of her suspects. Even fighting the PTSD, which I'm sure you know about by now, she's still the best detective in your precinct. He helps her stay that way."

"Understood, Detective," she said as she walked away to supervise the removal of the cuffed suspects and to be there when the medical team took her officer out on a gurney.

Kate was together enough to help the process along on her end as the back-up officers were making one more quick sweep of the area before following the others out, but Castle stayed close by for support. Kate thanked the officers for their work, and she and Castle were about to leave the building when Gates came back in.

"Are you all right now, Detective?"

"I'm fine, Sir."

Gates gave her an appraising look. "I'm not so sure, but you handled it well." Looking back and forth between them, she said, "Well done, Mr. Castle. There isn't much left of the afternoon, and the paperwork can wait until tomorrow morning. You'll see that Detective Beckett gets home safely?"

"Yes, Sir, I will."

"Good. Today was quite a reintroduction to the job. The two of you take a minute if you need it, then Detective Beckett needs to get home and pull things back together. Give him your keys, Kate. He's driving this time."

Kate nodded, and Gates turned and walked away, leaving them alone in the warehouse. Then Castle indulged himself, pulled Kate into his arms and breathed raggedly into her hair, "That was too close. You okay?"

"I know," she answered, sliding her arms around his waist. "I'm getting there. Thank you…for knowing what I needed…again."

"Always."

They stood that way for a moment longer, then Castle put an arm around her waist protectively, moving his hand to the small of her back when they reached the door. From there, he walked her to her car and took her home…to the loft. Family seemed to be good for her, and his had already adopted Kate. And he and Kate would both sleep better that night if they were together.

Alexis had heard about the situation at the warehouse, and was worried about Beckett. She asked Kate to watch one of her favorite movies with her, a romantic comedy, hoping to get her mind off the afternoon's stress.

Kate understood what Alexis was doing and was grateful that she was concerned enough about her to make the effort, so she sat down with her and found herself enjoying the movie and relaxing. Castle had called for pizza; and after it arrived, he delivered it to the coffee table in front of the sofa and brought drinks, plates, and napkins to go with it. Then he sat down on Kate's other side, and the three of them finished the pizza as they watched the movie.

When it was over, Kate turned to Alexis. "Thanks for making the day a little easier. I love that movie, and I do feel better. I was going to go home tonight, but I kind of don't want to be alone. Do you mind if I stay one more night?"

"Didn't I make myself clear with my buttinsky remark the other day? You should stay as long as you want to."

"Just close the doors?"

"Yeah, please," Alexis answered with a teasing little shudder. Then she gave Kate a big hug and added "As far as I'm concerned, you're ours from now on," and went up to her room.

"I'm glad you admit you need us now," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Come on. It's been a tough first day back. You need some rest."

"I never expected to fall in love with an entire family," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder as they walked to his room. "But I did."

"Speaking of family, you need to call your father tomorrow. You promised to talk to him."

He kissed her brow, they changed for bed, got under the covers, and held each other…hoping to ward off bad dreams.

xxxxx

As she filled out the paperwork for the Malik case from the day before, Kate saw Gates approaching her desk.

Placing what looked like more paperwork in front of her, Gates said, "The Malik case took so much of our time yesterday that I forgot to have you sign these, dropping papers pertaining to her suspension on the desk. Be sure I have them by the end of the day." With her last words, she tapped a note she had paper clipped to the top of the pages, then left; and Beckett looked to see what she needed to do.

She read the note and did her best to keep a nonchalant look on her face. The note read, "Not reporting specifics yet, but the search turned up two promising suspects, one a very high profile subject. Found trustworthy contacts in other agencies. Meeting with the first one tonight...second one tomorrow night."

Beckett removed the paperclip and slid the note over to where Castle could see it; he responded the same way she did, which had been difficult for both of them. She looked over the papers, and dropped the first one over the note, giving Castle the chance to hand the page back to her after she signed the second one and move the note to his pocket.

After signing the papers, Beckett took them to the captain's office and handed them to her. "Here are the signatures, Captain. Thank you…for working with me on the suspension. I appreciate it."

"Don't make me regret it," Gates warned, but when she glanced up from her work, Beckett could see that the captain understood exactly what the appreciation was for.

xxxxx

Early in the afternoon they were called to an alley a few blocks from the precinct…a sad, very cut and dried case of an argument gone wrong…two tall, healthy looking young men…college students…friends for most of their lives. A basketball from the game they had been playing earlier in the nearby park had rolled against the dumpster next to the victim, sitting as a silent witness to the pointless end of a young life. The suspect was still in the alley at the scene, remorsefully confessing to a fight in which the victim's head hit the corner of a dumpster lid hard enough to provide a fatal wound. The argument had been over a girl, who Castle and Beckett would have to interview later, just to cover all bases.

"What a waste," Lanie said to Beckett as she watched the action taking place around her. The victim's body was being loaded for transport to the morgue, and officers were putting the other young man into a cruiser for transport to holding at the twelfth. "And their families…" Her voice trailed off in dismay.

Kate brushed one hand across Lanie's back in sympathy. "I know. We'll talk to their families."

"That won't be easy," Lanie answered.

"No, it won't," Castle agreed.

"There's no reason to think this one isn't exactly what it seems, but I'll get back to you with results as soon as I can," Lanie promised.

"Thanks, Lanie." Kate waved as Lanie left; and, looking up at Castle, she said, "I guess we'd better go talk to the parents. The beach house is looking better all the time."

"Yeah. I hate having to do this to a parent. Then let's get this girl in and talk to her. I want this one out of my head as soon as possible. These kids are only a couple of years older than Alexis."

They walked back to the precinct, got into Kate's cruiser and broke the news to the victim's mother, made sure she had all the pertinent addresses and phone numbers to contact and asked if she had someone to call for support. When they left, she was calling her husband.

By the time they were back at the precinct, Ryan had located the young woman and uniforms were picking her up. Within less than half an hour of their return, Beckett and Castle were sitting at a table across from Myra Brennan.

The young woman was another college student…attractive and confident, with a defiant attitude and a calculating look about her.

"I haven't done anything wrong, so why am I here?"

"Are you acquainted with Darren West and Anthony Freeman?" Beckett asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"What was the nature of your acquaintance with them?

"Boyfriends. How is that your business?"

"Both of them…at the same time?" Castle asked.

"Yeah. Why? You looking to get in on it?" She twirled her hair with one finger and gave Castle a sultry look.

"Did they know about each other?" he asked.

"Not until today," she answered, with a look that said she was enjoying the idea that they found out.

"You were aware that they had been good friends since childhood?" Kate asked.

"Yeah. That makes it more fun."

"Makes what more fun?"

"Watching them fight over me."

"So you see manipulating people, destroying relationships, and watching them hurt each other because of you as fun? Have you made a habit of this?"

"Whatever you want to call it," she answered defiantly. "And yeah, I do that. I like being in charge,"

"Well, you're going to love this," Beckett answered in disgust, taking a crime scene photo out of the folder and slapping it down in front of her. "You recognize him?"

Myra's attitude slipped when she saw the photo of Darren lying with his head surrounded by a pool of blood. "That's Darren. Is he okay?"

"No, Myra. I'm a _homicide_ detective. He's not okay. And his friend, Anthony, is locked up. He's probably going to have involuntary manslaughter on his record for the rest of his life, probably do some time for it…to say nothing of living with the fact that he killed his best friend, accidentally or not."

"These were good guys…good futures ahead of them. Both their families are going to be devastated," Castle added. "So, hey, it's good you had fun being in charge. You need a copy of that photo for your brag book?"

"As far as I'm concerned, Beckett told her, you ought to be locked up with Anthony… and kept longer." Then she stood, wearing her most intimidating look, and put the photo back in the file folder. "But unfortunately, New York doesn't have a law against callous, cold-hearted bitchiness. I hope every time you feel like being "in charge" again you'll remember that picture, and those two young men and their families. Might be a good idea to find another way to boost your self-image. So, sadly, you're free to go. I could take you to the holding cell so you can apologize to Anthony if you'd like…or you could stay and talk to his family about how you have your fun."

"No. I don't want to see any of them."

"Big surprise there," Castle muttered sarcastically as he stood to leave the room with the women.

Myra, looking ashen, left the precinct as fast as she could; and Beckett and Castle went back to Kate's desk, where she started the paperwork.

"A bigger waste than we thought," she muttered.

Castle reached over and patted her hand…not lingering long enough to be construed as more than a partner being sympathetic.

"Thanks, partner," Kate said with an appreciative little smile. The smile was pointed at the computer screen, but Castle knew.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

With the depressing feelings left from Myra and the tragedy in her wake, Castle suggested dinner and people watching. He enjoyed that Kate would now join his game of making up stories about people around them. That would be a distraction for both of them, and Kate agreed immediately.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Let your family know. I'll be sure the captain got the report, and when we come in tomorrow, we won't have to be reminded of it." She knocked on the doorframe of the captain's open door. "We're leaving. Just wanted to be sure the report went through before we go."

"Thank you, Detective. I have it. Everything okay now?"

"Under control, Sir."

"Good. See you tomorrow." Gates went back to her work.

"Let's go," Kate said, returning to her desk and getting her purse from the bottom drawer.

They had been at the restaurant long enough to finish their burgers and spin several good stories, when Beckett's expression changed. "Castle…" she started.

"This is where you tell me you're going back to your place tonight, isn't it?" Castle asked, looking resigned.

"I'm not backing away. I'm not even taking any of my things from your place. I just need…"

"A little quiet space?

"I guess so. I'm not exactly sure where I am right now, and I can't figure it out when you're close enough to touch. You're a major distraction, you know," she answered, putting her hand comfortingly over his.

"A good distraction?"

"Yeah."

"I want you to be sure about us, Kate. I won't push you. The two of us together has already been worth the wait. Just understand that I'm ready to put whatever it takes into making us work."

"You already have, and I'm catching up with you as fast as I can."

"This is yours…the one you had after they blew up your apartment. I expected you'd need some time away when we knew the danger was over." He took her hand, turned it palm up and reached in his pocket to pull out a key to the loft. I'm giving you this with Mother and Alexis' blessing. You already know the security code for the alarm, so you can feel free to let yourself in and out like any other member of the family…day or night, understand?"

"Thank you."

"No argument? That's progress." He smiled as if she had given him a gift.

"I'm not trying to run away. I'm not."

"I'll walk you to your car and get a cab home," he said; then he took care of the bill, and they left. He hailed the cab that he saw at the corner and stopped at Kate's car with her. "I'll miss you," he told her and placed a 'public appropriate' kiss on her lips before getting in the cab.

"I'll miss you, too," she answered, just before he walked away.

Both of them felt less than complete as they went in their separate directions.

xxxxx

When Castle came home alone, Martha asked, "Where's Kate?"

"At her apartment."

"For how long?"

"I don't know, Mother. I'm not sure she does, either, but she's promised she isn't backing away. I knew she'd need a little time sooner or later, and I'm trying to give it to her; but I missed her by the time I was in the cab on the way home."

"I know you did," Martha answered, pouring him a glass of wine from the bottle she already had on the counter. She handed it to him and rubbed her hand across his back sympathetically. "And I expect she's missing you, too. Were we too much for her?"

"I don't think so. She told me last night she had fallen in love with the whole family. She said I'm a distraction to being able to think…but a good distraction. I want her to live here. I want her face to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night."

"Have you issued that invitation? If not, maybe you should."

He huffed a little laugh. "She certainly knows now that Alexis wouldn't have a problem with it. I think I'll bring it up soon and leave it in the form of an open invitation…let it happen gradually, and one day we'll just empty her apartment and move her in. I'd ask her to marry me today, but I want to give her time to adjust to being part of a couple. She knows I mean this to last."

"Lots of maybe in that, don't you think?"

"I gave her the key today, and she didn't protest…just thanked me. I can't tell you how much progress that was."

xxxxx

Kate stopped for groceries on her way home, put them away when she got there, and took a look around at her apartment. She hadn't been in it for so long that it almost looked unfamiliar. Taking a deep breath, she put her badge and gun away, left her shoes in the closet, and found a dust cloth for her desk. No matter what she did, she wasn't interested in doing it in the cloud of a month's worth of dust build-up. The dusting job accomplished, she picked up the ridiculously large stack of mail that had been held for her while she was gone, and started sorting through it, separating the bills from rest. Sheep mail and goat mail popped into her head, and she smiled, remembering the dress shopping.

After taking care of the bills, she went through the rest of the mail, opened what looked important, put the rest aside, and tossed the junk mail…then she turned and surveyed the apartment for what might need to be done. It was late by the time she finished the little things that made her feel better about the place, but she wasn't ready to go to bed…mostly because now it felt like the wrong bed…and Castle wasn't in it.

Sitting in the living room on the sofa, her knees pulled up in front of her, she tried to decide what was holding her back from saying yes to whatever he wanted. It certainly wasn't him. She couldn't ask for a better partner, in any sense of the word. He came complete with a family…and she loved being with them…and his family actually seemed to want her with them, in spite of all the times she knew she had let him down. If they had children, she couldn't ask for a better father. Did she want children? She wasn't sure. He said he wouldn't mind…that he liked being a dad. That certainly covered that problem. But that was also something big and life changing to consider. He wanted to be married, and she knew he meant a marriage that would give them the 'always' she loved to hear him offer. Was she afraid she wouldn't be able to keep him happy? She still had her own set of problems that he would have to share…but he was already sharing them. He sat in front of her therapist with her, asking what he needed to know to be able to help her. He held her through her nightmares, talked her through panic attacks and didn't seem to see it as the difficulty in his life she would expect him to. He loved her that much. Was she afraid he would tire of that if it didn't get better? Was she still afraid she couldn't sustain a lifetime relationship? She thought he could. She mulled all that over and examined it a piece at a time before she realized it was after midnight and she had to be at work in the morning. Maybe she'd see Dr. Burke alone next time and see if he could help her think it through.

Two hours later, after tossing and turning most of that time, she got out of bed, put a shirt over the tank top she was wearing with her yoga pants, and grabbed her badge, gun, purse, and keys. Locking the door behind her, she went to her car and drove to where she would rather be. There were clothes there for work tomorrow.

She used her key, reset the alarm, took off the extra shirt, and slipped quietly into Rick's room, closing the door behind her. After dropping the shirt in the floor beside the bed, she eased in beside him, snuggled against him, and sighed in relief. Her sigh was met with a quiet, low growl of pleasure, and he wrapped her in a tight, welcoming hug, saying, "Now I can sleep."

She laughed and answered, "Me, too."

"We'll talk about it in the morning?"

"Yeah," she answered and gave him a quick kiss…and they both fell asleep in no time.

xxxxx

"The next morning Kate went to work alone. Castle woke up inspired, and decided to write for a while before he went in.

He walked her to the door, still in his pajamas. "You missed me last night?"

"Couldn't sleep without you."

"I couldn't sleep without you, either. You could call next time it happens, and I'll come to you if you want."

"I don't have as big a bed…or what Lanie called your ninety-seven thousand thread count sheets."

"Will you be in your bed?"

"Yeah."

"Good enough for me."

"See you later," she said with a smile.

He pulled her close for a thorough kiss before he let her go. "Call me if there's a body. I'll meet you there. Otherwise, I'll be there in time to take you to lunch."

After the door closed behind her, Castle smiled, completely happy as he went to his study to write. She tried to stay at her apartment last night…but she came back.

xxxxx

The morning at the precinct was uneventful. Boring would have been a good way to describe it, and very early in the day, Beckett was ready for Castle to come in to provide coffee and company.

Captain Gates had been in a meeting most of the morning, and when she returned, she went straight to her office, jotted a note for Kate, picked up the Malik file from her desk, and tucked it inside the file. Allowing a little time to pass, she walked to Beckett's desk.

"I need you to look at this file," she said matter of factly. "There was a detail of Malik's take-down that I didn't see…involving the gunshot into the warehouse. I'd ask Detective Ryan, but he and Esposito are out…talking to a witness. Take a look and see if we need to amend anything."

Kate thought it was odd. All of them were careful with their paperwork. But she looked through the pages and suddenly understood. Between two pages, there was a note that said, "Friday at seven? Can Mr. Castle arrange it again?" She picked up the file, held it in front of her to remove the note inconspicuously and scanned the pages for something to say. "Here it is in Ryan's report, she said, putting the file on the desk between them and pointing at something. I didn't see everything, but this looks like what Castle and Ryan both told me, and Esposito caught the end of it, so part of it is in here in his report as well. I think it's all there."

"Hmmph. I don't know how I missed that. I don't like missing things."

"And you rarely do," Kate answered and closed the file, handing it back to the captain. She leaned back in her chair keeping the small note in her hand.

"Thank you, Detective. Where is your partner this morning?"

"Doing his real job. He planned to do some writing this morning…said he would meet me for lunch. But if a body drops, I'll call him."

Gates nodded and returned to her desk.

Now Kate was beside herself. She hoped Castle would make it an early lunch.

xxxxx

Martha's first class started mid-morning that day, and she saw the light in the study and heard the sound of her son's fingers flying across the keyboard.

"You aren't going in to the precinct this morning?"

"I'll go in time to take Beckett to lunch. She's expecting me then."

"You look a lot happier than when I went to bed last night," she observed, walking into the study.

He stopped typing. "She came back" he said with a smile. "It was after two in the morning, and neither of us had slept. She let herself in and got in bed, and we were both asleep in no time."

"Major progress, I take it?"

"She didn't even seem to need an excuse. She just seemed to need me."

Martha walked to the desk, rubbed his shoulders and kissed the top of his head. "It looks like things are finally headed in the right direction. I'm happy for you, darling."

He spent the morning writing…starting a new book for Rook and Nikki. Although Kate had unequivocally banned so much as the possibility, he still thought _In Heat_ was appropriate for their present state of being, a thought that made him smile as he took a coffee break. As he left the study, his phone sounded, calling him back for a text from Beckett.

"_Can we have lunch early?"_

"_Miss me?"_

"_If I say yes, will you leave now?"_

"_I'm still in my pajamas. Picture that. : ) Is anything wrong?"_

"_Okay, I miss you. Will that do?"_

"_Be there as fast as I can. Love you."_

"_Thanks. Love you, too."_

He showered and dressed in record time and took a taxi to the precinct. Texting from about a block away so she knew to expect him.

Beckett had entered the elevator as the boys were leaving it. "I'm meeting Castle for lunch. Anything we need to do first?" she asked, standing with her back against the door to keep it open.

"No. Just following up a couple of loose ends. Nothing major. See you later," Esposito answered.

She pushed the button impatiently as the doors closed, and she met a surprised Castle on the front steps of the precinct.

"Missed me that much, did you?" he asked with a grin.

"We need to talk," she said, leading him down the street where there weren't as many people. "Let's go somewhere we don't usually go and there's enough noise we won't be heard."

"You sure nothing is wrong?" he asked, concerned, but trying not to show it.

"No idea yet. Pick a place and let's go."

Castle hailed another cab and gave the driver the address of The Old Haunt.

"This isn't a place we don't go," she said when they left the taxi.

"I have a perfectly good office, and something to check it with before we talk. Both lunch and privacy. They seem to know everything. They're bound to know we're together now. Privacy at lunch won't seem odd."

"I guess not. Okay, I'm in love with a smart crazy man."

When they entered, Castle groaned. "Pretend we came separately and go on down to the office. I'll explain later." Kate walked away from him and sat at the bar for a few minutes, understanding the groan as Castle was waylaid by a couple of fans as he walked past the first booths. He spoke to them for a couple of minutes, signed napkins with The Old Haunt logo on them and excused himself saying he had business to attend to. Seeing him finishing with his fans, Kate got up and went in the direction of the rest rooms, but instead, waited for him beside the door that led downstairs to his office.

He stopped at the bar and ordered lunch, asking for the usual, knowing the bartender would know Kate was with him. "And, Mark, would you have it brought to me, please?" Quickly unlocking the door to the basement, he told Kate. "I have to get you an extra key for this door. That's begun to happen more often. Those two must have my signature on at least twenty things other than Nikki Heat books by now. They're at every New York signing. It's nice that fans stop at the bar now and then; but sometimes, like now, it's inconvenient."

"But you're always gracious. You never make anyone feel like an inconvenience. That impressed me while you were on the book tour. Another part of your gentlemanly side."

By then he had unlocked the office and closed the door behind them, and he gave Kate a long, deliberate kiss. Then he checked the room. He was taking no chances.

"I know I seem paranoid. That's because I am when it comes to this. Now, what has you this…"

"This." She took the captain's note from her pocket and handed it to him.

"No wonder you were anxious to see me. Can we think of a reason to get her to The Old Haunt?"

"There's a picture in her office that looks like it's from around the Prohibition Era. I think one of her relatives might be in it. Maybe notice it and offer her a tour? She wasn't here when we discovered everything under the bar."

"That might work."

"We could tell her to bring her husband and let her work out how to keep him out of the conversation."

"Okay, Castle, work your magic."

"I thought you wanted lunch," he said, putting his hands on her hips and pulling her as close as he could manage. "But we could work some magic if you want." Then there was a knock on the door.

"Looks like lunch wins," Kate answered with a grin.

"His timing never was that good," Castle mumbled under his breath, then, opening the door, he said, "Thank you, Mark," took the tray from the young man, and closed the door again.

"We don't have time for that anyway," Beckett said soothingly. "Eat your lunch." After a couple of bites of her sandwich, she asked, "Should I leave before you do?"

"Probably wouldn't be a bad idea, unless we want our faces in the 'Who's with whom' section. Those two fans would probably be somewhere asking questions."

"Let's avoid that as long as possible."

"Fine with me."

A couple of minutes later, Kate told him, "Gates actually asked where my partner was this morning…not 'your shadow' or 'Mr. Castle.'"

"Maybe I'm coming up a little bit in her world?"

"Took long enough. Wonder how she's going to handle it when somebody other than the team realizes we're together. It does put her in a tough spot. I feel bad about that."

"Having been around the captain for the past year, I'd bet she already has a plan. She just hasn't mentioned it to us yet."

"I should probably get back to work. We'll figure out how to get you into her office to issue an invitation." Just then, Beckett's phone rang. "Beckett," she answered, then picked up a pen from Castle's desk. He pushed a notepad across to her, and she scribbled down an address.

"A body?" he asked almost silently, and she nodded.

"I should go," she said after she hung up. She kissed his cheek and said, "See you soon?"

"I'll leave in a few minutes," he told her, and jotted down the address before she left with her copy. He waited about five minutes, then he took the tray with the lunch dishes back to the kitchen and went to join Beckett, waving to the two fans as he left.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

The case they were called to this time wasn't going to be as easy to close as the last one. A housekeeper had come in that morning to find her employer slumped over his desk with a bullet wound to the head. Lanie was already there and had tentatively placed time of death between two and four in the morning. A murder weapon hadn't been found yet, but there were uniforms out scouring the immediate area for any sign of one. Neighbors were being interviewed about the victim and any unusual activity that morning or at any time during the night before. Beckett and Castle spoke to the closest neighbors, gaining some information about family and a couple of close friends; and they left Beckett's card, in case someone remembered something helpful later. Ryan and Esposito were arranging for security footage and checking for other cameras in the vicinity. After it seemed they had gleaned what information was reasonably available at the time, the team returned to the twelfth, leaving the crime scene team to finish its job in peace.

The new case offered Beckett and Castle the opportunity to get into the captain's office. She had been waiting for an answer to the note she had delivered to Beckett, and readily offered them the opportunity to talk.

Castle had asked Beckett where to find the picture in the captain's office and was surprised that he hadn't noticed it before. While Beckett gave Gates the run down on the information they had so far, he glanced around the office until he spotted the picture.

When Beckett had finished her brief report, Castle pointed out the picture. "Beckett said the police force goes way back in your family. Is that a relative in the picture there? Looks like the Prohibition Era."

"It is. That picture is from 1922…my great-grandfather and his son, my grandfather, who also joined the force."

"You know, I own a bar that dates back to that time. I bought it a year r so ago after we had a case connected to it. There are things below it that date back to a lot of activity from your great-grandfather's day. Most of the original building is still there…beautiful old woodwork, tunnels and rooms under it where liquor was hidden..."

"Roy told me about that. I believe you also became the owner of an historic bottle of whiskey after that case as well."

"Yes, I did." He paused a moment. "I know you don't usually socialize with your staff, but if you're interested in an historical visit, I could give you a tour of what's there. The bar itself is amazing, a lot of the original building and woodwork; but what we found under it is fascinating…as long as you don't mind dark passages and a few cobwebs."

"Roy certainly found it intriguing. I might take you up on that. Do you have a time in mind?"

"Would you prefer sooner or later?"

"Sooner, I think."

"Then what about Friday after work?"

"About seven?" Gates asked.

"Drinks will be on the house."

"No need for that."

"A matter to be decided on Friday night." Castle responded.

"Is that everything, Detective Beckett? I need to get back to work."

"Yes, Sir. That's it," Beckett answered. "Come on, Castle. I'll type these notes up."

As they were just past her door, Captain Gates heard, "Here's an idea, Castle. Instead of sitting there playing Angry Birds, you could read me the notes and speed the process so we can leave sometime today." Still looking down at the file she was reading, Gates smiled.

By the time they sat down at Beckett's desk, the boys came in with the crime scene photos, and together, they set up the murder board with the limited information they had, then they all went back to their desks and typed up their notes. Castle read Beckett's copious notes to her, now and then stopping to complain about her handwriting, and she finished the job quickly. After conferring with the boys, they decided to go home for the day and check the security footage when they came back in the morning. They should have other information to work from by then, too.

xxxxx

In the car on their way home, Castle asked, "Did you call your dad yet? You promised, and he knows you should be home by now."

"No. I need to do that."

"Why don't you ask him out for a dad/daughter dinner date tomorrow night? He'd like that."

"How do you know he'd like that?"

"'Cause I'm a dad, and I'd like that. And you know he would. You could wear that new dress you haven't worn yet…dress up for him."

"That's a good idea. I'll talk to him tonight and take him somewhere nice. And you're right. He'd love it. We haven't gone to dinner without a reason behind it for years." She paused for a long moment. "You should do the same for Alexis. I've been occupying too much of your time lately. You should have one of your dad/daughter nights. Put on a suit for her and let her dress up. You'd both enjoy it."

"So, my place tonight?" Castle asked as they drove toward his loft. "Since we'll be taking care of family tomorrow night."

"Neither of us slept much last night. Maybe it would help to have an entire night of good sleep."

"Exactly what I was thinking," Castle answered as Beckett pulled the car into Castle's parking area and turned off the engine.

When they got to the loft, Martha and Alexis were already there.

"Unless one of you feels like cooking tonight, help us decide what to order," Martha said from where she and Alexis were looking over the take-out menus.

"Something with some substance," Castle answered. "We had sandwiches for lunch, and I don't know about Kate, but mine is getting pretty lonely."

"Mine, too. What are we choosing from?" Kate asked.

"If we want real nutrition, we'd probably have to narrow it down to these three. See anything you like?" Alexis asked.

"What do you like?" Kate questioned.

"This is really good." Alexis pointed to an item on one of the menus.

"What about you, Martha? Does any of this appeal to you?"

"Darling, if I don't have to cook it tonight, any of it appeals to me."

Castle came to see what they were looking at. "Is anybody going to ask me what I want? Oh. Yeah. That sounds really good."

"I'll try what Alexis is having," Kate said. "Could I have the study for a few minutes to call my dad?"

"Sure. Take your time."

"Is everything okay?" Alexis asked after the study door closed.

"Fine," Castle answered. "She promised to see her dad when we got back, and she's going to ask him out for a dad/daughter dinner date tomorrow night. And, my darling child, I thought we might do the same thing…dress up and go somewhere nice. We haven't done that in a long time. Are you available for a date tomorrow night?"

"I'll go look for something to wear while we wait for dinner."

"Somebody needs to order it before we can start waiting for it."

"Go ahead," Martha told him. "I'm too tired to even call it in."

"Will you at least point to what I'm supposed to order?"

"If I must," she answered dramatically.

Castle called, Martha pointed, Castle ordered, then they both sat down in the living room and started waiting.

"Is Kate going to be here tonight?"

He nodded.

"Good," Martha answered

xxxxx

The next day at work was routine. A number of things were checked and discussed, a few things worth adding to the board turned up. Phone calls were made, witness interviews set up, security footage was checked, and a few possible leads were found. Not an exciting day, but a productive one.

After work, Kate again parked at the loft. That's where her new dress was, after all. She showered and dressed and took time with her hair and make-up, and Castle took time to be sure he looked his best.

"Your dad's going to be impressed," he told Kate, wrapping his arms around her from behind as she stood at the mirror checking her hair one last time. "You look great," he assured her, leaving a little kiss on her neck.

"You're looking good, too. Alexis will be proud of you. Thank you for thinking of this. My dad sounded so pleased." She turned her head to kiss his cheek before she put on her lipstick."

"Wait until he sees how nice you look…just for him. Maybe sometime soon we could have a dad/daughter double date."

"That would be nice." Changing the subject abruptly, she said, "I want to see Alexis before I leave."

When they left the study, Alexis was waiting in the living room, talking to Martha.

"I'm going to have the best looking date at that restaurant," Castle said proudly. "You look beautiful, Pumpkin."

"Yes, you do," Kate agreed with a smile. "You look perfect. Have fun. I'm going to meet my dad now."

Castle took the keys to the Ferrari out of his pocket and held them out to Kate. "No sense in taking him out in a police car when this is available."

"No. I was just going to get a cab."

"You love driving this car. And wouldn't it be more fun than a cab? Wouldn't you like to see his face when you drive up in this? I don't need it. I have a car picking us up in a few minutes." He jiggled the keys at her in an effort at temptation.

Kate grinned. "I feel like I shouldn't, but I would love to see his face when he sees it. Thank you." She gave him a quick kiss, checked to see that she didn't leave lipstick marks, and left, calling, "Goodnight, Martha," over her shoulder. Castle turned to his daughter and said, "And you and I, m'lady, will be taking a limousine for dinner and dancing."

"This is going to be old people dancing, isn't it?" she asked, good humoredly wrinkling her nose.

"Well, it gives you a chance to use those ballroom dancing skills your grandmother thinks everyone needs to function in life. A little change won't hurt us now and then." At the door, he said, "Goodnight, Mother. Enjoy the peace and quiet."

When they left the elevator downstairs, Castle offered his arm to his daughter, and she took it as they walked to the waiting limousine; and behind them the doorman smiled at the pair he had been watching for so long.

xxxxx

Kate called from the closest traffic light to her dad's apartment, and asked him to meet her in front of the building. She had her phone in hand when she pulled up to the curb just short of the front door and snapped a picture of the moment when he recognized who was driving the car. To her, it was priceless…a memory they would laugh about later.

"Hi. I'm here to pick up my date," she told him.

"And he's ready," he answered. "Rick let you drive this?" he asked almost reverently.

"No. I stole it from his parking garage. He hasn't missed it yet."

Her father laughed.

"I was going to pick you up in a boring old cab, but he insisted…actually pushed me to take it," she told him as she pulled out into traffic. The place we're going has secure valet parking, or I would have refused. I wouldn't want to leave it out on the street, or in any generic parking garage, and have something happen to it on my watch."

"Might test the relationship," her father chortled.

A few minutes later, Kate pulled into the drop off circle of a nice hotel and reluctantly gave the keys to the parking attendant. "This belongs to a friend, and it had better come back as pristine as it's going in," she warned with her Beckett persona.

As she and her father walked toward the entrance, he watched in awe as she turned back into Katie. "That was Detective Beckett I saw back there, wasn't it? That was pretty intimidating." He looked both shocked and proud at the same time.

"If that car comes back with a single scratch, I'll let you watch me take him down," she answered with a grin, which her father returned. The evening was off to a good start.

The hotel had a restaurant with a longstanding reputation for good food and excellent service, and Jim Beckett was again impressed. Better than being impressed, he was almost overwhelmed that his daughter had made such an effort for him.

"You look beautiful, Katie. I'll have the best looking date here."

"That's a dad thing, isn't it? That's almost exactly the same thing Rick told Alexis."

Arriving at the restaurant, they stopped for their reservation to be verified and were seated. "Rick is taking Alexis out tonight, too?"

"It's dad/daughter date night. We both knew you needed to know I'm okay, and this is much more fun than just stopping by the apartment."

"He got the reservation on this short a notice, too, didn't he?"

"Are you going to question all the mystery of this date, or are you going to just enjoy it?"

"I'm going to just enjoy it," he agreed. "You look happy. That alone makes tonight special. I don't remember the last time I saw you this relaxed.

Menus were delivered to the table and orders placed for sparkling juice. "You can have wine, Honey. I'm an old hand at this now. You don't have to worry."

"Working with my date, Dad. Just go with it."

"Yes, ma'am," he answered.

They made their selection and a member of the wait staff miraculously appeared to take their orders almost by the time their menus touched the table…then they settled into conversation as they waited for their meal.

"You're really all right now…no residual problems from your injuries?"

"I'm fine. You can call Rick tomorrow for verification if you want. And I went back to work on Monday…lots of excitement the first day back. No new injuries. Three cases so far. A busy week."

"How was the book tour?"

"Tougher on Rick than I'd imagined a book tour could be. You'd think travelling around signing books would be easy, but I never thought about the number of airports and plane rides involved or the number of people who actually go through those lines at the bookstores…and he takes time to make each of them feel like that three quarters of a minute or so is entirely theirs. I think he mostly enjoys it, but he's so glad when another one is over."

Turning serious, Jim insisted, "Tell me about those injuries, Katie. Tell me what happened, and then we'll put it aside and enjoy the rest of our date."

Kate gave him a limited summary of the fight on the roof, ending with hanging off the side of the building and being pulled back up. It hurt when she saw the color drain from her father's face.

"Oh, Honey, it's hard to imagine that. Has it come back to haunt you?"

"Not as much as the shooting. I'm working with a therapist, Dad. I have been since not long after I went back to work last fall. Mom…PTSD…Castle…making all the pieces fit."

"Why didn't you tell me?

"I had already worried you enough last summer. I promise you, it's the last time I'll let obsession drive me to a place like that. There's too much to live for now. My outlook is different."

"Because of Rick?"

"Because of Rick," she agreed. "He's helping me make all the pieces at least work together…even if they don't quite fit yet."

"My daughter is finally head over heels in love…with the right man."

She looked down before she met his eyes directly. "I think you're right, and it's looking like you approve."

"I've been on his side since before you finally had the good sense to leave Dr. Motorcycle Boy."

Kate looked shocked. "Exactly how well do you and Rick know one another?"

"That term fell out of him at the hospital after Josh punched him and blamed him for getting you shot. The name stuck in my mind. Richard Castle is good for you Katie. When I left his place a few weeks ago, he put his arm around you and looked at you the way I know I looked at your mother. The work you're both doing… Life is unpredictable. Don't waste a minute of whatever you have left of it. You know what a good man he is. You know you can trust him. Do what your heart wants to do. Don't make him wait too long. You're good for him, too."

"We're working on it. We've already made a lot of progress."

"All right. Lecture over. Did you have time to do anything fun on your trip?"

Kate smiled and told him about Ahmed and security and Paula and Mack and Rosa and the ranch and the horses and the last book signing in Manhattan. She talked and he asked questions, and by the end of the meal they had laughed through most of the shopping adventure in the Hamptons. A few parts she wasn't telling him.

When she motioned for the check, the waiter promptly presented her with the bill folder, which she opened to find only the note Rick had instructed the staff to enclose in the folder when he left his credit card number. It was marked 'paid,' and read, "Mr. Castle wanted to surprise you. He hopes you and your father enjoyed your date."

She called the waiter back over, trying not to look too upset. "When was this arranged?" She asked.

"When the reservation was made, I believe, ma'am. Is there a problem?"

"Only that I didn't know…so I could stop him, she muttered under her breath."

"Surprises are by definition not known, Katie. Just thank him and surprise him with something in return."

She turned back to the young man and simply thanked him for the excellent service.

"My pleasure," he answered, looking relieved that there was apparently no real problem.

"Well, I can certainly afford a generous tip, she said, leaving money in the folder, but Castle probably already did that, too. I think I worried the poor waiter."

"If you did, I'm sure an extra tip will soothe any frayed nerves. The service was so good it was almost like they were reading our minds," her father said with a smile. "Give Rick credit for good intentions, and don't be too rough on him. From his perspective, it isn't as grand a gesture as it is from yours," he argued for Rick as they returned to retrieve the car. "I have no idea how much he has, but he's had a lot at his disposal for so long; I don't imagine tonight even registers on his radar as anything special…except knowing that you and I enjoyed it…which we did, right?"

"Yeah. We did. It was really nice." She put an arm around Jim's waist and leaned her head on his shoulder, and he put one arm around her shoulders as they stood quietly for a couple of minutes waiting for the car.

When the attendant returned with it, doors were held for each of them to get in, and as they drove away, Kate picked up the conversation from where they left it. "I know exactly what he has, Dad, because he showed me. He said he knows it doesn't matter to me whether he has it or not, and I think he does know that. But it doesn't give him free rein to make decisions for me, even if they're small ones like this. I know his intentions were nothing but good. He did it for both of us, because he loves me, and he knows I love you."

"I know you need to hold on to some part of that independent streak you've always had, but remember his intentions, and keep the Detective Beckett I saw earlier at bay when you make your argument. He's going to understand. He just got carried away because…"

"I know. I should never have let him get away with that shopping trip."

"Did you both have fun?"

"Yes," she answered with a grudging smile.

"Then take it for what it is. He loves you. And argue your point from there."

"When did you get so smart?" she asked.

Jim just laughed and enjoyed the ride home.

Kate got out of the car and hugged him before she left. "We should do this more often," she said.

"I'd like that a lot," he answered and kissed her forehead before he went back into his building.

xxxxx

Once Kate had Castle's Ferrari safely back in its parking space, she contemplated getting in the Crown Vic and going back to her apartment; then she remembered the looming meeting with Gates the next night. She knew it would be weighing on Rick's mind, too, and they would have a better chance at sleep if they were together. Her dad was right. She had to see things from Rick's perspective, too. Her argument could wait.

She let herself into the apartment and realized everyone had already gone to bed. Checking her watch, she was surprised; she hadn't noticed how long she and her dad had talked. The bedroom was dark. She didn't think Rick was asleep, but he didn't say anything; so, just in case, she went in the bathroom to undress so the light wouldn't bother him.

When she got into bed, she heard, "Hey," from beside her. He was lying with his hands folded behind his head and didn't reach for her the way he usually did.

"Am I in trouble?" he asked.

"First fight tomorrow," she answered.

"And tonight?"

"Let's do something that makes us sleep like babies," she answered.

When a relieved Rick turned and put his arms around her, he discovered, to his satisfaction, a complete lack of nightclothes; and he set about exhausting them so they would sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Castle and Beckett woke the next morning well rested. She got up, put on the pajamas she had ignored the night before, and went to make coffee. Rick waited until he could smell the coffee before he put his pajamas back on, took his time in the bathroom, and went out to join her. A caffeineless Beckett was not a woman he wanted to argue with, and he had a feeling there was an argument in the offing.

Relieved to see her already sipping coffee, he took a chance, slipped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. "Might as well get this over with. How much trouble am I in?"

"A lot…kind of."

"There's a mixed message there, Beckett."

"You're not arguing with Beckett. My dad got a look at her for a minute when I warned the parking attendant that the car better come back in the same pristine condition he got it."

"Wish I'd been there," he chuckled, knowing he was pushing his luck.

"Anyway, Dad advised me to keep Detective Beckett at bay when we argue, so you're arguing with Kate…who is apparently more appealing...and appreciates your good intentions."

"But?"

She turned, leaving his arms, and faced him. "But you can't keep taking decisions out of my hands like that. Especially the big ones like Smith…although, after the last incident with Maddox, I might understand why you didn't think you could afford to tell me."

"It killed me not to tell you, Kate. The guilt was awful, but I was afraid that, if you knew, it would _literally_ kill you. You would have been out there trying to find Smith, as well as anybody else connected to your mother. I'm sorry it made you feel betrayed, but I can't be sorry I did it. It kept you alive."

"Until I thought I was invincible and nearly got myself killed again anyway?"

"Yeah. That. I know I said I wouldn't do anything else without your permission; but I've realized, if it comes down to your life, in similar circumstances, I don't know that I can honestly promise you I wouldn't do it again. I don't want to lose you…especially not now that I know what it's like to have you. What would you do if it were my life on the line…if the situation were reversed?"

"I don't know. Probably the same thing," she grudgingly admitted. "Those decisions are few and far between, though. It's smaller, everyday decisions I'd usually make for myself that you have to stop making for me. Last night I intended to do something nice for my father…to do it _myself_. It was your idea for me to take him to dinner, you made the reservation, and you talked me into taking the car…all of which he loved…and that was more than enough for you to have done. I was looking forward to taking what I had earned by working hard and using it to do something nice for him, and I was feeling good about it; then I got what I thought was the bill, and discovered you had made the decision that I wouldn't. I didn't want to make a scene and demand that they cancel such a nice gesture from you, but it took the wind out of my sails…made me angry that you took the decision away from me. It makes me feel like a child. You can't keep doing that. Castle, I was handling my financial responsibilities without your help for a lot of years before I knew you, and I still can. I'm not ready to give that up yet."

"I see your point. I guess I got carried away again. I love seeing you with your dad. It's a whole different piece of the Beckett puzzle…one both of you need. I like seeing you look at him the way Alexis looks at me. I like seeing you become Katie for a few minutes. The note was intended to mean that I love you and that I wanted you and your dad to have a good time. His last visit was a pretty angsty. I didn't think until last night that I might have overstepped. By then, it was too late."

"Maybe that's part of my problem with commitments. There's a certain amount of independence I'd expect to lose because there are two of us to consider; but other things, like last night, I should retain the rights to. You need to respect that enough to ask first, not just take over because you have the money to do it or the pull to arrange it, or whatever. It doesn't mean we can't surprise each other once in a while, but let's establish a habit of your not doing that kind of thing until I'm capable of accepting it as a surprise, not an intrusion. Can you do that?"

"I can try really hard. I've had enough money to do what I want for a long time. For most of my teen-aged years I had access to Mother's money, and for almost all of my adult life, it was my own. I like spending it on my family, doing things that will make them happy…and I don't always stop to think about it."

"But I'm not really a member of your family. Right now I'm somebody who loves you and your family and is trying to figure out how I fit in."

"In my heart, you're the woman I want to grow old with, Kate. In my heart, you're already a part of my family, and I think they feel the same way."

"But in anyone else's eyes, I'm not. I don't want to look like I just want your money. I got caught up in the world outside reality and let my guard down, and I loved every minute of it; but another adventure like the one in the Hamptons can't happen again for a long time. It's important to me that I hold on to my financial independence…at least until we work everything out. I don't want you calling around the city paying for things for me, arranging things for me without my knowing about it, talking me into borrowing expensive cars. Are we clear on all that?"

"Clear. I never meant to compromise anything important to you, and I'll try to rein it in, I promise. Can we kiss and make up now?"

"Yeah." She moved closer again and put her arms around his neck.

He rested his forehead on hers, and before he kissed her, he smiled and whispered teasingly, "Thanks for leaving Detective Beckett out of it. I do love her, too, but she can be a little scary."

"Then brace yourself, Writer-man," she whispered back. "Detective Kate Beckett is about to kiss you."

"Oh, the two of you are really good at that," he whispered when they broke the kiss, and he hugged her tight…right before they heard applause from the second floor and turned to see Martha and Alexis coming down the stairs.

"Congratulations. You had an argument without rousing the neighbors, and you've already kissed and made up. A good morning's work," Martha noted.

Castle looked angry. "How much did you hear? One of you could have cleared your throat or something…given us a little warning."

"If you're going to argue in the wide open spaces of the loft, it's fair game," his Mother told him. "If we hear it coming from behind a closed door, we'll try hard not to eavesdrop."

"We heard from just before Kate not really being part of the family," Alexis answered. "I want you to be, Kate. I know you and dad need to have a few more of these arguments before you've worked it all out, but it already feels like you belong here. We probably listened because we needed to know if you and Dad had hit a deal breaker. Grams and I have a stake in this, too. If you left, you wouldn't be leaving just him."

"She's right," Martha agreed. "And Kate is right about making decisions for her, Richard. She's a grown woman, entitled to decide what she is and isn't willing to accept. You do need to respect that. The fact that she let you take care of her and make some decisions when she was hurt doesn't signal open season on her right to her independence."

"Enough with the lecture, Mother. You were eavesdropping. You know we came to an understanding."

"Just see that you stick to it, young man."

Kate watched and smiled. "He's going to have to do something way worse than that before we hit a deal breaker. How could I want to leave all this love and eavesdropping?"

"I hope that never happens, Dear," Martha told her, taking Kate's face in her hands and pulling it forward to kiss the top of her head on her way to the coffee pot.

"I need to get ready for work," Kate said, suddenly realizing the time. "Are you coming in this morning, or are you writing for a while again?" she asked Castle.

"I'll be in at lunch again unless you need me for something. There are things in my head that I need to write before they wander off...even if it's just outlines. If you need me earlier, just call."

"Okay."

As Kate walked into the study, she heard a stern warning from Alexis. "Don't mess this up, Dad."

Alexis got her coffee and grabbed some yogurt from the refrigerator and went back toward her room, saying, "I have to get to work, too."

When Kate was ready to leave, Castle was sitting at his desk opening his laptop, and she stopped to kiss him on her way out.

"So we're really okay?" he asked.

"We're okay," she assured him, and left him with a kiss that made him believe it.

Not long after he started typing, Paula called. "We need to do some damage control," she told Castle with no introductory pleasantries.

"What now? I haven't done anything even remotely out of line lately."

"Apparently it's out there that you're a lecherous older man who's robbing the cradle."

"What!?" Where in the world would that have come from?" he asked indignantly.

"Someone obviously didn't do their homework. There's a picture of you and Alexis from last night…a really beautiful picture if you know what it is. Looks like you're dancing, and you're kissing the top of her head. We need to embarrass the people who printed it to within an inch of their lives as fast as possible…maybe threaten them with a lawsuit if they don't print a retraction as big as the original headline."

Castle sighed. "Idiots! I wish they hadn't dragged Alexis into it. What do we need to do?"

Get yourself here for a press conference at two this afternoon. We'll turn the big conference room into a studio for the afternoon, and I'll get as many entertainment reporters as I can here to get your side of the story. If Alexis wants to come in, too…"

"You know how I feel about that, Paula. I've spent her whole life trying to keep this sort of thing away from her."

"Up to you, but I'd bet that girl of yours would have them eating out of her hand by the time she finished with them."

"No. She's already at work this morning, and there's no need to bother her with it. By the time she gets home tonight, it should already be resolved. I'll call Kate and let her know I won't be in this afternoon after all. Thanks, Paula."

xxxxx

Castle arrived at Black Pawn that afternoon well-dressed and looking as clean cut as he knew how to manage. Paula took him to her office, they went over what he intended to say, and she encouraged him to keep any venom out of it. He was usually quite the charmer with the press, even able to joke about it if it were bad press…but his daughter had always been off limits, and he was not happy about the situation they were in now.

"We'll start in about five minutes, Rick. Are you okay?"

"No, but as long as the people in the room had nothing to do with the story, I can answer their questions."

"Just for the record, Alexis knows. She called about forty-five minutes before you got here, and she wanted to know what happened. I told her we had it covered with this little press conference."

"She called you?" Castle asked, surprised.

"She didn't call you?"

"No. Maybe she thought you'd have more information. She'd usually call me, too, though."

"Well, we don't have time to worry about it now. I'll go and talk to them first and then come and get you."

"Go. Let's get it over with," Castle answered, sounding sullenly resigned.

Paula left and returned a few minutes later to take Castle into the conference room. On the way across the hall, Paula told the writer that they expected him to open with a statement, then he would accept questions.

He entered with his book signing smile, which was usually good enough to appease reporters at least temporarily, and it seemed to be working again. He took the microphone he was offered and started the statement he had prepared. "Last night, someone at a restaurant took a picture, with no knowledge at all of the situation behind it. That person then sold it to a tabloid reporter and profited from the carelessness. The reporter apparently wrote a story without fact-checking anything and submitted it to an editor who printed it completely unvetted. The fact is that I _was_ out dancing with a woman young enough to be my daughter because…"

A female voice from behind him took over the sentence. "Because he _is_ my father," Alexis finished for him, and walked over to join him.

"You're not supposed to be here," he said quietly, with a little bit of a scolding sound to it, and put his arm around her waist protectively.

"Eighteen now, Dad, remember? My decision." she said with her twinkly-eyed Alexis smile.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the lady in question…my beautiful daughter, Alexis, who, it seems, just finished my statement for me." Although he didn't want her in front of the cameras like this, he couldn't help the swell of fatherly pride that she wanted to come to his rescue. Looking down at her, he added, "I've been kissing the top of this lovable red head since the day she entered the world, and I have no intention of stopping any time soon."

Paula was thrilled. Alexis had the same charm her father did, and the reporters looked absolutely besotted by the picture of the two of them.

"So I guess we're open for questions," Castle continued.

"Was last night a special occasion?" one reporter asked Alexis.

"We've had dad/daughter date nights since I was little. Anything from ice skating to dinner and a show. I just graduated from high school…"

"Valedictorian," her dad chimed in…the proud father making an appearance.

Alexis elbowed him in the ribs, scolding, "Daaad," and went on. "And it was our last big dad/daughter date before I go to college."

Questions about college were taken off the table by Castle as soon as the first one was asked. "That isn't something too many people need to know. I'd appreciate it if that question could be struck from the interviews. We'll both make ourselves available to you at any public event, but I'll request that you respect my daughter's privacy otherwise."

Questions continued for both Castles for a few more minutes before someone finally asked the inevitable question about Castle's reputation as a ladies man. Alexis didn't shy away from the question. "It bothered me a lot once I realized what it meant. One, because who wants to think about her father that way; and two, because no matter what might have been true, I knew how much of it wasn't."

"How did you know it wasn't true?" someone asked.

"Because some of those reports were about nights that weren't school nights, and he was at home with me, letting me stay up late beating the socks off him at video games…

"Hey, I win every now and then," Castle chimed in good-naturedly.

Alexis grinned at him. "Or laser tag, or having popcorn and a movie marathon…or he was there to save me from a nightmare in the middle of the night or standing by with a glass of water and a wet washcloth and holding my hair out of the way while I was throwing up all night with the stomach flu. He's been a single dad as long as I can remember, and looking back now, I know it wasn't easy for him; but nobody could have had better father."

Paula called an end to the questions, and the reporters seemed happy with what they had. She took Castle and Alexis back to her office until the press had been herded out of the building and came back looking triumphant. "Well, it looks like Alexis has just solved our problem about how to sell Richard Castle being off the market again. She's just introduced the press to Richard Castle, family man. They loved seeing you together. I watched, and they were hanging on every word."

"I still wish we had kept Alexis out of it, but I have to admit to being proud of her. Can you have a car waiting downstairs before we leave, Paula? I'd like to be able to walk her straight to the car and go home. I think the press has had a big enough piece of us for today."

xxxxx

Beckett got to the loft about half an hour after Castle and Alexis, and Martha came in a few minutes later.

"Great performance this afternoon, Darling."

"Thank you, Mother," Castle answered.

"I was talking to your daughter, Richard. She has inherited the Rodgers ability to charm the cameras. And she changed your image today. Reporters are going to be looking for more of the two of you together now."

"I know. It's going to make slipping out to go to the Old Haunt tonight a little trickier."

"I know there was a press conference this afternoon, but what's this about Alexis and The Old Haunt?" Kate asked.

"Alexis upstaged her father this afternoon and is likely to have her fifteen minutes of fame over it. She was amazing…made Richard look like Father of the Year," Martha explained.

"I thought Alexis didn't do interviews."

"She practically took the microphone away from me and publicly asserted her rights as an eighteen year old. I thought for a minute she might whip out her fencing foil and challenge anybody who wanted to pick on her dad."

"I'm proud of you, Alexis," Kate told the teenager. Turning back to Castle she put an arm around him sympathetically. "You've had an independent woman day, haven't you?"

"I seem to be surrounded by them," he answered, and Kate kissed him on the cheek.

"That makes it a little better," he responded with a smile and put an arm around her. "The downside of it is that some of those reporters will probably be watching for us for a little while, so the privacy we've been enjoying might not be as easy for now. I suppose the first problem is to be sure no one follows us to the bar tonight," Castle told her.

"Maybe I should leave now and go back to my apartment…meet you later at the Old Haunt."

"That might be best this time. I'll call for a nondescript car and have the driver drop me off at the bar. You should probably go back to your apartment and take a cab from there. This will all blow over before long."

He walked Kate to the door and they had a very quiet conversation, intended to be kept away from loving, but eavesdropping ears.

"We'll figure tomorrow out after we take care of tonight, but we can't take chances with this meeting," he said. "I'm sorry you're caught in the publicity problem, too."

"It's part of who you are. I think I'm surprised we've avoided it as long as we have. Publicity doesn't make me happy, but you do. One more thing we'll have to work out. I'll be there a little before seven," Kate answered, and she left to go back to her apartment to wait until time to leave again for the meeting.

"Dad, is this going to mean Kate can't stay here for a while?" Alexis asked after Kate left.

"Don't worry, Honey. We'll work it out. I just don't want to throw her in the public eye yet if it can be avoided. I'm sure she can take it, but I don't want her to have to. It's harder to work things out when everything is being scrutinized in public."

"What's the big deal about The Old Haunt tonight?"

"The captain doesn't ordinarily fraternize with her staff, but I promised her we'd give her the tour of all the original parts of the bar and the things we found under it last year. Her grandfather was on the police force during Prohibition, and I thought she might find it interesting. She actually took me up on it, but I'm sure she wouldn't welcome finding a picture of herself in a newspaper, leaving a bar with one of her detectives and a civilian consultant. We intended it to be low key. I'm finally getting on her good side, and I don't want to blow it now."

"Well, if you need help, call me. I'll get out the fencing gear and come to your rescue."

"You didn't have to do it, but thanks for wanting to defend your father this afternoon."

"Always," she answered, kissed his cheek, and went up to her room.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Castle had the car pick him up in the parking garage rather than in front of the building, and he sat in front with the driver when they left and kept his head down as if he were looking for something in the floor. A couple of blocks away, he relaxed into the seat and looked at the driver. "Thanks, Gerald. There was a reporter moment this afternoon, and I'm pretty sure I spotted another one I recognized hanging around out front when we got home. I have someone from work coming in tonight for a little tour of the bar and all the history we found under it, and I'd just as soon not subject her to reporters. Detective Beckett is meeting us there, and I'd like to keep her out of their sight, too."

"Whatever you need, Mr. C. We've been through all this before."

"Yes, we have. That's why I asked for you. I don't think we'll be more than a couple of hours. I'll call you when I'm ready to head home."

Castle left the car, walked into the bar, asked for his usual, and told the bartender quietly, "Give my guests your key when they arrive, Mark. You know who to give it to," and went to his office to wait impatiently for Kate and the captain. They arrived at approximately the same time and came down together.

"Is your schedule still clear for the tour, Mr. Castle?" the captain asked, knowing he would understand.

"It's clear," Castle assured her, motioning both women to sit at a small table.

The captain rested both hands on the table and launched into the information she wanted to relay. "The two of you have to convincingly stay out of these cases. I ran the search you suggested, Mr. Castle and came up with two possibilities. When I showed my FBI contact the two names I'd found, and pointed out the most likely suspect, she bristled and asked me how I had come to that conclusion. I told her about the connections to your mother's murder and the attempts on your life, Kate, and she wasn't surprised that the two of you knew as much as you did. My contact's name is Jordan Shaw. I contacted her because I had worked with her on a couple of IA cases that involved out of state activities; she said she had worked with you as well. She and another agent here in New York were already aware of our suspect. There's an ongoing investigation, but the personnel is very limited…for the same reasons we're being as careful as we are about police contacts. This man has informants everywhere."

"Who is he?" Kate asked with an icy tone.

"You cannot, under any circumstances do anything to move in his direction, Detective. Anything that might attract his attention would undoubtedly get you killed and could result in more deaths and the unraveling of the entire investigation.

"Who is he?" Kate repeated. "I deserve to know, even if I have to let other people take him down."

"His name is Macon Gentry."

"Macon Gentry?!" Castle repeated in shock, and Kate leaned heavily against the back of her chair.

"The one on staff at the White House? That Macon Gentry?" she almost whispered. "He started his first term on city council here just before my mother…"

"The ransom money Roy talked about…campaign money?" Castle asked. "That's what gave him his start?"

"Probably," Gates agreed. "Having money he could represent as contributions would have given him some credibility, and from what Roy said, he had already started a local reign of death and intimidation to get what he wanted. I gave Jordan copies of everything we had, and what Roy told Kate filled in a couple of gaps in their information. They were glad to have that."

"How far does all this go?"

"I wasn't told a lot. Apparently most of his network is still on the east coast, but it's spread across the country, and it's still growing…reports of the same intimidation tactics in a lot of places. Apparently they caught wind of some of his recent activity and have hard evidence from somewhere that takes it back to the late nineties, and Roy's information takes care of a few years around the early to mid-nineties. They're now trying to cover the few missing years in between...that was when his real rise in power happened. And they're trying to do it without getting anybody else killed. They need to identify as many hard core followers as possible before they move on it. Tipping off even one of them could jeopardize the whole investigation. They believe most of the others involved are like Roy, coerced into working with them somehow, even if it was just keeping illegal activities quiet."

"What about the gun Evelyn used on the intruder?" Kate asked.

"She said it was Roy's first police weapon. Ballistics had finished with it before Ryan had time to talk to his friend, but nothing else came up…more cover-up, I'd guess. It didn't seem wise to look into it further. I also talked to Evelyn Montgomery about the missing picture. While she went to get pictures of her girls to show me, I found a listening device in her kitchen and when she came back, I 'accidentally' spilled coffee on it. I made sure it couldn't be working, but I left it, in case someone comes to replace it…although I can't imagine why they would now. I showed her the photo album from evidence and asked if she remembered the missing picture. She said it was one of Roy's service buddies; it was taken at their wedding by another friend. She thought he stayed in the service and went into Special Forces when Roy left the military for the Police Force. He and Roy would get together for drinks every few years, but she didn't really know him. She said she never saw him again after the wedding and couldn't remember his first name, but she thought his last name was Caylin. She still had the negatives of the photos their friend took at the wedding, though. Does this look anything like what you saw of Smith?" She put a photo on the table and turned it toward Castle.

"The shape of the face seems right, but his hair was gray…more white, I think. He didn't make it easy to see him, and it was from a distance. It probably is, but I can't be a hundred percent sure."

"They already knew about Smith, but they didn't tell me anything except that he can be trusted. I wish we knew what was in the information Roy sent Smith. I let Evelyn think the questions were following up a connected case and asked her not to speak to anyone about it. She was married to a cop long enough to understand the need to respect that request."

"What happened at your second meeting?"

"The second meeting was contingent on the outcome of the first, and Jordan didn't hesitate to arrange it. It was with the second FBI agent, who is coordinating with two agents in DC. We had already found a money trail going through Dubai, and they must have found connections in other parts of the world, because she said they have a liaison between the FBI and the CIA. I was questioned more than informed, but apparently, they're going to need support from NYPD when everything comes to a conclusion, and they were glad to have a starting point. They have access to the list of contacts I've put together, and when I spoke to the second agent, they seemed satisfied with the choices."

"Is that everything?"

"It's all I have now. There's a name for the perpetrator and a liaison between the two agencies, so at least three agents know I'm willing to work with them and that everyone in my network is aware of the need for discretion. At least one agent knows that the two of you can be trusted if wisdom allows it, and there is the strong probability of NYPD being involved in some way at the end. And we all know who we want to take down. I have to tell you, it's pretty intimidating…a monumental undertaking…the kind it's hard to believe they can pull off without someone catching on."

"At least it sounds hopeful," Castle said, taking Kate's hand. "And you have a name."

"Do you know how hard it's going to be not to use my badge to get close enough to just shoot him and then give myself up?" Kate asked.

"I hope you're just venting, Detective. Let the agents do their work, and know that your information from Roy tied up some loose ends for them. Maybe I'll learn more as they get closer to whatever they're still hoping to find."

"I said I'd stay out of it, and I will. I want their investigation to nail him for everything he ever did…every person, every family he destroyed. I won't be the one who does something stupid enough to ruin it…but this is so hard…just sitting back and waiting." A tear rolled down her cheek, in spite of her best efforts to stop it, and Castle put his arm around her.

"If that's everything you can tell us, let's get this tour underway before we look suspicious," Castle suggested.

"That's all I have for now," Gates answered. "And I'm honestly looking forward to the tour."

Castle pointed out some of the features of the office, He had researched the building when they were investigating and had a lot of information to share. Kate even learned a couple of things that hadn't come out during the investigation. From there, they took more updated lighting than they'd had available the first time they were there, and walked all the way to the river access, noting all the nooks and crannies that had or could have hidden people or illicit goods during the twenties. Then they went back upstairs and looked around the bar itself. Gates seemed to love all the old woodwork. When they sat at the bar and ordered drinks, she saw the display of author's pictures and noticed Castle's.

"I see you've added your picture, Mr. Castle…from your younger days."

"It was actually here when we were investigating that case. I worked on my first novel here when I was a college student. All of the authors whose pictures are displayed spent time in this bar working on something they later published."

"Then it appears you're in good company." She ran her hand over the smooth sheen of the wood of the bar, and her mind seemed to drift for a moment. "My grandfather, the child in the picture you saw, was quite a carpenter in his spare time. He built small pieces of furniture with finishes this smooth…tables, shelves, a couple of chairs. They're still in use in my family, and still strong and sturdy. He never got farther than the two front rooms of the house they lived in, but the trim work there was as nice as what you have here. That's still intact, too. He used to talk to me while he worked…tell me about the tools and why he was using each one. He was meticulous about everything he did."

The three of them talked for a few minutes, then Gates thanked them for the tour. "It was fascinating. My husband couldn't be here tonight, but he would love this. Do you suppose I could bring him sometime? Would you be open to another tour?"

There it was…the opening for another meeting later on…with the bartender as a witness that it just came up in conversation.

"Any time you want, Captain. I'd be glad to."

"I should be going. I'll see you at the precinct on Monday."

After the captain left, Castle walked outside the door and looked around for any sign of reporters. Seeing nothing suspicious, he called Gerald to pick them up and asked him to keep his eyes open, too. Gerald called from the curb and said he was watching a car at the corner of the next block, so Kate and Rick waited in Castle's booth for another few minutes, then Gerald called again and said the other driver got out and went in another bar a few doors from his car.

Arriving at Castle's building, Gerald drove into the parking garage, out of sight of the street, to drop his passengers off. Castle thanked his driver and asked if he would be available the next day.

"My youngest boy has a ball game at ten, but I can get away any time after one. Call if you need me."

"Same vehicle?"

"I'll see to it."

"I appreciate it," Castle answered and shook Gerald's hand when he gave him his tip."

"I don't like sneaking around, Kate," he said as they walked toward the elevator, "but I don't want reporters after you, too. Gates hasn't said yet how she intends to handle our being together."

"I don't like it, either," she answered.

Seeing the look that accompanied the comment, he said, "We need to talk, don't we?"

"Maybe."

"Looks more like definitely to me."

"You should talk to Martha and Alexis a little while first. They want to see you when you come home," she answered, reaching to push the button on the elevator.

"They want to see you, too. They both know this has been a difficult day. We'll play things by ear with them. They'll understand if we need to get some sleep. Then we can close the door to the study and take this behind the bedroom door where they have no excuse for listening in."

"Okay."

"Should I worry?" Rick asked when they were alone in the elevator.

"No." She took his hand to reassure him.

"Good." He leaned over to give her a little kiss before they reached his floor.

When they entered the loft, two redheads were sitting at the dining table playing cards.

"Hi. Want us to deal you in?" Alexis asked.

"No thanks, Pumpkin."

"How about you, Kate?"

"Not this time."

Seeing that they were occupied, Castle told them, "I think we're just going to go to bed. It's been a long day for both of us, and we're tired." He kissed his daughter's head, and caught his mother's hand briefly as she held it out to him.

Almost simultaneously, Kate held her hand out to Alexis in the same sort of gesture. "Night, Alexis. Goodnight Martha."

When he and Kate entered the study, Castle closed the door behind him as the two women at the table watched.

"They've known each other for four years, and you can tell how much they love each other. Why don't they just get married?" Alexis asked with a sigh.

"Sometimes grown-ups can make things more complicated than they need to be," Martha said wisely and dealt the next hand for their game. "Give them time."

"What's wrong," Rick asked, "and what can we do to make it better?"

"It isn't you, Rick. I guess it's having to be so careful about where we're seen…how we behave. The sneaking in tonight…"

"I could see that it bothered you; but to keep the reporters away from you, I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to let it show up in an entertainment report before the precinct knows and put us as well as Gates in a bad place. That wouldn't encourage her to keep me at the precinct. And she knows she's putting her life on the line to follow what we gave her. We owe her that much respect."

"I know, and you were right to do that. Maybe I just need to stay at my apartment for a little while…until we don't need to be so careful."

"But you didn't need to be alone tonight…not with everything I know is running around in your head after that meeting." He paused, remembering that morning. "Sorry. Your decision. Whatever you think is best for you."

"It's on your mind, too. And neither of us need to be alone tonight. I'd be pacing and thinking about it all night. Neither of us would sleep." With self-deprecating humor, she added wryly, "And it worked so well the last time I went back to stay at my apartment overnight. I ended up back in your bed in the middle of the night anyway. I might as well stay and save us some time."

"I know you never gave up your apartment in any of your relationships before…your safety net, I think…having one foot out the door if it wasn't working. Is that what this is about? 'Cause I've got to admit, that would scare me a little."

"No. This time I don't need a foot out the door. I want this at least as much as you do, but I don't know what I am here…other than loved; I do feel that when I'm here. But this is all new to me. I've never been with a man who had a child or a family to come home to…a daughter to be an example to…and I wonder if I'm doing that the way I should. I guess the sneaking in tonight just brought it to the surface. I've never been bothered by spending the night with somebody I cared about; but hiding from reporters and fans…sneaking in, in front of somebody I don't know… It kind of felt like we have some dirty little secret, and that's so far from how I feel about you." She sighed. "I don't know what to do with it."

He put his arms around her and nuzzled his face against her neck. I'm sorry. It didn't feel right to me, either. If it makes any difference, Gerald knows you're not a dirty little secret. He's known me a long time, and he knows I wouldn't bring one of those home to my daughter. You know where I want us to be eventually, and I'm ready for that any time you are. It would solve all the sneaking around problems. I could have introduced you to the fans…and we could walk right in the front door arm in arm, no matter who was looking."

"It's a little early for that, isn't it? And we should probably sort things out at work before we…"

"Do you intend to spend your life with me?" he asked, looking down at her.

She nodded.

"If we intend to work through our problems and make this last, we can have our arguments just easily married as not. Start thinking about that. Then, when we sort things out at work, we'll talk about it. Meanwhile, I don't think we'll need to be sneaky much longer. Entertainment reporters are a fickle lot. We'll just pray that somebody higher profile does something to grab their attention soon and they move on. Kate, I'm dying for the chance to tell the world I'm a lucky enough man that you actually chose me to love."

"And I'll tell them how lucky I am, too. Between Alexis and me, you may have a whole new image."

"Come on. Let's shower off the tour dust. We'll enjoy all those massaging shower heads, and I'll wash your hair for you. It should relax us both. Then I'll take you to bed and ravish you." He finished with a kiss and a little nip accompanied by a rumbling, tickling growl at her neck.

She smiled at him, asked, "Promise?" and followed him to the shower.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

The next three weeks at the precinct dragged by. While both Castle and Beckett knew that, because of its covert nature, the more important case going on in the background was likely to move slowly, both of them still hoped every day to be given the opportunity to hear more about what was going on. They didn't talk about it much, knowing that anything they said beyond what they already knew would be pure, worthless speculation; however, it stayed on their minds.

During the weeks following their meeting with the captain at The Old Haunt, Beckett did spend a few nights at her apartment. On one of them Castle couldn't sleep and ended up slipping into her bed in the middle of the night, saying, "Don't shoot. It's just me," when he saw her wake up and move too fast for his peace of mind.

Some of the other detectives on their floor had begun to notice that Castle and Beckett were driving in together much more often than they used to and leaving together on a regular basis. They weren't trying to hide that; but, other than a little flirting and the occasional 'eye sex' the boys kidded them about, there wasn't any inappropriate contact at work…nothing to indicate anything else was going on between them. And they had been doing those things for four years, even while they were each seeing other people. Then, one night, one of the other detectives was called to a location a few blocks from Castle's building; and as he sat at a traffic light on his way home, he saw the two of them get out of Kate's cruiser and walk down the sidewalk toward the front door with their arms around each other's waists. They were laughing about something, and Castle moved his arm up to her shoulders and pulled her close. Her arm stayed firmly around his waist, and she leaned her head on his shoulder as they went inside. The next morning there was a lot of quiet gossip and speculation, and by the end of the week, money was changing hands and bets were being settled.

Gates had still said nothing to them; and surprisingly enough, the only thing they heard from most of the other detectives was on the order of "It's about time." It seemed that their flirting now and then was acceptable and their hands off policy in deference to the workplace was respected enough that the others generally left them alone about it. One man did question the captain about partners having a relationship, and he was informed that, since Mr. Castle was a civilian, who was there at the request of the mayor, her jurisdiction over the situation was a gray area. The detective found that he had to answer "No" to her questions about whether he had seen any inappropriate behavior at work or in the field, whether the detective and the civilian now being a couple was affecting anyone else's work, or whether there was any drop in the efficiency with which the two of them did their own jobs. He was subsequently told, "Then, under the circumstances, I intend to leave the situation alone until one of those things happens. If that should occur, I will deal with it appropriately. Thank you for bringing it to my attention."

Seeing Castle in the break room when she went in later, Gates got her coffee, then stopped at the door and mouthed "My office," before she left. He knew it was probably about another meeting, and it was all he could do not to run behind her and follow her in; but he instead went back and delivered their coffees to Beckett's desk, and they worked on adding the last of the information they had to the murder board. That done, he went to Gates' door and told her, "Beckett and I skipped lunch. We're at a standstill until the lab results come in anyway, and that isn't likely to happen until later this afternoon; so we're going to get a quick bite to eat. We'll be at the diner on the corner."

"Thank you." She let him turn to leave, but called him back. "Mr. Castle, I've meant to ask...my husband is anxious to take advantage of your offer of another tour of The Old Haunt. He was disappointed that he couldn't be there for the first one. Could you manage to find some time soon?"

"Be happy to. Is one evening better for him than another?"

"A weekend night would probably be best," she answered.

"What about Sunday night? We aren't usually crowded. We could have dinner and wander below the city for a little while."

"This Sunday?"

"About six this time?"

"That sounds fine. I'm sure he'll be looking forward to it."

"And I'll look forward to meeting him. Beckett and I won't be gone long."

Beckett met him on his path to the elevator and fell into step beside him, looking over at him with a smile. "I like that everybody here knows…even if I can't hold your hand right now like I want to. It takes away a lot of the tension."

"Yeah, it does. You can grab a quick kiss in the elevator. I promise to cooperate," he answered with a flirty grin.

"You're on," she agreed, and grabbed him mischievously as soon as the doors closed. They were both smiling when they reached the ground floor and left the building to walk to the diner.

When they were seated and their orders were taken, Castle told her, "The captain is bringing her husband for a tour in and under the bar."

"When?"

"Sunday night. You want to come along again?"

"Wouldn't miss it," she answered, and he reached across the table and held her hand…a poor excuse for the hug he knew she needed, but they would take care of that later. For the time being, they would simply have lunch and get back to work.

That afternoon yielded lab results that provided considerable help for their case…narrowed the current suspect pool to two. The four members of the team theorized for a while and checked their notes again, looking for anything they might have missed, and they all went home feeling closer to an end to the mystery.

xxxxx

Knowing that Martha would be out for dinner and a show that night…with someone she described as a nice looking and charming gentleman, and that Alexis was going out with friends, Rick and Kate planned to distract themselves from thoughts of their much anticipated meeting with Gates by indulging in other endeavors. The red nightgown Kate had bought to celebrate the last of her bruises had been lost to the days at the ranch, the return to life with a family, the exhaustion of work, and general forgetfulness; but she had remembered it that morning. She had bought Rick another silk robe…this one a short one with matching boxers, and left it folded on the bed for him when they got home.

Alexis had finished her internship with Lanie and had thrown herself into preparing for college. She had been college shopping that afternoon and Kate went to take a shower to let Castle enjoy his daughter's excitement. She knew they needed some time for just the two of them now and then, so Kate left them emptying bags and talking; and she was sure Alexis would gladly show her all the purchases later.

Sure enough, when Kate came back later, much more comfortably dressed in leggings and a long shirt, Alexis was ready to present the shopping results to her. This time Castle excused himself to take a shower.

"Let's see what you have."

"Paige went with me, and we found ourselves great backpacks. They're supposed to be easier on your back. I've seen the size of some of those books I'll need, and that's probably a good idea, she said excitedly. "And we went to the college bookstore and found all kinds of things." She pulled out a sweatshirt and a hoodie with the university logo on both and a variety of smaller things. "And on the way home, I couldn't help buying some new clothes. Just a few things, but I decided I should be rewarded for working with all the dead people for months."

"Lanie would approve of your reasoning," Kate answered with a big smile at her girl's enthusiasm. She suddenly realized she had begun thinking of Alexis as hers and wondered if she should…then decided it was too late not to.

"I remember doing this when I got to California," Kate told her. "My parents flew out there with me, and we measured things in my dorm room that afternoon and went shopping the next day. My mother and I had worn my dad out by lunch time, so he went back to the hotel and Mom and I went and bought out the stores. We had so much fun."

"I'm sorry about your mom, Kate."

"You know what? Having you around makes it a little easier. It makes me remember some of the good things…things we did together. I get to do some of them with you."

Alexis flopped down on the couch and Kate sat down beside her.

"Do I really help?"

"Don't you know me well enough by now to know I don't say that kind of thing if I don't mean it?" Kate asked, putting an arm around Alexis' shoulders and pulling her toward herself playfully.

"I guess so," Alexis answered, smiling at the playful attitude. "Sometimes I kind of wish you had been my mother."

"Not that I wouldn't be proud to claim you, but that might not have worked out as well as you think."

"How come?"

"Because when you were born, I would have been fourteen; and I'm pretty sure my father would still be locked up somewhere for having killed your father." Then she grabbed Alexis from behind and mussed her hair.

"Eeeeew!" Alexis said through a laugh. "I hadn't thought of that."

That was how Castle found them when he came back in sweat pants and a t-shirt.

"Ooooo. Look at all those manly muscles hanging out of that shirt," Kate said teasingly, mostly to gross Alexis out.

"Eeeew! again," Alexis giggled.

Castle, of course, protested the lack of respect from his daughter and started doing body builder poses in retaliation while Kate and Alexis laughed.

That was what his mother saw when she came down the stairs dressed for her date. "I hope the three of you can compose yourselves for a few minutes when Cade gets here," Martha interrupted, sounding amused.

"Cade?" Castle repeated, dropping the poses for the moment. "That sounds like a bad romance novel…or a soap opera."

"Well he looks like he could have been on the cover of one of those novels, so I'll call him what he wants me to."

"Eeeew!" She heard from Castle and Alexis in unison, both of them with mischievous smiles on their faces.

Kate was laughing and giving Alexis a pseudo-scolding shove. "You look great, Martha," she said just before there was a knock at the door.

"I think I'll get it myself," Martha said dryly. "None of you look like you can be trusted. Hello, Cade," she cooed as she opened the door. "I'm ready. Goodnight, children," she said over her shoulder, never letting the man into the loft.

"I'm going to change clothes," Alexis told them as she stood. "Everybody is getting together tonight at Dave's house before we all go our separate ways in a couple of weeks. It's pretty much an open house thing. Lots of talking…lots of food…people drifting in and out."

"Parents?" Castle asked.

"Eighteen," Alexis answered. "You promised you'd give me space."

"I promised I'd try. I'm not good at it yet," Castle called after her as Alexis bounded up the stairs triumphantly.

"She has a good head on her shoulders, Castle. She'll be fine, with or without parents. Do you trust her friends?"

"Mostly. It's just hard to accept that I need to start letting her go."

Kate patted the seat beside her and he came to sit with her, then she moved to the end of the couch. "Come here," she said and pulled him down to put his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and traced them over his face, and he closed his eyes and felt himself relaxing. "After she's on her way to her party, we'll dress up for each other, and I'll do what I can to distract you."

"Okay," he said with a smile." For now, just keep doing this. It feels good."

Alexis came down the stairs and went straight to the front door. "I'll be home by midnight," she promised. "Oh…and Dad? Dave's parents are always there."

"Thanks, Pumpkin," he managed to say just before the door closed.

"Did you find your present?" Kate asked.

"Yeah. You anxious to see my muscular legs, too?" he asked with his little eyebrow wiggle.

"Yeah. So get in there and make me happy."

He got up and took her hand to take her with him. "We left the purple hotness in the Hamptons. What do I get to look at?"

"You'll see," she answered, grabbed the gown from the drawer, and slipped into the bathroom as soon as he turned to pick up what she had bought him. She returned a couple of minutes later in the long, red gown.

"Now that's what I call a present," he said. "Beautiful to look at and fun to unwrap."

"You look good in that," she answered. "Come on. Let's just enjoy looking for a little while." She took his hand and pulled him into the study, remembering to close the door, just in case.

Castle jokingly gave her another body builder pose to show off his new silk, and she laughed and pushed him backward to sit him on the sofa, then sat on his lap. "I don't think I've ever met a man who could pull off looking that good while acting that goofy. I love to see your shirt hanging open with your bare chest hanging out," she said, stroking her hand across said chest as she spoke.

"Feel free to use me however you want," he invited.

"I'm planning on it," she answered and kissed him in the same playful spirit that had started their present encounter. They sat for a while, flirting and touching and kissing…having fun knowing that they had all evening to themselves.

That atmosphere even remained for a couple of minutes after Kate stood, put one knee next to Rick on the cushions and swung the other up to his other side, sitting across him, close to his knees, her silky red gown pulled up just far enough to allow skin on skin, draping a little over his knees. Their kisses were still relatively innocent, and touches were still interspersed with smiles and small bursts of quiet, rumbly laughter, then one kiss went just over the line, and the mood changed. Castle pulled her closer, his hands splayed over her back, and nuzzled his face against her neck, kissing his way down to her chest, between and over her breasts and back up to her neck. As his hands were moving up her sides and his kisses were about halfway back up to her neck, with Kate's head thrown back in pleasure, the study door burst open and Alexis was asking, "Dad, can I borrow…"

All of them froze.

"Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry," she said, and ran from the room.

Castle dropped his head to the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. Kate collapsed against him, thoroughly embarrassed.

"I need to talk to her," he said quietly, not looking excited at the idea.

"I'll talk to her. You can't go anyway. Seeing what's in those boxers right now certainly wouldn't make her any more comfortable about the conversation."

"Not exactly dressed for a chat with my daughter, either, am I? I'll be there as soon as…it seems appropriate?" he said with a hint at humor.

"Yeah," Kate answered, moving from his lap and going to see Alexis. She found her in tears, pacing back and forth near the foyer.

"Come here, Honey," Kate said, and enveloped her in a hug. "We waited until we thought you were on your way to the party. If we'd known you were here, we would have been on the other side of the bedroom door…or probably…"

"It's my fault. You were in the study…with the door closed, just like I asked; and I just barged right in anyway. I'm so sorry, Kate. I'm so sorry." She clung to Kate and cried on her shoulder.

"Come sit with me for a minute. We might as well talk about it." They sat back down on the living room sofa where the mood between them had been so different less than an hour before, and Kate put an arm around Alexis and pulled her over where Alexis could lean her head on Kate's shoulder.

"If you were ten or twelve, your dad and I could probably find a way to gloss this over and get past it; but you're eighteen, and you're not stupid, and I have no intention of ever treating you that way. Your dad says you're all honest with one another in this family, so that's what you'll get from me, too." She stopped for a moment. "How can I put this delicately?" Kate asked herself.

"I didn't leave any of us much room for 'delicately,' did I?" Alexis sniffled.

"Not much," Kate agreed, kissing Alexis' forehead, "but here goes. You didn't interrupt nearly as much as you probably think you did. We weren't..." She paused, looking for words, and decided on, "there yet. I think that may be as delicate as it gets."

"But you were getting there? Until me?"

Kate just nodded.

"It must have been a special night. Dad didn't look like he had anything on, but you're wearing that." She motioned vaguely toward Kate's red gown. I'm really sorry. I don't want to be in your way. I want you to want to be here."

"Your dad was wearing something I bought him…and he looked pretty good in it, too," she said, pulling a lock of Alexis hair teasingly. "It was a short robe and boxers. You just couldn't see much more than sleeves from where you were, and you probably weren't looking for them." Alexis shook her head hard at that point, and Kate smiled as she stroked the girl's hair. "And the only thing special about tonight is that we're together and we love each other. Every now and then it's just fun to dress for the occasion…look nice for one another. And I don't want to be in your way, either. I'll bet you've rarely felt like you had to knock on the study door before."

"Am I a deal breaker?" Alexis asked, her lower lip quivering.

"Never," Kate assured her with an extra little squeeze. "Not in a million years. Was this a deal breaker for you?"

"No. Just painfully embarrassing."

"Yep. Right there with you." Kate took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. "Then it looks like we'll all get over it. I just hope the sight won't be permanently emblazoned on your brain."

"Might already be too late for that," Alexis answered with a little chuckle, recovering a bit.

"Then maybe you could try to see it as a picture of your parents in love instead of parents just being gross and disgusting," Kate teased, kissing her forehead again.

"I'm trying to wait before… I don't want to end up where Grams or my mother did. When I have a baby, I want it to be because I'm ready for it…and I want it to have two parents who already know they love each other enough to stay together and take care of it. At least Grams kept Dad with her, no matter how hard it was for her. I could never leave my child behind."

Kate could feel a lot of hurt in that statement and instinctively held Alexis a little closer…and some of the question about the kind of example Alexis needed from her was now settled in her mind.

Alexis stopped and asked hopefully, "You said parents…you want to be my parent?"

"I guess I must have started thinking that way, 'cause it just popped right out, didn't it? If I'm going to be here most of the time, I might as well act like a mom when you need one. I won't try to replace the real one. I'll just be here when you need me, okay?"

Rick, dressed in more daughter appropriate pajamas and robe, had been watching a lot of the exchange from the door of the study and left it to Kate. He was proud of how she was handling the difficult situation they found themselves in, and Alexis seemed to be responding well.

He finally came and sat on the sofa at Alexis' other side, reaching over to stroke her hair.

"I'm really sorry, Dad," she said, not moving from Kate's side.

"You do know that when you set rules about closed doors, you need to respect them from your side of the door, too, right?"

"Yeah. I already apologized to Kate."

"Good. I assume it won't happen again."

"Definitely not," she assured him.

"Okay."

"I get off that easy?" she asked.

"It didn't look to me like it was that easy for you."

"Thanks, Dad."

"We never meant for you to see that part of our lives. But it's a natural part of loving somebody…just not the part of loving somebody that you want to share with other people." He paused a moment. "What happened to your party?"

"When I was in the elevator, I met Jeannie from downstairs. She had been in a foreign exchange program in France for the last few months of school and just got back. By the time we talked for a while in the lobby, it was raining; and I came back, but I couldn't find my umbrella. I was in a hurry, so I was asking if I could borrow yours. All this for a stupid umbrella. I really am sorry."

"I think we're clear on that now, Honey. You're forgiven. Do you still want to go to the party? You don't have to if you'd rather stay here."

"I kind of killed the mood, didn't I?"

"Pretty much," he chuckled, and leaned over to kiss her head.

"I think I'll still go to the party. My head needs to be filled with other visuals…and I'm gonna try hard not to think about whether the mood is back while I'm gone." She squeezed Kate around the waist. "Thanks, Kate. You're good at the mom thing." She kissed Kate's cheek, then turned to kiss her dad's.

Kate smiled, seeming genuinely pleased, and Alexis went to wash her face and pull herself together, then left for the party, her dad's umbrella in hand.

"Well, that was embarrassing," Kate said. "To Alexis I must have looked…"

"Don't go there, Kate. If she doesn't understand now, she will one day. She's the one who didn't respect a closed door. You said it yourself; we'll all get over it. And you're way better at the mom thing than the real one. She hasn't been able to depend on Meredith for much of anything all these years," Rick told her.

"How much did you hear?"

"A lot of it. Are you feeling any better about how you fit in here?

"Maybe a little. Did I really do okay at the mom thing?"

"I was impressed."

"Thanks," she answered, then was quiet for a moment. "Sounds like that 'commitment before babies' that you want is important to her, too. Did you plant that in her head?"

"I'd like to think so." He gave her a quick kiss. "Wine?" he asked.

"Right after you change back into the other pj's," she answered. "If we hear a key in the lock, we'll run for the bedroom," she grinned. "We can at least still look good…and you did look good." This time Rick was treated to a Kate eyebrow wiggle.

He smiled at that. "And see what happens from there?"

"Yeah."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Castle and Beckett had never met Captain Gates' husband and had no idea what to expect. When Gates brought him into the bar and joined them at Castle's booth, they were surprised to meet a man who was as open and friendly as his wife wasn't…at least in their presence. There was a slightly softer look to Victoria Gates that evening, but neither of them would dare to mention such a thing.

They ordered from the bar's limited menu of salads and sandwiches and had dinner before going down to the office, taking time to look around at the original architecture and woodwork first…the captain pointing out some things to her husband, comparing them to her grandfather's work. He agreed and commented on other things.

Once in the office, Terrence Gates told Castle, "I know Vicky needs to talk to the two of you, and I was a good excuse; and I know she doesn't want me to be part of the conversation. I know you'd rather be here; but to keep the timing reasonable, why don't you take me on the tour and let her talk to Detective Beckett. Ms. Beckett can fill you in after we leave. I'm a history buff. I can promise to be a good audience."

"I had thought the same thing. Let's get started," Castle answered. "I'm something of a history buff, too. Part of the reason I bought the bar."

"There are things that will interest you, Mr. Castle," Captain Gates promised, "but it won't take long to tell. We can join you before long."

"Take your time. There are lights for you outside the door." Turning back to his guest, Castle said, "Let's go, Mr. Gates. If you're a history buff, you'll love this."

"Terrence, please."

"Then I'm Rick," the two women heard drifting back as the men walked down the corridor.

"Male bonding?" Kate asked with a smile. And closed and locked the door.

"Let's leave them to it and get this done," Gates responded.

"What have you found out?"

"It took some effort to find out anything at all; but I insisted that, as much as some of my people have been through at this man's hands, if they want my cooperation, they need to trust me with at least an outline of what's going on. I don't intend to send any of my officers or detectives into this mess otherwise. It took some wrangling, but I got some sketchy answers. They have an informant."

"Who is the informant?

"I don't have his name; but he was already high up in the organization, possibly on the level of an aide or something close to that, when the executions started with Coonan and Raglan. Apparently, Gentry's weakness is meticulous records of what he holds over the heads of his associates when he needs them…and what was done in response if they didn't cooperate. The man the FBI is working with has been in charge of the records since the late nineties…since right after that period of time they're trying to recreate.

"What made him suddenly want to put Gentry out of business?"

His family was killed in an automobile accident year before last; that was his only family. Seeing how that loss devastated him, he began to realize that his records weren't just names and numbers. He started looking at how many real families had been affected or destroyed by Gentry and his people…realized he was one of Gentry's people. Gentry had nothing the man cared about to hold over him anymore...felt he had nothing much to live for; so, while he decided what to do, he stayed, pretended to be as loyal as ever, and started making copies of everything he had. When he saw the hit on you after there had already been a hit on your mother, he saw himself in your father's place. It seems that you were the deciding factor as to what he should do. He found names of FBI agents Gentry had on his watch list, thinking that if Gentry wanted them watched or discredited, they probably couldn't be bought or coerced. For just over a year now, he's been gradually passing the documentation to the FBI. He had years of emails, recorded conversations, payments to security firms who handled the strong arm threats for them, hit men, including Lockhart and Maddox, overseas connections and transactions, bank accounts…you name it. It had all been well enough hidden that, without our whistle blower, it could have been years before anyone suspected anything."

"Then why haven't they put him away?"

"They want to fill in those missing years before they give up. You know how careful they have to be. It takes time. They've already identified some pretty influential people among his network, and they want to identify the rest...trying to avoid either giving someone the chance to warn Gentry before they move on him or allowing the possibility of leaving someone else to pick up where he left off."

"Any more information on Smith?"

"It seems Smith is the liaison between the two agencies. He had been CIA long enough to know people he could trust, and he and contacted one of the FBI agents in DC. He knew Roy would want Gentry brought to justice. Roy's family was safe, but it looked like you wouldn't be, and he knew Roy felt that he owed you. That's why Smith was so willing to arrange blackmail and to work with Mr. Castle. He wanted to respect Roy's request; but you were getting too close to their investigation, as well as too close to getting yourself killed. He hadn't counted on that."

"Do they have any idea how much longer it may take to put together the rest of what they need?"

"They recently had a break on the missing years and it seems to be yielding a lot of additional information. They hope to make enough progress in the next month that they can bring this to a close not long after that. They'll ask us to have a large task force ready to pick up a lot of people at the same time, so they won't have time to contact one another. Some of them will probably be in our own precinct. We'll have to be ready for that. Detective, you and your team are responsible for bringing out a lot of information about the early years, and you were apparently the deciding factor in the FBI being involved, and your family are an example of a lot of suffering at Gentry's hands. They said you could be there when they pick Gentry up…if you want to. That will probably be in DC.

"I want to."

"I know Mr. Castle would like to be with you, but I can't arrange that for you."

"He can be close by. I doubt I could keep him away."

"I suspect you're right." The captain looked down as if deciding whether to say anything else, then she looked back up. "It's awkward to justify at the precinct, but I'm happy for you and Mr. Castle. There are days when I don't know how I would cope without my husband. I know things have been difficult for you in the past year, Kate, and I'm glad you have someone to turn to…that you have each other to depend on that way. I've had time to realize that he's a remarkable man."

"Thank you, Captain."

"We should probably meet the men…come back with a cobweb or something to look convincing," Gates answered wryly.

"I don't know about you, but cloak and dagger is getting old from my point of view," Kate complained.

"Mine, too, but it's worth it if they can stop the man. I won't try to tell you anything else until they're ready to act on all this. We can't take any more chances. No more notes, no more meetings."

"I understand."

They joined Castle and an exuberant Terrence Gates, and enjoyed his enthusiasm for the historical jaunt; then they went back, had a drink in Castle's booth in the bar, and Mr. and Mrs. Gates went home.

"He was so not what I was expecting," Castle said as they went back down to the office where they could talk.

After relaying what Gates had told her, she finished with, "It looks like we won't hear anything else until it's time for it all to happen. We know he's bound to have people in our precinct. That's going to be hard."

Castle put his arms around her. "Everything about this is hard. I just hope they can pull it off. One mistake and it would be like the first domino falling. Can you imagine how many people will have to be ready to act and how many places they'll be in? I'm not sure I can make myself believe it could actually work.

"I know. I feel like I'll be holding my breath until it's over."

"Let's go home…see if we can sleep tonight.

xxxxx

The next case that fell to them was as heartbreaking as the two college students from a few weeks before. They were called to a deserted area behind several buildings near the water. Just around the corner from an alley between two buildings, a man coming in for work had discovered the body of a woman in her mid-twenties lying on the seat on the driver's side of a small SUV, the lower part of her legs dangling over the edge of the seat. Uniformed officers were already there, and Lanie arrived about the same time as Beckett and Castle. While they looked around the area for any sign of evidence or hints as to what happened, Lanie went to take a look at the body.

Before checking inside the vehicle, they spoke to the uniforms, who were first on the scene; and suddenly, there was the sound of a child crying pitifully, and another officer came into sight from farther down the street. Beckett and Castle both looked up to see where the unexpected sound was coming from. A second unit had driven in to see if they could provide any assistance, and a young officer from the second unit was carrying a little boy who looked about two years old. The toddler had obviously been crying for a while. His little face was red, and he had reached the almost hiccupping stage. Castle instinctively went to the officer and asked about the child.

"We found him asleep in the back seat of the vehicle," the officer explained. "He was still asleep when we took him out of his car seat. We didn't want him to see his mom…at least we assume it's his mom…and want to get to her, so I walked him away from the scene. He was still sleeping for a few minutes, then he woke up and saw me and hasn't stopped crying since. None of us know what to do with a little kid like this. I walked him farther away…figured it would be easier for everybody to do their jobs without hearing the howling."

"Let me have him," Castle said, and the frazzled, young officer more than willingly handed the child over.

Castle took the little boy and held him, walking with him a little way from the activity around the body, holding a hand on the child's back and bouncing him on his arm as he talked to him in quiet, soothing sounds; and the boy calmed a little bit. He was still taking gasping, ragged breaths and crying the hollow wail of a small child who is terribly upset, but his movement calmed.

"Hey, little guy," Castle said soothingly. "We're gonna take good care of you." Castle's large hand enclosed the back of the baby's head as he brought the boy's cheek to his chest and kept talking in low pitched tones, rubbing the tiny back gently until the hollow crying settled into the ragged breathing that follows a crying jag.

Lanie stopped what she was doing when she heard the crying and watched as Castle got the little boy to settle down. She looked at Beckett, who was also watching, fascinated, and said, "If you ever want to have babies and decide on any father other than that man, you should be locked up for stupidity."

Kate came out of her mesmerized state long enough to ask in surprise, "Lanie?"

"Just sayin'…" Lanie answered.

"Anything I need to know about the victim?" Kate asked, taking a look at the body.

"Looks like she died here in the car, and not too long ago…probably strangulation…looks like she was raped. There's a car seat in the back. Was the little guy there the whole time?"

"Probably."

"That's awful."

"Looks like Castle has him settled down now," Kate reported.

"Looks like he's got the magic touch on more than just you," Lanie teased. "Go on over there with everybody else and gawk at the little scene stealer. Let me get my job done."

"Just for a minute. I'll be right back."

Lanie smiled. "The woman is weakening," she muttered, and smiled to herself.

Kate walked over to Castle. "Is he asleep?" she asked softly.

"No. Just quieting himself down," Castle answered.

Kate eased around where she could see the little boy's face. He had blond hair and hazel eyes, and his thumb was in his mouth. He was leaning firmly against Castle's chest, watching her warily. She tentatively reached out to stroke his arm, saying, "Hi, Sweetie," and he snuggled a little closer to Castle.

"It's okay. She's on your side," Castle assured the toddler. "She's one of the good guys."

"He's beautiful," Kate said with a smile.

"Yeah, he is," Castle answered. "It's been a long time since I held one this little. It feels good."

"How did you settle him down?"

"Same way we take care of each other. I put him where he could hear my heartbeat…and talked to him. In his case, it didn't matter what I said, just how I said it."

Kate rubbed her palm gently over one small arm. "He's so little. He won't even remember his mother. All he'll ever have is pictures and stories," she said sadly. At least I have real memories."

"He seems comfortable with me now. Can we take him back to the precinct until we contact a relative or CPS? He looks fine, but I guess we need to get him a medical check before we do anything else, huh?"

"We can stop on the way back to the precinct. Let me see if Lanie found any ID for the mother. If we have a name and address, I can get Ryan working on contacting neighbors and relatives. Maybe he'll have something by the time we get back."

"We'll need a car seat for him. Is his going to be impounded with the vehicle?"

"CSU should be here before we leave. We'll ask them about it before we worry."

"I'm going to walk him around…see if I can keep him calm."

"Okay. I'll go back and check with Lanie."

"Come on, little guy. We're gonna go for a walk," Castle said with a little sound of excitement meant for the child, and bounced him again. There was the barest hint of a smile around the thumb the baby still had in his mouth."

Kate asked with a big smile, "Did you see that?"

"Yeah," Castle smiled back. "He's going to be all right. Go do your detective thing. We'll be close by, right, Buddy?"

Kate turned back toward Lanie, then stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Castle."

"Yeah?"

"Don't get too attached. You know you're going to have to give him back."

Lanie had the victim's ID when Kate returned…Laura Kinsey, age twenty-six. Kate called it in to Ryan so he and Esposito could get the ball rolling on identifying more about the woman and the child and gathering information on next of kin. She and one of the uniforms went in search of potential witnesses, but they found no one who had seen anything unusual. They looked for cameras in the area and found several close enough to have caught activity from just before the stores opened, including one that could have picked up activity at the entrance to the alley. After obtaining the security footage from the stores, they returned to the crime scene to find Castle next to Kate's car, car seat in hand."

"They let you have it, already?" Kate asked, walking over to him.

"One of the crime scene guys had his own car this morning. He let me use his daughter's car seat…said he'd pick it up this afternoon. Here," he said, putting the car seat down briefly and using two hands to hold the little boy out to Kate. "You take the little guy, and I'll get this in the back seat."

"The child again gave Kate a wary look, but Castle talked to him during the transfer. "Remember, she's one of the good guys," he said, as if the child would understand.

Kate bounced the baby as she had seen Castle do earlier and talked to him as she held him, smiling as she did, relieved that the boy didn't protest leaving Castle. Castle got the car seat where he wanted it and turned to see Kate and his pint-sized companion smiling at one another as Kate crept her fingers up one little arm.

"You might be a natural," he told her.

"You softened him up for me," she grinned. 'He's so sweet."

"I hope the boys have things lined up for somebody who loves him to come and pick him up. I really don't want to have to turn him over to Child Protective Services."

"Me, either."

Lanie walked over to see the child as the body was being loaded to be taken to the morgue. "You know, the two of you look pretty domestic over here. Baby seat in the car, cooing over a little kid, and grinning at each other like fools."

"Just look at him, Lanie. He's adorable. How could you not smile when he smiles at you?" Kate asked.

Then he smiled, and Lanie grinned. "Okay. You got me, kid," she said to the baby. Then she looked at Beckett and Castle and said, "You two are going to be good at this if you ever get over yourselves and move on."

"We all need to get back to work," Kate answered. "Let's get our little guest in the car seat, and we'll go."

"You call the boys, and I'll get him strapped in," Castle told her.

Kate checked with Ryan before they left to find out whether they needed to call CPS or not.

"We called one of her emergency contacts, who turned out to be a close friend…a neighbor. They call the baby Mikey. The woman is his mother. His father was a Navy Seal…killed on a mission about three months ago. The neighbor gave us a number to reach the victim's sister. The sister is out of town but said she'd be back as soon as she could…said it would probably be about two hours."

"Thanks, Ryan. Will you get all the necessary paperwork taken care of? We're going to stop at the hospital and get him checked out."

"Sure thing."

xxxxx

When they left the elevator to walk toward Kate's desk in the bullpen, all eyes turned toward the sound of a small child's laughter and got a look at Castle and Beckett each holding one of the boy's hands and swinging him up off the floor and out of the elevator. The exuberant, full belly laugh that can only be produced by a very small human being filled that corner of the bullpen and elicited smiles from anybody within hearing distance. It was a surprising and welcome change in a room where people deal with murder every day. It wasn't lost on anyone that tragedy accompanied the appearance of the child, but his innocent smile and charm made the knowledge easier to take. Beckett and Castle were laughing along with him and picked him up to swing him one more time just to be able to hear the sound again.

"Got something you want to tell us?" Esposito teased.

From behind a highly entertained grin, Castle told Ryan and Esposito, "This is Mikey. He's a great kid, aren't you, Mikey?" He picked him up and perched him on one arm as he spoke.

Kate was grinning, too. "That has to be the most fun sound in the world," she answered.

"You know, the two of you look good with a little kid between you," Ryan teased.

"We all bonded a little bit while we waited at the hospital. They said he's fine. Kate has the paperwork," Castle responded.

"Go potty," Mikey suddenly said loudly, and everybody looked at Castle and Beckett.

Beckett's hands went in front of her in a 'not me' move, and she said, "All yours, Castle. I don't have the right equipment for those decisions."

"Okay, Buddy," Castle said, putting Mikey on the floor and taking his hand. "Let's find you a potty." Then he leaned closer to Kate and added in a whisper, "And just for the record, Beckett. There's not a thing I'd change about your equipment."

She chuckled and sat down at her desk.

Ryan and Esposito were behind Castle on the way to the men's room, and he raised an eyebrow when they followed him in.

"Ryan's looking for pointers for when he's a dad," Esposito explained.

"So what's your excuse?" Castle asked, lifting Mikey up to stand on the front of the urinal.

"Sooner or later I'll end up baby-sitting."

"Well, I'm winging it here. I had a girl to potty train."

"Oh, man."

"Yeah, well, you play the cards you're dealt, but she turned out just fine." He pulled down the little shorts, took Mikey's hands and showed him how to point in the right direction, and the potty mission was soon completed. Then he gave him to Ryan. "Hold him like a football and point his hands toward the sink," he instructed. "Now we wash your hands," he told the little boy. "First stick them under the water like me." He put his hands under the water, and Mikey did the same, splashing a little and laughing. "Now soap." Rick put soap on his hands and smeared some in Mikey's. Now rub them together, and he showed him how before the boy tried it. "And squish your fingers together, and Castle took the little hands, laced the fingers through each other and squeezed them a few times, saying "Squish, squish, squish," in a silly voice. "Now rub the backs," and he demonstrated and watched Mikey try it. "Then more water." Mikey's hands were splashing again, and Ryan and Esposito were laughing along with the boy. "Put him down and dry his hands, Ryan," Castle chuckled as he finished rinsing his hands.

"Almost makes me want a kid," Ryan said.

"Almost makes me want to borrow your kid for an hour or two," Esposito answered, and the four males all came back to the bull pen wearing smiles…and a few damp spots on their clothes.

"It took three of you?" Beckett asked with a smirk.

"Ryan was looking for parenting tips for the future. We don't know why Esposito was there," Castle answered.

"Went potty, Kate," Mikey said, leaning out of Castle's arms and reaching toward her.

"You did?" she asked, melting a little and picking him up.

He patted both sides of her face and proclaimed, "Big boy."

"Yes you were," she answered and settled him in her lap, where he busied himself playing with the buttons on her shirt.

"His aunt won't be here for about an hour," Castle said. "Is there anything here for him to eat?"

"I doubt it," Kate answered. I'm not sure I'd trust the stuff in the fridge in the break room."

"Good point."

"What do little kids eat, anyway?" Esposito asked.

"Same things we do," Castle answered, "Just not nearly as much."

"There's a McDonald's down the street. We could get him a happy meal," Esposito said. "Everybody has to eat lunch anyway. We'll get busy on the case when we get back."

"His aunt ought to be here about then," Ryan added.

"You aren't getting much done anyway," Gates observed from her door, leaning on the door frame with her arms folded, trying to hold in a smile. "Take him to lunch, then get back here and get busy," she ordered.

"Yes, Sir," Ryan answered with a smile, and they all took advantage and left before Gates changed her mind.

"The four of them enjoyed Mikey at lunch and stopped for Castle and Beckett to help him down the slide a few times in a small park on the way back. Then Castle sat the boy on his shoulders and they walked the rest of the way back to the precinct.

Back in the bullpen, Beckett grabbed the toddler from Castle's shoulders with a growl and held him in her arms for a moment, kissing his head. Mikey's arms went around her neck and she gave him a little squeeze as he snuggled close. "Castle, can you take him into the break room?" she asked. "We need to set up the board and start work on the case. His aunt should be here any time now."

"Probably a good idea anyway. He looks sleepy. The thumb is back." He took the boy from Kate, and Mikey snuggled on Castle's chest, thumb firmly planted in his mouth.

About ten minutes later, Mikey's aunt came into the station and was taken to Kate. After explaining the situation and checking ID, Kate took her to the break room, where Castle was sitting on the sofa, humming a lullaby and rubbing the little boy's back.

"Ms. Marina, this is Richard Castle. He's a civilian consultant."

Castle stood and quietly offered a greeting.

"Richard Castle, the writer?" she asked.

Castle nodded.

"I love your books…so did my sister. I understand you took good care of Mikey this morning."

"We all did. He made it easy. We enjoyed having him around."

"Thank you, so much. I…" Tears rolled down her face.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Castle said sincerely…even more for all of Mikey's."

"Thank you, Mr. Castle," she answered, reaching to take her nephew from him and tucking him close to her, the two of them being careful not to wake him. "And thank you, Detective Beckett. I'll be staying at Laura's place for a little while…if you need me for anything."

Ms. Marina got in the elevator with Mikey and waved as the doors closed, and the little boy's absence seemed to suck all the joy from the room.

"I think I might want one of those," Kate said quietly, intending it for just the two of them. "Not right now, but sometime after we're all settled."

"Yeah?" Castle asked, looking pleased.

"Yeah," she answered and walked back to her desk.

"As they both sat down, he said matter of factly, "You know what I want to do first, right? Where are we on that thought?"

"Might be on the same page." She paused for a moment. "I think it's important to Alexis."

Castle didn't look quite as happy as he had a moment before. "I don't want you to make a decision like that because it's important to Alexis."

Beckett reached over and laid her hand on his forearm as he started to move it. "It isn't just for Alexis," she told him.

"Do you know how much I want to grab you and kiss you senseless right now?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I'm not sure how safe you are from senseless, either."

"When we get home?"

"Count on it."

"We should finish putting the board together and get busy before Gates loses patience."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

The previous afternoon the team had checked footage from the surveillance cameras and had found two good pictures of a suspect…one driving Laura Kinsey's SUV into the alley and another of the same man leaving the alley on foot…all within Lanie's time of death window. A search gave them Norman Lakeson, a known sex offender, just out of prison and still on parole, and officers were sent to pick him up for interrogation.

Once they had him in the interrogation room, Beckett dropped the picture of the victim in front of him and asked, "Do you recognize this woman?"

"No," was his answer, but he was a bad liar, and his face told another story.

She dropped the surveillance picture of him on top of the other picture. "Well, we can put you in the car with her yesterday morning. Want to reconsider that answer?"

"Oh, yeah. She gave me a ride."

"Where did she pick you up?"

"Her parking garage. We live in the same building."

"And she asked you to drive? Isn't that a little unusual?"

Dropping another picture in front of him, she told him, "We also have you leaving the alley near where they found her body in the same vehicle."

"Hey, she was fine when I left her."

Esposito knocked on the door and came in with a lab report. "This should help," he said.

"Mr. Lakeson, the lab reports show your fingerprints on the steering wheel, the interior around the driver's side of the car, and on Mrs. Kinsey's belt and shoes and a button on her blouse, and you left your DNA. You're under arrest for the rape and murder of Laura Kinsey, and I suspect when we check security footage from the parking garage, we'll add the kidnapping of Mrs. Kinsey and her two year old son."

"I didn't kidnap no kid."

"Her two year old son was asleep in the back seat."

"I didn't see no kid," he protested. "And I want a lawyer."

"Looks like you'll need one. Add that gun you had on you when the officers picked you up, which violates your parole, and we're pretty sure you won't be going anywhere anytime soon." She cuffed Lakeson, opened the door and called, "Esposito, read Mr. Lakeson his rights and take him to booking. And he wants a lawyer."

"On it." He led the suspect away, reciting his rights as they walked toward the elevator.

"Ryan, he said the victim picked him up in her parking garage and gave him a ride. See if building security has anything usable. It wouldn't surprise me if he hijacked her on her way to work."

"Be back as soon as I can," he answered.

By mid-afternoon they had Lakeson on screen holding a gun on Laura Kinsey as he forced her to the passenger side and drove off in her SUV. They had enough that the district attorney should be able to lock him up for life, and they all felt they'd given Mikey some justice.

xxxxx

Kate had gone back to her apartment for a night now and then during the few weeks before their last meeting with Gates, but those nights had almost disappeared. A month had passed, and she found herself feeling too alone when she was there. It was kind of nice to have a little alone time, but she was getting used to having family around, and she liked it. And she liked having Castle around…missed the little touches as he passed her, his warmth next to her in bed at night, the little bits of silliness that made her smile, seeing his smile when she did something meant just for him.

Castle had conscientiously avoided it since the first time he mentioned it, but one morning as they were eating breakfast, he said. "You should officially move in. You've hardly used your apartment for anything except collecting your mail for weeks…and we like having you here."

"It seems so…" she paused, looking for words.

"Permanent?" he asked.

"I guess."

"Isn't that what we're supposed to be aiming for?"

"Yeah, it is," she admitted.

"I know you need some time to yourself now and then. Everybody else here has their own space. We have two guest rooms. We can bring whatever you want from your apartment and make one of them yours…an office…a reading room…whatever you want it to be. You don't have to give up your apartment yet if you don't want to. Settle in here with us, and you can make a decision about your apartment when it feels right."

"I think I'm ready to officially live here, but you don't have to reorganize your home for me."

"Do you have any idea how I reorganized for Mother? Let me do this. I want you to feel like something here is just yours. You've had to adapt to all things Castle. It's time we adapt something to you."

"Thank you."

He hugged her close and said, "I love it when you can just accept something now. Take another look at the room and decide what you want to do with it." He pulled back to look at her, animatedly telling her, "We can repaint, change the rugs, put carpet in…whatever you want…and we can go to your apartment this weekend and decide what you want to move. I'll hire somebody to bring it here when we're ready for it."

Seeming surprised at herself, she said, "I'm excited about it, too."

"Sometimes I worry…that I need you so much that I'll scare you away."

She leaned in and kissed him. "The thought of being without you is way scarier than how much you need me. You can stop worrying about that. I need you the same way."

"There are other things I'd rather do with you right now, but I guess we'd better get dressed and get to the precinct."

"Coming in late...and badly put together would be a little obvious. No need providing more entertainment than necessary.

Although they maintained their hands off policy at work, they had given up any pretense of not being a couple, no matter where they were. The media hadn't picked up on it, but they knew it was only a matter of time; and when it happened, Paula would help them handle it. They thought, with any luck, it wouldn't be until the next book came out, giving them a little more time.

During the next month, Kate accepted herself as a part of Castle's home…a different feeling than being accepted by the rest of the family. For a couple of weeks, they distracted themselves from the frustration of not knowing what was happening with the Gentry case by making decisions about what to do with 'Kate's room' and supervising the progress after the work started. Castle entertained her with wild suggestions for her to turn down and laugh about, and finally, after repainting and replacing rugs, they moved in Kate's sofa and a bookshelf. It was a large room with lots of wall space, and she liked the desk that was already in it. A bed, smaller than the original, was pushed back in a corner with lots of pillows and a couple of bolsters to make it reader friendly, with one of her bookcases on the wall adjacent to it. Her sofa was against another wall with one of her tables at the end, some of her artwork adorned the walls, and the bathroom was decidedly girlier. It felt like hers when they were done, and they both felt good about the compromise.

After the couple of weeks it took to take care of that reorganization, the Gentry situation was again weighing heavily on both Castle and Beckett. In spite of still making progress in their relationship, they were snapping at each other now and then, the way they did before they were together.

The more the Gentry case occupied her mind, the more Kate's personal demons haunted her sleep. Castle was waking her from nightmares more often, and she had to wake him from a couple of his own.

Knowing nothing of the case going on in the background, Martha and Alexis didn't understand the mixed messages coming from Rick and Kate. On the one hand, if anything had changed, they seemed to be more devoted to each other than ever; but on the other hand, they were arguing more over little things that a few weeks ago they might have laughed off.

"Mom and Dad have been kind of grumpy lately. You don't suppose it's falling apart, do you?" Esposito asked one morning. He and Ryan were standing just outside the door of the break room with their coffee, watching Beckett and Castle arguing over something trivial.

"I don't think so. Sometimes you just go through grumpy spells."

"Just so I don't end up in the middle," Esposito answered, then he saw Beckett waving them back. "I think Mom wants us," he said.

"Finish your coffee, and then see if you can catch up with these two witnesses," Beckett told them. "Castle and I have two more coming in this morning."

The boys scouted up addresses and work places, finished their coffee, and left to find witnesses. Once they were gone, Castle and Beckett were alone in their corner of the bullpen.

"I'm sorry I've been so grouchy," she told him. "I'm just on edge, I guess."

"I haven't exactly been the picture of charm and patience myself. Let's think of something relaxing to do tonight...give our minds something else to think about. Do we have time to get out of here for twenty or thirty minutes?"

She looked at her watch. "The first witness is due here in forty-five minutes. We could probably manage that. Coffee shop?"

"Sounds good."

They walked to Gates' office and knocked. When she looked up, Kate said "Captain, we have a couple of witnesses coming in later this morning. The interviews will probably run through lunch. We're going to the coffee shop for bear claws or something."

"Everything okay? It's looked a little tense out there the last couple of days."

"We're both a little edgy right now, but it isn't affecting the job." Castle assured her.

"See that it doesn't," she answered.

"Can we bring you something from the coffee shop?"

"No, thank you."

Castle put his arm around Kate's shoulders in the elevator and claimed a quick kiss, then they separately exited at the first floor and held hands once they were about half a block from the precinct.

"Being away from the desk helps," he said.

"I just want it to be over," she answered.

"Me, too. Not a thing we can do, though...and it's only Monday. It's looking like a long week."

"The woman on the corner…diagonally across the street…the one with the blue scarf. She's just moved here from rural Kansas to be a pole dancer in a strip club," Kate said, starting their people watching game.

Castle laughed when he looked across the corner to see a tiny, cherubic looking woman who looked more like she would be looking for a nunnery. "Ten points for wild imagination," he answered with a grin.

He took a quick turn at the game before they reached the coffee shop; and between that little break and the caffeine and pastries, they returned to the precinct in a much better mood. It got them through the afternoon.

By Wednesday, late in the afternoon, the tension was back. Just before it was time to leave, Gates stopped at Beckett's desk with a note attached to the papers in a file. This needs a signature before you go home, Detective. The note read, 'Come to my office and request Monday off. Mr. Castle may want to arrange a reason to be in DC that day. We'll need an itenerary' Kate looked up, as Gates returned to her office, pulled the note from the file, closed it in one hand and then, before closing the file, pretended to sign a page that already had a signature. Before she stood, she pocketed the note.

Knocking at the doorframe to announce herself, she said, "Here's the signature, Captain."

"Thank you."

"While I'm here…if we don't have something pressing on Friday, may I take Monday off…personal time…vacation?"

The captain waited a long moment, playing to the still intact and extremely annoying office bug, and moved some pages, as if she were checking schedules. "I think we can spare you that day, as long as it doesn't affect an ongoing case."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Go home, Detective. You and Mr. Castle have put in some long hours this week."

Kate nodded in response and kept herself in control as she picked up her purse and said, "Come on, Castle. Let's go home."

"I'm ready. If Mother or Alexis haven't had the inclination to start dinner, we'll order in." Once they were in the elevator, he asked, "What was that about?"

She pulled him close to kiss him and whispered, "When we get in the car," before he got a little peck on the lips.

xxxxx

Once in the car to go home, Kate took the note from her pocket and handed it to Castle. "We'll talk after we get home?"

"Right," he answered. "I'm going to need to see Paula tomorrow morning. I'll come in as soon as I can."

"Okay."

They rode home in nervous silence, both of them imagining everything that could go wrong as well as everything Kate had hoped to see happen for the past thirteen years.

They came home to an empty loft and went into the bedroom behind two closed doors. Too close to the nightmare being over to risk anything, Castle checked the bedroom and study again before they talked.

"So this is it?" he asked.

"I can't think of another reason to chance a note like that."

"I'll see Paula in the morning and see if she can arrange a couple of book signings or something to get me in DC on Monday with a decent reason behind it. You have Monday off. Is that what I heard?"

"Right."

He paced a few steps back and forth, looking concerned. "I guess someone will let you know how they intend to get you there. I want Ahmed to be with you."

"You don't think the FBI can protect me?"

"Their minds will appropriately be on the suspects. Ahmed's mind will be solely focused on you."

"And you think they'd let him be there if they won't allow you?"

"We'll see. I don't trust anybody we don't know. Gentry has come too close to taking you away from us twice, and I have no doubt he'd try again if he thought he had nothing to lose."

"Castle, I know it worries you, but you're grabbing at straws."

"I know." He stopped moving, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "This whole thing could so easily fall apart and hurt a lot of people."

"It's scary," she agreed and stepped into his arms. "But we've made it this far. We'll just have to have faith that we're meant to live long lives…together."

"I'll feel better when we know more about what's going to happen."

"That won't be tonight. We might as well do something about dinner. Everybody else should be home before long."

When they appeared from the other side of the closed study door, Martha was in the kitchen looking amused. "This early in the evening?" she asked with an eyebrow raised.

"We needed to talk…without anyone else listening," Castle answered pointedly. "Hand me the take-out menus."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

Castle called Paula at home early on Thursday morning. "Hey, Paula. I need to come in and talk to you for a few minutes this morning…maybe meet you for coffee."

"Anything wrong?"

"Just need to talk to you."

"And it has to be this morning?"

"That would be a big help."

"Okay. I have a nine o'clock appointment. If I get out of here in the next twenty minutes, I can meet you for coffee first…the place near the office?"

"I'll meet you there in half an hour. Thanks." Half an hour later Castle was waiting in line at a coffee shop with Paula.

"Just so you know, when you insist on having a woman leave home before her hair and make-up suits her, you are definitely buying the coffee."

"No problem. My treat."

They collected their coffee, and Castle asked her to sit at the sidewalk tables with him. He chose the only one with no one next to it and turned his back to the street so he faced the brick wall of the building. He wanted the city noise around them.

"There's a case we're working on, Paula," he said, leaning forward so he could speak more quietly. You can't mention that to anyone, understand? It's that important. A lot hinges on keeping it quiet. I need an excuse to get to Washington, DC on Monday morning. Can you arrange something that would serve as an excuse? I don't care what you schedule me for between now and then, I just need to be in DC and finished with whatever you can schedule as early as possible on Monday."

"Okay. I can probably do that. After my appointment, I'll make some calls."

"Can you make it sound like I was planning on being out of town anyway and you talked me into it."

"That shouldn't be too hard; I've had to talk you into a lot lately."

"I really appreciate it. Call me as soon as you know something?"

"Sure. You gonna tell me about it one day?"

"After it's over, I hope; but it won't be for the media. Come on. I'll walk you back to the office and get a cab from there."

xxxxx

Kate went in alone that morning, a bundle of nervous energy…and with nobody to bring her coffee.

"Morning," Esposito called as he came in, and Kate looked as if he might have set off firecrackers behind her. "What's the matter, Beckett? You look pretty wired."

"Maybe that's the problem. I guess I need to be. No coffee yet."

"Looks like that should go straight to the top of your to do list."

"I think you're right."

"Where's Coffee Guy this morning?"

"Had a meeting with Paula. He'll be in later," she said as she went to the break room for a much needed caffeine fix.

"You want the witness reports from yesterday?" he asked from the door of the break room.

"Let me get my coffee, and I can tell you what Castle and I got yesterday, too. Hey, Ryan. We're going over witness statements in a minute."

"Be there as soon as I get my coffee."

Beckett sat down at her desk and took out her notes from the day before while Ryan and Esposito picked up theirs. They went over what they had and added it to the board.

"Jackson's statement doesn't make sense when you look at Foster's statement from a couple of days ago," Ryan pointed out. "And we confirmed Foster's story…everything checked out. Looks like Jackson lied to us."

"Check Jackson's whereabouts for that night. Look into any business dealings or associations with the victim or his family."

"You okay, Beckett?" Ryan asked. "You seem a little distracted."

"The caffeine will kick in soon. I'll be fine then. Go on. Get out of here. Leave your notes with me. I'll see if I find anything else. I can show it all to Castle when he gets here." To give herself something to occupy her time, she typed up her witness reports from the day before. Then she typed up Ryan and Esposito's. Anything to occupy her mind and her hands.

Castle waited until he heard from Paula before he headed for the precinct. He was as full of nervous energy as Beckett, but at least he had something planned. He came in with coffee, knowing Beckett would be glad to have it.

"Thank you," she said, almost snatching it out of his hand.

"Rough morning? he teased.

"What did Paula say?"

"Book signings are still on. At least there are only two, and we have Sunday free. One in Baltimore on Saturday, and one in DC on Monday morning. We'll have some time in between to relax…just the two of us. We need that."

"Yeah, we do. I'm looking forward to it. We found something new in the witness statements this morning. The boys are looking into Jackson. Looks like he was lying to us yesterday. I'll catch you up."

"Okay." He listened and asked a few questions and they fell into a discussion of the case. He threw in a couple of wild ideas to make Beckett roll her eyes and relax a little bit before Ryan and Esposito got back with more information. They looked at the new material and added everything pertinent to the board.

The day dragged by slowly, but by the end of the day, they were all convinced Jackson was their best suspect, and they now had better information to work from when they talked to the other witnesses again. By Friday afternoon, things had come together enough that they were confident of an arrest.

Late in the day, they went to the captain's door to let her know they were leaving, still having been told nothing about Monday. They left the itinerary Paula had planned for them, and Captain Gates inconspicuously handed Kate an envelope.

"Enjoy your weekend," the captain said.

xxxxx

"Let's walk," Castle suggested.

"You want to walk all the way to the loft?" Kate asked.

"Not necessarily. But a good walk will do us good…work off some of this tension. I could think of other ways," he said with a flirtatious smile, but not until later. "Mother and Alexis will both be home tonight."

"Then let's walk for a while."

"When we're tired of walking, we'll hail a cab.

"I'm dying to open that envelope," Kate told him.

"Not until we're at home and know we're alone."

She wrapped her arm around his waist and sighed. "I know." Then he put an arm around her shoulders, and they walked several blocks toward the loft.

"You were right. I'm still kind of wired, but I do feel better. Let's get a cab and go home," Kate suggested. "Besides, if we're leaving for a book signing tomorrow, we need to pack…and tell Martha and Alexis."

"I called Ahmed. He's stopping by tonight, too…just to talk."

Kate nodded. She was resigned to Castle's worrying now.

When they reached the loft, the smell of dinner filled the air, and Martha and Alexis were in the kitchen.

"Oh, good. You're home. It's almost done," Martha told them. "Alexis, put the rolls in the oven."

Ten minutes later, they were all at the table chatting over dinner.

"Ahmed is coming over for a little while tonight. He should be here about eight," Castle told his mother and daughter.

"Business, or just a visit?" his mother asked.

"A little of both. Future business, mostly," Castle answered nonchalantly.

"We're going to be out of town until Monday," Kate mentioned. "It's been pretty nerve wracking at work lately. Paula set up a couple of book signings, and I took Monday off to go along. We should be back on Monday night."

"Where are you going?" Alexis asked.

"Baltimore and DC," Castle answered.

"Is that why you two have been arguing lately…work has been rough?"

"We've always annoyed each other and argued about it, Honey….probably always will. It doesn't mean we're falling out of love or that anybody is going anywhere else. Don't worry about that," her father assured her.

"Kate?"

"What he said."

"Okay. Good."

"Kate and I need to talk a few minutes before Ahmed gets here…alone, please. We'll take care of the dishes when we get back. Thanks for dinner…both of you."

He took Kate's hand, she picked up her purse from the sofa, and they closed both doors and ripped into the envelope. The message was that they were to expect an agent Ingalls, whose picture was with the message, to contact Kate sometime on Sunday afternoon under the guise of an old friend. The friend's name would be Susan, and Kate would agree to spend Sunday night with her and meet Castle in DC on Monday afternoon.

"Gates has our itinerary. I guess all we can do now is wait…and respond appropriately when they find us," Kate sighed.

Castle held her close. "It's almost over, Kate. It's almost over."

They stood holding one another for a long moment, then Kate stepped back and said, "You volunteered us for dish duty. It's going to look funny if we don't go back soon. Since we can't do anything about this, we might as well do something helpful around here."

"Might as well."

They went back and bicker/bantered about who would do which job, hip bumped each other out of the way now and then, laughed at each other, and generally made Martha and Alexis feel better about the two of them and the number of private chats they were having recently. Then they went to start packing before Ahmed arrived.

When Ahmed was there, Rick took him into the study with Kate, and explained the weekend. "I don't know what may or may not be allowed, but I need you to be available through Monday, wherever we are. More specifically, where Kate is. We don't know what to expect.

"I understand. I will adjust my schedule. Do you want Joseph here again?"

"I do. I'll talk to Mother and Alexis tonight about staying close to the loft this weekend. They won't be happy about it, but they'll cooperate. Here's where we'll be and when. Here's a phone for you to use for any contact with us. Our numbers are programed in. I can't lose her, but I can't ask her not to do this. She's spent too much of her adult life wishing for it and working for it…and suffering for that."

"I will work with the agents in any way I am allowed. I've been vetted for other jobs that involved government officials who were working with my clients. Perhaps that will fall in your favor."

"If anything goes wrong, this is the contact number for a friend who owns a private jet. I don't expect a problem, but in case I'm wrong, have Joseph arrange to get Mother and Alexis to Mack. I want all bases covered."

"I will speak to Joseph tonight and take care of this…and let you know when I arrive in Baltimore on Saturday."

The study door opened, and two sets of curious eyes followed Rick and Ahmed to the door. "Thanks, Ahmed," was all Rick said.

"Do not worry, my friend," he answered with a friend's touch to Rick's arm. We will see that all your bases are covered."

"What was that about?" Alexis asked after Ahmed closed the door behind him.

"We need to talk about this weekend," Castle told her.

"Does this have something to do with meeting behind closed doors the last couple of days?" Martha asked.

"There's a case… We don't really expect it will affect either of you, but I don't want to take any chances. I want you to stay as close as possible to the apartment until late Monday afternoon. Joseph will be here again. You'll probably know whether it went well or not before we're back at home, but we can't talk about it right now. You'll have to accept that."

"When will Joseph be here?"

"Not until tomorrow night.

"So we have tomorrow open if we want?" Alexis asked.

"I think that's okay."

"I'm most concerned about Sunday and Monday. Things are less predictable then."

"What have you gotten yourself into, Richard?"

"We'll explain when we get back. I'm barely along for the ride. We're just being cautious."

"I guess there's no choice, then," Alexis answered. "At least we like Joseph. He's fun to have around."

xxxxx

Gerald picked Rick and Kate up early on Saturday and dropped them off at the airport. Paula couldn't clear her schedule to go with them on such short notice, but both bookstores were places Rick had been well more than once over the span of his career; so he knew what to expect. The car Paula had arranged for them was waiting at the airport and took them to their hotel, and Ahmed called to let them know he was close by.

Except for the fact that they didn't want to attract any media attention yet, Kate would have actually volunteered to sit with Rick and sign books so she would have something to distract her for a while. Instead, she sat in the coffee shop and read until he was finished. As requested, one of the store employees came to let her know when he was nearly finished so she could go to the car without their being noticed together. This wasn't the weekend to be noticed by the media. After this, they wouldn't care.

At the hotel, they had dinner and spent the evening in their room.

When she opened her suitcase, Castle said, "You brought your badge and cuffs?"

"I didn't mean to bring the cuffs, but I earned the badge because of my mom. I wanted it with me. I know I don't really get to arrest anybody."

"You could always arrest me," Rick answered suggestively. "No tigers in here. We might enjoy being cuffed together this time.

There were no handcuffs involved, but making love was aggressive that night…an exercise in relieving the tension of worrying about how many ways things could go wrong before Gentry was arrested. They slept, but fitfully. They both knew Castle would know nothing until it was over. He would be there to catch Kate when the finality of the whole situation caught up with her and the pieces started to fall.

xxxxx

The following morning, they ordered breakfast in their room, but they decided contact with an old friend might happen more easily if they were in a more public place for short periods of time. Nothing happened at lunch; but at dinner, a woman who looked a lot like the picture that came with Kate's sketchy instructions stopped at their table, saying, "Kate? Susan...from Stanford. Remember me? I'm living in Baltimore now."

Kate stood and gave her a hug as if she were really glad to see her…which wasn't far from the truth. She had been waiting for something to happen all day.

Rick invited her to sit with them, and they talked a few minutes…introductions and general conversation for show.

They had finished their meal, and the dining room was filling; so they took their conversation to the lobby. "Rick, would you let me steal her away from you tonight? We haven't seen each other in so long, and it would be so nice to catch up. I can't keep her too long. I have a flight out late tomorrow afternoon for a business trip."

"What do you want to do, Kate? You can call the car service to take you to DC tomorrow if you'd like."

"I'd really like to go. You don't mind?"

"I'll miss you, but I'll last one night without you," he answered with a smile.

"Let me go back to the room and get what I need."

"I'll go with you," Castle offered.

"Be right back," Kate told 'her friend,' and Susan sat down in the lobby to wait for her.

In the hotel room, Kate and Castle hugged one another close. "It's starting. It's really going to happen," she whispered.

"Mention Ahmed. Maybe…"

"For you, I'll mention it; but don't get your hopes up."

"They aren't likely to let you go in armed, and I want you safe."

"I do, too."

"I'll worry until I hear from you. I won't walk back with you 'cause I'd just want to kiss you in the lobby before you left, and now isn't the best time for PDA's."

"Then kiss me now," she said. "And make it a good one. It has to hold us until tomorrow afternoon."

He willingly conceded, and she went and met Susan in the lobby. They left in her car and went to a small, waiting plane. From there, Kate was taken to an apartment in Arlington, where several other agents, two men and another woman, were waiting for her.

One of the men, an Agent Garrison, seemed to be in charge. He stood and took care of introductions, then got straight to business. "We know you're aware of what's happening, but we need to brief you on what to expect. Gentry sees to it that at least one man on his payroll is with him at all times, but the head of the Secret Service has assured us that none of those people will be on duty in front tomorrow to warn him. Any of them who are in the building will be removed beforehand. He's going to meet us at the security checkpoint and escort us to Gentry's office.

Everything will happen simultaneously. The task force in New York could use you tomorrow. It's huge. Captain Gates has done a phenomenal job of planning with us. We've issued orders to individuals who will run their own operations in places all over the country.

"What about your informant? Will he be safe? I've already seen too many deaths over this…came close to it being mine twice."

"I hope you won't feel that we're using you," the other man answered. "Gentry has presented a good face to the public, and there will be people who won't want to believe our charges are factual. You've done good work on the early cases, your family was what made the informant's decision for him. You're the face of the victims…your mother, your father, yourself…tragedies repeated over and over in other families for nearly two decades…increasing with each year his power grew. We can't approve a firearm for you, but you'll have the honor of cuffing him if you want it."

"Oh, I want it."

"As for the informant, he's going to be arrested along with everybody else. They'll be held separate from one another and each one brought in for questioning. When we take him for questioning, he'll be removed and kept in protective custody until time for the trial. Thanks to him, we have Gentry's account numbers and lists of his assets, all of which will be frozen by tomorrow afternoon. The CIA has been working on the off shore accounts and assets and will be making several arrests in other countries. Hiring hit men will be more difficult after today."

Kate brought up Castle's concern about her safety, and his request that Ahmed be with her. "I know it's not likely, but I promised him I'd voice his concerns.

"He's right to be concerned," the female agent said. "From what we can tell, you came close enough to the truth to make Gentry nervous. He's arrogant enough that doesn't happen often, and he doesn't respond well to such things. We all need to keep our eyes open."

"Ahmed Osei?" the first agent asked.

"Yes."

"I know that name. Seems to me he was cleared a few months ago for security for a meeting one of his clients had with an ambassador and a senator. Let me check into it. I know Mr. Castle has been involved in a lot of the work you've done, and we dealt with one of the CIA agents who spoke highly of both of you. If we can't include him, maybe we can at least accede to his wishes."

The female agent spoke to her again. "I know there's a lot more you'd like to know, Detective Beckett, but basically you'll be accompanying us as we go in to do our jobs."

"What time will it happen?"

"We set everything into motion at fourteen hundred hours Eastern Daylight Time," Garrison answered. "We'll leave you with Agent Ingalls now. We still have work to do."

"Goodnight. Thanks," Kate said as they left.

"That was some good acting at the hotel. Mr. Castle's mother would have been proud of both of you. My name is Shawna, by the way."

"Kate. And thank you. Martha might actually have been impressed." She smiled at the thought.

"I know the two of you work together, and live together. It must be difficult to do this without him," Shawna said as she checked all the locks and the alarm.

"It is. I catch myself worrying about him worrying."

"The CIA agents won't be part of the arrest. We've arranged for one of them to pick him up and bring him to meet you here when it's over. Looks like all of us will be busy."

"Thank you."

"You can have the bedroom. I'll be out here. Try to get some rest."

"Not much chance of that, but I'll lie down."

"Better than nothing," Shawna answered, seeming to understand.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Kate finally got to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, and Agent Ingalls let her sleep, knowing that when she woke up, she would only worry. She woke about nine-thirty, feeling disoriented. It took a moment to realize where she was.

"'Morning," she said, peeking into the front of the apartment and finding Shawna in the kitchen making coffee. "I'm gonna take a shower," she told her.

"Take your time," Shawna answered. "You won't be going anywhere for a while yet. There should be coffee by the time you're out."

"Good. Thanks."

She took a long, warm shower, wishing Rick were there, then got dressed and went back to find coffee. Shawna was on her second cup by then.

"Another coffee lover," Kate observed, noticing how much coffee was already gone.

"Are you addicted, too?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I think I should just set up an IV next to my desk."

"Some days I don't know what I'd do without this stuff."

Kate poured herself a cup, stirred in what she wanted, and took a sip. It wasn't what Castle brought her, but it was way better than standard precinct coffee.

She and Shawna talked for a while then had cereal for breakfast and shared the newspaper.

The rest of the morning dragged by, and finally, Agents Ross and Foley from the night before came to pick Kate up. "Garrison and your bodyguard are in the van."

"Ahmed is here?"

"Yes."

"I wish I could tell Castle."

"We're too close to take that chance, Detective."

"I know. Just thinking out loud. It wasn't a request. I appreciate that you're allowing me to be here at all."

"Ready?"

"Almost." She went back to the bedroom and returned, clipping on her badge. "For my mom," she explained as she tucked her cuffs behind her under her suit jacket. No one voiced an objection.

"Then let's go," Ingalls said.

Kate and Ahmed were given ID badges and waited in the vehicle until two of the six agents with them went in and secured the two guards who were linked to Gentry. They then walked to the security checkpoint in the West Wing, flanked by four agents; and as promised, the Secret Service Director met them at the checkpoint and escorted the group in. "Keep your guard up." He told them. "The only man we didn't pick up this morning is in Gentry's area." Before they reached the man they needed to remove, he ducked into Gentry's office to let him know something was happening.

As it became obvious that they were headed for his door, Gentry faced them with a calm exterior and asked, "How can I help you, Director?"

"You can allow these people to do their jobs with as little distraction as possible."

When the director stepped aside and Gentry could see the entire group, he knew why they were there. "You," he said with a venomous sound, staring at Beckett.

Two agents took his arms, told him he was under arrest for murder, extortion, bribery, and a list of other charges, the numerous details of which they said would be provided to him and to his attorney. Then Garrison said, "Detective Beckett, please do the honors…and read him his rights while you're at it."

Beckett pulled out her cuffs, and put the restraints on Gentry…a feeling of triumph soaring through her.

When hearing the charges, Gentry's face reflected defeat. He had been involved in law and politics long enough to know they wouldn't be arresting him if they didn't have something substantial to back it up, and they were also arresting his staff. As Beckett was stating his rights, Gentry looked to his guard and shouted, "Why are you just standing there?! She's taking _us_ down. For God's sake, take her down with us!"

The guard moved his hand toward his weapon as if he might follow Gentry's order, the Palace Guard in Ahmed immediately rose to the surface, and the guard was on the floor, completely in Ahmed's control almost before anyone realized what happened. One of the agents cuffed the guard, looked at Ahmed, and said, "Impressive."

Since Gentry had interrupted Beckett the first time, and the FBI wanted to leave no room for leeway later on, Garrison read Gentry's rights again; and Gentry was escorted out of his office, glaring at Beckett, who somehow managed to stare back at him calmly, with a satisfied smile she knew would infuriate him.

"We'll want you to stand with us when we give a statement to the press," Garrison told her as he took Gentry's other arm before they left the area. You can make a brief statement of your own if you'd like."

Beckett's façade was calm as she walked with the agents, her Detective Beckett persona firmly in place; but it suddenly hit her that all this was real. The moment she had spent her entire adult life hoping to see was actually happening. Her mind was reeling, and Kate needed Castle.

Agent Ingalls walked with Beckett, Ahmed behind them, and two other agents at the rear as they exited past the shocked faces in the surrounding offices. Agent Ingalls asked, "Are you okay?"

"I think so," she answered still looking ahead. "Is he here?"

"Mister Castle?" Ingalls asked with a smile.

"Yeah."

"He's here."

"Will I have time to see him before the press statement?"

"He's in a room near where they're setting up for the statement. You can wait there with him while we take care of transport."

"Thanks. How long before you know how the other operations went?"

"We'll probably have a reasonably good assessment by end of the day."

Ingalls took Kate to a room where the door was open, and they could see Castle pacing. "I think we can safely leave you here with Mr. Osei. He seems to be good at his job," she said with a smile.

Hearing Ahmed's name, Castle looked up and had Kate in his arms almost as fast as Ahmed had the guard on the floor.

"Kate. Are you all right?" he asked, obviously relieved to see her.

"Agent Franklin, I believe we can safely leave Mr. Castle and Detective Beckett with their own security. We've seen him in action."

"It's been a pleasure, Mr. Castle."

Castle moved Kate to his left, never removing his left arm from her waist, and shook the CIA agent's hand. "Thank you, Agent Franklin. I appreciate your help." As the agent left the room, Castle asked, "They let Ahmed be with you, and you needed him?"

"We hardly had time to know we needed him." Kate answered. "I think Ahmed is a force of nature. There was a bad moment, and he moved so fast to take the man down, he was barely more than a blur."

"Thank you…more than I can say," Castle responded, looking over toward Ahmed.

"Doing my job, my friend," was Ahmed's answer.

"Is it done?" Castle asked Kate, both arms back around her waist.

"It's done," she assured him, her arms around his neck. "I think it's finally over." She leaned back to look at him and smiled. "He's wearing my cuffs. Every time they pull at him, he'll remember where they came from."

"Yeah?" Castle grinned at her enthusiasm.

"Yeah." She grinned back.

They had one of those eye moments before Castle pulled her back to him and whispered, "I love you," against her hair.

Just outside the door, Ingalls said softly to Ahmed, "They have something special, don't they?"

"They do," he agreed.

"I need to get back. I'll return for Detective Beckett when we're ready for the statement. I'll leave them in your capable hands."

When the public statement to the press was made, Beckett's presence and the two hits ordered against the women in her family was explained as an example of the depth of Gentry's alleged guilt, mentioning the time span between the two ordered murders as an indication that the problem was not a new one. When offered the opportunity, Kate chose to state briefly that she hoped justice would follow, not just for her family, but for everyone who had been hurt.

She thanked the agents again for allowing her to be present; then she returned to Castle. Agent Ingalls had Kate's luggage in her van, and they, along with Ahmed, were taken back to their hotel. Once there, they called Alexis, and Castle put the call on speaker.

The line opened, and rather than a greeting, they heard, "Grams! It's them! Kate, we saw you on the news. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. They let me cuff him and read him his rights. They took him away in _my_ cuffs. It felt good."

"I'm sure it did, Darling," Martha's voice answered. There was a big sweep here in New York, too…everything from judges to uniformed police officers. Somebody has already pointed out the number of those people who were actively condemning the mayor in the murder case last year. Bob came out of this smelling like a rose."

"Dad, Captain Gates had to arrest the Chief of Police and one of the Deputy Commissioners. When will you be home?"

"Late tonight. We still have to be at work tomorrow."

"Will you tell us about it when you get back?" Alexis asked excitedly.

"I don't have a lot to tell, but I'm sure Kate will be glad to. Gotta go. We're running late. Our flight leaves in a couple of hours."

Their car picked them up at the hotel and delivered them to the airport with little time to spare. They got through security and made it to the gate about five minutes before boarding time.

"Quite a day," Castle said as they settled in their seats. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," she answered, "I missed you." And she kissed him firmly on the lips, breaking her own 'not in public' rule.

"I can't wait to get home," he said, smiling.

When they got home, their anxious audience was waiting for them, and they got the full story from Kate.

When they went to bed, it all finally caught up with Kate…the years of hurt and determination, the clandestine meetings, the tension of waiting and being able to contribute nothing more than she already had, the sight of the man who had ordered her mother's death and her own shooting being led away after she put cuffs on him…and Castle held her as she cried it out before she could sleep.

xxxxx

The next morning, when they arrived at work, the entire bullpen went up in cheers and applause in support of Beckett, and people wandered by her desk off and on all day to say how happy they were for her.

The captain motioned Castle and Beckett into her office and asked, "Have you seen this morning's newspaper?"

"Not yet."

Gates held up the front page, which read, "Gentry leaves a trail of destruction in his wake."

"Very fitting," Castle answered.

"Mr. Castle, would you like to do the honors?" She put the paper on the desk and lifted the lamp with the listening device so he could remove it. She and Beckett watched as he then went to the other locations where they had determined there were bugs, and gathered all of them, returned with a large mug of hot coffee and dropped them all in it."

"Coffee is always helpful," he said with a smile.

"Agent Garrison praised the planning you did for the task force, Captain," Beckett told her.

"I'm still not sure whether to thank you for all the extra work or not, but my resume certainly hasn't suffered for it," Gates answered. "We'll probably be dealing with the fallout for a while yet."

"How many did we lose from our precinct?"

"Five…two of them detectives…Lee and Isaacs, one from Robbery, and two from Narcotics."

"Ryan and Esposito made the arrests. When they pointed out to them that they were working for the organization that put a hit out on one of our own detectives, nobody lifted a finger to slow them down."

"Because of the circumstances, I've put in the paperwork to expunge the suspensions; but don't expect it to ever happen again."

"I guarantee you there won't be another such incident. I know who to trust now," Kate assured her.

In a move that was completely out of character, Gates reached out and took Kate's hand briefly. "I'm happy you were able to be part of bringing your mother's case to rest, Kate. And I'm happy I could help." Then she returned to her normal self, but with the hint of a twinkle in her eyes. "Now get back to work, both of you."

Back at Beckett's desk, Castle pointed out, "There isn't a case at the moment, so I don't know what we're supposed to be working on. Should we go look for a cold case to keep us busy?"

Just then Beckett's phone rang. "Beckett," she answered, listened for a few seconds, and jotted down an address. "Won't be necessary," she answered. "Welcome back. Let's go."

They gathered all the available information they could at the crime scene, came back and set up a murder board, and managed to leave a little early, with Gates blessing.

xxxxx

Kate and Rick were in the living room indulging in a glass of wine, pulling themselves together after all the excitement of the arrests when they heard a knock on the door.

Castle answered the door and was surprised at who his visitor was. "Smith?"

"May I come in for a minute or two?"

"Of course. Please." He motioned the man in.

"Detective Beckett," Smith said, shaking her hand. "It's good to meet you. Roy didn't overstate your abilities. You had us worried a couple of times."

"Thank you for your efforts to keep me alive, Mr. Smith…in spite of myself."

"Mr. Castle, I'm Agent Caylin…CIA. I wanted to meet you face to face and thank you for your cooperation. The two of you would have made good agents."

"We had an encounter with the CIA last year, and I think we're both happy where we are," Kate told him.

"I'm aware of that. You found answers in spite of Sophia's manipulations, and nearly died for your trouble. Agent Danberg spoke highly of you."

"Sophia is a sore subject here, for a variety of reasons," Castle stated, hoping to change the subject.

"Understood. She's a sore subject at the Agency, too."

"Then let's not mention her again," Castle answered. "Would you like to join us?" he asked, motioning toward Kate, who held her glass up in explanation.

"I won't intrude. I'm sure the last couple of days have been an emotional roller coaster for both of you, especially for Detective Beckett."

At that point, the front door opened and Martha made her entrance. "Hello, darlings," she said as she breezed in. "Oh I didn't know you had…" Her face lost all color when Agent Caylin turned toward her.

"Martha?"

"You know my mother?" Castle asked in surprise.

"I did a long time ago."

"Mother, are you all right," Castle asked.

"What are you doing here?" Martha asked Caylin when she regained her voice.

"Agent Caylin is Mr. Smith…the one who was keeping them away from Kate."

"_Agent_ Caylin?"

"CIA, Martha. Retired CIA by the end of the week."

"Why are you here?"

Kate brought Martha a glass of wine, but she waved it away, surprising them completely. "Richard, did you have anything to do with this visit?

"Planning it, no. Working on a case he was involved in, yes."

"I'll take that wine now, Kate. Thank you, Darling," she said as she reached for the glass. She drained about half the glass and left the rest on a table next to the sofa, waving Kate and Castle away.

"Is it true, Martha?" Caylin asked very quietly, moving closer to her and making their conversation more personal.

Rick and Kate understood that the other two needed a moment to themselves, and they stood in the kitchen, looking at each other in confusion as Martha and Caylin spoke to one another.

"What have you said to him?" Martha hissed quietly. You have no right to come here with no warning and…"

"I haven't said anything. I wouldn't do that without speaking to you first, and I didn't expect to see you. I checked the schedule at your school to be sure. I only wanted to meet him, even if it was only job related. From what I know of him, he's an impressive man. You did a good job with him. I know it couldn't have been easy for you."

"No, it wasn't."

"Is he mine?"

"He's mine. I was the one who was there."

"Martha. Is…he…mine?" he asked more insistently.

"Yes," Martha answered, tears finally escaping, and she turned away, pressing her hand to her mouth trying to regain control.

That was all it took. Castle at full height and determination and Kate in Detective Beckett mode descended on Caylin in the foyer. Castle went to his mother and took her in his arms protectively, glaring at Caylin over Martha's shoulder, and Kate demanded to know how he knew Martha and why speaking to her brought her to tears.

"I didn't come here expecting to see her. It took us both by surprise. I'm glad to see that she has such a loving family around her."

"That doesn't answer the question, does it?" Castle answered, not nearly as friendly as before.

"Richard, stop," his mother insisted, obviously distressed. "He doesn't mean me any harm. It's just… I… I don't know how to do this."

"Just tell me. I'm a writer. It couldn't be any worse than a couple of possibilities that have already gone through my mind."

"When you were born, I named you for my father. I had hoped he'd want to meet his grandchild, that maybe… But it didn't happen. I named you for my father…Richard…and your father…Alex…Alexander…Caylin."

"Where were you all those years she struggled to take care of me?" Castle shot at him, his arm still around his mother's shoulders. "What was so bad that she would rather tell me she didn't know who my father was than to tell me about you?"

"I was completely unaware of you until you were in your late teens. Even then, I didn't realize. Then couple of years ago, I saw an article that gave your age and birthday, and I finally put two and two together. It was a little late then to do either of you any good. I met your mother before I left for boot camp. We had about a month together, and I did love her…intended to come back; but when I did, she had moved. I didn't know where to find her…didn't have the resources to do that then. I didn't know.

"It can't be undone now." Martha put her hand to her forehead and sighed. "Alex and I need to talk. Could you…"

"Kate and I will be in the study. Take your time. We're here if you need us."

Castle took Kate's hand, walked to the study, and closed the door behind them. He dropped her hand and paced a few steps away and back, then looked at her as if he had no idea what to say. "My father is in the other room. What do I do with that? I have no idea how to react," he said.

"It was admirable that you took care of your mother first. Now come here, and let me take care of you," Kate answered and held him, pulling his head to her shoulder, rubbing his back with one hand while running her fingers through his hair to massage the back of his head with the other. Under her hand, she could feel the ragged breathing that accompanies tears, and she placed little kisses wherever she could reach on his face and neck. "Let it go, Rick. It's me. It's okay. Just let it out."

He clung to Kate and fought it briefly but finally gave in to quiet tears and heaving breaths. It didn't last long, and he seemed embarrassed that he had allowed her to see him cry. "I'm sorry," he said, turning away and wiping his eyes.

"Don't, Rick. You don't let me hide from you. I'm not going to let you off that easy, either. We're in this together, and I don't want you to feel like you can't depend on me when you need to." She reached to take his hand and turned him around, then she led him to the sofa and sat in his lap, putting his head on her shoulder again and stroking his arms and shoulders as his breathing calmed.

"What do I do with this, Kate? What do I say to that man? I don't feel any connection to him at all except gratitude that he could keep you from being killed."

"I don't know. It didn't sound like he would have ignored you if he had known. But you only know him as a voice on the phone and a shadowy figure in a parking garage. It isn't every day that a life-long absent father appears in your living room unannounced. It's going to take some thought…but it doesn't have to be thought out tonight."

"Tonight, I think I need to take care of my mother. This was just as much of a shock to her."

"Just don't forget you need somebody, too. And I'm here." He laid his head back on her shoulder and they sat that way for a while…just holding on.

Eventually there was a soft knock on the door of the study, and Martha opened the door to find Kate holding her son. "Alex is leaving, but he wanted to see you before he left. Are you okay with that?"

"He kept Kate alive. I'll be there in a minute."

"Get through tonight, Rick. Take time to decide what you want to do. Tonight just try to be civil, for your mother's sake. Then we'll talk to her if she's ready. Want me to go with you?"

"Yeah. Hold my hand or something?" He gave her a little smile.

"I can do that. Come on, Partner" she said, getting up and holding out her hand.

"Do you mind if I call you Richard instead of Mr. Castle?" Caylin asked, walking to meet them halfway between the front door and the study door.

"I suppose that's reasonable," Rick answered cooly.

"I need to apologize. My intention was to be here tonight at a time when Martha would usually be teaching a class. I had meant to see her alone before… Regardless…I had no intention of disrupting your home this way. Talk to her, and decide what you want to do." He seemed resigned to the idea that nothing positive would happen that night, but he still held his hand out hopefully.

When Castle didn't respond right away, Kate squeezed his hand to encourage him. He shook the other man's hand, and Martha looked relieved. She came to Caylin's side and walked him to the front door.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he said quietly and kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight, Alex." She looked down and closed the door behind him.

"Mother? Are you going to start seeing him again?" Castle asked incredulously.

"Richard, sit down somewhere. We need to talk about this."

"I'll be in the study," Kate said, ready to leave the two of them alone.

"Nonsense, Kate. You're family. It affects all of us, and you might as well hear it firsthand."

"What I need to know, Mother, is why you would rather have me think you didn't know. What was so awful that you couldn't tell me the truth?"

"It wasn't so awful, Darling. It was so good. I was young and didn't think about how it would affect the future when you started asking. I loved Alex the way you love Kate. I didn't know how to find him, and I didn't want him to feel trapped if I did. When I found out about you, I went to my parents, but they were very straight laced and proper. They said I was out of high school, they had taught me better, and I was on my own. I was nineteen. I found a home that provided for young, pregnant women with no one else to depend on and signed myself in. After you were born, I went back to odd jobs and auditions. Alex said he came back to find me, but nobody knew where I had gone. We just lost each other. As long as I knew that, I could enjoy the time we spent together exactly the way it had been. If I told anybody about it, they'd turn it into something harsh and ugly. I thought I'd never see him again, so I just kept him for myself…in my mind. For a long time, it was the place I could go when things were bad. As you got older, I realized I should tell you, but I had already established the lie. I'm sorry. It was wrong."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that alone…for me."

"You were part of us. I couldn't give you up. I loved you before I ever saw you. He isn't a bad man, Richard. At least think about giving him a chance."

"I'll think about it, but right now is a little early to welcome him with open arms."

"I understand." Martha stood and said, "Well, I think all of us are a little shell-shocked at the moment; and I don't know about the two of you, but I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed."

She turned toward the stairs, but Castle stood and caught her shoulder. He turned her into his arms and said, "Thank you for loving me that much. I love you, too."

She hugged him and stroked a hand over his cheek, but seemed to be out of words. After a kiss to his cheek, she went upstairs.

"I don't know what to say," Castle said softly, looking back at Kate.

"I think you said exactly what she needed to hear. Come on. A relaxing shower and sleep."


	34. Chapter 34

**Epilogue**

During the rest of the week, Rick knew his mother was seeing Caylin, but he only picked her up at the loft once. It bothered him that she seemed to feel she had to hide it from him; that wasn't how things usually worked in his family. But, at the same time, he was relieved that he didn't have to see it. The one time Caylin had picked his mother up at the loft, he said he hoped he and Rick could get to know each other, even if he couldn't think of him as a father; but Rick was still having trouble with the whole situation. Kate had done a lot of taking care of him that week, once pointing out that, in his favor, his father_ was actually _CIA.

On Friday morning, Castle had stayed home to do some writing and was just leaving for the precinct when Martha met him in the kitchen as they put their coffee cups in the dishwasher.

Martha said tentatively, "Alex invited me to dinner…to celebrate his retirement. He said to bring you and Kate if you want to come."

"I don't know, Mother. I don't think I'm ready for family moments." The last couple of words came out a little derisively.

"Try to keep your mind open, Darling. You don't have to call him 'Dad' or hug him every time you see him, but he's a good man. At least consider trying to get to know him well enough to recognize that much. He did put his life on the line to work with saving Kate from Gentry. He was pretty certain of who you were then. Can you imagine how hard it was for him when he so badly wanted to know?"

"I can try, but I'm leery of all this…the whole picture. Are you falling back in love with him?"

"Richard, I never fell out of love with him. Maybe that's why none of my other relationships worked. I don't want to make things hard on you, but I can't help how I feel."

"Then, for you, I'll try to pry my mind open at least a little crack; but I can't say it doesn't worry me or that I'm ready for a family dinner."

"Fair enough. When do you plan to tell Alexis? You didn't want me to, and it isn't fair to spring it on her the way it was sprung on you."

"You're right. I just…"

"Don't know how? Join the club."

"I'll talk to her this weekend," he sighed. "Right now, Kate is expecting me at the precinct."

xxxxx

Kate caught Castle up on the case when he arrived. The boys had come back with witness statements, and they had received lab reports just before Castle got there, so there was plenty to consider, one detail a little bizarre, but Castle took it in stride and just worked with the facts. After about half an hour of looking at evidence, and discussing possibilities, Castle asked Beckett, "Want some coffee? I need some."

"Yeah. Thanks," she said distractedly.

Esposito watched his friend go into the break room and asked Beckett, "What's up with Castle? No wild theories or anything lately, and this one should have brought out a few."

"His father turned up this week, but don't mention it. He's having a hard time with it. He'll tell you when he's ready."

"Oh, man," Ryan sympathized. "That's a big one. Who is he?"

"Smith…from the Gentry case."

"Coffee's on the way," Esposito warned.

"Did I miss anything?" Castle asked as he handed Kate her coffee.

"Nope," Esposito answered.

"Looks like we're about done until something else comes in," Ryan added.

xxxxx

"I need to talk to Alexis tonight," Castle told Kate as they came into the loft after work. "I have to tell her about Caylin."

"It's time you did that," she agreed. "Why don't I see if Lanie has plans? We haven't had a girl's night in a while."

"You don't have to leave. It won't take that long to say what I need to say."

"Some things are dad/daughter things. You always know when to leave my dad and me to sort something out…like you did right after Gentry. I need to know how to bow out now and then, too." Kate went in the study and called Lanie, talked a few minutes and came back to report that she would be going to Lanie's place later.

Martha said Alex would be picking her up after her last class that afternoon and she would be home late, so Castle knew he and Alexis had the evening to themselves. When she got home, he suggested dinner…just the two of them. They went to a little restaurant down the street from the loft…a place they had frequented since Alexis was a little girl, then went back home.

"You've been distracted lately, Dad…not quite your usual self. What's going on?" Alexis asked as she dropped her purse in a chair.

"Sit down, Honey. I need to talk to you about something."

"Please don't tell me you and Kate are breaking up."

"No. Don't worry about that. Farthest thing from my mind," he assured her.

"Then what? It sounds serious."

"It is to me. I met someone this week, someone I never expected to meet. It turns out that Smith, the one who was dealing with Gentry to keep Kate safe, knew your grandmother a long time ago. He left for boot camp, and they lost track of each other…apparently neither of them intended for that to happen, but it did. His name is Alexander Caylin, and it turns out, he's my father."

"Dad that's great. Why don't you seem excited?"

"I don't know. It was sprung on me unexpectedly…came right out of the blue, and I guess I'm having a hard time with it. She's seeing him again, and I worry about that for her."

"Do you remember how angry I was about Kate for a while? She hurt you…put you through a lot of pain; and I loved her, but I hated her at the same time. She was making it hard for my dad. But if you'd tried to go with my worries, look what you'd be missing now. Grams had a rough time when you were little, and you're bound to resent that; but give them time to see if there's still something between them. She's a grown-up. You have to let her make her own mistakes…or not. Have you spent any time with him yet? And why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew?"

"No. And the answer to why, either way, is that haven't been ready to do that yet. Mother is encouraging me to get to know him. And I should have told you."

"When do I get to meet him?"

"Talk to Mother. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to work that out.

xxxxx

The week passed, another case came in and was moving well, but the first one still wasn't showing much progress. The following week, one of the last two cases was concluded, and the team was leaving a new crime scene in an alley. As they walked down the block to where their cars were parked, Ryan pointed across the street to where a couple was leaving a restaurant.

"Hey, isn't that your mom, Castle?"

He looked up to see Martha and Caylin walking away from the restaurant smiling at one another. She took his arm, and he put his hand over hers. They both looked happy. They walked past the windows of a department store, and his mother pointed at a dress that looked like something she might wear. They exchanged a few words; then Caylin pointed out something else, obviously intended for someone no older than fifteen, and they both broke down in laughter, Martha bumping her shoulder into him.

"They look like you and Beckett," Esposito said with a grin.

"How long has this been going on?" Ryan asked.

"About forty-three years, I think…with a really long break in the middle," Castle answered vaguely.

Beckett watched Castle, seeing something dawning on him, and took his arm, just being Kate and breaking one of their work rules. He needed her right then. His hand immediately went over hers.

"They do look like us, don't they?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I guess they do," he admitted. When they were in the car, he looked down and said to Kate, "She looks happy." And, as if it were a huge revelation, he added, "And he looks happy to be with her."

"You had questioned his intentions?"

"Maybe," he muttered.

"You want her to be happy, right?"

"Of course I do."

"Would it be so terrible if she were happy with your father?"

"I'm being an idiot; is that what you're saying?"

"Remember what Alexis told you? She's a grown-up. You have to let her make her own choices, even if they don't work for her the way you want them to. She still loves him, Rick. Let her enjoy it as long as it's here. The way they looked just now, that may be a long time."

"Yeah," he sighed, leaning his head back against the headrest. "I'm being an idiot."

"It happens from time to time, but we all still love you anyway." She gave him one of her signature smirks, and he finally smiled.

xxxxx

Castle was in the kitchen with Kate when Alexis got home.

"Did you enjoy last night?" he asked his daughter.

Alexis had been out with Martha and Alex the night before and had a much more open attitude about him than Castle did. Caylin had suggested that she call him Alex, at least until the family was more familiar with him. "Yep. I did. Dad, he didn't sound like he's going to disappear any time soon, and he and Grams seem so at ease with each other. Now and then I could see a little of your sense of humor in him. It was funny to see it coming from somebody else. I liked him. You really ought to give him a chance."

"Yeah. Kate and I established this afternoon that I've been being an idiot."

"Yeah, well it happens sometimes, but we…"

"Love me anyway? Seriously, Pumpkin, have you been colluding with Kate?"

She and Kate both laughed.

"So you're going to make at least a little effort?" Kate asked.

"I guess so."

"Good. Sounds like Grams is home. Go talk about it. It's going to make her happy." Alexis insisted.

"I agree," Kate chimed in, giving him an encouraging kiss on the cheek.

When his mother came in, he met her at the door. "Are you planning to be out with Alex tonight?"

"Yes, why?" she asked warily.

"He's mentioned… I…"

"Spit it out, Richard. What are you trying to say?"

"I guess I'm ready to get to know him a little bit," he sort of huffed out.

Martha flung her arms around his neck and said, "I'm so glad." Then she excitedly told him, "He's supposed to pick me up here in an hour. Why don't I call him and tell him he's picking you up instead? Before you have time to change your mind."

"Okay. I'll take him to The Old Haunt."

"He'll like that."

Martha took out her phone and enthusiastically went upstairs to call Alex, while Castle looked up to see Kate and Alexis smiling and mischievously applauding him from the kitchen.

xxxxx

Castle and Caylin were both subdued as they left, each a little wary of the other's reactions. They went to the bar, sat down in Castle's booth, and ordered.

"This is quite a place. A lot of history here, I understand," Caylin said, looking around. "I read about the case you worked on here, and I noticed your picture over there. You wrote here?"

"You don't miss much, do you?"

"It's the job," he whispered conspiratorially across the table.

Castle couldn't help but smile at the playful reference. That wasn't a side of Smith/Caylin that he had met before. "What job? Somebody told us you retired," Castle answered.

"Old habits," Caylin responded. "They may never die. Can you pass a crime scene now and not want to be checking it out?"

"Touché."

"Your first concern is whether I'll hurt your mother again, isn't it?"

"She's pretty important to me."

"And she knows that. I'm glad she has you in her corner. You're a good man to have on your side. You need to know that I have no intention of hurting your mother. I still love her, and I think she still loves me. The fact that I didn't know about you doesn't mean that I wouldn't have wanted to or that I'm not sorry that I wasn't there when you both needed me. Try to believe that."

"This isn't easy."

"I know."

They sat in uncomfortable silence, using their drinks to fill the time until Caylin asked about the case that made Castle want to buy the bar. He seemed to know a lot of the details already. Then he mentioned a couple of other cases Castle had been involved in.

"How do you know so much about these cases?"

"Knowing you were Martha's son caught my interest, but suspecting you were mine, too…I have my ways…or had, as you pointed out earlier. Roy knew I had been in love with Martha. I think he may have put two and two together before I did." Gesturing between Castle and himself, he speculated, "As well as protecting Kate, he probably hoped necessity would bring the two of us together sooner or later. In spite of his youthful sins, he was a good man caught in a bad place. It hurt to lose him."

"Yeah, It did."

From there, conversation wandered from subject to subject, and they discovered they did have some things in common…one thing being the sense of humor Alexis had noted. There was still tension at the end of the evening, but it was better.

Alex asked if Rick would mind if he went home with him long enough to see Martha for a few minutes. When they got there, Alexis had already gone to bed, and Rick and Kate went in the study to give Alex and Castle's mother some privacy.

They were talking about the case that wasn't yet coming together. It had been almost three weeks, and it was close to being closed for lack of evidence. Martha and Alex had been talking near the front door, so they hadn't closed the study door, just removed themselves from the room; and when he came to say goodnight, Alex caught wind of a case. Being so shortly removed from such things, he asked about the details; and being desperate to solve it, Kate and Rick explained. When the bizarre twist came up, Alex made a wildly inappropriate comment, and Kate's laughter exploded into the room.

"Now that's what the team was expecting from you, Castle. We were a little disappointed when it didn't happen."

"Hey, the CIA can have a little fun sometimes, too," Caylin said, and then he mentioned a point they might want to check on.

"Glad to hear it. We hadn't met that part of the CIA before," Kate answered. Then the look on her face changed. "What Alex just said…could the brother…"

"How could we have missed that?" Castle responded, understanding exactly what she meant. They theorized in their normal accelerating fashion while Martha and Alex watched, fascinated, as they seemed to have solved the case.

"Thanks, Caylin," Castle said, shaking his hand. "This one's been driving us crazy."

Alex laughed. "No problem. Glad I could help. That's quite a technique the two of you have going there."

"Well, personally, I feel like I've been run over by a bus. Do the two of you work like that all the time?" Martha asked.

"Only when inspiration strikes," Kate answered.

"Well, it looks like my work here is done," Alex said good-humoredly. "I'll be going now."

They all walked him to the door, and he leaned to kiss Martha on the cheek before he left. "Lunch tomorrow at twelve-thirty?"

"I'll be ready," she answered.

"Okay, he's not so bad," Rick admitted after the door closed.

"That's a good start," Martha said, patting him on the chest, then she went up to bed.

xxxxx

Alex had charmed all the women in the family and made definite progress with Castle over the next few weeks. He and Castle had reached a point where Castle would sometimes teasingly call him Smith. It wasn't Dad, but it felt like it belonged to the two of them. One evening as he and Martha were leaving and Kate was in the shower, Martha turned to ask her son, "Do you need me to do anything for tomorrow, Darling?"

"Check on the flowers? Catering will be here to set everything up about half an hour before we serve dinner. The ring is locked in my desk drawer."

"Special occasion tomorrow?" Alex asked.

"We're surprising Kate. It's taken us years for the two of us to get to where we are, and I want everything that goes with it. We've had a flock of problems to solve lately, and things are finally settling down, so home family and work family will be here. I have something to ask her…that's the surprise…and if she says yes…"

"When she says yes," Martha interjected. "You know there's no doubt now."

"When she says yes," he conceded with a big smile, "I want witnesses…so I know I didn't dream it.

"Can't say that I blame you," Alex answered.

Kate came into the kitchen at that point and got an unexpected, enthusiastic kiss from Castle.

"Can't blame you for what?" she asked.

"Just talking," he said. "Family dinner tomorrow…all of us here, Lanie, the boys…your dad," he answered, both of them standing contentedly with their arms around each other.

As the door opened before the older couple left, Castle called, "Hey, Smith?"

"Yeah?"

"You want to join us?"

Martha and Alex both smiled delightedly, and Kate squeezed Castle tight and planted a kiss on his chest.

And Alex answered, "Thanks, kid. I'd love to."


	35. Chapter 35

**AN: **This chapter isn't supposed to be a song fic, but there's an old song mentioned that seemed Casketty to me. (A _really_ old song. I'm aging a lot faster than I'd like, and it was one my parents enjoyed.) – "Always" by Irving Berlin. As I understand it, this was written as a twenty-fifth anniversary gift to his wife.

Ella Fitzgerald's gorgeous voice was singing it on youtube until about two weeks ago when I found it had been removed because of copyrights. Apparently links don't post here, but if you're interested, the song itself is still on youtube. Look for Always The Ink Spots. The Ink Spots sing it once in a similar style. After they sing it once (ending around 1:20), it wanders off into a spoken thing I'm not fond of.

**Epilogue 2**

The caterers Castle had hired came in on schedule to set up for dinner, and Kate again asked why there were caterers this time. They usually made family meals like this one themselves. He explained that he just wanted a night for his family and extended family to relax and enjoy their dinner without having to work at it or clean up after it.

"Just enjoy it," he told her as he buttoned the cuffs of his shirt.

"You look very handsome tonight," Kate told him from where she casually leaned against the door frame watching him. That's my favorite shirt. I love seeing you wear it."

"I know," he answered with a mischievous smile. "That's why I bought two more just like it." He basked in the smile she gave him, the one she saved just for him…just for moments like this.

"Thank you," she answered, without even the hint of a smirky comment.

He looked at her appreciatively as he put on his jacket. "Is that a new dress?" he asked.

"I saw it when Lanie and I went shopping last weekend. I thought having caterers might call for a new dress." She stood away from the door frame and did a couple of turns to show him all sides of her new outfit. "Do you like it" she asked hopefully.

"I love it. You look beautiful. I'm already having lustful thoughts about getting you back out of it."

"After the company leaves," she promised as she smoothed the shoulders of his jacket, letting her hands linger there longer than necessary.

As he kissed her, they heard someone knocking at the front door.

"We can serve any time you're ready, Mr. Castle," one of the catering staff said as Rick and Kate went to answer the door.

"Thank you, Mark," he answered. "I'll let you know when the last guests arrive. You can start then."

"Yes, Sir."

Martha and Alexis had come downstairs just as Castle opened the door for Ryan and Jenny. The Ryans were soon followed by Lanie and Esposito…and within a few more minutes, Alex had joined the dinner party, and then Jim Beckett. Dinner was served, the staff was efficient and attentive, and conversation was light and easy. Everyone except Kate knew Castle's intention for the evening, but no one knew how or when he would carry it out.

Castle was familiar with the catering staff. He had worked with them often over the years. Dessert had been prepared so he and Alexis could easily serve it themselves later, and he had asked them to clean up and clear things out while he entertained his guests. He started dance music and invited everyone to join them as he pulled Kate to an open space to dance. Some danced and others sat where they were at the dining table and talked. Before the catering staff left with their healthy tips, Castle and a couple of other members of his group had a short dance with each of them, and all three members of the catering team left laughing and exchanging thank you's with the host.

The dancers wandered back to talk with those who still sat at the table, most of them wondering when Castle was going to do whatever it was he had planned…and whether it would be simple or elaborate. He had given nothing away; and so far, Kate seemed oblivious to anything more unusual than caterers.

After about twenty minutes with the others at the table, Castle stood, picked up the remote for his sound system in one hand and held out his other hand to Kate. "Dance with me, Kate…an old-fashioned waltz." He checked the remote and clicked it, starting an old song from the nineteen-twenties. The music started, and the smooth, clear voice of Ella Fitzgerald was singing "I'll be loving you always…With a love that's true, always…" He held her and waltzed her slowly around the room, and his guests sat back and smiled, seeming to understand that his plan had begun.

"This song… Where did you find it?" Kate asked as she caught the lyrics that so obviously applied to them.

"Just listen, then I'll tell you about it," he answered and swung her away to twirl her around before pulling her back to him. As the song ended with 'Not for just an hour…not for just a day…not for just a year, but always,' he stopped and took the ring from his pocket to show her. At the last word he said softly, "Marry me, Kate."

She held her left hand out to him, and he slipped the ring on her finger and then kissed her as the room went up in cheers and whistles. When he pulled her close and started dancing again, Kate realized Ms. Fitzgerald had picked up the tempo of the song. It was almost like a little happy dance to follow the love song, and neither of them could seem to stop smiling. Others got up to join them; and when the song ended, they were swamped with congratulatory hugs and demands to see the ring.

After she had shown him the ring, Jim Beckett hugged his daughter and said, "Rick told us he wanted witnesses when you said yes."

Kate suddenly looked distressed. She turned to Castle and threw her arms around his neck. "Yes, yes! Castle, I forgot to say yes."

That brought laughter from the rest of the group, including Castle; and he wrapped his arms around her waist, lifted her from the floor, and swung her in a circle before putting her down.

"When you offered to let me put the ring on your finger without an argument, I assumed that was what you meant. Do you like it?"

"I love it. It's perfect,"

"So are you," he whispered in her ear as he leaned to kiss her cheek.

"Any idea when this will happen?" Alex asked.

"Tomorrow?" Castle answered in the form of another question. When Kate backhanded him in the chest, he asked, "Too soon?" and everyone laughed again.

"We need a date so we can start planning," Martha told them. "Decide soon. There's a lot to do."

"They're barely engaged, Martha," Alex reminded her. "Give them a day or two to enjoy the idea."

"I'm with Martha," Lanie insisted. "There's major shopping to be done."

"In your world, there's major shopping to be done with or without a wedding," Esposito teased, earning his own backhand to the chest. "Do you and Beckett work on that together or something?" he asked, rubbing his hand across his heart, which brought another round of laughter.

"There's champagne, sparkling juices, and dessert," Castle announced. "Help us celebrate."

He and Alexis served dessert, Martha poured the drinks, and everyone toasted the newly engaged couple. After dessert the party began to break up, and congratulations were offered repeatedly as people gradually left for their own homes.

When they were down to Castle's family, which he now considered to include Jim Beckett, Martha left with Alex, saying they were going out for a while. "Don't wait up," she told them.

Jim hugged his daughter again. "I'm happy for you, Katie." He gave Castle a quick hug, too, saying, "Rick, I'll be proud to call you my son."

"Thanks, Jim. I promise to take good care of her," he said appreciatively, wrapping one arm around Kate's shoulders and pulling her close.

"I know you will," Jim answered, giving Castle a fatherly pat on the arm. "And Katie does, too. Goodnight."

"I'm going over to see Paige for a while. You don't need to wait up for me, either," Alexis told them, picking up her purse and walking toward the door. "If I stay too late, I'll just stay there and come back early in the morning; and I'll call if I'm staying there."

"Looks like you thought of everything I'd usually tell you," Castle answered.

"See you in the morning," she called over her shoulder as she left.

"You think they planned that ahead of time?" Castle chuckled.

"Probably…and I can't even find it in me to feel guilty," Kate answered, planting a big kiss on his lips.

"You're gonna marry me," he said with a big grin, standing with his arms around her waist.

"Yeah" She grinned back and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Are you scared?"

"Terrified, but not because of you."

"Me, too." He held her close, his hand on the back of her head, holding it against his shoulder. "We can do this, Kate," he said and kissed her temple. "We can make a good life. We'll argue and annoy each other, but we'll get past it and get old together and still be in love. Do you believe that?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be wearing this ring and thinking about being your wife. I believe you. Tell me about the song. I liked it."

"It was written in the twenties as a love song, but it makes a good lullaby, too. Mother sang it to me; she said her mother sang it to her. I sang it to Alexis. It has nice memories. Today just adds to them." Changing the subject suddenly, he pleaded, "Please tell me it doesn't have to be a long engagement."

"It doesn't have to be a long engagement."

"Can it be a really short engagement?"

Why do you want it that short?" she teased.

"Mostly because I love you, and I want to get to the part where I can call you my wife. Girlfriend just didn't say enough about how I feel about you. Fiancé is a big improvement, but…"

"And the rest of the reason?"

He let a little chuckle escape before saying, "We've been careful…most of the time…but what we've been doing lately would tax any kind of birth control; and, Kate, I wouldn't ever want you to think I married you for any reason except that I want to…I sooo much want to. And, besides that…I _so_ do not want to have to tell my very responsible daughter that I've been careless enough that my girlfriend…no…that my _fiancé_ is pregnant."

Kate laughed. "I probably don't want to have to tell her that, either." Sounding more serious, she leaned back to look at him and asked, "Does Alexis know that she's the reason you married Meredith?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't have told her…probably would have stuck my head in the sand and hoped we had been divorced long enough she wouldn't put all the dates together and figure it out, but Meredith just threw it out there one day while Alexis was visiting her in California."

"How old was she then?"

"Thirteen. It bothered her for a while, but she finally decided that she always knew I wanted her from day one, whether she always thinks her mother did or not."

"You mentioned options when we were working on the sci-fi convention case. Do you really want another child? You've just sent the first one to college." Somewhat shyly she asked, "How would you feel if it happened? It hasn't," she added quickly to avoid worrying him, "but how would you feel if it did?"

"Elated," he assured her. "We could sing our song to another little Castle…keep the tradition going. I like being a dad." He gave her one of his little smirky smiles. "Our children would probably not make for easy parenting, but Alexis is great. If I could manage that on my own with half her genes being Meredith's, then, between the two of us, you and I could probably find a way to get one to turn out pretty well. In spite of my public image, Kate, I think I must be the marrying kind. I'm sorry I can't say you're my only wife, but I can promise you'll be the last one. You've spoiled me for anybody else." He paused and gave her a soft kiss. "Do you want kids?"

"Not right now, but later…after we've had time to settle into this a little more."

"So…short engagement…just in case?" he asked mischievously.

"Long enough to wrap our heads around it and plan a wedding?"

"Do you remember how long it took Ryan and Jenny to plan a wedding?"

"Small wedding. Shouldn't take as long."

"You don't want a big wedding?"

"No. I want to be married to you. All the important people should be there, but there aren't that many of them."

"I'm again regressing to lustful thoughts about getting you out of that dress. Can we table this discussion until tomorrow?"

"Table, desk, bed, shower…wherever you want," she answered suggestively. "We seem to have the whole place to ourselves…and something to celebrate."

"Decisions, decisions," he answered, turning out lights and walking her toward the bedroom. "Let's decide while we rescue my future wife from that confining dress."


End file.
